Inspired

How I became a rebelutionary

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I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this, at least not at length, but I am something that’s known as a Rebelutionary.

It’s not a word, you say. Well, not yet, but it will be. It’s already being used by a lot of teens. I can even define the root word.

Rebelution: 1. A teenage rebellion against low expectations. 2. A rebellion that is also a revolution. (Take the Revolutionary War for example.)

Okay, so why am I telling you this? Well, because it’s an interesting story. As I was telling some friends of mine just last week, until I was around 13, I didn’t start reading a lot of those inspirational books you might have guessed I read now. My mom read them, she even encouraged me too, but I tried and I just wasn’t ready.

I still remember the first time I opened the first one of these books, called “Do Hard Things.” I was sitting on the landing of the house we used to live in. I remember even then I was caught by the tag line of the book:

Most People don’t expect you to understand what we’re gong to tell you in tis book. And even if you understand they don’t expect you to care. And even if you care they don’t expect you to do anything about it. And even if you do something about it, they don’t expect it to last.  WE DO.

Boom! I was hooked. Yet I wasn’t at the point where I did care the first time. As a kid I always knew I wanted to do something big, but I didn’t feel it was time or that I was ready. Or old enough. Finally, at 12-13, this started to make more sense. even before then, I was challenged by books such as these, but at 13,I actually began thinking I could take action about it.

Did something huge happen? Yes…and no.

I am definitely the type of person who gets an idea and runs with it. I now have learned to  control that because otherwise I go off half cocked because I don’t take time to calm down and think things through. That was the problem, I would read a book, and love its message, but I would be frustrated when, as a homeschooled, small circled, barely young adult, I lacked the resources or know how to do any of the things I thought sounded cool.

See, I loved the part about being able to accomplish great things, I didn’t get the part where it was actually hard.

And what ended up being hardest for me was waiting.

I had to wait and wait and wait.

So, when did I become a rebelutionary?

Well, it turns out, waiting isn’t actually exclusive of that lifestyle. God’s plan ends up being different for everyone. It turns out that I had a lot of things I needed to learn on my own time, that would have been major problems if I’d rushed into doing a lot of big things. I’ve blogged about some of those things.

Also, I did try to accomplish things, even from my limited space. I was always better at seeing the problems around me than right in front of me. Unfortunately, I was not so good at knowing how to solve them.

You see, it turns out I lacked the people skills to solve problems. simply because I was not around other people often enough, and when I was I suffered from shyness. I got more passionate about things, but I didn’t knw how to express it. I shudder when I remember some stupid mistakes I made. Not stupid, actually, just inexperienced.

Now, it wasn’t totally my fault, I did the best I could on what I did know. Nobody ever showed me how to do better. They told me to, but they never demonstrated what that looked like. I write this to say if you’re going to try to help someone, actually help them. No one likes to be told to improve by  a person who doesn’t follow their own advice.

I think my lack of mentorship actually demonstrates the problem, the reason “Do Hard Things” was written. When I became one of the people rebelling against low expectations, naturally the first obstacle I ran into was–Low Expectations.

I could meet the expectations of the church in my sleep. Literally. All I had to do to impress people was repeat what I’d heard a bajillion times, keep my mouth shut the rest of the time, and play nice with the other kids. even when I failed at that last one, I was still a good kid. My parents trained me well, and I’m glad they did. But my parents ever meant for it to end there, and it baffled me that other adults couldn’t seem to care less whether I wanted to accomplish more or not. Since I was already in shape, they focused on the people who weren’t.

Why? I didn’t know, I think they thought it was their job. Me? I was fine. I’d be okay.

Well, I eventually decided I’d just have to lead myself. No one else was gonna do it.

If you want to hear the rest of the story, read my next post, but this one is already plenty long.

Until Part 2–Natasha.

SAMSUNG CSC

Reach higher.

A sad farewell

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This is a post in commemoration of something that may only matter to me personally.

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Light up the stars

 Girl Meets World has been cancelled.

If you never watched it you probably don’t care, and I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t either.

Now, unlike a lot of fans, I’m not broken up about it. I have to confess that a lot of the more recent episodes had begun to turn me off because they were so repetitive. But I believed the writers could climb out of their rut. Now they may not get the chance.

Plus the final episodes were really good, and I almost was moved to tears by them. I could relate plenty to the idea of leaving places and people you love to go separate ways. All the fans feel like they didn’t get their fair share  of the show, since it only ran three seasons instead of the expected four.

