Life

Here again, here again.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

I’m back! Yay! Thanks to those of you who still read my posts while I was on my hiatus.

I had plenty of ideas while I was gone. It’s funny how you can think of stuff once you don’t need to. All those people who’ve crammed for tests and then blanked out know what I mean.

Speaking of tests, I should be starting college next month.

I won’t be going to a University, so I hope to escape the grind of tests and finals for a dozen different subjects. (2 or 3 is plenty.)

I wasn’t actually planning on going to college. I don’t believe it’s necessary to succeed in life. Though plenty of companies prefer to hire college grads, the trends are changing. However, I decided to finally pursue ASL officially. I’ve wanted to do that for years and now I can.

So now I have to do all these adult things like set up a bank account and get a parking permit.

Do you know what I’ve realized? I have insecurities about being an adult. Shock!

I also realize adults have insecurities about being an adult.

In essence, being an adult just means being a person capable of independence and of giving something back to the world that you live in. Kids can do that, but they don’t have the same opportunities. The thing is, independence scares the heck out of people.

Especially me. I’ve wanted it for a long time. Now I don’t know if I’m ready for it. I’m lucky to have people in my life who believe in my abilities. And also some who don’t. Human nature being what it is, we all sometimes need to be antagonized before we’ll rise to the occasion.

The truth is, I know I am ready to step into being an adult, and that I’m doing it as fast as can be reasonably expected. It’s just that liberty can be daunting. We;ll fight for it, but once we have it, it’s a lot of work.

Here in the USA that knowledge is a part of our history (as forgotten as it may be.) far be it from me to say the USA is the best country in the world. I think so, in most respects, but it’s good to love your own country. I do think Americans tend to put more focus on freedom then most countries. Often because freedom there isn’t an option for enough of the inhabitants.

I’m just saying maybe my experience of growing up is different; but wherever you are, you have to have an increase of responsibility if nothing else.

I think many of us try to hang on to childhood as long as we can. There is some wisdom in that. I don’t want to give up all my childhood ideas and hopes and fancies (we need fancies) but I also think it’s a mistake to put off growing up as long as possible. When it’s time, it’s better to embrace it.

embracing it might look a lot like kicking and screaming for every inch of ground, but still going forward of your own accord. No one said it’s always a graceful transition.

My dad used to become physically unwell when he faced adult responsibilities. My mom seemed to do it more smoothly. I guess I have both.

I was once a worrier. If I’ve had to deal with one thing this past year, it’s trying not to be a worrier again. I’m not one to stew over all that could go wrong, though I used to be. But sometimes I still worry over repeating problems.

And I have to remind myself that my life is in God’s hands, as is my health, my finances, my social circles.

As Christians like to say, if God is for us, who can be against us?

Well, the answer is, a lot of beings can be against you, but the point is that none of them can stop you.

People like to use “unstoppable” as a slogan. But unless you have something to back that up, it’s an empty word. Almost everything can be stopped, it would be arrogant to think you’re above that.

But if God, who is unstoppable, is backing you, that word can be a word of faith.

The difference between faith and empty bragging can be confusing on paper, but they are unmistakable in real life. I know when I’ve just trying to psyche myself up.

And that’s all for now, until next time–Natasha.

Happy New Year’s resolution.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

Another year, another chance to fufill my goals.

But I’m not into making New Year’s REsolutions. I think, like most people, that they are an optimistic waste of time.

The real problem with NEw Year’s resolutions isn’t what every one says, that being that we just can’t hold ourselves to them.

That is a problem. But the truth is, if you really try, you can keep a resolution.

I have. As I’ve shared before, I’ve gone cold turkey ont hings, and I haven’t gone back to them.

I’ve sucessfully taken a break from doing certaint hings and eating or drinking certain stuff.

It can be done.

Yay!

I think it’s a lame exuse to say Resolutions just can’t be kept. Improving yourself isn’t a bad idea.

But the problem I do see with this New Year’s thing is that it makes resolution a joke. OR at the very least a fun thing. Or, if not that, then a popular fad.

Which kills all power in the resolution.

Resolutions are never fun, they aren’t funny, they usually aren’t popular.

