Life

Experiences.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

I am updating this post because it’s been several months.

I want to get more into why we have experiences in this reboot.

Brushing your teeth is an experience, but it is not really memorable; versus going to another country, which you will probably remember as long as you have a sharp mind.

Though experiences themselves are easily defined by the facts, what they do to us inside, that is not so easy.

It’s funny how a seemingly terrible experience can later in life prove to be a good thing. one you are even grateful for. Like having a bad tooth pulled. Or getting disciplined by your parents. Or it can be a far worse experience, traumatic even, yet later, it makes you stronger.

I want to share with you guys something I got into this week, it’s an old comic book story, by Jack Kirby, about Scott Free and Big Barda.

AS yo may know, I don’t read a lot of comic books, but here and there I have one I like. This actually was all a tory I read online and saw pieces of on Justice League Unlimited, I only rada little of it in an actual comic book. I am not endorsing the show, but id o recommend reading the comic book saga if you get the chance, it’s an amazing story.

Not just because it may be the most romantic one in the DC universe, and it has a functioning couple to boot, but because even individually the stories of these two characters are poignant and surprisingly real.

Raised on the hellish planted of Apocalips, Scott and Barda are very different. Scott is the adopted son of the ruler of the planet, Darkseid, while Barda is a selected child who is being groomed to be the head of the furies, horrible female warriors who have no mercy, no pity, no remorse. It’s not really their fault, they are all brainwashed, hypnotized, and severely punished for doing anything remotely good or beautiful that Darkseid doesn’t like.

To make a longs tory short, Scott and Barda both witness one injustice too many, and Scott decides to flee to Earth, Barda, for reasons she does not fully understand, decides to help him, but does not follow till later. When she does they are happily reunited, and after a lot of adventures together come to realize they have fallen in love, they get married, and continue to have adventures. Though the most memorable may be the one where they go back to their “home” and face their nightmares (almost literally.)

Now I bring this up because the amount of experiences both these characters have is huge, and most of the experiences, at least early on, were bad.

So, it’s just a comic book, right?

Never!

Something about this story rung true with me. I have not had such a horrible life thank goodness, but I recognized something about it.

see, though we don’t live on a world that has no hope, many of us live in a kind of personal misery where we feel no hope. And we are brainwashed by many sources, hypnotized by entertainment, and severely punished by circumstances or possibly other people if we dare go against the norm.

I’ll bet most of us would look at Scott and Barda and say “that would never happen in real life, two people raised like they were would never be able to live a healthy lifestyle.”

Come on, is our modern phycology so very different from the kind of messages I’m sure Scott and Barda both heard? “You are meant for this, you can never be anything else, hope is pointless.” And I do not mean the lack of self esteem, but the lack of awareness just of what life is really about.

You might say, and honestly I would have agreed with you, that Scott and Barda would both be really messed up. Haunted by their past. and for awhile, they were. It literally cam after them. But they protected each other.

Until the fateful moment when Scott decided he was through running. He would go back and face it. And Barda, though she believed they would die, went with him. And they didn’t die, though they came close.

And this is how I feel like I relate to this story. Facing your past, and the fears that go with it, can be terrifying. You can feel like you’re going to die. Pain hurts. That’s what pain does.

But here’s why I don’t find their story unbelievable and I do find it real: I have been on the same journey. I continue on it. I do not feel as fearless as Barda, or as clever and optimistic as Scott; but I have had to learn to be brave, wise, and hopeful. I love Barda because she tells Scott right before they go into a dangerous situation, which she compares to a shark. “We’re jumping down that shark’s mouth together–and then I’ll beat it to death from the inside.” Who doesn’t want to marry someone with that kind of devotion?

Having a rough life may suck while it is rough, but one thing is certain, you cannot become so tenacious as to beat a shark to death, unless you’ve had a rough time of it.

And it takes tenacity to love, take it from someone who once had the backbone of a jellyfish, at least when it came to facing my own demons.

Scott understands, as he tells Barda, that they are proof Apokalips can fall. Not because they have defeated Darkseid himself, but because they defeated the darkness that he tried to instill in them. They overcame it with love and justice.

Usually we think of love, but you need justice too. Justice is what tells you when it is time to face your fears, justice tell s you when it is not fair to other people to act the way you do. Justice tells you that you should have a better fate than what you’ve been assigned by your enemies. (Whatever form they take.)

