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Proudly Unpopular–Part 1

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So,  a little fun fact about the past century: Though popularity has existed as long as civilization, the adjective Popular really became itself in the last hundred years or so. I think we’ve all seen the movies of the last couple of decades that focused on the pros and cons of being popular or achieving popularity.

There’s nothing wrong with those movies per sec, but I’m beginning to think they’re  a little outdated. Although I’m sure popularity is still a big motivator for people,  what we’re hearing about now, and being held up to, is Self Expression.

Frank B. Gilbreth once lamented that because kids wanted to be popular so much, they didn’t care about being smart or kind, or anything else. (Cheaper By the Dozen.)

Well, we should be glad that our culture has embraced new values, right?

You all knew that was a trick question. So I’ll say upfront that I don’t at all wish for a return to the obsession with popularity. That always stuck me as shallow, and a lot of movies still clichely make the popular people not at all relatable, or even like real people. (What surprises me is really that only us younger generations seem to think that’s a bad representation of them.) But I wonder, have we really lost our obsession with popularity?

The thing about embracing it, was, that it was honest. One freely admitted that they considered the approval of others the most important factor of life. And whether that was applauded or disdained, we were all on the same page. Now, however, popular ideas, opinions, and styles are no longer seen as what they are.

Let me elucidate. What I mean is, a popular idea is one held by a large portion of your society, maybe the majority, or one of the majorities. It is not usually a political idea, because those are more official, it’s more the background for political ideas. Popular thinking is nearly always framed as being a new way. (Though it used to be the old way was more popular, but that’s another story.)

Okay, so here’s my main point. We, as a people, have not actually ceased to conform to popular ideas. We just call it something else.

If you only casually observed our culture, you might think that our newer generations think more for themselves than the previous ones did. After all, we’re always talking about what our personal beliefs are; making up our own minds; following our own heart, or path, or road. (Pocahontas or Moana anyone?) But I dare to say this is all parrot talk.

There are no new ideas, just new names for them. And we are not making our own way, we’re simply choosing which of the old ways to go. Unless you’ve taken a cue from  historical figures like Buddha or Mohammad, you haven’t actually founded your own personal religion. (I’m not disrespecting them or endorsing them, I’m just making a point.)

But that’s what we’re pushing for isn’t it? Everyone needs their own way. And every way is equal, every way is good and bad at the same time. Only it’s really good, or we wouldn’t be advocating it.

There could be a million religions out there, and only one of them would ever be the right one. That’s not because I’m a Christian, but because I think it’s simple logic, there is a Great Truth out there that every religion is searching for and claiming to identify with, one of them must be the closest to it, if they’re all different.

I think we’ve largely forgotten that the purpose of faith is to get closer and closer to the truth. And then to hold on to it.

Self Expression if good, as far as it goes. We need an interesting world. But let’s never forget that the reason we express ourselves is not to benefit ourselves.

We were each given a gift to that will make the world a better place. And it will point other people to the good and beautiful things in Life. If we aren’t doing that then we are misusing our gifts, and if it destroys us, that is why. Yes, Self Expression is good for you also. But only if you’re sharing it. Because otherwise, who will you express it to, and why?

I think that’s a lot to think about, (and this isn’t even a really long post for me,) so I’m going to end it here. Thanks for reading and until next time–Natasha.

Sample: Gandhi and government.

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I don’t know if any of you have ever wondered what kind of schoolwork I do, but this is a sample of the kind of essays I write for the class I’m taking on Leadership. This week’s topic was a speech by Gandhi given when he was being tried for his actions of inciting civil disobedience.

“But I hold it a virtue to be disaffected towards a government which in its totality has done more harm to India than any previous system…I consider it to be a sin to have affection for the system. And it has been a precious privilege for me to be able to write what I have in the various articles tendered against me.”–Gandhi

Why would Gandhi make a plea of being guilty? Because he considered it a sin to obey the law of the land in this instance. He adhered to this basic idea: If a government ever tells you to do something it would be wrong fro you to do as a citizen, then it is wrong, therefore you should not obey it.

