Author: toseealife

Hakuna Matata

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I was thinking today about how much I used to worry about things. I worried constantly. about the weirdest stuff.

Here’s a list of some of the things:

Worrying about getting sick, even diseases that it would be very unlikely for me to get.

Worrying about a natural disaster occurring, even ones that don’t happen where I live.

Worrying about getting poisoned.

Worrying about ending up in the hospital.

Worrying about whether I was crazy or not.

Worrying about someone breaking into my house.

Worrying about villains from movies that aren’t actually real.

Worrying about criminals that are real.

I think that’s plenty, but there were more. As you can see some of my worries were irrational, and I knew they were. But one thing I’ve found out is that your mind doesn’t know the difference between a real threat and an imagined one. (At least the immature mind doesn’t. And your emotions never do.) But you know what? I’ll bet you’ve had some of those worries. Most of us do, or we have other irrational fears. If you don’t you’re very fortunate. My worrying was the result of my soul being enslaved to fear. To the point where if I wasn’t afraid of something, I was a little uncomfortable, because it was abnormal.

That was years ago, and it has taken me a long time to get free of fear. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can simply choose not to be afraid, if fear runs deep in you; the choice method only works if you are not a normally fearful person and your fear is on the surface. When fear is rooted in your personality, it has to be pulled out. That’s not to say it’s always painful. Often the answer is just to experience love. That wipes out a lot of fear. I know for a fact that until you’ve felt love, really felt it, you can not even begin to stand up to fear on your own. You might have a few victories, but you won’t really change your nature. Fear is not always something you can walk out of, sometimes you have to be pulled out of it.

Take Elsa from Frozen, she really wants to be free of fear, but eve though she sings an amazing song, and changes her image, and leaves behind her old life, the minute she has a reason, she becomes ensnared in her fear again. In fact she sings about it, with Anna:

Anna: For the first time in forever…

Elsa: Oh, I’m such a fool, I can’t be free!

Anna: You don’t have to be afraid.

Elsa: No escape from the storm inside of me!…I can’t control the curse….there’s so much fear…

Anna:…we can change this winter weather, and  everything will be all right.

Elsa: I can’t!!!

See? She can’t. There are probably other examples. If you’ve ever been so frustrated with someone who keeps backing down from challenges, even though they know they shouldn’t, they are probably afraid. If you have that problem, then you’re afraid of something. It’s okay, we’ve all been afraid.

But it’s not okay to live in fear. I think everyone would agree with me on this except people on TV. Have you noticed how popular it is to give in to fear on Television? It’s considered funny. People pass it off that way because they aren’t willing to try to be great. So they make mediocrity humorous. This is not to be cruel to people in the entertainment industry, most of them do it because it’s what is expected of them.

I was miserable as a fearful person. But I did not wake up one day and decide I would be brave. In fact, when I came to the breaking point, bravery was far from my mind. When I became a Christian, I had no thought of being brave. To be honest, I mostly felt sorry for myself, because its not like it was my fault I was cowardly. But there was just a little tiny part of me that finally said “Something is more important than fear.” At the time that something was not going to hell.( It’s a long story.) Since then I’ve decided other things are worth more than safety. But even one thing is enough to get you started. God does the rest.

The choice part comes in when you get scared again and have to keep making progress. It’s never your own power, it is only letting yourself be led.

This may sound nuts to anyone who does not believe in God. But I don’t believe there is another cure for chronic fear and worry syndrome. I will say that people have helped me as well, but you always have to be willing to open up to them enough so that they can help you. Worry is like any other addictive substance, it’s hard to kick, but once you do, you don’t want to go back. Here’s to being worry free!

Natasha

What’s in a name?

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Well it’s been over a week. It’s the Holidays you know, there’s more to think about, also I have other writing projects I work on besides this blog.

This may or may not be surprising, but blogging is the way I get out my more intellectual ideas and explore real life phenomenon. My real passion in writing is fiction. I love making stuff up. Writing about my own life usually bores me after awhile. Maybe because not too many things have happened to me yet. When you spend most of your time at home, even little things become important, but it doesn’t mean they’d be interesting to anyone else.

An interesting thing that happened last week was I looked myself up on the internet. Of course I can’t be specific, but I found out that a lot of people share my name, my fuller name that is (I knew there were other Natashas already.) And some interesting people have my name. I wouldn’t necessarily trade places with them, but one happens to be a writer of sorts, what are the odds?