Well it’s Disney channel’s right to cancel whatever they want. But I will say without bias (since I used to watch Disney Channel before Girl Meets World existed and I didn’t like most of the shows. I barely liked any,) the it is the best show I’ve ever seen on the channel, and one of the best shows for kids I’ve seen period.

I think Girl Meets World is worth remembering for one reason. though it had it’s flaws, it was clear to all of us watching that the writers (and actors) cared about their audience. Whether we agreed with them or not, we knew they had the guts to challenge us. And to talk to us about mature subjects that even adults struggle with, and yet in a way high schoolers could relate to, whether you’re homeschooled, private schooled, or public schooled.

Without being inappropriate, this show managed to be serious and also funny. It didn’t do it perfectly, but it didn’t have to. We could tell they were trying, and that made up for the errors most of the time. Even when it didn’t, we still gave the next episode a shot because we knew they could outperform themselves.

Frankly, the young actors on that show could be proud of being on it. And I can’t say that about a lot of kids’ shows.

The fact that this show was cancelled at all demonstrates to me and every other fan, that the producers actually couldn’t care less about what we learn and if they are improving out lives. The total crud they are endorsing season after season because it gets better ratings….? Why?!!

I’ll tell you why. Money. And the fact that our culture does not hold anyone in the industry up to any kind of standards for making good quality material. As long as it’s not sex, drugs, or alcohol, and no one’s getting murdered, it’s a kid show.

Read that last sentence again. What are we coming to? Girl Meets World, silly as it sounds, was a beacon of hope to a lot of us that maybe some people out there cared.

You see, we’re realistic, we know that despite whatever we think is healthy, millions of kids will watch TV. Whether they should or not. So the best thing we can hope for is that the shows on there will actually be promoting good morals. Good experiences.

Instead we see a lot of humor that involves behaving like an animal or an emotionally unstable human being. A lot of kids are imitating that. I have. (I know better now, I hope.)

TV may never make you smarter, but it could still be a good influence on you if we wanted it bad enough. But why should entertainment have a point? Or why should it have a good point?

The point of a lot of shows is to make fun of us. The viewers. And to mock us. And to desecrate the most important things in life. And we let them. Because it’s a joke.

I’m being a  bit hard on us because this bugs me a lot. I’ve seen and dealt with TV addiction firsthand, and I know what it did to me. It won’t physically show, but you mind is more important than your body. (Hear me Millenials? Don’t believe the magazine covers.)

I’m running long so I’m going to conclude. But I’m challenging whoever reads this to consider what our standards should be. I know that big flashing screen is hypnotizing, I dal with it every day. But I also know you can walk out of the room. You can quit. And you can make decisions now about what your kids will be allowed to take into their minds. and whether or not you even need a TV in your house.

I just want you to think about it. Over ant out–Natasha.

I’ve been waiting for a day like this to come, struck like lightning, my heart’s beating like a drum, on the edge of something wonderful.

Face to face with changes, what’s it all about? Life is crazy, but I know I can work it out, ’cause I’ve got you to live it with me.

I feel all right like I could take on the world! Light up the stars I got some pages to turn. Singing whoa-o-o. I got a ticket to the top of the sky, I’m coming up I’m on the ride of my life! Whoa-o-o.

Take on the world. Take on the world. Take on the world!

 

Proudly Unpopular–Part 3

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Still continuing the discussion of unpopularity. I used to find being popular and appealing thing, even if I never thought it was something to revere. Now I think it would be exhausting to be popular. I’d rather have a few friends who really care about me and get me, than a bunch who I only hang out with for fun.

But being widely liked is nice. I’m one of those fortunate people who is liked by most who meet her, but I don’t know if that means much, other than I polite and well brought up by my parents.

To be widely liked you just have to meet certain expectations, and not fulfill other ones. If people expect someone my age to be obsessed with their image, always on some electronic, never interested in learning or real conversation, then when I don’t fulfill those expectations, they are pleasantly surprised, usually. Or they assume I’m just under fed on technology and they need to give me access to it. (? I don’t get that.)

This principle of popularity, or at least approval, doesn’t just apply to my life of course. It applies to everything. People have expectations about ideas, faiths, clothing, food, music, everything they care about. and if you just tap into those expectations, you can sellalmost anything.

If someone expects the worst of a lawyer for instance, all you have to do to convince them lawyers are dishonest is to point out one example, or point out something that looks dishonest to them if/because they don’t know the actual law, and boom! Their expectations are confirmed.

Now stay with me, this is part of unpopularity too.

The ideas that guide our culture our its most popular ideas. They aren’t popular because they are good, per sec, but because people have expectations they want fulfilled, and the trendsetters of our culture understand that and play to it.