I think we are apt to get tired of hearing about the inner battle, but it is the one we have the most active part in, and it affects more than you know. More than I know.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to fight, ladies and gentlemen, and if you find a person who will jump down that shark with you, keep them around.

Note to self: Marry somebody who has no problem beating a shark to death if  it should ever be necessary.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this unabridged post from DryBonesTruth. Until next time

–Natasha

Earth Crisis: Part one.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

I’m not a huge superhero fan now, but a few years ago I was obsessed with the Justice League. I no longer indulge my taste, but one of their movies I still watch occasionally. And I’m not sorry, because among superhero movies I think it’s a rare find. (Yes, I’m geeking out).

JUSTICE LEAGUE: Crisis on Two Earths.

It’s not a movie simply about the Justice League. In fact, they are not even the prime characters any more than the villains or non J-leaguers are. The set up is of a parallel universe (in Sci-Fi  this is not uncommon) where each earth–and there are thousands– has its parallel, and that parallel has a parallel, and the original earth has another parallel, which has its own parallels–like a Fibonacci sequence. The story centers on two earths. On one, all the villains we DC comic fans are familiar with are actually the heroes, the Justice League, led by Lex Luthor. The superheroes likewise are actually the villains, forming a crime syndicate. Which is really nothing like the Justice League; the only similarity being the characters’ parallel selves. Ultraman heads up this syndicate and is known as “the boss of bosses.” Anyone who ever got in his way is dead (his words).

Then we have the DC world we’re used to. Or if you aren’t, you’ll get enough idea to keep up with me. The Justice League, at the moment consisting of Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, Green Lantern, The Martian J’onn J’ozz, and the Flash, are hard at work constructing a new watchtower that will orbit the earth like the moon, of course being much smaller.

Lex Luthor is in the opening scene reduced to being the last survivor of his Justice League. The Crime Syndicate; Ultraman, Superwoman, Owlman, Evil Green Lantern (for lack of a given name), and Johnny–the evil Flash (the evil Martian is killed early on and is of little importance) are all set to finish him off. But in a brilliant scientific last resort he vanishes to a parallel earth, clearly having planned this in advance. After getting the Justice League’s attention, he makes his appeal: “You people are my world’s last hope.” So it begins.

The unique factor of this story is its ability to make everything on the human level. Superheroes usually are so unevenly matched with villains that the villains have to have terrifying, horrible machines and unbelievable stunts to be a problem. Nothing feels real. In this imaginary world, the playing field is leveled. The villains have exactly the same powers as the heroes, and the regular government is not completely helpless. It has one small power over the Crime syndicate: nuclear weapons. Not much of an advantage, but enough to hold Ultraman at bay for a while. The syndicate bribes the Government (America’s in the story, though it could have been every government) to keep them off their case. Literally. Enter Rose.

Rose is my personal favorite character in the story. She is the daughter of the president, in the parallel earth of course. Rose hates how her country has surrendered completely to “vicious criminals.” To justify her case, the syndicate is shown with (probably stealing) chemicals, ship’s cargo, and looting Lex Luthor’s former hide-out. Not to mention Ultraman killed the first Lady to scare the president into complying with him. Oh, yeah, Superwoman is also a self-confessed murdering psychopath, and all the villains do damage every now and then to keep up their rule through fear. (Luthor tells us this.) So, Rose is very reasonably disgusted with the system. She’s begun making speeches against the syndicate and against her father’s policy. Respectfully of course. Rose has no powers, no protection save her required bodyguards, and no money to bribe the press or the people. She has no promise of safety. Her plea is simple: “Might doesn’t make right. It may seem that way sometimes, but in the long run it’s the other way around. We’re always stronger when we’re doing the right thing.”

Proverbs 28:1 says “The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous is bold as a lion.” Rose makes me think of this verse.

Rose naturally supports the Justice League when they decide to take action against the crime syndicate. She’s not blind to the fact that the people need help, especially since her father won’t advocate standing up to the syndicate. The president tells her that having a chance is “a fantasy.” They can’t do it without risking the lives of millions. Which is true, truer than they know. Rose is unmoved and wonders at his cowardice. The Martian, J’onn, reads her mind and gently tells her, “He isn’t a coward. Men who have seen battle are often among those who hold life most dear.” (Her father was a war hero.) She is surprised, but it doesn’t change her mind. She’s still angry and refuses to stop her speechmaking. Later we see her making another speech and almost being shot by Archer (evil Green Arrow for you fans). J’onn saves her and keeps watch over her because she’s a target.

