“You can be the outcast and be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love; or you can start speaking up. Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way the words do when they settle underneath your skin. Kept on the inside, with no sunlight ,sometimes the shadow wins. I wonder what would happen if you…”

This is really a part two of my last post on words, but today I’m addressing what to do when someone else is not careful with their words to us.

This songwriter had a clue. Somebody’s lack of love can backlash into hurt, insecurity, and bitterness. But, it does not have to. There is an or. This singer also provides us with the reason the shadow wins sometimes. Trapping these words on the inside with no light makes them ferment and rot away the good stuff. We call it internalizing. Permit me to read into these lyrics a bit more than perhaps they meant. Sunlight is natural, strong, and healthy. It warms and gives life to the earth. When we shut it out we weaken and are easily broken and depressed. We turn pale. So it is with bad words. If they stay inside us, and we shine no reality (or truth to be specific) on them, they’ll make us unhealthy. In mind and body. It’s scientific fact. Maybe you even know someone the shadow won with. I have a friend who’s boyfriend committed suicide (I think I’ve mentioned it before) he was already in a mental hospital I believe. Not a bad guy; we have hope he is in a better place. But to be that depressed. Nowadays it’s not difficult to be depressed. Poor nutrition is part of it. Also psychotropic drugs (prescribed for mental disorders) damage the brain more. They are directly related to high school shootings. These disorder come from thinking toxic words over and over again. (Look up Dr. Caroline Leaf for more on this subject.) You see, you literally make the words a part of you. The good news is this can be completely reversed and rebuilt. Shine sunlight on these thoughts and expose them for what they are. Then there’s the next step:

“Everybody’s been there; everybody’s been stared down by the enemy.  Falling for the fear; done some disappearing; bow down to the mighty. Don’t run. Stop holding your tongue. Maybe there’s a way out of this cage where you live; maybe one of these days you can let the light in–and show me how big your brave is!”

May I quote Granpabby (of course I can, this is my blog): “Fear will be your enemy.” It will. It is.

F.D. Roosevelt said this in his inaugural address: “Nothing to fear but fear itself.”

Fear stares us down every time we try to step out of our comfort zone. (READ: cage.) Fear is called an instinct, but to so many of us it takes the shape of words.

“What will they think?”

“What if I fail?”

“If only there wasn’t this factor.”

“I wish I could, but I know I can’t.”

“I couldn’t handle it.”

“This might happen.”

Fear leaves rationality far behind once we believe these words. Fear seems mighty; I know better than anyone. Fear is a cage you can see, and the door is open. The sad thing is, fear keeps you in anyway. But even fearing fear is still being  afraid. We can’t even have this fear if we want out. So how to kick it? (For fear is the most powerful of addictions.) I know how hard this is. But stare it back. Don’t run. And stop holding your tongue. Say the truth; say what you believe. Or what you want to believe. (Note: If this doesn’t work you probably believe the wrong thing.) Fear is beaten back with the light of truth. For me this is always found in the name of Jesus. I cannot see any other way. I’m told even self-talk helps. It didn’t help me much, but if you aren’t in as deep as I was it will likely work for you.

Frozen really told the world the truth. Perfect love casts out fear. Granpabby is an example of those people who’ll tell you your problem but never how to solve it. Elsa gave up trying. Anna wouldn’t, and that was the difference. I’m glad at the end of the film Elsa let the light in. And love enables us to do it. Love is what takes away the hurt of words because love transcends words. It may be the only thing that can. Someone can say in love what they could never say flatly without hurting you. Love motivates us to be considerate. (True love. I know sometimes natural love does not. If you know this too, believe me I feel for you.) Love makes courage, but it also takes courage. God will pour it into you, but it’s your choice to let it out. (This is how Elsa spread Summer back over Arindelle by lifting off the fear.) So, in the words of the song, show how big your brave is. If you are brave enough to face your problems, you are brave enough to conquer them, whether you feel it our not. It is a choice. Only you can hold yourself in that cage.

“Ever since your history of silence, won’t do you any good. Didn’t think it would.”

I warn you, silence on your part is not safe. Only some dangers look safer than others to us. Locking yourself in a castle of ice (even if it is a castle) is no safer than wandering a frozen lake in a storm.  A castle just looks safer. Can I reassure you God is on your side the minute you try to do the right thing? You may not believe this, but it is so. Even when you’re yelling at Him for being unfair, He is on your side if you’re doing it to some purpose. (I am not saying that’s okay by the way, only that it’s better than defiance.) Though I think He may be amused at our lack of understanding because I’ve had my moments of that, and it always turns out I was missing something. Anyway, my point is that telling someone our fears is a huge step towards defeating them, as is telling the fear off. And praying about it.

“Let your words be anything but empty. Why don’t you tell him the truth.”

Once you’ve faced your own enemy it’s time to help other people face theirs. I hope you’ve had help; if you haven’t, find it. But after that be the help. Be what you wish you’d had sooner. There is one more ingredient to healing, but I’ll cover it in the next post.

Honestly, I want to see you be brave. And so do so many others you don’t know about. So word up folks. (Word Girl reference.) Hope you enjoyed–Natasha.

Yeah, I didn’t do a Christmas post because I figured there’s plenty of those out there. But here’s a happy new year from Natasha.

Prospero ano y felicidad. (Happy and prosperous year.)

