Author: toseealife

Looking around or looking up? The third.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

I’m still going over The Hiding Place. The principles I want to cover in this article are perhaps the hardest to live. I want to open with a thought. The Ten Booms were ordinary people, but they involved their faith in everything, and it made them extraordinary. Greatness comes with faith, but it comes when you’re not looking. You’ll be the last to see it. Corrie never thought she was super special.

Now for the most remarkable thing about their story:

In the second prison Corrie learned the name of the man who’d betrayed them. She says, “Flames of fire seemed to leap around that name in my heart. I thought of Father’s final hours, alone and confused, in a hospital corridor. Of the underground work so abruptly halted. I thought of Mary Itallie arrested while walking down the street. And I knew that if Jan Vogel stood in front of me now I could kill him.” The life dropped out of her spiritual existence. She worked herself into “a sickness of body and spirit.” She told a prison friend about it all, was only too happy to. She was puzzled by Betsie’s seemingly unchanged attitude. Finally one night she asked, “Betsie, don’t you feel anything about Jan Vogel? Doesn’t it bother you?” “Oh, yes, Corrie! Terribly! I’ve felt for him ever since I knew–and pray for him whenever his name comes into my mind. How dreadfully he must be suffering!” Corrie goes on to say, “For a long time I lay silent in the huge shadowy barracks restless with the sighs, snores, and stirrings of hundreds of women. Once again I had the feeling that this sister with whom I had spent all my life belonged somehow to another order of beings. Wasn’t she telling me in her gentle way that I was as guilty as Jan Vogel? Didn’t he and I stand together before an all-seeing God convicted of the same sin of murder? For I had murdered him with my heart and with my tongue. ‘Lord Jesus,” I whispered into the lumpy ticking of the bed, ‘I forgive Jon Vogel as I pray that you will forgive me. I have done him great damage. Bless him now, and his family…’ That night for the first time since our betrayer had a name I slept deep and dreamlessly until the whistle summoned us to roll call.”

How do you forgive on such a scale? Later, out of prison and speaking in Germany,  Corrie met one of the guards from her prison. “And suddenly it was all there–the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie’s pain-blanched face. He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. ‘How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein,’ he said. ‘To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!’ His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side. Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me. I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him. I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I couldn’t. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me your forgiveness. As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him. While into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me. And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His.”

I wonder if I could be so humble, or forgive so thoroughly. I know that we are made ready for any trial that we need to face. We are fully equipped. Though the choice of whether or not to “train” is ours. Corrie and Betsie trained all their lives. They were raised on the Bible and church and they did things out of faith all their lives. Whether you agree with such a life style or not, it clearly does something. But the sisters would never want us to give them credit so it’s only fair to them that I say it really wasn’t them.

Looking around or looking up? Continued.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

Last time I wrote about looking around at the bad things in the world, and having courage; and I mentioned heroes. So today I want to talk about two of my personal heroes, Cornelia and Betsie Ten Boom. I’ve read the book “The Hiding Place” several times. It tells the story of these two women and their father, who hid Jews during the Nazi occupation of Holland. They were betrayed and discovered and both women went to three separate Nazi prisons as a result. Corrie was sick when it happened, because of that she was put in solitary confinement. For months she was alone in a small cell with a little square window. Betsie spent her time telling her cellmates about God, and doing her best to beautify prison life. They were then moved to a concentration camp, happily reunited. There they had to work, and learned who the man who’d betrayed them was. Corrie struggled with feelings of hatred for that man…until Betsie reminded her of God’s forgiveness. Later they were moved to an extermination camp. Even there they still told people about God. About two weeks before Corrie was released, Betsie–who was sickly–died. Corrie was not crushed however, though she was sad, because she knew without a doubt where Betsie was. Finally Corrie was released. Home at last she didn’t return to underground work, but began speaking about what she and Betsie had learned in the camps. She opened homes for Jews, Germans, and fellow Dutchmen.