It got me thinking about names. Some people think certain names give you certain characteristics. This may be true. In the Bible there’s a story about a guy who’s name meant “fool” and that’s what he was. But then there’s names that mean pretty basic things, like a plant or even a kind of metal, and you can’t say a person will become like that can you?

Maybe it’s all in why you choose a name for something. Plants that are given names thrive better, if the names are good. Naming anything makes you get more fond of it, unless you give it a name to express your contempt. We’ve probably all seen, or read about, or encountered a bully who nicknames their victim something awful, and it demoralizes them. We  know that what you label someone slants your view of them.

You’d think with all our knowledge we’d learn to be careful about what we call people, but knowledge never makes anyone careful unless they are careful already, by nature. I am fortunate to have good names, and very few people have ever nicknamed me, and eve fewer have nicknamed me something bad. But it only takes one time to teach you how much it stings. The worst thing is if you start believing what they call you.

I actually like to nickname people, and usually I don’t do it with an intent to annoy them, but I used to. (To my siblings.) So I’m well aware of how easy it is to start using this power of words the wrong way. And there are many wrong  ways, this is just one of them. I don’t want to hate on anyone reading who’s done this, because I shouldn’t talk. But believe me, it is so much better if you stop. since I stopped doing it, it’s like I can breathe better in my relationships with those people.

I’ve heard that I’m just too sensitive about this type of thing, but in my experience, it’s just better to clear the air and not antagonize people. (On purpose.) The bible has plenty to say about this, and so do plenty of other sources. Like Aesop’s Fables, and plenty of less famous books. You’d be hard put to find a story in which the use of words did not lead to trouble  in sooner or later.  So I think I’ve now made my point quite distincly. I’ve said enough.

Until next post–Natasha.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving

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Naturally, I won’t be posting tomorrow, so I’ll say it now.

I have a lot coming up. I’m turning 18 soon. Something I’ve been waiting for since I was old enough to like taking care of kids, which was 6 or 7 for me.(I don’t mean I babysat at that age, of course.) My birthday will also mean I’m finally old enough to drive, which I held off on till this long because I heard it was better, and we didn’t have a good car anyway. (It was an amazing car, but not for a beginner.) I also self inflicted a no-dating principle till I turned 18. And now I know why that was wise advice I was given, because looking back, I wasn’t ready to date any sooner than this.

This is my year of change, that is  certain. Nothing has been constant since this Summer, but thing started changing last Summer. I believe this is sometimes called a Year of Grace.

But I’ve become a much more confident person, and I’ve had some dreams to fulfill come to me, and I have places to get to in life. And how many people can say that at the brink of 18?

Circumstantially, I have less to be thankful for than I did a year ago. But I won’t focus on that. Those who have next to nothing and are thankful for that are more thankful than people who have plenty, 9 times out of 10.

So, as it is the point of the holiday, I encourage everyone to take a minute to look over the past year and see what they’ve grown into, and what experiences they had that taught them, or changed their lives. I’d love to hear about this if anyone wants to comment. Thank you for reading, see you after Thursday.–Natasha.

Quality driven

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Hello Viewers, sorry it’s been a few days. I didn’t have any inspiration.

I wonder if any one who read this blog might ask why I talk so much about right and wrong, to be honest, I think my dedication to it sometimes wierds people out and gives them the impression that I don’t have any fun.

Well, that doesn’t matter if I know my own reasons. But I have been too uptight before, and there are some reasons that I think other people relate to.

For one thing, when you want quality stuff (for whatever reason), of necessity you must start censoring the garbage around you. But most of us, when we first start caring about this, go overboard. We start to suspect everything. I think there’s an expression for that, goblins around every corner or something along that line. But, on the other hand, if we loosen up too much, before long we’re right back where we started. An illustration would be the infamous resolution to get in shape and stop eating junk food, never eating any sweet stuff seems extreme, and can make you a party pooper around the holidays, (or it would at my house,) but if you don’t watch it you’ll just fall back into your old habits. Pretty soon you’re not exercising either.

I’ve read that it’s important to keep promises to yourself, but I’ve also learned it’s better not to make them if you know you won’t do it.

So those are some fallbacks of trying to have a disciplined life. But it doesn’t explain why people want to. Some do because it leads to more self respect; others for the health benefits; others are content with simple things. But often there are religious reasons for the choice.