I’ve read this idea in books and it makes sense to me because it’s not hard to see that the government functions like a person, in a sense. Civilization starts with one man making an agreement or partnership with another person. Hence the idea of citizen government: The kind of government run by citizens, that must be held to the same standard as an individual.  As a citizen you should not steal from; invade the privacy of; kill; maim; or in any way injure your neighbor. You should act with justice and mercy in doling out punishment to your children, your employees, or anyone under you; and never punish them for something they did not do, or more than fits the crime. So if the government condones or commands the doing of any of these things, it is in the wrong, and good people should not follow it.

Yet this does not draw the line clear enough. People have different ideas about what is right and wrong, our own country is pretty divided over it. I believe there is only one Right System of Values, though the living out of it may vary, and clearly, if two sides have completely different values, someone has missed the mark.

How can we know who is right? This is where the need for religion comes in. Yes, I mean it is a need. Gandhi himself believed religion is a part of politics, unquestionably. He believed that anyone who does not think this does not understand what religion is. I think what he meant was that religion shapes your world view. Your world view will certainly shape your political views. Your world view is not what you profess but what you truly live by; and the problem with modern politics is that we listen only to what people profess and do not examine what they’ve actually done. Gandhi’s whole life was an example of his world view and that was why people listened to him; and why he was so unashamed to state that he was guilty of the crimes they accused him of. Because, by his religion, they were not really crimes.

When we have a religion to go by, knowing what way to direct our politics becomes simpler. We have a right practice and a wrong practice, (any religion that does not have these is not worth believing in, it requires no effort.) It is best when the majority can agree about the right thing, but when the majority is in the wrong and hurting the minority, or vice versa, it is the duty of the other to stand up for themselves and change things. (As Thomas Jefferson so eloquently put in the Declaration of Independence.) Whether they use violence or nonviolence to do this depends on the people and on the situation, the important thing is for them to know that they have the ability and the right to do it.

Hakuna Matata

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I was thinking today about how much I used to worry about things. I worried constantly. about the weirdest stuff.

Here’s a list of some of the things:

Worrying about getting sick, even diseases that it would be very unlikely for me to get.

Worrying about a natural disaster occurring, even ones that don’t happen where I live.

Worrying about getting poisoned.

Worrying about ending up in the hospital.

Worrying about whether I was crazy or not.

Worrying about someone breaking into my house.

Worrying about villains from movies that aren’t actually real.

Worrying about criminals that are real.

I think that’s plenty, but there were more. As you can see some of my worries were irrational, and I knew they were. But one thing I’ve found out is that your mind doesn’t know the difference between a real threat and an imagined one. (At least the immature mind doesn’t. And your emotions never do.) But you know what? I’ll bet you’ve had some of those worries. Most of us do, or we have other irrational fears. If you don’t you’re very fortunate. My worrying was the result of my soul being enslaved to fear. To the point where if I wasn’t afraid of something, I was a little uncomfortable, because it was abnormal.

That was years ago, and it has taken me a long time to get free of fear. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you can simply choose not to be afraid, if fear runs deep in you; the choice method only works if you are not a normally fearful person and your fear is on the surface. When fear is rooted in your personality, it has to be pulled out. That’s not to say it’s always painful. Often the answer is just to experience love. That wipes out a lot of fear. I know for a fact that until you’ve felt love, really felt it, you can not even begin to stand up to fear on your own. You might have a few victories, but you won’t really change your nature. Fear is not always something you can walk out of, sometimes you have to be pulled out of it.

Take Elsa from Frozen, she really wants to be free of fear, but eve though she sings an amazing song, and changes her image, and leaves behind her old life, the minute she has a reason, she becomes ensnared in her fear again. In fact she sings about it, with Anna:

Anna: For the first time in forever…

Elsa: Oh, I’m such a fool, I can’t be free!

Anna: You don’t have to be afraid.

Elsa: No escape from the storm inside of me!…I can’t control the curse….there’s so much fear…

Anna:…we can change this winter weather, and  everything will be all right.

Elsa: I can’t!!!

See? She can’t. There are probably other examples. If you’ve ever been so frustrated with someone who keeps backing down from challenges, even though they know they shouldn’t, they are probably afraid. If you have that problem, then you’re afraid of something. It’s okay, we’ve all been afraid.

