Read a book because you want to.
Life tips
Hearts ready to take Flight.
Saying something is one thing, doing it is another.
“I can easier teach twenty what were good to be done than be one of the twenty to follow mine own teaching.”–Portia, (The merchant of Venice.)
After talking about the problems of too much screen time, I figured I better be putting it into practice myself.
It’s funny, but whenever I refrain from one thing I seem to compensate with another. I guess there’s so much time to be filled and most of us don’t know what to do with it.
That’s the trouble with a free society, people like being told how to manage their time by other people, and the people in charge have their time managed simply by being in charge. I know few things harder on the mind than doing absolutely nothing. In fact, as I’ve noted since I was a little girl, there is no such thing as doing nothing. Unless you are dead. Life and death are states of being that you don’t have to try to bring about. (I mean not that you can’t cause your own death, but that once you are dead, your body at least is not doing anything.) If you’re reading this you must be alive, so of course I’ll talk about that.
I’m all for a free society. But Time is a commodity people don’t know how to handle well. My guess is because we can’t make it, or destroy it, only use it. If you make something you usually know what to do with it. But if someone else makes something, and you’ve never seen it before, then of course, you don’t know how to use it right off the bat.
All this to make a point. Knowing how to use your time well is not something we’re born with. And berating each other for it is really quite pointless; only experience teaches the use of time. Unless of course you can talk to the person who made it (Hi, God). But even then some things we never learn without experience.
So, most of us have had the experience that staring at a screen is a normal, somehow valid use of our time. But I won’t go into that again, since I just did. I think the real question is, what are our other options? What could possibly be more fun and more worthwhile and more relaxing?
I am continually frightened by older people recounting conversations with people of my age range. They say we can’t think, that we believe only what we’ve been told all our lives, and that we have only relative moral standards. And we are this way because of our schooling and our television. Schooling is a topic for another time, but the more I think about it, the more I realize how TV and movies did influence my acceptance of certain points of view. I think differently now, but until I hit my teens I really didn’t question it. I’m fortunate to have a family with strong values, so I wasn’t a ship without anchor, but I can imagine how much worse it must be for kids with no such anchor.
I’d say an excellent use of time is in getting more educated about things. Being willing to read books that present opposing views, or at least show all sides. (I just read Red Scarf Girl which was chock full of ideas I don’t agree with, but I enjoyed it.)
For us millenials sometimes learning just can’t happen until we unplug. I have a job babysitting some kids in my neighborhood, and at first all one of them seemed to do was play on an Ipad, except for brief intervals of playing with dolls or going outside, I kind of had to push her into it. Or we’d watch a movie, but while the older ones and I enjoyed it, the middle girl would get bored and go back to the Ipad. (Anyone else see the irony of that action?) This is a five year old. The worst of it is I let her do it sometimes because I was tired or wanted to do something else. My mom finally snapped me out of it last week by pointing out that I wasn’t paying enough attention to my charges. Yikes! But I decided to make a new rule, not electronics save for the purpose of texting their parents. At least for most of the days I’m there. I admit this is not easy to stick to. It feels like I have SO MUCH TIME.
But that’s just it. I have so much time. Time to play games, and read stories, and sing and dance, and watch the baby. Time to write a story. Time to tell a story. Time to actually learn about these kids. It’s not the work of a day or a week, but it can happen; because I can be present instead of just there.
This would be a good comments topic; what things in your life do you need more time for?
I won’t say I don’t get bored, but there’s other ways to deal with boredom. I still watch movies, but having less time to do it in means choosing more carefully. Often I’ll want to watch one movie one day and a few days later I don’t want to anymore. Now I sometimes pick movies that I think will help me with a project, or I just need to hear their message again. I guess what sums it up is the reason you do something is what makes the experience valuable.
With that I bid you ado until next time–Natasha.
Flashing lights and the buzz of speakers ( thoughts on the effect of televison.)
I got a much better response on my last post than I expected, so I will try to do a good job on this follow up. Which I was planning anyway.
I like to ignore statistics and go for what I see as the heart of a matter. I don’t believe numbers speak to very many people, to a lucky few perhaps.
I quoted a TV show in my last post, which was ironically about staying away from screens. But for once I felt the show did a good job of making its point and I was actually apt to consider its truth after watching. There are very few such shows that I’m aware of.
For an opening quote here’s this little tidbit by Raymond Shaw (The Manchurian Candidate.) “Have you noticed that the human race is divided into two distinct, irreconcilable groups? those who walk into rooms and automatically turn television sets on, and those who walk into rooms and automatically turn them off.” I can’t say I fall into either of these groups. We no longer have a TV in my house, but when we did I fell more into the second category. I really don’t like television.