I think there’s a stereotype that Christians, or just Conservatives, don’t watch dirty movies, don’t drink, don’t smoke, and don’t sleep around, all because they want to be nice, good people. Well, maybe that is true, but it’s not the main reason. The fact is a lot of Christians do those things before they convert, so if being nice was the main concern, what made it happen all the sudden?

I’ve known plenty of Christians who watch movies I’d never even heard of till I started attending Youth Group, and who have more popular ideas about morality than the Conservative Ideal. (Nothing-at-all-edgy-ever.)  I was shocked that people who claimed to believe in the Bible bought into the stuff they did. I won’t name specific things, but believe me I can still remember it. I mention this because shock is getting rare nowadays when it comes to questionable things in the culture. I come from a home where quality was the main concern in entertainment, as in everything else, but I know people who just want it to be amusing, as long as it’s not straight up evil, they think it’s harmless.

I’m sure my followers, being the thinking type, don’t hold this view. We all must agree that there is a standard beyond “It’s harmless” even if we don’t agree on what that standard is.

I want to learn from something when I partake of it. I’ve never had fun when I’m trying only to have fun, and not do anything wholesome. The secret to fun is that you can’t demand it, you have to do something that’s good for you and the fun comes in. It’s true bad things can be fun, but there’s not a person alive who’ll tell you it’s the same kind of fun. (I hope. I’ve never met one.) Sports are fun for the exercise, teamwork, and discipline they bring. Games are fun when you have to use your brain. Art is fun because it is creative. It’s a simple fact that fun comes from doing things that are good.

Am I missing out because I believe I need to be careful about what I allow in my head? No. Frankly the argument that I am is without foundation, the only thing that can be used to justify it is other people’s standards of what is fun, and when those are lower than mine, of course they think I’m uptight. The test really is if I have fun at all, if I don’t, then, yes, I’m too uptight. And if you never have any fun, please, find something that you can do that you enjoy. But if I have fun doing what I do, and build my character at the same time, then what can anyone say to put it down?

All well and good, but can I really condemn what other people do, if it works for them.

Here’s the thing, define “works.” Does it make you a better person? Does it inspire you? does it make you healthier? Does it get you to loosen up when you should, and better your focus on what’s important? Then great, I’d say it works for you.

But if it weakens your resolve, leaves you feeling guilty, puts a barrier in relationships, and takes away from your life and energy instead of adding to it; then no, it doesn’t work for you. There is a reason quality is valued, because it’s essential to happy and healthy living. When I know my life is filled with good things, I am at peace. That’s all I have to say for now, toodles20160329_185243_001–Natasha

 

I’m in Control.

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I hope I won’t lose points if I admit that I do, on occasion, like to watch Barbie movies. Barbie annoys the heck out of me 90% of the time, but now and then the company comes out with a good movie. (Is there a hashtag for that?) In case anyone reading likes her, here are my top three: Barbie and  The Fairy Secret, Barbie Princess Charm school, And Barbie Starlight Adventure. The titles are the worst, I admit, but the content isn’t. Okay, now to why I am bringing this up. In yet another movie (The Princess and the Pop star,)045 there’s  a song that’s pretty good, and one line in it has always grabbed my attention. “I’m in control, I broke the mold, the girl you see is up to me.” (Here I am.) It’s a standard theme, being yourself.

But I always think of the implications. It’s one thing to be yourself, it’s another to think that means no rules, no boundaries. “No right, no wrong, no rules for me, I’m free!” I love Elsa, but I’ve never like that part of the song. But  the words “I’m in control” from the above song, those warrant a little reflection.

What does it mean to be in control? Especially of your career, your life, your self.

Well we all know one can’t be in control of one’s career, disaster can strike, at any time. We hope it will not, or we ignore the possibility, but it is there. You can make career choices, but you can’t control accidents, economy, or public zeal.

Being in control of our life is something a lot of us really want. If only we could meet all its demands, and still do something meaningful. If we could know we were making a difference. Well, we are, whether we know it or not. No one is inconsequential. On our own strength, I really don’t think we can balance all aspects of life. And that is because of thing number three.

