Miscellaneous

The difference between men and women-1

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I’ve spent years trying to figure this one out and I finally have my answer: I don’t know what it is.

Well, I do and I don’t.

I can’t understand why people ever started saying men and women are equal or the same, and I really don’t know why they say “a girl can do anything a boy cand o.”

My dad always responds to that by saying “except pee standing up.”

Guys laugh at that and girls roll their eyes.

I could think of a few other things men can do that women can’t…and vice versa.

You’d be surprised how many men don’t even know what a menstrual cycle is, other than it makes girls super emotional.

And not all girls, and not all the time, I only get emotional sometimes. Other time sI hardly notice.

You know I find that if I pick any one trait and think “men are more this than women” I immediately have a few examples come to my mind of men who defy that generalization.

My dad is by far the most emotional person in my family, my mom might go through a whole week or month without yelling more than once or twice, my dad can rarely go through two days.

My mom is one of those people who smile more than laugh, my dad laughs all the time even in negative conversations.

Men are supposedly better drivers and better at math, my mom beats my dad at both those things.

My parents are both exceptional anyway, but that’s just the two of them. I know other boys and girls who defy stereotypes. I know guys who like to knit or sew or cook. I know girls like me who prefer self defense to ballet. That’s not so uncommon anymore.

The point is, if I pick any one thing, I can’t generalize. Both men and women participate in every activity you could think of. From the best things to the worst. Some things it would be nice to rule men out or women. It would be nice if it was true that women don’t sleep around and go from man to man like they were sampling them, and that men are never emotionally needy and clingy. But it’s not.

If I listen to any given conversation around my campus I’ll have proof of this. Boys can be just as emotional and annoying about it as girls, and girls can frankly be just as inconsiderate as boys are more reputed to be in relationships.

And boys can be sensitive and caring,  I don’ know why every genre except chick flicks and the rare kids’ movie seems to not get this. In some cultures a man might be more likely to cry than a woman in some situations. It used to be unladylike for a woman to demonstrate too many motions in public, now it;s weird for a man to do that.

Social fads never mean much anyway, people are too diverse.

I can’t trace he difference between men an women to any hobby or personality trait in particular. Humor can be one consistent difference, but not always. I laugh when people get slugged in movies if i feel it was merited. Even though violence isn’t supposed to be funny to girls.

Sometimes I wonder if I am mannish because I like things girls aren’t supposed to like that much. But I don’t consider myself odd given that I grew up with no brothers and a father who’s main way to enjoy playing with his kids was to buy them war and weapon themed toys. When you’re a girl and your dad is into very masculine stuff, you adapt and become flexible.

Now, true to the expectation, my mom couldn’t care less about that stuff, so I ended up with diverse interests. I am one of many girls or boys that did.

It’s not like boys never learn to do more homemaking stuff from their mom, or even their dad.

This isn’t about what we do, really, it’s not about how we feel. Men and women feel pretty much the same about things. The only difference I notice, and this difference is slight at best, is men seem to feel embarrassed for feeling as much as they do and they deny it, giving the wrong impression that they don’t care.

While girls only feel embarrassed about certain feelings.

Guys will downplay excitement, enthusiasm, sadness, and compassion into “guy” terms. Actions, and short sentences. (Usually, but you’ll have your Shakespearean poetic fellow now and again.)

Girls tend not to downplay positive feelings to each other, they might around guys. But they will downplay negative feelings a lot of time.

I think being bubbly and glad is perceived as a girly thing, so after a certain age most men drop it and hide their good feelings, while women only bring out those feelings, or else resort to being business like.

Again, this is still subject to personal choice. There are exceptions. That’s the only general rule I’ve seen to really apply however.

I will give men a tip here, with girls if you don’t express positive feelings she’s going to assume you feel negatively, or worse indifferent. Indifference is worse, at least to me. If you’re negative I can fight with you at least. Anything is better than stagnation. Guys usually think women are reading into it when they assume the worst, but that’s imply how we communicate.

Conversely, I’ve learned that if I have a spat with my dad I’ll fix things a lot sooner by doing something then by just saying I’m sorry.