For example, I could resolve to go see every new superhero movie the day of its release. That’s not going to be that hard on a personal level, though financially it would be.

It’s not like that culturally unacceptable. No one’s going to call me a prude or anything if I do it.

But if I were to resolve never to watch television fora w hole year, I’m sure some people would call that overboard.

(Try it and see, it’d be an interesting experience.)

But making a resolution just because everyone else is doing it and it’s a tradition defeats the point.

One has to be  serious about what they resolve. There has to be a real desire to change, and a real will to stick it out. Trust me, when there’s not , yo won’t last the week.

And any Christian would tell you, the grace of God is what makes it possible.

One can resolve and stick to it on mere will power, but that’s not the best way. It’s better to resolve something out of passion. Hiving the correct motivation to.

Those changes just aren’t made a whole lot. They’re the changes we all secretly wish the people around us would make, and wish also that we ourselves could make.

Humanity longs for change. None of us are always satisfied with who we are. Nor should we be.

I am no talking about hating yourself. I mean hating the thing that you do that are less than good. Or just mediocre.

Sometimes you have to hate the dumb things you do before you realize just how dumb they are.

I want to meet goals, but i don’t expect to change my habits all in one day or one week. So I make a dream list every new year.

I should review my old one and see if I did any of those things.

Until next time–Natasha.

Not my father’s.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

 

First of all, my holiday was pretty good. Family; that family’s friends; gifts.

But just the day after Christmas things were back to the old pattern. I got told that I was so influenced by what my father believes it was unbeleivable.

It’s funny, my dad would probably never say that. I don’t think most people who meet me feel I am easily swayed by people’s opinion.

But what does frustrate me is that I don’t explain my own positions. I never have explained my political positions (that is, what led me to that conclusion.) IT’s nto becaue I don’t have reasons. I have lots of reasons.

I actually have too many, and I usually feel that if I laid out my whole line of thinking, no one would listen. People rarely listen when I even begin to explain my views, if they hold different ones.

I’ve learned to keep my disagreement to myself.

Which is, I figure, just what the opposition wants.

I’m not the only one who does this, I know others who do. People who are feeling that the opposing side is so bull headed that there’s no point in trying to explain why we think differently. We never get that far, we figure, so why bother?

Funny, whichever side of a given issue you’re on, you probably have felt this way.

But, no one gets wiser when we all keep in in.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another,”

Of course I’m not one to say that we can all always learn form each other’s points of view.

That’s not the reason we share points of view.

If someone’s view is false, then nothing can be learned from it, by definition. But there is a lot you can learn from the person who holds that view.

You can learn why they hold it, how it came to happen, and what effect it has on them and the people around them.

With very extreme views, often that last thing is obvious.

But I submit to you that truth itself is not something another human can teach you, just by telling you something.

We learn from each other’s character far more than from each other’s words, though those are a big part of it.

But that is the danger of looking to the popular, or widely accepted or hated opinions; also of looking to the media, or a celebrity; or a parent to guide you to truth; they aren’t always in it.

I doubt anyone has the capacity to hold all truth in their minds at one time, but it is certain that some people are on the track to discovering more of it all the time, and others to never ending deception.

That’s why we do ally ourselves with certain groups of people. I prefer Fox News not because I believe its unbiased (I don’t) but because I know the people on Fox news hold belief systems closer to my own, and therefore are more likely to point me in what I believe is the truthful direction. But I don’t completely swallow all they say, I don’t know if they really expect that actually.

The difference I do perceive between Fox and CNN is that one seems to expect people of different views to tune in occasionally, but the other really doesn’t.

But I’m not getting into that debate (and I won’t get into it in the comments, just in case there was someone reading who would try.)

My point is, human institutions are like compasses. Some aren’t accurate, some are, but at their best, all they do is point you to the right thing.

So, if I do share a lot of my father’s views on things, it is because I see him as a pretty accurate compass.

But I don’t agree with my father on plenty of subjects. I choose to keep those to myself because I don’t think it’s anyone’s business. not anyone who’s not close to my family anyway.

But the reason I agree, as far as politics goes, is that my faith is the same as my dad’s essentially. Bible-based. And I would only expect our ideas to line up most of the time because of that.