I learned a lot from this book and I can’t do it justice here, I suggest reading it. The story rings true today, Corrie’s world was overtaken with darkness, hate, cruelty, and fear; but her and her families response was always love and goodness and mercy. Their courage they accredited to God alone. In prison Corrie found God to be her hiding place. The verse “Thou art my hiding place and my shield; I hope in they word…” caught her attention even as a child of six. Later she remembered them in prison.

One very profound thing Corrie was taught by her father was after her first sight of death.

“Corrie,” he began gently, “when you, and I go to Amsterdam–when do I give you your ticket?” I (Corrie) sniffed a few times, considering this. “why, just before we get on the train.” “Exactly. And our wise father in heaven knows when we’re going to need things, too. Don’t run out ahead of Him, Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need–just in time.”

Casper Ten Boom’s advice closely resonates to Jesus’ words to His disciples, “But when they arrest you and deliver you up, do not worry beforehand, or premeditate what you will speak. But whatever is given you in that hour, speak that; for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit.” Mark 13:11. Corrie saw the “train ticket” in the future times when someone she knew died. It stayed with her. Our own strength is just not enough. Man fears death above almost all else. We cannot face it with only our strength. There’s an old phrase “There are no atheists in foxholes.”

There is also fear of death in another part of the book. Right in the danger zone. Corrie had a dream or vision of their arrest, she told Betsie. Wondering if it was a vision. Betsie answers: “I don’t know, but if God has shown us bad times ahead, it’s enough for me that He knows about them. That’s why He sometimes shows us things, you know–to tell us that this too is in His hands.”

Again, Betsie’s faith aligns with scripture. When Jesus was warning them in Mark, he also said “But take heed; see, I have told all things beforehand.” (Mark 13:23.) “And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.” (Matthew 24:6.) Jesus also repeatedly says “But he who endures to the end shall be saved.” (Matthew 24:13.)

Betsie’s peace came from knowledge of another thing as well. During a plane fight, with bombs and explosions (as there will be when there are bombs.) Corrie got out of bed and went into the kitchen where Betsie was. Going back to bed she found a the inch piece of jagged metal on her pillow! It pricked her finger. She raced back down the stairs. As Betsie’s bandaged her hand. Corrie exclaimed. “Betsie, if I hadn’t heard you in the kitchen–” Betsie puts a finger on Corrie’s mouth. “Don’t say it Corrie! There are no if’s in God’s world. And no places that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety– O Corrie, let us pray that we may always know it!”

“Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me under the shadow of your wings, from the wicked who oppress me, from my deadly enemies who surround me.” (Psalm 17:8-9.) “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.” (Psalm 139: 7-10.)

To Betsie, no place was safer than another place. In a thunder storm a tree would be as safe as a house. (I’m not advocating stupidity by the way.) It’s not where we are, but who is watching over us. A child lost in the mall may be in no more danger than one who is home alone. The difference is not the place it’s in whether or not their mom or Dad is with them. It is the same with all of us. A closet, the edge of a cliff, they fell different. But with God there is no difference, He is everywhere. Which is why He says “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord you God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

That’s all for this article, but watch for part three. There’s more to tell about the Ten Booms.

Looking around or looking up?

/ toseealife / 1 Comment

I read the news off Google sometimes, not really on purpose, it pops up. And it’s really depressing most of the time. I’ve heard this described as looking around. In other words, focusing on the world around us and forming our opinions based off of that. My mom’s outlook on life sometimes seems just a little too unsuspicious to me, not that she’s not smart, she is. It’s really not her at all actually, it’s the time she was born in. I truly believe that, unless you really choose otherwise, the decade you were born in can shape your world view, or it’d be more accurate to say the attitudes embraced by the people who live in that decade. Let’s be honest, back in the 60’s it was a different world. With different people. The adults in my life are not naïve about life, but the bad things that happen seem to shock them. The difference is, they don’t shock me.

I actually think that’s sad on my part. What happened to this world? Murders that happen every day. When a robbery becomes a relief if no one was shot, we need a double take. I’m not intending to depress you, just to be real before I move on.