What is amazing to me is that Ultraman himself views Rose as a threat. Why? She inspires the police to take action (against Archer as it turns out), and the people to believe in the power of Good. The Justice League’s actions only confirm what Rose was already telling everyone. Ultraman may not be afraid of what Rose herself alone can do to him, but he is afraid of what she can do by believing in the power of Right and inspiring the others to believe in it. So he threatens her father by suggesting they’ll take her out if he doesn’t get her under control. The same way they killed her mother. Of course the president is angry, but Ultraman isn’t worried; see, his crew has invented a bomb. (More on that later.) So, he’s got firepower now. I guess his philosophy is he who has the biggest toys wins. (He ought to watch Big Hero 6.)

Returning to Rose, she isn’t much daunted by the attempt on her life thanks to her new friend J’onn. He was watching over her for some time without her even knowing it. Now he stays by her in case there is another attempt. Eventually as they discuss the problem, Rose ends up getting him the crucial information, the location of the syndicate’s base (on the moon), of which her father has known for years. The assault on her prompts her father to finally come through for the League. So Rose tipped the scale. One young woman who had the courage to speak out against evil. Rose is not what I’d call charismatic; she’s not skilled. She doesn’t shoot any villains. She doesn’t have to. Her firm stance on what she believed in was enough.

As a Christian, I know that doing the right thing does have power. But never human power, and it can never be completely controlled by a human being. I know that I too have a protector whom I can’t see, but He is there. Rose’s power lay in stepping outside herself, while sticking to her own values. She didn’t care about getting the glory, and she didn’t get any. But she is in my book of heroines in the fiction world.

I have lots more to get into in this plot, so if this was interesting, watch for my next post.–Natasha.

Hearts ready to take Flight.

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

Saying something is one thing, doing it is another.

“I can easier teach twenty what were good to be done than be one of the twenty to follow mine own teaching.”–Portia, (The merchant of Venice.)

After talking about the problems of too much screen time, I figured I better be putting it into practice myself.

It’s funny, but whenever I refrain from one thing I seem to compensate with another. I guess there’s so much time to be filled and most of us don’t know what to do with it.

That’s the trouble with a free society, people like being told how to manage their time by other people, and the people in charge have their time managed simply by being in charge. I know few things harder on the mind than doing absolutely nothing. In fact, as I’ve noted since I was a little girl, there is no such thing as doing nothing. Unless you are dead. Life and death are states of being that you don’t have to try to bring about. (I mean not that you can’t cause your own death, but that once you are dead, your body at least is not doing anything.) If you’re reading this you must be alive, so of course I’ll talk about that.

I’m all for a free society. But Time is a commodity people don’t know how to handle well. My guess is because we can’t make it, or destroy it, only use it. If you make something you usually know what to do with it. But if someone else makes something, and you’ve never seen it before, then of course, you don’t know how to use it right off the bat.

All this to make a point. Knowing how to use your time well is not something we’re born with. And berating each other for it is really quite pointless; only experience teaches the use of time. Unless of course you can talk to the person who made it (Hi, God). But even then some things we never learn without experience.

So, most of us have had the experience that staring at a screen is a normal, somehow valid use of our time. But I won’t go into that again, since I just did. I think the real question is, what are our other options? What could possibly be more fun and more worthwhile and more relaxing?

I am continually frightened by older people recounting conversations with people of my age range. They say we can’t think, that we believe only what we’ve been told all our lives, and that we have only relative moral standards. And we are this way because of our schooling and our television. Schooling is a topic for another time, but the more I think about it, the more I realize how TV and movies did influence my acceptance of certain points of view. I think differently now, but until I hit my teens I really didn’t question it. I’m fortunate to have a family with strong values, so I wasn’t a ship without anchor, but I can imagine how much worse it must be for kids with no such anchor.

I’d say an excellent use of time is in getting more educated about things. Being willing to read books that present opposing views, or at least show all sides. (I just read Red Scarf Girl which was chock full of ideas I don’t agree with, but I enjoyed it.)