May it be a year of grace and new beginnings and the fulfillments of dreams. Everything we hope for in a new year.

“A time to gain and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to throw away; a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak.” Eccl 3:6-7

I’ve talked about keeping and throwing away before. And tearing and sewing. But I’ll briefly mention them.

Let’s look at clutter. Clutter is anything with no obvious or immediate use that lies around taking up space. The trouble with clutter is that it takes up good storage space. And when we get new thing we have no where to put them and they become more clutter. Kind of a cycle. Clutter often represents old dreams. That tool we’ve always wanted to use; that dish we’ve always wanted to try; that place we’ve always wanted to go; that book we’ve always meant to read. The sheer accumulation of stuff is exhausting, till one doesn’t even want to think about it. Well, then it’s time to decide what you will keep and what needs to be thrown away. I’m naturally a pack rat, so it’s a challenge to throw away anything I ever might use. But one just has to bear down on it after procrastinating for too long. Dreams are great, aired out and re-examined as Anne of Avonlea said.

Of course, tearing out old threads and sewing things back up applies to any range of things.

But on the note of keeping let me turn to another subject–our thought lives.

I think a writer has a unique perspective on thought. Because, at least in my case; we leave our thought everywhere. Put on paper, my thoughts can get carried all over my house, left on furniture or on the kitchen counter. In my room it often looks like a tornado met a stack of paper. This, however, means my thoughts are disorganized. It’s quite a poignant metaphor for actual thinking. If our minds were a house, our thoughts would often be all over the place, and in the wrong place. Important ones might be on the floor, why secondary lists of things would be on the wall. I need better organization. Often the trouble is we don’t take the time to organize; at other times there is just no place to put stuff.

When organizing my papers, I find old ideas I don’t need anymore, plans I can’t carry out, and even nasty blowing-off-steam writings that I just threw out. Making more room for important stuff. I’ll find old dream and goal lists. I’ll find gifts from other people or I’ll find stories I wrote that I can improve upon.

If we just took a few minutes a day to examine our own thoughts in the same way, we’d be surprised at the trash–and treasure–we would find. Hint: The best way is to catch a thought as it comes and either think it through or discard it immediately. Purposely.

And readers, the time to speak is coming; or perhaps it is at hand now. I am tired of silence. Not pure silence. Peaceful silence. No I want that. I am tired of scared, or guilty, silence. The silence of people who have been thoroughly cowed. It is time to shut up about what we want and what bothers us; and instead speak about what we need and what is wrong and must be stopped.

“A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;” Ecclesiastes 3:4

Of course I’m excited about this post. This is right up my alley. But I’m not always laughing or dancing for all that.

Last week was Thanksgiving week, and that brought some things to mind for my family. We have a lot to be grateful for; business has picked up, and we have our friends and of course our faith has grown this year. I loved spending the Wednesday before with my two cousins who I only get to see every so often and that next month I’ll get to see my other cousins who I only see twice a year.

 Today I also found out a girl with a YouTube channel I watch was in a bus crash last week. (Her channel is called Katie Gregiore) She seemed okay but a little emotional about it. It’s true life is short. Morbid as this sounds, a few years ago I didn’t even know if I’d make it to 2015. People thought the world would end in 2012. Well of course here we all are. But life is not less precious because we have more of it. Life does not equal time. Perhaps you already know that, maybe you’ve spent the holidays without people close to you. Maybe you’ve had a rough year. It’s not a sin to cry on a holiday or use it as a day to remember people who made a difference in your life.

There is a time to mourn and a time to weep:

Actually it can be quite a relief to hear that it’s okay to feel sad and to grieve loss. The way I see it this verse is speaking three different ways.

1. To all the people who do nothing but mope about their troubles: stop it! There is a time for that, but it’s a season, and depending on the loss a few weeks or a few years, and it’s time to move on. Not to be unsympathetic or anything, losing something you can’t replace will always hurt, but hurt doesn’t have to be the center of your life and it shouldn’t be. Cry, be angry, talk it out; but do not pitch your tent on the hill of sorrow.
2. To the people who never face their troubles. Or who drown them in merriment and parties and busyness, until you go numb: This is almost worse than burying yourself in sadness because it means losing a part of you that is the key to you health in soul and body. It’s okay to “crash and break down” and be human, so long as you don’t switch to blaming other people for it.
3. To the people who haven’t faced sorrow or trouble yet: There is a balance to maintain between you negative and positive thoughts and emotions. better to know it now then find it out after trouble comes and mishandle it badly.

There is a time to laugh and a time to dance:

I have heard that we should celebrate things in our lives, ourselves, other people, personal and public victories. Whether celebrating means throwing a party, dancing around your house with the blinds shut, or just giving yourself a much needed or wanted break; I think it sounds wonderful. Or celebrate other people by telling them you care about them. If you’re like me and words are awkward try gifts or doing little things for them or spending time with them even if it’s something you don’t enjoy. It is perfectly okay to do this, and with the holidays coming up what better time to start making a practice of it. You may not have relatives you look forward to seeing but let’s face it the holidays are not about you, they are always about doing things for other people.

THANKS + GIVING= A holiday . Holidays are celebrated for the purpose of being glad for good things. To give thanks means to think, speak ,and act grateful for our blessings. However many or however few we have.

So with the good things and the bad, the happy and the sad, I hope you enjoy the holidays this year.

Have a great time!–Natasha