Millennials do not look at life as good. We feel no real remorse when we hear of deaths or suffering. It’s not really surprising, we’ve been fed futuristic movies and books, and news that seems to consider good things not worth reporting except every now and then just to keep us on our toes. If you’ve felt fear over your own inability to feel pity for another, then I can sympathize. Apathy is scary. And partly, it isn’t our fault.

We didn’t choose to hear about some things, sometimes people make us listen, some people seem to enjoy ruining your day by telling you the latest news, just in case you didn’t check the news that day. (Imagine not doing that!) What is our fault is supporting it. Becoming a naysayer, a pessimist, a fatalist, that is not the answer it’s becoming part of the problem. You will never convince some people to be cheerful, but you can be. Here I move to looking up. In John 16, Jesus warned about believers and unbelievers having sorrow. At the end of the chapter, vs 33 he says this: “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (Emphasis mine.) it is not, according to Jesus, wrong to have cheer. A positive outlook, happiness. Other translations put courage instead of cheer. And that brings me to another good point. I know too many people who deal with the trouble of this world by sitting on their duffs in front of TVs or video games and forgetting the problems. Or Facebook. Pretty much anything electronic can be an escape. Even this blog could be if I spent all my time on it. Look folks, I know you’re scared. You have a reason to be scared. BUT, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE. You can be brave. Don’t fall for the Soap Opera lie that cowardice is okay and normal. Bravery is really a choice, but you can only make the choice if you know that fear is not your identity. Think about action movies. Think about the end of the Avengers. Is evil fully defeated? Or is it just put off for awhile? There is fear still. There’s no security. Where is the peace? Heroes are always watching their backs in modern stories. The Bible teaches that you don’t have to watch your back because God is already got it. Sometimes I ache for a godly superhero movie. Not because I think a movie that has no reference to God is bad, I don’t think that, but heroism seems unattainable nowadays. We can’t all have deadly martial arts skills or special axes or hammers or super strength. Does that mean we can’t be heroes? You know surprisingly Disney has this one figured out. Over and over again in their movies they say “It’s about the heart.” In Frozen, it’s the heart that makes the difference. In the Hunchback of Notre Dame the gypsy man asks at the end “What makes a monster and what makes a man?” The answer if you’ve seen the movie is clearly this: His heart. There’s even a Disney short called “The cat that looked at a king” in which the cat asks “What is the measure of a man?” A wise old man answers, “by his heart.” Jesus said to be of good courage. The root of courage is cor, which means heart. The Bible also says in Psalms that if you wait upon the Lord he will strengthen your heart. If you want to really shine in this dark age, you need to look up and have a strong heart. I will write more about this soon. Until then, I leave you with this, whether you’re a Christian or not, you have to admit this is cool: “For evildoers shall be cut off; but those who wait on the LORD, they shall inherit the earth…Wait on the LORD, and keep His way, and He shall exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off you shall see it.” (Psalms 37: 9, 34)

The Quest: Part Seven

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

WHAT IS LOVE?

This is the second most important question anyone can ask. I want to quote a scene from my favorite movie Frozen.

The scene is set in a room in the Arindelle castle. Anna is with Olaf (the talking snowman). She is freezing, literally.

Olaf: Where’s Hans? What happened to your kiss?

Anna: It wasn’t true love.

Olaf: But we ran all the way here.

Anna: Olaf you can’t stay here you’ll melt.

Olaf: I am not leaving until we find another act of true love to save you…any ideas?

Anna: I don’t even know what love is.

Anna makes what I call the Great Confession. She doesn’t know what love is. We’re all in the same boat: We don’t have a clue!

I strike a snag here because I can’t explain love. Love is not explainable. You have to have it revealed to you. Through another person sometimes, or of course through God. But I’ll use two illustrations to help as much as I can.

Firstly, Anna’s story is a good one. She’s been shut out for years but she still has hope that things could be different. She slowly moves from blaming her sister, to accepting their differences, to appreciating said differences, to offering to start over with a clean slate; when still refused, understandably she doesn’t know what to do next. She has no idea what else she can try. Let’s return to her conversation with Olaf.

Anna: I don’t even know what love is.

Olaf: That’s okay, I do, love is putting someone else’s needs before yours.