For us millenials sometimes learning just can’t happen until we unplug. I have a job babysitting some kids in my neighborhood, and at first all one of them seemed to do was play on an Ipad, except for brief intervals of playing with dolls or going outside, I kind of had to push her into it. Or we’d watch a movie, but while the older ones and I enjoyed it, the middle girl would get bored and go back to the Ipad. (Anyone else see the irony of that action?) This is a five year old. The worst of it is I let her do it sometimes because I was tired or wanted to do something else. My mom finally snapped me out of it last week by pointing out that I wasn’t paying enough attention to my charges. Yikes! But I decided to make a new rule, not electronics save for the purpose of texting their parents. At least for most of the days I’m there. I admit this is not easy to stick to. It feels like I have SO MUCH TIME.

But that’s just it. I have so much time. Time to play games, and read stories, and sing and dance, and watch the baby. Time to write a story. Time to tell a story. Time to actually learn about these kids. It’s not the work of a day or a week, but it can happen; because I can be present instead of just there.

This would be a good comments topic; what things in your life do you need more time for?

I won’t say I don’t get bored, but there’s other ways to deal with boredom. I still watch movies, but having less time to do it in means choosing more carefully. Often I’ll want to watch one movie one day and a few days later I don’t want to anymore. Now I sometimes pick movies that I think will help me with a project, or I just need to hear their message again. I guess what sums it up is the reason you do something is what makes the experience valuable.

With that I bid you ado until next time–Natasha.

 

 

Flashing lights and the buzz of speakers ( thoughts on the effect of televison.)

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

I got a much better response on my last post than I expected, so I will try to do a good job on this follow up. Which I was planning anyway.

I like to ignore statistics and go for what I see as the heart of a matter. I don’t believe numbers speak to very many people, to a lucky few perhaps.

I quoted a TV show in my last post, which was ironically about staying away from screens. But for once I felt the show did a good job of making its point and I was actually apt to consider its truth after watching. There are very few such shows that I’m aware of.

For an opening quote here’s this little tidbit by Raymond Shaw (The Manchurian Candidate.) “Have you noticed that the human race is divided into two distinct, irreconcilable groups? those who walk into rooms and automatically turn television sets on, and those who walk into rooms and automatically turn them off.” I can’t say I fall into either of these groups. We no longer have a TV in my house, but when we did I fell more into the second category. I really don’t like television.

It’s one thing to think it’s bad for you, it’s another to actually dislike something. But I do. I dislike it firstly because I feel dumber after I watch it for longer than a half hour. (I blame commercial breaks.) Secondly, because it gives me a headache. Thirdly, I have a deeper reason: I don’t like what it does to conversation. I have relatives who will never turn off the TV set if they can possible help it. In fact, that is the majority of my extended family. I have cousins younger than ten who’ve seldom sat in a room with the absence of flashing lights and the buzz of speakers. Younger than ten. I wasn’t allowed to watch things everyday till I was at least eleven, or if I went through a phase my mom stopped it in time. What bothers me is how normal the magic box seems to kids, how inseparable from life. I have true concern for this; I’m not just criticizing for the sake of criticism.

I believe the format of screen time is a problem, but I am coming to think more and more that it’s also the format of what is shown. When you watch episode after episode of disconnected material, with more disconnected material in the form of commercials, and worse, if you channel surf as many of us do, what is your mind supposed to make of it all? Our minds are designed for learning. They organize information, process it in various ways, store it, or discard it if it’s unimportant. The more the info makes sense, the better out minds learn something of substance. Reinforcement is crucial. So is building off what you’ve already learned. This being the case, a TV show that is random and disintegrated is very hard for your mind to make any sense of. It doesn’t know what you’re trying to learn, or how, or why. So it goes to sleep in a sense. (I have no proof of this except my own observations and what I’ve heard about  brain memory and receptivity. I thought I should put a disclaimer.) Here’s the kicker, when you choose to fill your fun hours in this manner, all real learning becomes difficult and “work.” If it was just TV, we might recover, but now phones and ipads make this a constant part of our day.

We as adults and older teens have a choice, but kids don’t always. I don’t know if we realize that they’ve been taught to see screen time as necessary, normal, and a good way to please their parents by keeping quiet. For every adult complaining, there’s 2 or 3 kids who can’t understand why screen watching is a bad thing and not socially acceptable. In fact, I myself am guilty of sending mixed messages to kids about this. I have regrets for it.

Choice is the key. TV is not evil except in the hands of evil, whether an evil person or just an evil system that cripples kids. So, if we take TV back into our own hands, and sets some boundaries, we can redeem it.

Luckily, I have some experience in this area, so if you’re open, I can help.

Step 1: Remove yourself from temptation. “I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.”–Groucho Marx.