I think this boils down to women wanting to know you feel remorse, and men wanting to know you’ll actually take responsibility for your actions.

However, I still say we all have both, it’s just which one it takes to seal the deal that differs.

That said, the real difference between men and women isn’t something you can diagnose. And people are trying to diagnose it so they can cure it.

I don’t care if men are different from me, if they’ll just stop griping about it. I’d hope they feel the same way. God made us different.

You see, our differences are something in us grater than the sum of our parts. It’s not whether you wear make up or wear cologne that makes you a man or a woman. It’s something in your soul.

One reason i don’t believe that people can be transgender. As I just said, emotionally you cant’ really pinpoint the difference between the sexes, it’s soulful, or spiritual if you will. We kind of just sense that it’s there. If you interact with a man or a woman for nay length of time, you’ll feel the difference.

Ironically gay people may actually be more likely to realize men and women are very different, they’ve just decided they don’t like one or the other.

 

 

 

At home in the universe.

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Yesterday I had the great opportunity to go to an observatory. I am a big fan of the universe and stars and planets. A friend of mine and I were discussing recently how awesome it would be, after we get to heaven, to just go hopping around the universe.

And it would be, because even the pictures I see of clouds of stars and galaxies are breathtaking. Imagine seeing it in person. It’s no wonder some astronomers are dying to discover the secret of space travel.

You can Google images too if you want to know what I’m talking about. Rainbow clouds, huge whorls of pink galaxies or solar systems. More stars than you can fit into your mind. And it goes on forever. Literally, it’s all still expanding.

Which is proof of a higher power if you ask me. Where did the space to expand into come from? The big bang couldn’t have created it, even if you buy that crud, which I don’t. But the Big Bang doesn’t solve the problem of where everything cam from, it just presets a very long drawn our method of it expanding.

I am getting to the point where I find the Theory of Evolution too ridiculous to take seriously. If you look at what the universe looks like, you’ll see it’s astoundingly beautiful, and it truly is other worldly.

stars-galaxies-space-wallpaper-wallpapersBX442

King David wrote about seeing all the worlds God had made  (You might be more familiar with that in the song “How Great Thou Art.”) I don’t think David meant there was literally other earths out there, like in science fiction, I think he was probably referring to the planets.

I don’t believe in aliens. But I don’t rule out the possibility of other worlds, Not ones that could support human life. I think we’re here on earth for a reason. I don’t expect we’ll ever find anything resembling a life like a life on earth in the universe.

I think that out there, the’re life of another sort. If you look at the pictures of the Galaxy, you’ll feel like it is alive. But not alive like we’re alive. It’s not a sentient breathing being, but it’s not dead. It’s vibrant, it’s magnificent, and there’s so much of it.

Why would God put beauty all over the universe when it is doubtful we’ll ever be able to find it all?

Well, because God is much greater than we can know, in this life anyway. And He does not limit Himself just because we are limited.

Which brings me to something a little less pleasant. The folly of man.

While I was at this observatory I saw a sign (one of those informative ones like you see at museums) that was talking about what we’re discovering about the universe. At the bottom it had the amusing thought to present that because we’re learning abut this “We are finding our place in the universe and feeling at home in it.” That’s almost exactly what it said, but I wish I’d had a notebook to jot it down, my phone doesn’t take accurate enough pictures for it.

Yes, ladies and gents, because we can take pictures of stuff billions of light years away and form theories about things we’ll never touch, we are finally able to feel at home in the universe.

The plaque also said that the reason for this was because we could understand it. BS I say!

We have our theories, we can’t even agree on those. But if we think we are anywhere near understanding the universe we are beyond delusional. We don’t understand DNA, something all around us, on us, in us, and something we’ve studied up close for decades. Yet we think we could understand something we’ve seen only at a great distance.

We can’t predict our own weather with great accuracy, yet we think we know weather on other planets. Do you see the humor in this? And the arrogance.

At home in the universe? Give me a break. Do you feel at home on your block?