Take movies. The adult ones are now, for the most part, sex obsessed; violence packed; and full of other ugly or profane things that seem to sell nowadays. Why do they sell? We just expect that from movies now. It doesn’t shock us anymore, and we continue to buy into it, so it shocks us less and less, until our culture has deemed it totally acceptable to allow those things.

To prove my point further, did you know words like “damn” and “hell” used to be never even used as interjections in polite company, around children, and certainly not in books, unless used by a character you were supposed to despise. Men perhaps used them when they were together and working, it was called “rough language.” Why, “heck” used to be as bad as “hell” is now. What happened? I haven’t researched it, but I’ll bet you a lot changed when movies started allowing those words in more and more often, and younger people started watching them, and eventually it stopped being shocking. in my own life, I never heard bad words (that I recognized as such) until I was older than 12. Then for some reason, people stopped censoring themselves around me. I still don’t use curse words, but it got a lot harder the more it seemed like no one else cared about it except me and my mother and siblings.

Multiply that times thousands of people and you get a culture shift. I don’t think words are really the issue, and honestly, neither is violence. Not in of themselves. The problems that the idea of what violence is, and what curse words represent, got to be more and more acceptable.

You know what’s acceptable now? Living a life of bitterness and hatred, and being haunted by a troubled past. That’s what movies and shows are promoting now. Always from the cool, but aloof good guys, whom you really like, but they are always unhappy. And what usually starts to fix them? Sex. Or they go off the deep end and start killing people.

Why do we like this now? Could it be because we started letting things like cursing someone for driving too slowly; or cursing someone in front of our kids; and releasing all our negativity on people who really didn’t deserve it, become okay? Could it also be that we kept saying the violence on TV was either not real (if you’re the type who feels better if it’s fake;) or like real life (if you’re the type who feels smart when you’re doing something that’s realistic;) and so eventually the violence that actually happens just  seems life  apart of life.

I’m as guilty of feeling this way as anyone. But I don’t like it. I don’t want to embrace it. It’s funny, the people I know who are apt to excuse the garbage on TV as being fake, tend to think I take things too seriously; but the people who talk about it being realistic, think I’m sheltered. Maybe some of you other bloggers can relate. (One reason we all like blogging is that we can express our real opinion without someone we know assuming they already know it, right?)

So, my way of seeing things is definitely unpopular. Even more so because the majority of the culture would side more with the idea that the stuff we condone as “harmless“ is really harmless. It’s not like we’re part of the problem, right? We just go and see the new movies because we’re curious. We don’t have to buy them all. (Heavy sarcasm.)

You get what you expect. But here’s the thing, I actually suspect that a lot of us are frustrated with the low standards. We go along with it, but deep down we wish we had better options. maybe we do and we just don’t utilize them because it’s easier to go along with everyone’s else’s standards. So you see what I mean? Ideas are either popular or unpopular. The question I’m posing is will we choose to be proudly  unpopular.

It’s a tough call, there’s lot of pressure to just go with the flow of the culture. Go see the next Star Wars Movie, check out that new show, rely on your phone apps to amuse you and do everything for you from photography to studying. It’s not like everything has to be quality right?

Wrong. At least I think so. Well, this is too long already, so adios. I think I’ll be doing one more installment in this series, so catch me next time–Natasha.

Proudly Unpopular–Part 2

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In my last post I began talking about popular ideas, and I still had more to say, so I thought I’d make it a two-parter.

I established already my problem with what’s popular nowadays in my post Popular Stupidity. There’s plenty more to say about that. But something else has been on my mind lately.

As you all know, I’m a Christian. And sometimes I get a little preachy on this blog, because I am passionate about what I believe. Some of you may forgive me for it, some of you may not. This is not an apology. Anyway, if you’ll permit me to go off on a personal tangent, I’d like to talk about some of the misconceptions about Christianity that I notice people have.

Just to be fair, I will admit here that I had misconceptions about things Muslims believe that were altered when I read more about them. So, any faith can be misrepresented.

My main concern about western Christianity is that it’s gotten lost in the mumbo jumbo of pluralism.

Pluralism: A theory that there is more than one basic substance or principle.

I was watching a YouTube video that other day, talking about belief among other things, and I was unpleasantly shocked when I read in the comment section below people talking about the beliefs expressed in the video (and the material it was discussing) being “Obviously Christian.” This is why I was shocked. The views in question were that the Universe wants us to do the right thing, that Life knows what it’s doing, that  there is no right and wrong answer, etc.