But it’s not okay to live in fear. I think everyone would agree with me on this except people on TV. Have you noticed how popular it is to give in to fear on Television? It’s considered funny. People pass it off that way because they aren’t willing to try to be great. So they make mediocrity humorous. This is not to be cruel to people in the entertainment industry, most of them do it because it’s what is expected of them.

I was miserable as a fearful person. But I did not wake up one day and decide I would be brave. In fact, when I came to the breaking point, bravery was far from my mind. When I became a Christian, I had no thought of being brave. To be honest, I mostly felt sorry for myself, because its not like it was my fault I was cowardly. But there was just a little tiny part of me that finally said “Something is more important than fear.” At the time that something was not going to hell.( It’s a long story.) Since then I’ve decided other things are worth more than safety. But even one thing is enough to get you started. God does the rest.

The choice part comes in when you get scared again and have to keep making progress. It’s never your own power, it is only letting yourself be led.

This may sound nuts to anyone who does not believe in God. But I don’t believe there is another cure for chronic fear and worry syndrome. I will say that people have helped me as well, but you always have to be willing to open up to them enough so that they can help you. Worry is like any other addictive substance, it’s hard to kick, but once you do, you don’t want to go back. Here’s to being worry free!

Natasha

A stand?

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Whew! Election day is finally past. I’m not against elections, but all of them cannot have been as intense as this one was. I’m not unhappy with the results, but  I won’t go into that, I’m fairly certain everyone who reads my blog can guess my political positions. Anyway, what’s concerning me more is what to do now. Even when the person you wanted is elected, it’s not like some magic spell is going to suddenly give you a chance to do something with it.

I keep seeing and hearing about protests.

I remember when I was a few years younger, I might react like that.

It’s easy to react, and maybe the protesters honestly think they can help something by raising their voice.

I think that poses the more interesting question here. It would be easy to just shake my head at their antics, but what if they have a point? Isn’t it a free country?

This is where it gets more complicated. I like to say that freedom is not freedom without responsibility. A phrase I came up with to sum up my belief that unless you guard yourself, you’ll soon become enslaved to something, even if you don’t realize it. Like the words “I know I need to stop, but…” It’s denial. I support freedom in any area of life, but only if it’s used responsibly.

It’s a question I have to deal with a lot as I transition from minor to adult. What is just sass and disrespect, and what is a legitimate issue that I need to be more in control of if I’m going to learn. I don’t believe there’s an easy answer, because every situation is different when it comes to this. But I have some guidelines.

  1. If I am just raising my voice in anger, and fear, then it is not a stand; it is a plea. It may be a legitimate plea. I think people should be willing to listen to pleas, there may be a real neglect or abuse happening and it needs to be rectified. But, a plea does not deserve to be treated like a principle. A plea is, usually, simply what you, the plea-er, want. It’s not bad to get what you want on occasion, if it’s a good thing , but if you act like what you want is a law of life for the people around you, then they will laugh at you. And rightly so, because not a single one of us deserves that kind of preference
  2. Have I checked my facts? If what you are taking a stand on is something your really know nothing about, beyond what people have told you, the chances are you’ve been misinformed. The people I respect the most have sometimes given me faulty information, not intentionally , but because they were given false information, and so the story goes on. Even the best sources can have an incomplete picture so it’s good to go to more than one. I just had such an experience this past week.
  3. Am I considering the good of all? In  the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, one of them is “Think win–win.” It means you need to think about what’s best for everyone, yourself included, so that no one gets shortchanged. If we don’t practice this habit, someone is always oppressed, or just plain exhausted. Find things you can agree on with the other party.

If all these fail it may be the time to realize that not everything is worth making a fuss over. Some millennials are never told this, and some, like me, are told it but still have to really struggle to get it ingrained. It took me a long time to develop  thicker skin, I hope it takes other people less time. I am a sensitive person, but I’ve learned that I can’t use that as an excuse to get down every time someone does something I don’t like. And the miracle is, once you stop letting it get you down, often you stop noticing it period.