I won’t pretend that my parents haven’t influenced my beliefs, of course they have, and I’m glad they did. They are good, honest people, and I have no reason to be ashamed to agree with them.

But they do not define my beliefs. The older I get, the more I realize this. That even though my beliefs have not really changed since I was a child, they have become more my own, not less.

Actually, whether you like it or not, after a certain age, your beliefs are your own. No matter if you’ve ever questioned them or not.

To all of us there comes a choice to question, or to accept what we’ve been taught. All of us decide, for a myriad of reasons, which we will do. All of us, no one gets left out of that. Once you decide, it’s your belief.

Some folks might whine that their parents ruined their lives, but after a certain age, you ruin your own life.

Depending on where you live and what your family is like, that could be a different age for all of us, but we hit it sooner or later.

I know our parents shape us, but they don’t define us.

And one last thing:

Like everyone, I have doubts. I never reassure myself by telling myself that “my parents are sure, so it must be true.” I can’t imagine that actually being comforting.

No. I have to go back to what I have experienced, and heard, to remind myself why I believe.

And that’s all I have to say about that, until next time–Natasha.

Meh.

/ toseealife / 1 Comment

I recently reached 500 likes on this blog, so here’s a thank you to all of you who click the like button when you are done reading.

Seriously, when I get views but no likes, I don’t know what to think. Maybe the person just felt “meh” about it.

Meh, I never use that word. I guess it’s an emoji now, I ‘m sure I ‘m not the only one who can’t keep up with them. I wouldn’t even know that one if not for that horrible movie that just came out. (I didn’t watch it by the way.)

You  know, that meh thing is really pretty sad. If you did make the mistake of watching that movie, I’m sure the only emotion you felt was frustration that the two meh parent emojis couldn’t express any… emotion– it was just wrong.

Deadpan characters can be funny, but this was deader and more pan. (What does that term even mean?)

Personally I thought it was sad, the idea of two people never be able to express their feelings with their tones or expressions. It’s like most of communication is gone.

And that’s all the emotion that movie got out of me, except disgust, if you want a review, look on YouTube.

Anyway, meh is kind of like the new “whatever.” You know how people hate it when you tell them that word? “Whatever…” Like you’re just too bored with the conversation.

The truth is , you probably are and just want to get away, but that hurts their feelings. Sometimes with good reason, we can’t always get away from uncomfortable conversations.

I realized today that I have a lot of moments myself where I want to go “whatever” and just back out. I don’t’ want to sort it out. I don’t have the energy or the willpower, just leave me alone, or let me do what I want.

That sounds like both a bratty teenager and a grumpy elderly person.

You know I think elderly people are grumpy because they don’t have to worry about getting ahead in life anymore.

Not that they are all grumpy, but the ones who are.

Maybe we just slip into that when we feel we don’t have anyone to impress. Like how I’m more tempted to just use my authority with kids to settle things and not actually what’s fair; because I don’t have to.

I hate that when I see it in myself, but I realize it’s al too common in humans to be that way. It’s not just me, all of us do that. We let ourselves go when we think we can get away with it.

The reason presumably is that we don’t really like being good all the time, it’s tiring, it feels like a duty we owe God, our family, and ourselves. But when our family isn’t there, we can be okay with shortchanging ourselves and therefore God.

Normally it’s nothing big, not for generally moral people, it’s that little sin yo might not even feel bad about, but you knew it was wrong.

It’s scary when you add it all up and realize how much you do this.

I am not one to say that if you sin in this way a lot, you are going to hell. (If you’re a Christian that is.) I don’t think these sins are always pure evil in of themselves. But in that they are sin for you, they are.

See, personal morality has been twisted around nowadays. It actually means knowing what will be sin for you because it pricks your conscience. Not getting to choose what is right and wrong period.

Sins of unfairness, or inconsistency, or gluttony may not seem that bad, and maybe aren’t bad for others (that is, what you are being unfair, inconsistent, or gluttonous about is not a problem for others) but you struggle with them.

I think we get sick of the struggle partly because we hate that it is a struggle. Why can’t it be easy to be good? Why did we ever make the mistake of letting this become a problem?