I made the stupid mistake in my early days of resisting the screen: I would sit in the same room as it. I still do this, but I’ve learned that giving myself something else to do is a huge determent to giving in. Whether it’s doing a puzzle, knitting, or going in my room and reading, writing, or turning on the radio so I can’t hear what’s being watched; any other thing to focus on that gets focus off what I’m missing.

Step 2: Get educated.

It really is amazing what the absence of distraction does for the interest. I guess we just get so desperate without  a screen that we’ll go for anything. Try reading books. I find the more I read, the less important TV seems to me. Now to be fair, often books remind of a movie, but a movie is better assembled and can be wholesome, if only one is watched at a time. With long movies, intermission seems like a good idea to me now, just to get refocused. As I read, I change, as I change I care less about the culture’s opinions, so why would I watch things that were made only to spread those opinions?

Step 3: Get involved.

Why not spend more time talking to people. Some people only need a slight nudge to put down their phones and engage. Children may be harder or easier, it depends. But we all love it if someone really wants to talk to us, and if we had no texting, oh my gosh! Maybe we would want to talk to people! Join a group, take a walk, ask your neighbors over for dinner, go to church and volunteer for something, take a class. Check out your downtown areas. Go to a library.

“I thought we were gonna get television…but the truth is, television is going to get us.”–Dick Goodwin,

Please, don’t let it get you. We all need to fight it, because it is far more serious than we imagine.

Until next post– Natasha

 

Millions of flashing lights.

/ toseealife / 4 Comments

I wonder what people are doing when they find this blog. Surfing through internet stuff to kill time. Or perhaps checking their own blog and then seeing what’s new on WordPress. Not that I’m ungrateful or think that’s a bad thing, I just wonder how much of it we do.

People say we are over connected nowadays, we’ve all heard it. Most of us probably agree with the statement to a degree, just not as it affects us. I have heard statistics, but I’m not going to list any about the subject at hand. There are no statistics  that can measure how connected you feel with the people around you. Can we take a moment to acknowledge that, good.

The truth of the matter is, nothing you see in front of you can make a connection with your heart of hearts if all it is is flashing lights. Why don’t we ever ask ourselves just what the substance of a text, or a post, or a picture is? It’s flashing lights, it’s not the sound of a human voice, or the touch of human affection, or a real face in front of us. It’s just an image. It serves about the same purpose as a photograph or a letter used to, conveying part of the person, as a way to remember them and get a small taste of who they were when they couldn’t be with us. The more you knew them, the more you could get out of such reminders. Pictures are good I think, and it’s fine to take them even on a phone, but can they substitute for actually seeing the person?

Three things that don’t have value in a culture of technology:

  1. Privacy.
  2. Silence.
  3. Seriousness.

For the first thing: Moments of being alone with your thoughts. Time to yourself. This is not seen as a good thing, by you or by your friends who keep texting you all the time, or who constantly post new things for you to read. Wanting time alone can only mean you’re tired and cranky, not that you want to stay SANE.

Secondly, there is almost no silence. When we’re tired we turn on the TV or whatever our preferred form of tech is, ( if you don’t do this, then you have my apologies,) but I’ve found I’m more rested after just a little quiet time outdoors or in my room. If a stay at home mom is reading this, I know it’s hard to get a break; if a working person is reading this, I know that it can be just as hard to. Frankly, if you go to school it’s even harder because half your day is taken up without your consent. But there are still hours of time that most of us have that we fill with distaction form how tired we are, instead of rest.

Thirdly, When your day is crammed full of things that seem disconnected with each other, it’s hard to give full attention to anything. Again, if you go to school it is not your choice that subjects are seperated by the hour, but an hour is too long for some things, and far too short for others. I can spend hours writing, I get frusterated if I spend one hour trying to figure out a song on the keyboard. I have to take it in little bites.  Our minds look for connection and patterns, we need them to make sense of the world. The whole world is one interworking system, nothing is independent of everything else, yet nothing is the same. Both sameness and irregularity play havoc with our ability to reason and think and feel.

Yet entertainment is becoming increasingly both same and irregular. People who play the parts in the media industry now utter lines that come out of nowhere, and whose very randomness is supposed to be funny. I laugh sometimes, but unless it is very well done, such humor shows less, not more, cleverness. And plots are cliched. Based on what sells, not on a good message. I have to give Disney and Pixar credit for sometimes being an exception to this, but only sometimes. By and large there are no exceptions beyond the least popular movies and shows.