Since I’m running long, I’ll stop this here. If you have anything to add be sure and comment. I know I need this if nothing else. So maybe some meditation would behoove us all. Catch you later–Natasha.

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Bridge the gap.

Still have it.

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“…But I know in my soul that no matter how bad it gets, I’ll be all right.

There’s hope in front of me, there’s a light I still see it, there’s a hand still holding me, even when I don’t believe it.

I might be down but I’ not dead, there’s the best still up ahead.

Even after all I’ve seen, there’s hope in front of me.

There’s a hope still burning, I can feel it rising through the night,

and my world’s still turning.

I can feel your love here by my side, You’re my hope…”

This goes out to all my readers, on election day, on every day. We still have a hope.

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope,” Jerimiah 29:11.

3-forest“…I still have hope, you are my hope.” ( Hope in front of me, Danny Gokey.)

–Natasha

 

The time to be careful

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I’m not big on telling people to be overly cautious, I think taking risks is necessary. but personally I’ve realized lately that there is one are in life where you just can’t be too careful. And that is in what you let into your mind.

That probably surprised no one. But I’m serious. Homeschoolers are famously cautious, sheltered, and out of touch with the popular trends. At least I am, I was the kid in youth group who always had to ask what something was that everyone else knew about like it was their life story. Paradoxically, I always knew the answers to bible-related questions, or I’d read the spiritual boo, or heard of the preacher, or whatever. if you know any scenarios like this yo know that basically makes you the smart one who is socially challenged.

Now, I freely admit that over the years I’ve changed, I watch a lot more popular stuff, and I’m familiar with more trends, and that’s fine because I’m not from another planet for crying out loud. But there is a price that comes with it. If you are not a sheltered person than you may never have known the shock of learning for the first time what abortion is. Or the statistics on teen suicide, or sex, or violence. I wasn’t teased about being different till I was 13 at least.  I also didn’t realize that cynicism was a thing, even in my own family, until I was 12 I think. What I’m trying to say is, I’ve actually had a first time for all this stuff, I didn’t grow up being aware of it. And that does have an affect on you.

What it has to do with the mind is pretty clear. I am much more concerned with the state of my inner self than I think I would be if I’d grown up exposed to all these other problems at a young age. I regard how clean my mind is as crucial to how heathy I am as a person. That means that nothing is minor. There is no such thing as a harmless bad idea. There is only the bad stuff you can overlook, and the bad stuff you can’t. But it’s there and it has to be taken into account. This is how I’ve always thought and it was a surprise to me that it’s a pretty rare view of things. It’s funny that the same people who complain about apathy will brush off the need to be careful in what you put into your mind. I mean, do we really think they aren’t connected?

I find everyone usually agrees with me to this point, until I name a specific source that they happen to like, then I generally hear this:

“But I know it’s not real.”

“I’m not like the person who did so and so because they got the idea from a movie.”

“But I like it.”

Of course, more recently, I also get the less defensive and more aggressive claim that I’m just nutty for minding this stuff.

Well, I could be. Certainly if no one cares what’s in their mind , I sound crazy for caring  a lot.

But as soon as I started thinking this way, I immediately had problems with my mind going places I didn’t want it to go. And trying to accept ideas that I strongly disagree with. Nit because I’m any the more convinced they are correct, but because there is social pressure to accept certain beliefs, we all know that. But What if you don’t want to accept them? Why would you weaken yourself?

This is the thing, I don’t go to school or work (yet.) So if I can feel pressured just by media sources and books I read, how much more can the rest of us who are surrounded by other people who don’t believe as we do. I don’t advocate avoiding people who think differently, but I do advocate taking stock of your own thought life.

there are a few good questions to ask yourself.

  1. Have my beliefs changed over the years?
  2. If so, which ones and why?
  3.  And how did they change, was I convinced, did I get a revelation? A moment of clarity? Or was it a slow change because of what everyone around me thought.

I don’t want to sound too preachy. This doesn’t apply just to religion. It can apply to your image, your relationship expectations, your dreams and goals, and you character. And since I care deeply about those things, I have to be concerned with what I feed my mind. And that’s all I’m going to say for now. I’m pushing 800 words as it is.

until next time–Natasha.