Deep down, every human being yearns for perfection. We chase what we once had, wishing we could get it back.

But we also yearn to sin. We don’t like it, but it’s there. Sometimes we give way to it because sin has a way of making it seem more painful to resist, even though it’s actually more painful not to.

We are lazy, I’ll grant you, but my questing is why? Why do we decide it’s not worth an effort?

We do deceive ourselves. Maybe because the truth hurts.

The good news is, you can start again. And you can be your better self and remember that sin isn’t something you enjoy. As always, it’s a choice.

And if worst comes to worst, you can forgive and be forgiven.

But it starts with not saying “whatever.”

Until next time–Natasha.

Of Christmas Classics and Childhood Innocence.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

Who doesn’t love old Christmas Classics?

Even though I realize now that there’s a lot of things in those movies that are not explained very well, I don’t think they have to be for the movie to be good.

Actually, I think they make it better.

If you’ve ever seen Frosty Returns, you might recall that Frosty tells one kid that “Some things just can’t be explained.”

And it’s true. I mean, can anyone really explain gravity? Can anyone decide what light is?

 

I don’t know about anyone else, but when I watch Frosty the Snowman now, the nostalgia makes me want to cry.

Because I’m sad for what we have lost.

I love the innocence of these old films. They have songs in them that would never make the cut now. Like the “If you sit on my lap today” Song from Santa Claus is coming to town.

That song is innocent. Whatever might be read into it now.

I am not saying by the way, that we should write songs like that for our modern movies. The problem with losing innocence is that once it’s gone, it’s gone.

You can never un-see or un-know what you know.

It’s impossible for me to forget the threats of terrorism, and drug abuse, and sex trafficking.

And that’s why I would like to encourage any parents our would be parents reading it that innocence is actually a very wise thing to preserve in your child.

It’s going out of fashion now.  The general attitude is that children will have to face reality sooner or later, and hiding it from them is stupid.

And parents who choose to shelter their kids rarely explain why in terms that make sense to those who hold the above view of it.

When parents say they don’t allow their kids to watch or listen to certain things, they usually justify it by saying those things are inappropriate.

But what does that mean? And in the day of gender confusion and school shootings, does that idea have any merit?

I think so.

The way my parents handled the issue was never voluntarily bringing up any shocking behavior. But if I asked about it, they would explain. My dad often more than I wanted to hear. My mom usually more vaguely, because she didn’t like talking about the stuff herself.

My parents used both caution, timing, and natural curiosity to handle the problem of telling my siblings and I about the crud in the world. And that’s the key.

Now that I’m almost 20, I hope I will not be in for too many more moral shocks. (please Lord.) But I am glad that most of the ones I had came when I was over the age of 10.

I am glad I can remember a time when I did not know those things. And that I did not grow up hearing about them all the time. Or that if I did hear, I did not understand, so I cannot remember.

I am glad that I had many years of relative carefreeness.

Why? Because I had no suspicions. I still remember when I could watch a movie and not get the sexual innuendos. Wasn’t’ that great?

I mentioned in my Wonder Woman review that I had the experience later of being horrified to learn about how corrupt people can be. That’s not a fun experience, but I would urge anyone with children not to avoid it by letting their children in on everything without setting boundaries.

Obviously, adults don’t talk directly to children about this stuff (usually) but they let them watch or read things without screening them first. And it adds up.

I am glad to be horrified over sin. It does not make you weak. It is actually a good thing to be sickened by it. To a certain extent. It’s a godly quality. The Lord himself is horrified by sin.

Did you know that there are some sins God does not even imagine us doing? It’s true. It says in Jeremiah 19:5, 7:31, and 32:35 that the sin Israel was committing had not even entered his mind.

God then, is innocent.

You may ask how that’s even possible. And the reason I can think of ties back in to shielding children from corruption.

A pure mind cannot ever conceive the depths a corrupt, sick mind will stoop too. A good man cannot even imagine doing what an evil man does.

The best protection from corruption is to not know about it. Innocence in childhood can be a great foundation fro a strong moral character. Because a child is not ready to process e evil and sort it out from good. That’s why it is the parent’s job to feed them on good things.