It’s one thing to think it’s bad for you, it’s another to actually dislike something. But I do. I dislike it firstly because I feel dumber after I watch it for longer than a half hour. (I blame commercial breaks.) Secondly, because it gives me a headache. Thirdly, I have a deeper reason: I don’t like what it does to conversation. I have relatives who will never turn off the TV set if they can possible help it. In fact, that is the majority of my extended family. I have cousins younger than ten who’ve seldom sat in a room with the absence of flashing lights and the buzz of speakers. Younger than ten. I wasn’t allowed to watch things everyday till I was at least eleven, or if I went through a phase my mom stopped it in time. What bothers me is how normal the magic box seems to kids, how inseparable from life. I have true concern for this; I’m not just criticizing for the sake of criticism.
I believe the format of screen time is a problem, but I am coming to think more and more that it’s also the format of what is shown. When you watch episode after episode of disconnected material, with more disconnected material in the form of commercials, and worse, if you channel surf as many of us do, what is your mind supposed to make of it all? Our minds are designed for learning. They organize information, process it in various ways, store it, or discard it if it’s unimportant. The more the info makes sense, the better out minds learn something of substance. Reinforcement is crucial. So is building off what you’ve already learned. This being the case, a TV show that is random and disintegrated is very hard for your mind to make any sense of. It doesn’t know what you’re trying to learn, or how, or why. So it goes to sleep in a sense. (I have no proof of this except my own observations and what I’ve heard about brain memory and receptivity. I thought I should put a disclaimer.) Here’s the kicker, when you choose to fill your fun hours in this manner, all real learning becomes difficult and “work.” If it was just TV, we might recover, but now phones and ipads make this a constant part of our day.
We as adults and older teens have a choice, but kids don’t always. I don’t know if we realize that they’ve been taught to see screen time as necessary, normal, and a good way to please their parents by keeping quiet. For every adult complaining, there’s 2 or 3 kids who can’t understand why screen watching is a bad thing and not socially acceptable. In fact, I myself am guilty of sending mixed messages to kids about this. I have regrets for it.
Choice is the key. TV is not evil except in the hands of evil, whether an evil person or just an evil system that cripples kids. So, if we take TV back into our own hands, and sets some boundaries, we can redeem it.
Luckily, I have some experience in this area, so if you’re open, I can help.
Step 1: Remove yourself from temptation. “I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.”–Groucho Marx.
I made the stupid mistake in my early days of resisting the screen: I would sit in the same room as it. I still do this, but I’ve learned that giving myself something else to do is a huge determent to giving in. Whether it’s doing a puzzle, knitting, or going in my room and reading, writing, or turning on the radio so I can’t hear what’s being watched; any other thing to focus on that gets focus off what I’m missing.
Step 2: Get educated.
It really is amazing what the absence of distraction does for the interest. I guess we just get so desperate without a screen that we’ll go for anything. Try reading books. I find the more I read, the less important TV seems to me. Now to be fair, often books remind of a movie, but a movie is better assembled and can be wholesome, if only one is watched at a time. With long movies, intermission seems like a good idea to me now, just to get refocused. As I read, I change, as I change I care less about the culture’s opinions, so why would I watch things that were made only to spread those opinions?
Step 3: Get involved.
Why not spend more time talking to people. Some people only need a slight nudge to put down their phones and engage. Children may be harder or easier, it depends. But we all love it if someone really wants to talk to us, and if we had no texting, oh my gosh! Maybe we would want to talk to people! Join a group, take a walk, ask your neighbors over for dinner, go to church and volunteer for something, take a class. Check out your downtown areas. Go to a library.
“I thought we were gonna get television…but the truth is, television is going to get us.”–Dick Goodwin,
Please, don’t let it get you. We all need to fight it, because it is far more serious than we imagine.
Until next post– Natasha
Turn: Part 4
“A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.” Ecclesiastes 3:5
The idea of casting away stones in the bible seems akin to the practice of stoning (no not on drugs.) One of the worst forms of punishment for sin in the Old Testament. And gathering stone could refer to that as well. however The Preacher’s (Solomon) father King David used a sling in his early days to defend himself from threats. He would gather stones and then of course sling them away. Interestingly stones were also used to build altars to sacrifice to the Most High on. But laying aside biblical application for the moment, let’s think about what the action of gathering and casting away actually symbolizes: Preparation and action.
