Life tips

The Importance of Fun

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

I though I’d break from my more serious theme to talk about something equally important: Fun

I have a movie to illustrate this too, but I’ll talk about that later. First I want to say that despite the fact that I’m constantly thinking, (Or even because of that,) I make time for doing fun things on purpose.

I don’t think it matters what you’re doing, as long as it’s appropriate, just so you’re relaxing or getting pumped from the clean, honest excitement of doing fun things. For me, playing with my younger siblings is a lot of fun. And it  keeps out imaginations limber. When I want to have fun alone, I usually write. ; )  Nothing like getting lost in a story to take your mind off being sad or gloomy.

The only problem is that sometimes we use fun as a way to hide from our problems for too long, that’s another post right there.

I want to talk about the benefits of it. I’m sure you can list them right along with me. The most obvious might be that we get to bond with the people around us when we have fun; or that we get to relax and unplug from the stuff that stresses us out. But there’s a less acknowledged benefit too.

Now for the movie: Some of you may have seen Rise of the Guardians, in that movie (spoiler warning) towards the end, Jack Frost , the main protagonist, figures out that his center (his purpose) is fun. He is supposed to bring fun to the children, and this is what defeats the antagonist, Pitch Black. The point is to realize what being a kid is about, but adults need it too. Pitch Black wants everyone to be afraid of him, or of their nightmares, whatever. And that’s one reason fun is so important. It drives away fear. Ask any shy person if it’s easier to open up when they’ve had a lot of fun.

And last but not least, fun really helps us see things more clearly. We need to have a sense of humor in life, I mean, we’re bloggers, or blog-readers, we can’t take ourselves too seriously. No matter what our station in life is, or our circle of influence, we’ve got to be able to laugh at the absurd things we do, or have happen to us. Christian (and non Christian) comedians often say “God has a sense of humor.” And one has to acknowledge, that it does seem like the universe is just designed to be humorous, whether it’s in irony, or flat out comicalness. Watch an animal for a while, animals are hilarious. People may be even more so.

It’s really not hard to have fun, unless you make a big deal out of everything, in which case–chill. For goodness sake!

Literally, it’s much easier to be good when you’ve had a good laugh over something.

Happy Hunting–Natasha. 🙂

SAMSUNG CSC

Reach for the skies

Me, Yourself, and Respect.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

Respect. There’s a word that’s gotten pretty iffy in recent years.

We all want respect, but I don’t think any of us are born wanting to give it to someone else.

Respect must be earned, that’s why it’s so difficult to give, and to earn. Often people have higher standards for us to earn their respect than we think they should have.

It’s on my mind because I happen to be one of those individuals who gets talked to about respect quite a bit. I also am one of those individuals who is socially unaware a lot. I’ve offended people without knowing it. Sometimes things I don’t find offensive personally end up offending other people. It always ends up coming back to respect and being polite. I’ve never cared that much about being polite aside from being decent to people , and considerate. But when it comes to saying just the right thing and doing just the right things, I’ll admit I’m pretty clueless.

I think it’s because I usually am assessing myself, and I miss the signals other people send sometimes. As I’ve gained confidence I’ve gotten better at reading people, you wouldn’t think those two things would go hand in hand, go figure.

Not to make excuses for myself or anything. I’ll bet some of you have been there. Often it’s easier to pick up on stuff in writing than when it’s happening.

Unfortunately, I’ve found very few people will be understanding of my problem with respect and manners. so if you find people who will, stick with them, and let them help you. That’s my best advice for overcoming this barrier. It is a real barrier too.

Respecting someone means treating them the right way according to their position in life, and in relation to you. You respect an employer one way, an employee another, and your peers still another. It’s best when we’re all humble enough to learn from each other, regardless of our status, but sometimes that doesn’t happen, and respect is what we give each other as human beings. It’s what keeps us functioning as a society.

Btu on a final note, I’ve also dealt with people who were determined to find fault with my behavior  no matter what it was, because they have their own personal standard that doesn’t make sense to other people; in that case, I would caution anyone against changing too much. Do the best you can to work with that person, but understand that even if you met their standards, it wouldn’t be worth it. It’s too much based on the superficial.