When I consider the heavens, like David, I am in awe. And there was a quote about that too. From Griffith J. Griffith talking about the Mount Wilson Observatory.  “Man’s sense of values ought to be revised. If all mankind could look through that telescope, it would change the world.”

spiralgalaxyngc1365-s

I know that I don’t exactly feel at home in the universe. There is something entirely beyond my understanding even just looking at the photos. Let alone if I tried to study it. See if it doesn’t make you feel the same way. Small.

But I do feel like I differ from a lot of people in one way. The universe does not make me feel unimportant. Unimpressed with man’s attempts to snatch glory apart from God, yes.

But not unimportant. I do feel small and extremely limited when I think of all the places I can’t reach, but it only makes me realize that one day I will be free of this body “of death” as Paul called it.

I don’t hate my body, but it’s a humbling thing to have a mortal body. It does things that don’t really make you feel all that proud, and it limits you. What Outer space reminds us off is that our body is a very temporary thing.

If you don’t feel at home on earth, I don’t think space frightens you so much as it makes you want to expand. If people are too busy int heir lives to ever look up even at the heavens we can see from here, I wonder if they are just a little too comfortable on this fallen planet.

Nathaniel Bowditch looked up at the stars, his mother said they made your problems shrink if you looked at them long enough.

I think the scariest thing for some of us, and also the most alluring, is that the galaxies are not full of man made objects. They are wild, in a way. Divine in their design.

I hear a man quoting one of those ole shows “Space, the last frontier.”

The frontier we can’t reach yet.

galaxy-sky-stars-Favim.com-192527

Stuck in Groundhog day.

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Groundhog Day. Funny how an ordinary holiday has now become the symbol for having infinite chances.

I think Jumanji turned that on its head though, by pointing out that we only ever have one life. The idea that we could have more is as bizarre as a video game.

Even if you believe in Eternal Life, like I do, we all still believe that what we do on this earth matters. You’ll notice that almost all people have a sense of this, no matter what they believe. We all feel like our days here are adding up to something.

The Bible says “So teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12.

“Show me, O LORD, my end and the measure of my days. Let me know how fleeting my life is.”  Psalm 39:4.

Our days are adding up to something, but the Bible reminds us to not just mindlessly accumulate them, but to count them, and measure them, and see what we are adding up to.

We do get second chances, but as you all know, not infinite ones to redo our lives. Yet in a way it is true. Every day is a new chance to do the right thing.

The secret of Groundhog Day is time management. If you knew what would happen at any time in the day, you could do anything within reason.

But I am not a machine, I can’t plan my day out so meticulously. You ever wonder why you feel so stupid when you walk out of the house without some important item that you needed to do a major activity in your schedule? (Happened to me yesterday.) How could you forget that?

Teachers can be real hypocrites about this too. Because unless you are abnormally good at remembering stuff, everybody does that. Frequently. have you ever known someone who doesn’t forget that one thing, lose their glasses by putting them on their head, go into a room without turning the light on and then try to turn it off when they leave. We don’t always focus on everything as much as we want too.

And Teachers can be all like “It’s your responsibility, and you really should be more organized. Yada yada.” And you;re reaction is to apologize and feel really dumb.

And maybe you are disorganized. But often I’m thinking “I had the paper/item right there on the table and I walked out of the house without it.”

the real reason is we’re in a rush and I recommend getting everything together the night before if possible, but it’s not always possible is it.

We tend to give ourselves leniency on things that are really important, and beat ourselves up over stuff that isn’t. You ever notice that? It’s like we feel we have to pay retributions to something, but we are too scared to face up to our biggest issues.

But if Groundhog Day really happened, the kicker is, you couldn’t get away from yourself. So the only way to survive is to become selfless. Because in the end it’s our own selfishness and not our situation that makes us miserable.

And I think if you feel like you’ve been stuck in that cycle for a long time, you might really be fed up with yourself. And that’s okay, Jesus can fix that…if you won’t accept that answer, I can’t help you. I don’t know any other way to escape from yourself.

At bottom that’s what all those minor frustrations with ourselves are springing from, from our need to get out of ourselves and do something for other people, and feel like we are connected to something bigger than us in life.