There is a time to prepare for meting out justice, defending you home, and purifying yourself; and then there is the time to stop preparing and actually do it. That goes for just about everything. Work, relationships, studying.
And upon mentioning relationships I come to the second half of the verse. Honestly. Being the homeschooled Christian that I am, I’ve mostly heard this verse used in context with Purity. Which is most certainly one application. But in my limited experienced embracing means much more than hormones. It requires trust to let someone touch you and to touch them. Even if it’s no more than a shoulder pat or a hand squeeze or the notorious side-hug. If you touch someone before they are ready you create unpleasantness in the relationship. And mistrust, if you persist long enough. But then again, sometimes people don’t know how much they need it. I’m serious, at my church hugging is the thing, and at first I felt awkward with it, but then I began to appreciate it. At least people thought of me enough for that even if they couldn’t say much by way of greeting. It’s not too hard to tell when someone is just uncomfortable and when they’re flat out disturbed.
And embracing is more than physical. There’s a time to open up inside, and a time to refrain from doing so because the other person is just not ready or able to return it. There’s a time to pull someone close, and a time to give them their space. There’s preparation for this too, Like courting or dating before getting engaged.
I’ve read that in the time of Christ, engagement consisted of a year of abstinence before official marriage, during that time the man would build a house and court the young woman; building her trust we can hope. I’ve read similar things about some tribes of native Americans. That the families would observe the couple individually to see if they were good workers and would make good companions for each other. It seems like a wise idea to me, preparing for commitment is kind of like standing on the edge of a diving board. You want to get into the right position and jump from the right place on the board and launch a perfect dive.
There are seasons in and of preparation and they are different for everyone. The important thing is to remember to exercise restraint and allow for time. And to give other people time as well. Don’t use the phrase “You’re holding out on me.” Preparation is the time to learn patience because like it or not, every season of life is preparing you for another. I like to think of it as going from glory to glory.
Be prepared for part 5, until then–Natasha
Turn: Part one
“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:”
I’m finally doing another multiple part-er because I’m writing about a topic I can’t do justice to in one stretch; and that is timing.
Time itself is the most elusive thing in our lives; we can’t stop or start it; we can’t save it or hold it still; we can’t see it. Because we control it so little, it is the most precious of our commodities and though people say that few of them understand it. I don’t myself. I can’t possibly fit all the time in the world into my head. I find myself time-bound and not by choice, and perhaps the reason we try to ignore it is simply because of that very fact. As Fern’s mother says in Charlotte’s Web, “I don’t like what I can’t understand.”
Nonetheless some understanding of time is necessary, and I don’t mean the physics of it. The beginning quote is from Ecclesiastes 3, and that’s what I’ll be using to launch my discussion of time.
I’d like to note the verses says “…every purpose under heaven.” Not in heaven. According to what I’ve read, there is a succession of events in heaven but no limitation. Eternity is literally time without limit. God is not bound to our time. This is important to know because I don’t want to imply things have to happen by deadlines and rigid schedules to be organized and valuable. That is utterly silly and not a faith based viewpoint at all. No, I mean what I’m going to call seasonal timing.
Ever work a seasonal job position? I have; it lasted not even two full months that I recall. It wasn’t that I was a bad worker or the boss was mean. I simply was no longer needed. Things in our lives that are seasonal are the ones we need for a while, but then the time comes when we no longer need it, and just like a plant, it dies away.
A job, a car, a book, an organization, a hobby, even a church; these are all things that can be temporarily the right thing for us, but then we outgrow them. Not every time. Some jobs are your life’s work, some organizations are your job, and you can find the church you should stay in forever. But if that is the case, you can be sure those things will change with time, otherwise we would get too comfortable. C. S. Lewis explains in more detail in The Screwtape Letters about the parallel of change and consistencies, his own example(s) include that we have four seasons every year, but each season is different. And serves a different purpose I might add. Which will neatly bring me to my next point.
“A time for every purpose…”
Every season has a purpose in teaching us life lessons. Having this blog is a seasonal thing, and I recognize that it teaches me to be a better writer; I can hope my articles will help someone else out in their seasons, but at least I know it is doing one person good. Therefore, it has a purpose. Purpose is one of the most important words in the English language. We can’t do a thing without it. (Try thinking that over for a few minutes.) It can also change the way we thing of our seasons. I have often heard preachers say that the bad times are only for a season, and suffering is but a season. And for awhile, this satisfied me. But naturally I began to wonder why the season had to come in the first place. This subject is far too complicated to cover in one post (or even a whole book) but one way to at least retain sanity through suffering is to see it as serving a purpose. Maybe it makes our character stronger, or it teaches us not to take good things for granted, or it shows us how frail we are and how limited. Turning us back to God. (Some it turns away from God, but that is another story.) Suffering also teaches us not to make the same stupid mistakes over and over again, because honestly some of it is our fault. Suffering gives us more compassion for other people’s problems and pain.