If anyone has any advice to add to this, go ahead, I need it too. Until next post–Natasha.

Down in the valley

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

You know what’s hardest about being a millennial is that we don’t like to wait.

Even if you have the gift of natural patience, you still have those moments when it seems like something is taking forever.

Welcome to my world. Ever since I was little, I always thought once I got to be a grown up I’d be able to do al the things I wanted to do now. Then when I got to be 13 or so, I started reading books that told me I didn’t have to wait for adulthood to do amazing things. That may be true. But it sure seemed like the amazing things I in particular wanted to do were limited by age. Now I’m finally old enough to do everything except drink and run for a Political office (and i don’t want to do either of those) and yet  I’m at one of those times in life where I’m still waiting for things to happen.

Once you get mature enough at one age to admit that you aren’t ready for certain things yet, you turn a bend, and think that you’re ready now, at this new age. Maybe you are, maybe you aren’t yet. You’re still raring to go.

But you’re stuck waiting again. I have those moments every now and then where I want to scream, to cry, to rant about how unfair it is. But when I calm down and return to my normal state of composure, I remember the other things those books told me. When you’re waiting, you need to make it productive.

It’s so easy to get lazy when nothing’s happening outside your own little world of household events. (Unless you’re the type who thrives on that, and good for you then.) But that’s the trap of boredom. I don’t believe any of us dreamers have never fallen into it at least once, if you’re lucky, the one time is enough to scare you into never being idle again; If you’re like me, you have to remind yourself over, and over,  and over.

There’s this song I used to sing all the time when I was having one such season of waiting.

This is my prayer in the desert, when all that’s within me feels dry, this is my prayer in my hunger and need, my God is the God who provides.

And this is my prayer in the fire, in weakness or trial or pain, there is a faith proved of more worth than gold, so refine me Lord through the flame.

What this means, if you put it in non-religious lingo, is that our attitude in times of waiting needs to be that we keep hoping for the better times to come, and that when the waiting is actually painful (and oh is it, at times) our hope and our patience then become worth something. Asking God to refine us is our way of saying we want this time to be one where we learn to deal with problems better, and become stronger.

To make something our prayer is the same as to make it our hope, to make it our creed, to make it the thing we stake all on. If you’re prayer is not like that, then you have not put much into it. A prayer is plea, and it’s a thank you at the same time.

So that’s what I want my prayer to be while I’m waiting. And it’s important to have seasons of waiting, because then it produces the humility of this last verse in the song:

This is my prayer in the harvest, when favor and providence flow; I know I’m filled to be emptied again, the seed I’ve received I will sow. (Hillsong, Desert song.)

“I really wish I could just stay on the mountain, but I must go back down into the valley.”–Martin Luther King, Jr.

–Natasha.100_1572

What’s in a name?

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

Well it’s been over a week. It’s the Holidays you know, there’s more to think about, also I have other writing projects I work on besides this blog.

This may or may not be surprising, but blogging is the way I get out my more intellectual ideas and explore real life phenomenon. My real passion in writing is fiction. I love making stuff up. Writing about my own life usually bores me after awhile. Maybe because not too many things have happened to me yet. When you spend most of your time at home, even little things become important, but it doesn’t mean they’d be interesting to anyone else.

An interesting thing that happened last week was I looked myself up on the internet. Of course I can’t be specific, but I found out that a lot of people share my name, my fuller name that is (I knew there were other Natashas already.) And some interesting people have my name. I wouldn’t necessarily trade places with them, but one happens to be a writer of sorts, what are the odds?

It got me thinking about names. Some people think certain names give you certain characteristics. This may be true. In the Bible there’s a story about a guy who’s name meant “fool” and that’s what he was. But then there’s names that mean pretty basic things, like a plant or even a kind of metal, and you can’t say a person will become like that can you?