That’s all for now, until next time–Natasha.

Non-stop.

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I can’t believe that 250 years after American was founded, saying it is great is actually controversial even among its own people.

This isn’t about Yankee pride or anything like that. actually my ancestors were confederates. (That’s a joke.)

Anyway, I digress. I doubt my lineage has anything to do with how I feel about America. But as I’ve said before I used to not really like my country. Not because of slavery, or racism, which has been everywhere and only has changed drastically in a few select nations; but because people didn’t seem to care about our ideals anymore. If anything the Liberal Left seems to hate everything we were built on.

Slavery was wrong, yes. Though I might point out, that’s still not universally accepted around the world. It’s only a given here because it became the popular opinion.

The world at large never changes, it just morphs into different shades of the same thing.

But once I began reading up on America’s history I found that America has always been a place that cannot be judged by its government but by its people. It was founded fort hat reason.

If you look through what the founding fathers wrote after the county was started, you’ll find an underlying theme of respect for people. For farmers, for blacksmiths, for the common person.

And believe it or not, many of them were quite progressive for their time. Jefferson argued that Native Americans had rights. He still regarded them as not quite bright, but he thought they could be taught, though how to do that without ruining their culture remained a puzzle to him.

Sure, it’s easy to say now that he was still racist, but in a time when a lot of people regared the natives as trash and savages, he would have been quite controversial.

I also find the attitude of tearing down our founders because they did wrong things to be incredibly hypocritical.

We act surprised and shocked that they were still human beings who made mistakes. And we blame them for their wrong ideas about race and social Justice. Even though we have paved our way to social justice because of what they wrote and what they did.

Do we really think our beliefs now are so inscrutable as to be more correct in every way then theirs were.

In my opinion for every problem of theirs we’ve corrected, we have added one or two more of our own, because we have forgotten what enabled them to succeed at making a better country even with their flaws.

I just finished rereading “Carry on, Mr. Bowditch.” The story of America’s first great navigator who revolutionized navigation in a time when America really need to get its feet wet in the world of sea trade. (Pardon my pun.)

Perhaps some of you have seen or listened to Hamilton. The rap/light opera based on Alexander Hamilton’s life.

If you have heard it, you know his childhood was tough. But as the songs expressed, he was determined to “not throw away his shot.”

Back then, (and in Carry On, Mr. Bowditch I found the same theme) these exceptional founders and the geniuses who came after them, felt it was not unusual to want to make something of their lives. To live well, and add something to the world.

It was the American dream. Not that everything would be easy, but that success and meaning is possible.

If you listen to the last song in Hamilton, you’ll know his wife lived 50 more years after he was killed, and accomplished what women were not supposed to be able to accomplish in her time. Yet I had never heard of her before I listen to that. Afterward I looked it up, apparently it was all true. She started an orphanage, she recorded Hamilton’s life, which is why we know so much. She wanted his story to be told, and int he rap opera, they have fulfilled her wish, hundreds and thousands of people who would never read a book about it are still learning about him.

Both Hamilton and Bowditch had rough lives. And all the founders I read about had the same. People died, they got sick, they were poor. yet all of them save for a sad few, they bounced back.

American ideals were made possible by American grit. The attitude that if life knocks you down, you don’t just lie there, you get back up.

Now, if we lose our wife and almost die of a terrible disease and live through a war, we go to therapy. If our life sucks, so many of use choose to end it. We see no reason to keep living, we throw it away.

And reading their stories, I wonder what made them decide not to commit suicide, this kind pf pain seems unbearable. One terrible thing happened after another. Life was so fragile. Nothing was certain.

but as Hamilton has simply put it “I’m not throwing away my shot” and as the musical said “That man was nonstop.” And that’s the answer.

They were non-stop. If they lost a wife, eventually they remarried. If they lost a child, they still dared to have more. If they lost heir land, ended up flat broke, they got a job and climbed back up the ladder. They dared to go to sea even when every man in their family has died at sea. And their women either helped them int heir work, or let them do it without whining about it.

Non-stop. You never stop to let hardship turn into despair. That was their secret. You keep at it.