All stuff I’ve heard before, but, it’s not Christian.

I fully expect my beliefs to be misrepresented by people who don’t hold them, and I’m not going to throw a hissy fit ever time they are. The problem this time was that people were calling something that was nowhere near Christianity “obviously Christian.”

I’ve probably already turned you off by starting a religious rant, you might say “just get over it.” And, hey, I will. But this isn’t about me.

You see, just because someone expresses a belief in a higher power on the air, does not make them a Christian. Even remotely. But the even bigger problem I have with it is that people actually think Universalism is compatible with Christianity.

Universalism: The doctrine that emphasizes the universal fatherhood of God, and the final salvation of all souls.

Universalism bears a slight resemblance to Christianity, in that it has a deity that directs us, and wants to see us all saved. Saved in what way I don’t know. I don’t know very much about the specifics of the belief, if it can be specific.

Let me say this clearly, Christianity does not teach that God is the Universe, or that all souls will be saved.

A clear contradiction of Universalism. Don’t get mad at me yet, I haven’t said which is better, only that there’s a difference.

A big difference. For one thing, if God actually was the universe, we, as part of the universe, would be a part of God, just by being born. Christianity teaches that we are not a part of God until we receive his son as our savior and our reborn. And then it is spiritual, not physical, as being part of the universe is.

For another, if all souls are saved, there is not need to be good, or to do right, or to seek truth, you are simply born into it.

I can see why this would be a very appealing substitute for Christianity. People may still hate it, but a lot fewer will, because it’s very inclusive, and a lot of different religions can identify with it.

Now to finally get to the unpopular part of this post. If you’re still reading by now, you must truly be interested, so thank you.

My Faith is not meant to be popular. If anyone who reads my blog hates it, that doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t even surprise me, because in our Bible, we are told “Don’t be surprised if the world hates you.” The world is anyone who is not a Christian, by the way. I’m sure people don’t like that Christianity is exclusive. Either you are one or you aren’t, if you aren’t; you’re lumped into the category of being in the “world.” I don’t judge you if you dislike that, it’s not a pleasant feeling.

But that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. What’s bad is when Christians ourselves lose sight of what it means to be not of the world but still in it. I don’t hate non-Christians, I don’t feel threatened by them.

Here’s the  thing, Hollywood and every other place movies and shows come from, I don’t care whether my faith is on the air or not. I care about the people watching. Millions of people, everyday, who won’t go to church because they can hear what it’s like from TV, and they know it’s not for them. Do you know why I’m angry? Because when people don’t know what they actually hate, and hate it anyway, that leads to the worst kind of prejudice. The kind that hurts the person who holds it more than the objects of it, often enough.

Hate me for what I actually stand for, if you like, but not for what I don’t. The real Christian Faith, it’s unpopular. That’s why it’s not depicted correctly. People know their ratings will go down. But the shows aren’t what bug me, they’re just shows, what bug me are the ideas they spread that aren’t accurate. That goes for any idea, not just ones about religion.

Call me old fashioned, but I still believe accuracy is a huge factor in measuring the quality of something.

There’s still more to say about unpopularity, but I’ll stop for now. Thanks for reading, until next time–Natasha.

Proudly Unpopular–Part 1

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So,  a little fun fact about the past century: Though popularity has existed as long as civilization, the adjective Popular really became itself in the last hundred years or so. I think we’ve all seen the movies of the last couple of decades that focused on the pros and cons of being popular or achieving popularity.

There’s nothing wrong with those movies per sec, but I’m beginning to think they’re  a little outdated. Although I’m sure popularity is still a big motivator for people,  what we’re hearing about now, and being held up to, is Self Expression.

Frank B. Gilbreth once lamented that because kids wanted to be popular so much, they didn’t care about being smart or kind, or anything else. (Cheaper By the Dozen.)

Well, we should be glad that our culture has embraced new values, right?

You all knew that was a trick question. So I’ll say upfront that I don’t at all wish for a return to the obsession with popularity. That always stuck me as shallow, and a lot of movies still clichely make the popular people not at all relatable, or even like real people. (What surprises me is really that only us younger generations seem to think that’s a bad representation of them.) But I wonder, have we really lost our obsession with popularity?

The thing about embracing it, was, that it was honest. One freely admitted that they considered the approval of others the most important factor of life. And whether that was applauded or disdained, we were all on the same page. Now, however, popular ideas, opinions, and styles are no longer seen as what they are.

Let me elucidate. What I mean is, a popular idea is one held by a large portion of your society, maybe the majority, or one of the majorities. It is not usually a political idea, because those are more official, it’s more the background for political ideas. Popular thinking is nearly always framed as being a new way. (Though it used to be the old way was more popular, but that’s another story.)