Maybe it’s all in why you choose a name for something. Plants that are given names thrive better, if the names are good. Naming anything makes you get more fond of it, unless you give it a name to express your contempt. We’ve probably all seen, or read about, or encountered a bully who nicknames their victim something awful, and it demoralizes them. We  know that what you label someone slants your view of them.

You’d think with all our knowledge we’d learn to be careful about what we call people, but knowledge never makes anyone careful unless they are careful already, by nature. I am fortunate to have good names, and very few people have ever nicknamed me, and eve fewer have nicknamed me something bad. But it only takes one time to teach you how much it stings. The worst thing is if you start believing what they call you.

I actually like to nickname people, and usually I don’t do it with an intent to annoy them, but I used to. (To my siblings.) So I’m well aware of how easy it is to start using this power of words the wrong way. And there are many wrong  ways, this is just one of them. I don’t want to hate on anyone reading who’s done this, because I shouldn’t talk. But believe me, it is so much better if you stop. since I stopped doing it, it’s like I can breathe better in my relationships with those people.

I’ve heard that I’m just too sensitive about this type of thing, but in my experience, it’s just better to clear the air and not antagonize people. (On purpose.) The bible has plenty to say about this, and so do plenty of other sources. Like Aesop’s Fables, and plenty of less famous books. You’d be hard put to find a story in which the use of words did not lead to trouble  in sooner or later.  So I think I’ve now made my point quite distincly. I’ve said enough.

Until next post–Natasha.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quality driven

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

Hello Viewers, sorry it’s been a few days. I didn’t have any inspiration.

I wonder if any one who read this blog might ask why I talk so much about right and wrong, to be honest, I think my dedication to it sometimes wierds people out and gives them the impression that I don’t have any fun.

Well, that doesn’t matter if I know my own reasons. But I have been too uptight before, and there are some reasons that I think other people relate to.

For one thing, when you want quality stuff (for whatever reason), of necessity you must start censoring the garbage around you. But most of us, when we first start caring about this, go overboard. We start to suspect everything. I think there’s an expression for that, goblins around every corner or something along that line. But, on the other hand, if we loosen up too much, before long we’re right back where we started. An illustration would be the infamous resolution to get in shape and stop eating junk food, never eating any sweet stuff seems extreme, and can make you a party pooper around the holidays, (or it would at my house,) but if you don’t watch it you’ll just fall back into your old habits. Pretty soon you’re not exercising either.

I’ve read that it’s important to keep promises to yourself, but I’ve also learned it’s better not to make them if you know you won’t do it.

So those are some fallbacks of trying to have a disciplined life. But it doesn’t explain why people want to. Some do because it leads to more self respect; others for the health benefits; others are content with simple things. But often there are religious reasons for the choice.

I think there’s a stereotype that Christians, or just Conservatives, don’t watch dirty movies, don’t drink, don’t smoke, and don’t sleep around, all because they want to be nice, good people. Well, maybe that is true, but it’s not the main reason. The fact is a lot of Christians do those things before they convert, so if being nice was the main concern, what made it happen all the sudden?

I’ve known plenty of Christians who watch movies I’d never even heard of till I started attending Youth Group, and who have more popular ideas about morality than the Conservative Ideal. (Nothing-at-all-edgy-ever.)  I was shocked that people who claimed to believe in the Bible bought into the stuff they did. I won’t name specific things, but believe me I can still remember it. I mention this because shock is getting rare nowadays when it comes to questionable things in the culture. I come from a home where quality was the main concern in entertainment, as in everything else, but I know people who just want it to be amusing, as long as it’s not straight up evil, they think it’s harmless.

I’m sure my followers, being the thinking type, don’t hold this view. We all must agree that there is a standard beyond “It’s harmless” even if we don’t agree on what that standard is.

I want to learn from something when I partake of it. I’ve never had fun when I’m trying only to have fun, and not do anything wholesome. The secret to fun is that you can’t demand it, you have to do something that’s good for you and the fun comes in. It’s true bad things can be fun, but there’s not a person alive who’ll tell you it’s the same kind of fun. (I hope. I’ve never met one.) Sports are fun for the exercise, teamwork, and discipline they bring. Games are fun when you have to use your brain. Art is fun because it is creative. It’s a simple fact that fun comes from doing things that are good.