The other half of purpose is, of course, in the good times. Remember even good times have something to show us. We aren’t supposed to drift through them and get lazy. No way! Our brains need to keep learning to stay sharp and stay happy; stupid people usually aren’t happy. (If they are, I dare say they’re not as stupid as they seem.) So if you don’t learn when you’re not in school and don’t work when you’re not at your job, your life probably feels meaningless, like you’re going nowhere, and who really needs you around anyway? No, I’m not reading your diary, this is not-so-common sense folks. Use every season as a tool and a stepping stone into the next.
[Teenagers!: Read the book “Do Hard Things” by Alex and Brett Harris or visit their website http://www.therebelution.com, for more about this subject.]
Integrate seasons and purpose into your way of thinking and see what a difference it will make, until part two readers–Natasha.
life tips
I’m just going to throw these out. They are based on my world view and values, so if you don’t want my advice, don’t read this. They are how to be a better person in the more practical areas of life.
Respect:
When it comes to work, my dad, who owns his own business, says, “Never be late” be the person who respects their employer’s time enough to be there when you agreed to be.
Do not ever badmouth your boss around other employees. Do not listen when/if they’re doing it. Do not disagree with your boss in front of customers, and in front of as few people as possible. Do not say anything of your boss that you would not say to his face (and this goes for, if your boss is one of your parents, and if you’re a volunteer and not paid.) Of course there are some exceptions to these rules, but they are few and I trust you can figure them out yourselves.
Do not ever support anything illegal. I don’t care where you are and who is doing it. Respect the law.
Messy blessings:
Be the one to pick up trash without being asked.
Do extra things at work without being told, don’t tell anyone you did it unless they ask.
At a park, pick up trash before anyone even says to, pick up other people’s trash.
Clean the counter at work before you’re told. (Now, if someone else is already paid to do any of this, don’t take away from their pay by doing it for them, but if it’s for any given employee go ahead. This is about thinking of others before yourself.)
Take out the trash before your mom reminds you. Mop, clean toilets, wash dishes, clean a room in the house, all before your mom has time to get to it or before she has to remind you. Make your siblings beds for them, help them with their chores.
Knowledge to be shared:
New guy at your work? Show him the ropes. Don’t play jokes on him (or her,) offer to help. If they do something wrong, help them make it right. (I do not refer to not telling your boss if they do something against policy or unethical.)
Help you siblings with their schoolwork. Or let them help you, sometimes they’ll learn better that way.
Time.
Don’t procrastinate. Time is your most valuable asset. Give enough time for every task, but give yourself time to rest. For the Christian this is completely biblical. There are allotted rest days, allotted work days, and allotted celebration days. God made time and we can do what he says with it (and He says to rest as well as work.)
Don’t take on too much, too fast. I multitask I’ll admit, I don’t do it very well. I can do one thing with my ears and another with my eyes and hands; but I can’t do two things with my eyes, and hands, and another with my ears, further more I find it stressful to. Your abilities may be more expansive than mine, but know your limits. if something is hard for you, don’t rush it. “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:15. It’s okay to separate things by the day.
Don’t be too busy. If every day of your week and month is full, you have a problem.
I love this next one. I honestly believe God gave me a revelation through this passage in Psalms. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so He gives His beloved sleep.” Ps 127:2 Did you know that was in the Bible? Or Christianity? I want to commit this verse to memory. This verse just tells me, I do not need to stay up late working on something, nor get up way too early to do something. To my fellow millennials out there just turn off your phone at night. Tell your friends you now have a cell-curfew. I’m sure it might be difficult to sleep at first, but your body will adjust and you’ll feel so much better. I’m serious, all my friends are always tired, mostly because of late nights. I’m tired a lot, because I need this tip too.
Don’t go to bed upset. This one is hard, but I take the “bread of sorrows” to mean that. I don’t sleep well if I’m upset, do something to feel better.
He who is faithful (constant, trustworthy) in little will be faithful in much, he who is dishonest in little will be dishonest in much (Personal paraphrase.)
drybonestruth 