Okay, so here’s my main point. We, as a people, have not actually ceased to conform to popular ideas. We just call it something else.

If you only casually observed our culture, you might think that our newer generations think more for themselves than the previous ones did. After all, we’re always talking about what our personal beliefs are; making up our own minds; following our own heart, or path, or road. (Pocahontas or Moana anyone?) But I dare to say this is all parrot talk.

There are no new ideas, just new names for them. And we are not making our own way, we’re simply choosing which of the old ways to go. Unless you’ve taken a cue from  historical figures like Buddha or Mohammad, you haven’t actually founded your own personal religion. (I’m not disrespecting them or endorsing them, I’m just making a point.)

But that’s what we’re pushing for isn’t it? Everyone needs their own way. And every way is equal, every way is good and bad at the same time. Only it’s really good, or we wouldn’t be advocating it.

There could be a million religions out there, and only one of them would ever be the right one. That’s not because I’m a Christian, but because I think it’s simple logic, there is a Great Truth out there that every religion is searching for and claiming to identify with, one of them must be the closest to it, if they’re all different.

I think we’ve largely forgotten that the purpose of faith is to get closer and closer to the truth. And then to hold on to it.

Self Expression if good, as far as it goes. We need an interesting world. But let’s never forget that the reason we express ourselves is not to benefit ourselves.

We were each given a gift to that will make the world a better place. And it will point other people to the good and beautiful things in Life. If we aren’t doing that then we are misusing our gifts, and if it destroys us, that is why. Yes, Self Expression is good for you also. But only if you’re sharing it. Because otherwise, who will you express it to, and why?

I think that’s a lot to think about, (and this isn’t even a really long post for me,) so I’m going to end it here. Thanks for reading and until next time–Natasha.

A day in the life

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I spent yesterday at Disneyland.

Wahoo! Right?

Well, not so much. I didn’t exactly have a bad time, but I didn’t have a great time either. The reason I’m bringing it up is that I’m adding it to my list. I have an imaginary list of things I’ve done this year that were new and also scary or just hard. here’s a few:

  1. I went to another country.
  2.  I taught in Sunday School more than as just a one-time thing.
  3. I wrote a challenging saga about something I like, but found difficult to get onto paper.
  4.  I went to Disneyland with an almost total stranger.

Here’s how it went down. My aunt has a foreign exchange student living with her, and she wanted him to get the chance to see Disneyland. She thought I might like to go. And after some hesitation I agreed. It wasn’t a smooth ride, because then she wasn’t sure we’d actually do it, finally it was settled that we would. And yesterday she dropped us off there. Where I live it’s been almost unusually cold this month and it was freezing at Disneyland. (Were any of my readers there I wonder?) the place was packed. I’ve been four times before I think, and I don’t remember it ever being so packed, but I never went on a holiday. The line to get in and get tickets was over an hour’s wait of standing around. Then we finally got in, and started walking around. But we went on one ride total, and the lines were so long on the others that we both didn’t feel up to it. We were exhausted by then. We ended up leaving at around 5:00pm, though we were supposed to stay later than that. On top of this, I lost one of the two things I bought. And it was the thing I got for myself.

So, a total bust right?

But that’s not to say I totally regret it. I maybe did not have a good day, but that wasn’t the only point for me. I wanted to challenge myself.

I’m the type of girl who’s terrified of being around a guy, alone, for any length of time–let alone all day. Of course there were crowds, but that only makes you feel a little safer. But I did not spend the day feeling afraid. I felt bored, tired, sad, but not afraid. If you’ve read some of my previous posts about my life, you’ll know that’s a big thing for me.

I used to ruin every fun event I went to by being  a nervous wreck the entire time. I am by nature an introvert, but I used to have it on steroids. Until I was at home and safe, I wouldn’t relax. I literally felt ill every time I was in an unfamiliar situation. People knew I was shy, but they probably never guessed exactly how much agony I was in. Talk about painful.

But that’s a thing of the past. I almost can’t remember it anymore.  As bad as yesterday was, compared to how my life used to be, it was great. I went from hiding from new things to embracing them. As much as I could.

I still get nervous, but it doesn’t rule me anymore. That’s a day in my life, doing things I once was afraid to do, and doing them because I want to or need to. I don’t always look at it that way of course, but sometimes I just have to stop and look back to where I was and be glad I’m not there anymore.

You must have those moments too, I’d love to hear about them, until next time–Natasha