More than movies though, is our hopping from computers to phones to tablets to ipads to computers again, in a cycle of boredom.

Let me now quote a show called “Girl meets world”I heard this on one episode and liked it a lot.

“Not until we switch off our computers, put down our phones, and look into each others eyes, will we be able to touch each other’s hearts..there is no connection you can make with any screen that compares with the moment you understand only human beings have souls.”

Note the word understand. If you’ve read this far, I must have your interest on some level, so please, attend. I cannot possibly state enough the importance of knowing human beings have souls.

Personal story: A while back my sister and I decided to stop watching movies and youtube clips on the weekdays, we wanted to spend more time reading, and doing other stuff, and getting our studies done. At first it was hard and it still is in a way, (although I’m currently on break for a week,) but I noticed a change almost right away. I was happier, I was more interested in things. My brain was more receptive, I could enjoy reading more. I could go outside and really look at the world around me. I had more time to pursue interests, and more time to just rest without watching a screen, or to listen to music instead of watch music videos. I am more awake. That, versus yesterday, when we watched things for hours on end, and at the end of them I felt cranky with everyone, bad about myself, and confused about where I was in my personal life. I might have felt all that anyway, but it seemed so much worse than of late, and I couldn’t even think as clearly. To be honest, I’ve noticed the quality of what I’m watching plays a part, you feel clearer after good movies, and sutpider after stupid ones. It’s just the way it is.

I have found myself more paitent with people, and more at peace. Because in the absence of a screen, I have to use real substance to feed my imagination, not sicken it.

This is very long, so I’ll save the rest for a later post. I think we all have plenty to consider, myself included.

 

Moving on

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

So we’ve all heard some form of the phrase “You need to move on.” People in movies and shows say it as a quip, never really expecting the person to take their advice. But what does it actually look like to move on?

I present for your consideration Ella from the 2015 Cinderella, she’s a really good person. Kind and courageous. Enduring a lot of mistreatment with never a harsh word. Her Stepmother, who hates her for no reason of her own except that she exists (the most deadly type of hatred,) keeps doing cruel things to her out of jealousy. At the end of the story Ella is finally found and rescued by her Prince. She is about to leave this house and the stepfamily who treat her worse than a dog. She could gloat, I bet a lot of us would have a hard time not doing that, but instead Ella looks back at her Stepmother who is sinking down on the stairs in defeat. Seeing her Ella seems to realize that no matter what good might happen to her the Stepmother will still be miserable because she has chosen to be. So Ella, perhaps seeing a hint of guilt in her expression, says simply “I forgive you.” Then she walks out the door.

If you forgive someone from your heart, you no longer harbor ill feelings for them. You can be glad when they do well, and sorry when they suffer. (This may sound impossible, if so you’re not there yet, but don’t give up we’re all on the journey all the time.) But until you move on, the person still holds power over you. You still may desire their approval. Or you may be overly sensitive to their words. It’s taken me ages to realize that until I move on, I will still base my self worth on what other people think of me. Think of a person who you have a rocky relationship with: When they’re around can’t you just feel what they’re thinking about you? Can’t you tell their opinion of you deep down even when they seem okay with you? Well, there’s a strong chance you’re imagining it. But sometimes it really is the case. Either way the effect on you is to measure yourself by what they think of you.

I’m not going to be silly and say that it’s stupid to measure yourself by people’s opinions. It’s quite natural actually, and sometimes it’s helpful because we tend to mirror each other’s attitudes. If that is the case we need to alter our behavior before we worry about theirs. But, there are times when we honestly have tried to be kind to the person in question. And sometimes they know it and other times they never realize it. (Like the Stepsisters.) Either way it can be discouraging. And they will name us things like Cinderella (I read once that it means “ash baby.”) People’s opinions can have value. But only as much as you give them. If you don’t trust the judgment of the person then they shouldn’t give you your name–which is your identity.

When your realize that you’re wrapping your identity in someone else’s judgment, then it’s time to move on. Forgive them as many times as necessary, but stop pondering what they say about you, stop thinking about the past except when you have to, stop wearing their label.

Likely they never meant to label you, or they thought the label was harmless; but even if they did it purposely, let it go.

At the moment all I know about Moving On is that it’s a choice like most things are. There’s a time to every purpose under heaven. We have to walk away form the pain if we would move forward into the joy. I don’t mean we should be indifferent to people. But that we should recognize that they don’t always get us right. So, moving on…