It’s like they say about riding a horse, surfing, or any sports you can get hurt in. Once you go down, you get back in the minute you can, or you never will.

Life is like that.

That spirit is the American spirit at its best. And while we aren’t perfect, that has always been the key to our changing and improving ourselves. If we lose that now, we lose our identity.

I don’t think, mind you, that you have to be American to have that kind of grit, my point it simply that our country was built by it and because of it.

Because we had the guts to say we can be responsible for own success and we don’t need a dictator to control our lives.

It seems like now that’s what we want. And make no mistake, we’ll get it if we continue to want it.

But I’m not going down yet. I have a legacy to live up to.

Until next time–Natasha.

(Don’t) Hit on me.

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No this is not about how I hate men and don’t want to ever date.

This is about how some things aren’t so simple as they used to be.

Today for the second time I had some random guy come up to me out of nowhere and say “hi, how ya doing?” The first time I was sitting down during my lunch period and minding my own business, reading up on my English homework I believe. This time I was walking away form my campus’es learning center and some guy walking behind me just addressed me with no warning.

My sister pointed out, may be he was trying to be nice, or maybe it was a dare. My theory was he’s not American and somebody told him that in America you say hello to random people. (Both times the people were Asian and my college has many international students, so this could be a fair guess.)

That’s best case scenario.

I can tell you as a single woman at a secular college where we get warned about walking alone anywhere, three things are going through my head when a man I don’t know asks  me how I’m doing.

A. Are you hitting on me?

B. That’s kind of creepy.

C. Why are you talking to me? Do I look familiar?

Hey, I could just be overly suspicious of people…but I doubt it.

In a small town, or in the same neighborhood, this might not be weird. Also, if you said it in a friendly tone. This guy just kind of said it like he was forcing himself to say it. Then he must’ve chickened out because without another word he turned and walked into a different building, and I stared after him in bewilderment. (Perhaps the fact that I responded with an awkward wave and a baffled expression helped.)

Plus, I am taking a self-defense course, so the other thing running through my mind it: Do I have to use it?

Now, we young collegiates, we can be kind of cocky. We might want to get in a street fight just to show we could handle it. There are both good and bad reasons for feeling that way. I think part of it is to have the assurance that we can handle it. That’s what most of us crave, validation.

But I hear older men brag about how they could kick someone’s rear end too (not that they use that term.) I myself like to say how I would physically react to certain behaviors.

I guess I am a more aggressive person. Even though I admire Gandhi for what he did and his strength of character, I have never believe in non violence.

I was watching this comedian yesterday and he said you’ll change your mind about fighting after you’ve seen it.

I say, only if you’re an only child or you had a sibling who wouldn’t fight you. Or parents who wouldn’t let you fight.

I don’t believe violence is always the answer. But as a Christian I notice the Bible has no problem endorsing it when the situation calls for it. It also condemns attacking innocent people and shedding blood when it is unnecessary.

The Bible is pretty hard on women who refuse to try to get help if someone tries to rape them. In the Old Testament, if you were raped in town and did not scream, you were considered guilty of sexual sin. If you were out in the country, you were off the hook because if you did scream no one heard you.

Now I know that someone can be raped and scream and no one might help them, the Bible knows that too. The people were always supposed to come before God and the priest so those fine details could be sorted out. But the Biblical principle is clear. If you let someone violate you, you share the responsibility.

There’s many reasons a woman might not be able to scream or do anything, but the message is if she could resist, she should. And if you can defend yourself, clearly that’s your job.

I think it’s a big problem to tell kids all violence is wrong and unjustified. If a parent thinks they can prevent their kids form doing violence, if the kid has a mind to, they are delusional. And if they think their children will be safe without some ability to defend themselves, in this day and age, that’s getting to be delusional also

Boys especially, but girls also, they will use force. If you deny that’s part of the way the world works, you’re living in a bubble.

Violence is not something to use all the time. The Bible also makes it clear that violence in war is acceptable because it it necessary. Good men don’t start wars, but if evil men do so, it would be evil to surrender to them without a fight.