With childlike simplicity Olaf sums up the basis of true love. We could just park right there because none of us are doing it. I don’t, you don’t, not all the time. When was the last time you did something for someone that didn’t benefit you in the least? Anna’s later act of true love is a perfect example. (SPOILER ALERT: She sacrificed herself for her sister.) Up till then she got something out of it if her sister, Elsa, returned, but that was the moment she put Elsa before herself. Just as Christians believe Jesus did for us on the cross.

Selah. (Pause and consider.) I have no words for how beautiful that kind of love is.

Example 2: “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Is love a feeling? It can be. The Bible is full of scriptures like “My delight is in her” and “I am Zealous for Zion…with great fervor.” “Let me see your face let me hear your voice, for your voice is sweet and your face lovely.” (There’s some more manly verses for you guys, don’t worry.) I used to think love was all feeling, then I thought it wasn’t feeling at all. Now I begin to think it is both. Choosing to love will eventually turn into feeling; and if you keep it up you can begin to enjoy the other person, even one who used to drive you crazy.

But first you have to let go of needing everyone to want you and need you. You’ll never get it by whining about it or thinking about it constantly. Only one person can fix the leaky place in you that feels alone even around friends; or empty, when the day before you felt full; or afraid, when you were feeling bold as a lion. If you know you need the kind of love described in the two examples, then you know what I’m going to say. Or maybe you’ve never heard of that kind of love before, well now you have. And it is real, I know it. T.T.F. N.

Fear vs Love

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

“Heart beats fast, colors and promises, how to be brave? How can I love when I’m afraid?”– A thousand Years. Christina Perri

I watched a YouTube video by Blimeycow called “What is the opposite of love?” The answer was fear. That really hit home. It’s difficult for me to talk about. For much of my life I lived in fear, and I felt unloved, I felt alone, I felt no love for others. All because of fear.

I hate fear, but it’s comfortable, and I wonder how I can be brave and love.

God promises me He will make me brave and give me courage. The verse I believe God has given me to live my life by (Christians call it a “Life verse”) is Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” I learned this verse sometime in my elementary Sunday School years, and I’ve never forgotten it.

Love hurts. I have found that out. There’s always a person close to you who you don’t see eye to eye with, a lot hurt feelings and misinterpretation of things ensue. I have grown in loving this person, and it has increased the pain. Yet, even pain from love is better than the numbness of fear. I can atestify to that. Still, who wants more pain?

When I turn to God, sometimes I feel better, other times I don’t. But one thing I learn is how I’m really acting and what I want to be like. I’ve cried over failure and ranted in anger but my actions don’t always line up with what I thought I wanted, and sometimes that’s good and other times it’s bad.

Jesus is my answer. His name offends many, but when I hear it, it means something special, that I can’t really describe. Like the names of your family members do.

I am not as brave as I want to be, but looking back to how I was, I’m amazed at the change in me. There are still a few fears that plague me now but many fears are gone. The trouble is often Christianized fear. The one that masquerades as I-just-don’t-want-to-hurt-anybody. Usually not doing something because you’re afraid to hurts people more than doing it, but that never made a fearful person feel better.

I have dreams, ones fear will never let me accomplish. Dreams of changing things, of loving people even when they hate me. Of loving the unlovely, the unwanted, the ugly, the alone. There was a time when I was not afraid to do those things. Fear is not normal. Science now shows our brains are wired for love and not fear, fear is toxic. (I could’ve told them that.) God is love and there is no fear in Him.

When God talks to me about fears (and I’ve not heard a voice from heaven or anything) it comes back to faith and trust. No pixie-dust, but that old Disney rhyme has a grain of truth. I wonder why I’d stay in fear if I had a choice; but like I said earlier it’s comfortable. The fact of the matter is love has no guarantees except that it’ll be there. A fearful person, any person actually, wants guarantees. Security. And God is our only security. He is with us wherever we go.  Now for a few revelations. Health is not with us always, the police are not with us, fame, fortune, food, money, (ooh big one) friends, family, churches; none of these are with us wherever we go. They are not guaranteed, though many a time they are provided.