I want to make it clear I do not mean parents should pretend evil isn’t real. Children will figure that out no matter how much you try to hie it. What I mean is, trying to give them the best you can and make sure what’s influencing their thinking is a pure as possible. Evil is always evil, and it’s always defeated.

(I recommend A Thomas Jefferson Education for more on how to ease children into knowing evils sometimes wins and preparing them for that harsh reality through their books and movies.)

We are told nowadays that children only grow up with concepts of good and evil because we teach them too. And we are advised to throw away responsibility and treat them like case experiments. Exposing them to all things and letting them decide.

but no matter how hard you pretend it’s otherwise, children will decide based on you. Whether they reject your morality, or imitate it. You will be their guideline. You are teaching them one way, whether you like it or not.

So, why not teach them good, noble things, while it’s up to you. Before friends and school have a stronger grip on them. (Though find the best school you can by all means. And encourage healthy friendships.)

I want innocence for my children because it’s the last part of life that remains a little linked to how things were mean to be. And a child who has that experience will be able to imagine better things more easily than one who only ever saw the darkness in the world.

Irreverence.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

I watch a lot of YouTube, and a lot of movies. This often gives you a look into the worst of humanity (the part of it that’s online.)

Like Furrys, I mean, there’s nothing wrong with liking anthropomorphic animals, but do you know the sick connotations that term has?

I hope not for your sake. But I’ve picked it up streaming through videos.

Anyway, you know what I notice, there’s a growing problem that’s being almost ignored by he folks who comment on this stiff. (Like I am now, I guess.)

Maybe this is familiar to you, some one who thinks they are super funny is going on aobut something, and they throw in some remark against God. (It can even be a non christian God.)

I don’t know about Buddhists, Muslims, or Jews, but this really bugs me when it happens.

The insolent tone these folks use is kind of disturbing.

I won’t defend other gods, but I don’t really think they are something to joke aobut when someone truly believes in them.

Take an example from a movie I recently watched (it wasn’t good, by the way) the main character calls God a racist b—, with no real grounds for it that I could see, and other people in the movie think this is great. And funny. She’s applauded for her…moxie, I guess.

You know what’s celebrated in our culture? Irreverence.

We laugh at it, even applaud. Those who are out of control and insolent to everybody are praised as fearless and independent.

I wish I could say it was just unbelievers. but I’ve seen it among Christians too.

Some of you 40+ readers will remember when it was bad to use the phrase “Oh my God.” or any other cockamamie phrase that threw around God’s name.

Now I hear that all the time in church.

It’s hilarious. kid shows even nowadays will not use that phrase, or words like “heck” or “darn” because it would bother parents, but I hear it in church. Even in Sunday school.

I use darn and heck myself. Because to me, they mean nothing, or nothing important. You darn a sock. Heck isn’t even a real word exactly.

But throwing God’s name around implies that you feel the same way about that word that I do about these two words. That it means nothing to you.

And I’m convinced that for many people, it doesn’t. The idea that God would even take offense to that, if they believe in him at all, never crosses their mind.

It may seem like I’m being judgmental to mind this. But I’m really not. It’s a serious problem, your language reflects your attitude.

Now people will swear up and down that that’s not the case. We all deny stuff. It’s not a spectacular example of human failings. That’s why we shouldn’t buy it. People deny plenty of things that are harmful to themselves and others.

It’s like my cousins who use exclamations like that because their parents do, and they never stop to think what they are actually saying. And their parents learned it from their parents. And so on.

Irreverence is a huge problem because it signals a lack of ability to take anything seriously when it comes to the Spiritual side of life.

The Spiritual may not actually be ridiculous, but as C. S. Lewis pointed out, treating it like it has already been found ridiculous is both lazier than trying, and creates a general attitude of flippancy that ruins morality.

I think it is also possible to take things too seriously, but at this point, the only thing we’re in danger of taking too seriously is ourselves.

So the challenge is, do we need to look at how we talk aobut things and start watching ourselves more closely.

I’m pretty sure I do.

Those are my thoughts for now, until next time–Natasha.