That’s the stance on it, if you do not resist evil when it threatens anyone but you, you are part of the problem. We are told not to resist an evil man when he abuses us (within the correct context) and to turn the other cheek. But that is when only ourselves are at risk. Or a group of people who share our convictions and will accept the same fate.

Jesus himself resisted evil and evil men, but not through doing evil or even violence. he resisted them in words, and deeds that were contrary to what they taught.

Basically the rule is: do what is right and merciful, and if it’s in line with the law of tha land, then submit to that law. If doing right becomes illegal, you still have to do it.

My encounter today didn’t end up being threatening, and I hope I don’t have to go through that. And there’s a time and a place to resist, and a time and a place to not. But I see no shame is having to knowledge and ability to defend myself to the best of my strength. Beyond that, there’s not much I can do.

It’s sad to me that women have to consider this no matter where they go. And that men have to be so careful how they act, even if they have the best of intentions, women are never certain at first. I don’t like that the world is like this, but I have to be ready for it.

Until next time–Natasha. download

A is not for effort.

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Second to last day of School!

4 years frm now maybe I’ll be done with college. There’s a thought.

I didn’t think I was goign to go right back into school once I finished homeschooling, but  I can tell you that homeschooling makes college a lot esaier.

Ues, indeed, the whole thinga bout it being harder becuae you aren’t used to it is a myth. yes it’s more time consuming.

But the average homsechooler has sat in church services and classes their whole life, so bieng lectured for two hours about something isn’t so unusualy and most teachers make it more interactive then taht.

Doing homework comes naturally to us.

And as for making friends. no I haven’t exactly. But I made a lot of acquaintances. I take the time to know some people’s names. Like t he girl I ride the bus with sometimes. The librarian. People from other classes… people in the tutoring office I go to. No big deal.

I dont expect toahve a lot of friends at college. Soem people seem to be able to make friends, but most of us only see the same people a few hours a day. But I am generally liked, so no complaints.

All in all,w hile I’m tired and ready for a break (all oen week of it) I am not overly worried about doing well. I’ve made Bs ina l my classes, Id o hope to bump two up to an A at least, but IW ont’ cry a river if I don’t. College is ahrd, and the person whpg ets an A isn’t always the one who understands better. sOetimes people get this adrenline propelling thme to scrape together an A. I actually know few people making A’s; the college professoers don’t hand them out as much as they are supposed to.

I did all the extra credit I could, the rest is either luck or memory. I can’t control that. While I always could have done more, according to my family I’ve worked hard, and accroding to my classmates I’mt he smartest in class. If I make a B, it must be really hard to make an A.

And that’s okay. I’d still make honors if I wanted to.

I want an A. but I have many other classes to get on top of that in. IF between three classes a high B was my average, that’s not so bad.

Am I going to blame my teachers? No. Some students seem to prefer blaming them. Me, I prefer thinking I can do better. Because then I can do better, I’m not stuck at this level. If I ever get a teacher who hates me and is determined to fail me, I might just drop.

I can take hard work, but unfairness is another matter. However I doubt that’s going to happen.

I’ve learned that half the people in college don’t want to learn, they want to have a grade that says they’re smart. Because clearly, a smart person can never fail. (Did I ever mention how bad I am at Geometry?)

If the teacher won’t give them that grade, they drop because they don’t want to look stupid. But they only look more stupid when they have to retake the class they didn’t even finish.

Good grades are not  about being smart, they are about how much you learned. And  I am smart, but I don’t always learn as much as the professor wanted. Sometimes it’s a matter of pacing, other times I got behind. And other times it’s practice.

I never got letter grades as a homeschooler save for once when my mom tried it, she didn’t like it so we stopped. I like having something to aim for and more competition then just myself.

yet I don’t care so much that it ruins my fun if I d on’t get a 90% on an assignment. If you get a B, you’re learning enough to keep up. A C means you probably need to up your game.

AT the end of the day, even an A doesn’t mean much if you hated it and you forget it all later. I’ll remember more because I enjoyed it.

So, make what you will of that, it’s my experience so far, until next time–Natasha.