In conclusion, living in fear is just plain stupid. If God is for us. Now if God were against us it’d make perfect sense. So the simple solution is get on God’s side if you aren’t already. It’s my solution anyway. For more on overcoming fear watch for my upcoming article The Quest part 7. Until then, “Fear nothing when you’re in the right!”–Jack, Abbot and Costello’s ‘Jack and the beanstalk’

I’m Natasha and I’m a homeschooled kid.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

So I was watching these videos on YouTube about homeschooling misconceptions, and I think it’s hilarious.

You could say “I’ve been a transfer student” and it would be less weird then “I’m homeschooled.”

I just want to write this to say I’m grateful my parents homeschool me. Now it’s not a project, though it may sound like that, it’s really just life. Which is what’s great about it.

I think being educated at home has given me a better view of what really matters. I’m not caught up in all the drama of who likes who, who’s the nerd, who’s popular, and will I get failed in this class? Seriously, why? I’ve failed once or twice but I don’t lose my self esteem over it. I get to ask the question, why is it so important to be popular? Aren’t we all nerds or geeks in some way? If you aren’t you probably don’t have a life.

Being homeschooled (or Home Ed. for short,) means you can’t run from your problems by the usual means. It’s really not about the schooling itself. It’s why.

I like learning. There, I said it. I like trivia games, word games, and games that require me to think. Honestly, it I went to a regular school I don’t think I’d like learning. I need space, to figure out things myself. One time when I was younger I figured out how to add multiplies of ten, without my mom’s help. I was exhilarated. It was a small thing, but it gave me a confidence that I could figure things out myself and come to a correct conclusion.

There are pitfalls. It’s easy for me to feel smarter than the “average” teenager. Superior brain power people! Of course anyone who’s heard me debate whether Barbie and Ken should be together might have their doubts.

That’s another thing about Home Ed. I ask  the question “Why?” Why do we think this way? Why do people do that? The tagline for this blog is a question and answer. Asking “why?” has given me a perspective I don’t take for granted. I know it has a lot to do with my parents and them taking the time to explain why they believe certain things. Also I read a lot.

On the weighty side, I knew about problems like politics; poverty; spiritual conditions; and  foreign diseases; all earlier than perhaps I needed to know. Yet I have been able to ponder the answers better because of it. My life view has always been pragmatic. I never have believed in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, or any fairy. St. Nicholas was a real person and parents put money under your pillow and presents under the tree. I get strange looks when I tell people this. I don’t get it. Doesn’t knowing this help you to know your parents better? What is so bad about that? Why do we need to believe fiction? (Not to sound angry or judgmental, it just doesn’t make sense to me. And, hey maybe you never had that problem, just ignore me in that case.)

Less compromise. My mom calls me “Miss justice.” Unfairness makes me a little crazy. No argument or debate is too small or too big…right?

No, I’m not brainwashed, indoctrinated, or otherwise told what to think. I am a Christian and so is my family and they have been all my life. Kids do not believe everything just because their parents tell them it’s true. Come on, give kids a little more credit than that. Kids stop believing their parents if their parents lie to them. Like telling them for years about Santa Clause and then saying “Um, yeah, he’s not real.” Any kid could then reason: “Hey if my parents lied to me about him, why not about God?” I’m not saying it’s just the parent’s fault, I’m saying the opposite. I always knew it was my choice to believe. I’ve considered the different views. Just because they’re my parents doesn’t mean they can’t have it right. Nothing else has ever made a whole lot of sense to me.

The funniest thing about homeschooling is socializing. I’m one of the few homeschoolers I know who has never been in much of a co-op or group (we tried it, but it fell away). So mostly I hang with my siblings and parents; and kids from my church. I’ve seen as much of regular school social life as I ever care to, and I prefer my siblings to a superficial sort of friendship. Not all school relationships are that way, but too many are. Socializing with people you’re around all day is hilarious.

Schooling is about learning when you’re ready and learning well and knowing how to use your knowledge. I highly recommend it, and I will homeschool my kids if at all possible.

Happy learning!