Am I missing out because I believe I need to be careful about what I allow in my head? No. Frankly the argument that I am is without foundation, the only thing that can be used to justify it is other people’s standards of what is fun, and when those are lower than mine, of course they think I’m uptight. The test really is if I have fun at all, if I don’t, then, yes, I’m too uptight. And if you never have any fun, please, find something that you can do that you enjoy. But if I have fun doing what I do, and build my character at the same time, then what can anyone say to put it down?

All well and good, but can I really condemn what other people do, if it works for them.

Here’s the thing, define “works.” Does it make you a better person? Does it inspire you? does it make you healthier? Does it get you to loosen up when you should, and better your focus on what’s important? Then great, I’d say it works for you.

But if it weakens your resolve, leaves you feeling guilty, puts a barrier in relationships, and takes away from your life and energy instead of adding to it; then no, it doesn’t work for you. There is a reason quality is valued, because it’s essential to happy and healthy living. When I know my life is filled with good things, I am at peace. That’s all I have to say for now, toodles20160329_185243_001–Natasha

 

When you mess up.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

The past is past. Put it all behind you. Forgive, forget. Move on. It’s a closed issue. Let it go.

These are all ways to say that you can’t spend your time in regret and resentment. I have to say, I try not to screw up. I try to be good. I have a hard admitting if I fail. Not if I’ve done a “little” thing; like said something rude, but it’ll be forgotten by tomorrow, especially if I apologize. (By the way, have you ever had someone say they don’t even know what you’re talking about, or they’d forgotten about it, when you say you’re sorry for something. I get this quite a bit. I think it’s be better to just accept the apology, but that’s not a rule, it’s a suggestion.) But if I have an ongoing problem.

To be honest, I’m one of those people who really doesn’t realize how certain expressions and words can come across. I’m inside my head so much, I tend to know more what I mean, then what other people think I mean. But sometimes I worry about it enough to go the other way, and worry too much about people reading into my words. I know I’m not alone in this problem. So let’s talk.

I’ll just cut right to the heart of the issue, if I may. It’s not about being unable to let go of stuff. It’s about whether you believe you should. When you want to be a good and kind person, it’s easy to pour on the shame when you fail, as a self imposed punishment. I think the problem is two fold: On the one hand, we can’t fix ourselves, so we feel ashamed; on the other hand, we don’t want to let God help us.

It’s like, no matter how much our life sucks, it’s our life, and we should control it. Then we can’t. And we get mad at life for taking control out of our hands. Even though, who on earth told us we could have it in the first place? I know, I’m in favor of the “It’s your life” slogan. But I hope all my readers know that what I mean by that is you’re responsible for how much you do, and don’t do, and your attitude; not that you can fix everything with a little time and effort.

So maybe when I get frustrated that I screwed up, a part of me is just upset that I can’t see it coming every time. And maybe a part of me wants to be perfect, because it seems like I should be. And to be honest, a part of me is also scared that I won’t bounce back if I make the wrong move. How far is too far? How far before I can’t go back? You all know what I’m talking about.

But in the end, the only real way to live is to know you’re flawed, but to believe you can change. And to know that change comes through love, not through shame, effort, or any other medium. Don’t be afraid to say you’re sorry, don’t get down if someone doesn’t accept your apology, just live it out. And get excited when you win a battle. Record your wins and your losses.

If I may end with the lyrics from a song I like, it goes like this:

You know you can’t stay right where you fell. The hardest part is forgiving yourself. So let’s take a walk into today, and don’t let the past get in your way!

Yesterday is history, and history is miles and miles away. So leave it all behind you, let it always remind you of the day, the day that love made history.

Would you believe that you are history in the making? Every choice that you are making; every step that you are taking, every chain that you are breaking; history is in the making. Every word that you are saying; every prayer that you are praying; every chain that  you are making; history is in the making. ( History–Mathew West.)

–Natasha