If we can’t control ourselves, then we can’t control anything else. I heard the term Self-Control for years before I knew what it was. I’m still figuring it out actually, but this is what I’ve got so far: Self Control is the ability to keep your feelings and impulses from ruling your behavior. It is not banishing all feeling of pain or sadness, it is simply not letting those feelings ruin your life. Self Control means if you get angry, you can keep from blowing up at someone, even if they deserve it. Self Control means you’ll do what you intend to, and not get side tracked or succumb to temptation.

In that movie of movies, Frozen, Elsa thinks for a while that the key to freedom is having no rules to break. But no one has to tell her that’s not true, she realizes it pretty quickly after her sister informs her that she’s plunged her entire kingdom into deep winter; eternal winter they think. (I suppose there’s no proof it was eternal.) Elsa finds out that whether she’s around man-made rules or not, there are rules of nature. Fear does affect things. And she’d not gotten rid of hers yet. Fear is very hard to control, I’ll admit. Sometimes you can’t, the only time you can is when something else is more important than fear. I make this point because so many things in ourselves that we don’t control are fear-based. Anger is, panic is, stress is, binging is. The answer is, of course, Love.

Love is my favorite thing to talk about, because it’s all we need. Every need finds its root in love. God’s love is the cure for every fear, and human love can do wonders as well.

Before Self Control, comes love. So at best, the message that you can be yourself when you learn self-control is half cocked. You can be yourself when you know you’re loved. Bottom line. And I mean really loved, unconditionally.

All right, that’s all I’ve got for now. Next time–Natasha.

A stand?

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Whew! Election day is finally past. I’m not against elections, but all of them cannot have been as intense as this one was. I’m not unhappy with the results, but  I won’t go into that, I’m fairly certain everyone who reads my blog can guess my political positions. Anyway, what’s concerning me more is what to do now. Even when the person you wanted is elected, it’s not like some magic spell is going to suddenly give you a chance to do something with it.

I keep seeing and hearing about protests.

I remember when I was a few years younger, I might react like that.

It’s easy to react, and maybe the protesters honestly think they can help something by raising their voice.

I think that poses the more interesting question here. It would be easy to just shake my head at their antics, but what if they have a point? Isn’t it a free country?

This is where it gets more complicated. I like to say that freedom is not freedom without responsibility. A phrase I came up with to sum up my belief that unless you guard yourself, you’ll soon become enslaved to something, even if you don’t realize it. Like the words “I know I need to stop, but…” It’s denial. I support freedom in any area of life, but only if it’s used responsibly.

It’s a question I have to deal with a lot as I transition from minor to adult. What is just sass and disrespect, and what is a legitimate issue that I need to be more in control of if I’m going to learn. I don’t believe there’s an easy answer, because every situation is different when it comes to this. But I have some guidelines.

  1. If I am just raising my voice in anger, and fear, then it is not a stand; it is a plea. It may be a legitimate plea. I think people should be willing to listen to pleas, there may be a real neglect or abuse happening and it needs to be rectified. But, a plea does not deserve to be treated like a principle. A plea is, usually, simply what you, the plea-er, want. It’s not bad to get what you want on occasion, if it’s a good thing , but if you act like what you want is a law of life for the people around you, then they will laugh at you. And rightly so, because not a single one of us deserves that kind of preference
  2. Have I checked my facts? If what you are taking a stand on is something your really know nothing about, beyond what people have told you, the chances are you’ve been misinformed. The people I respect the most have sometimes given me faulty information, not intentionally , but because they were given false information, and so the story goes on. Even the best sources can have an incomplete picture so it’s good to go to more than one. I just had such an experience this past week.
  3. Am I considering the good of all? In  the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, one of them is “Think win–win.” It means you need to think about what’s best for everyone, yourself included, so that no one gets shortchanged. If we don’t practice this habit, someone is always oppressed, or just plain exhausted. Find things you can agree on with the other party.

If all these fail it may be the time to realize that not everything is worth making a fuss over. Some millennials are never told this, and some, like me, are told it but still have to really struggle to get it ingrained. It took me a long time to develop  thicker skin, I hope it takes other people less time. I am a sensitive person, but I’ve learned that I can’t use that as an excuse to get down every time someone does something I don’t like. And the miracle is, once you stop letting it get you down, often you stop noticing it period.

Since I’m running long, I’ll stop this here. If you have anything to add be sure and comment. I know I need this if nothing else. So maybe some meditation would behoove us all. Catch you later–Natasha.

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