Questions for the People changing the world

/ toseealife / 3 Comments

I took a few weeks off since my last posts did not do so well, so this time I thought I’d talk about a different subject.

I also have a new laptop, so that’s exciting, nice to have keys that don’t stick..

I’ve been watching some tik toks, as I mentioned in my last post, and been frustrated with how people respond to these issues, but let’s talk about that term for a second.

You ever notice how everything is an issue now?

In the past century, we started using language like this, but they called it “problems” “dilemmas” “Crisis” “matters” and so on.

Now we call it “issues,” “injustice” “Inequality” and so on.

Before the modern and post Modern era, people usually just called it “doing good” and “doing evil.”

Being fair, and being unfair.

I mean, the difference matters. We don’t just call things right and wrong anymore, we call them “issues.”

Issues can be problems without being good or bad, really. What’s an issue for one person is a selling point for another.

Abortion is an “issue” but it has two sides. People don’t call it a moral question anymore.

It’s not really a question, anyway.

Language matters.

Back wehn C. S. Lewis was writing, as well as his peers, in the 1900s, they noticed that things were shifting away from the acknowledgment of truth. Things were not “good or bad” “true or false” anymore, they were “honorable” “brave” “intellectual” and all that other crap.

Not that those qualities are not real, but how can a theory be brave or honorable? It’s a theory. A thought process. Either it is true, so it’s useful, or it’s false, so it’s useless.

Now, as I study this stuff, I’ve noticed that Lewis was, as usual, 100% right about that. But what many people do not realize is that Millennials and Gen Z are now living in the aftermath of it.

A lot of people in their 40s or 50s, or older, imagine that the debate we’re having in society is still about right and wrong, but the truth is, it left off being about that a long time ago.

And if those people would ever bother actually talking to a young person seriously about what they believe, they’d see that for themselves.

I realized it when I began trying to teach and discuss things with my younger cousins, (Gen Z) and people at my college (Millennials). I can’t begin from the premise that something is right or wrong, and win the argument.

My cousins will be more concerned with what is socially acceptable, what is tolerant, and what is inclusive. If I say that it’s “wrong” they may admit it, but feel it is still their civilian duty to support people making their own choices, even if they are bad ones.

And you’ll find that thinking all over movies and shows now.

I mean, I’m sure Hollywood would like us to support them making their own choices, even if they are bad ones, so they can keep making porn, exploiting child actors, and doing drugs without suffering the consequences for it the rest of us do… I mean sure, let’s pay them millions of dollars a year to make their own choices.

I wish I got paid to do that.

But I digress.

So yeah, “right or wrong” no longer cuts it.

The operation to remove men’s chests, as Lewis put it, was largely successful. People’s heads are disconnected from the rest of them, and once they were, everything became about what sounds good, and what seems tolerant.

If you ask a kid or young adult now to give you a concrete reoans, outside of social norms, to support any of the SJW causes out there, they will not have one. I’ve tried, believe me, but you see, having a good reason no longer matters.

You are either in this crowd, or you aren’t.

The same with the tribalism that is retaking this culture. Nevermind if the tribes of the ethnic groups we are supporting, even did good things. They could have slaughtered each other, kidnapped children and women and raped them, or eaten people, and we’re still supposed to be proud of it and not call it out.

I thought progress was being able to admit your ancestors made mistakes, and try to correct them, not to say they were right in their own way.

Oh right, if you’re white you have to admit they made mistake, but every other race except Jews and Europeans can take pride in their culture.

I’m not even 100% white, but I don’t really care, I think that my European heritage is still cool. And my non European heritage is also cool. Not all of it, but no one’s history is pure at all times. That’s not really the point.

Man, the next time someone blames white people for slavery, I’d just like to ask what they think the fist modern culture to put laws in place to abolish slavery was…because here’s a hint, it was not a black or Asian or native American culture.

Leaving that where it is, let’s move on.

While I can give an opinion on these issues, it’s not really the point of what I’m saying. The point is, this is what we distract ourselves with these days.

Because we made it impossible for people to believe in absolute truth, they had to find a substitute cause to live for, and Tribalism, of all sorts, is the only one bigger than themselves.

So here we are, America is divided, and other nations are getting more and more divided also. It’s not that this problem is exclusive to America. But I do see it up close and personal here.

I really wonder, at times, how people in my generation, and the ones above and below it, can be so clueless.

No one else seems to realize that all this is by and large, a massive waste of our time.

Let’s assume we achieve Social Equality…whatever that is.

Everyone has the exact same rights. And it’s not the pseudo Equality that really means oppressing White people and men, but actual Equality, which says we’ll all be treated fairly.

Then what?

we’ve made perfect society–allegedly, assuming an Equal Society is perfect, and doesn’t have the same inherent flaws every other man made system will have.

(One obvious one being that no one can be special or unique anymore, so we are all replaceable)

Now we’re can ll live in harmony, right?

How long do you expect that to last?

And when is enough enough for reformers? Progressives? What is the cut off point? When can we stop fighting with each other? When will you be satisfied?

Assuming you ever get there, human reforms last, on average, less than 50 years in their pure state, usually a shorter time than that, before things get twisted by corrupt people who manipulate the system.

I’d give in one decade at most before it all goes to pot, and that’s being generous.

And once that happens, what will you do? Your old methods will not work, they will only strengthen the problem. The corruptors will know how to twist it to their advantage. Will you have any new ideas? Any sources to turn to?

I notice that a lot of people who care about Social Justice now, they want to force all of us to conform to their standards. For now, that’s what they think is best.

But the kicker is, if you force someone else to do what you want, someday, you will be forced to do what you don’t want. You get what you give, karma’s a real B— as they say.

If you lie, you’ll be lied to. If you steal, you’ll be stolen from. If you kill, someone will kill you. And if you enslave someone else to your whims, you will eventually be enslaved to someone else’s.

Or do you really think the people who agree with you will stay in power forever?

What I’m asking any potential progressive reading this is to be honest. Do you think Progressivism is going to last?

If the answer is, realistically, it won’t, because nothing does, then I ask you next:

What will you do when it passes? When the control swings back to people who are not Conservative, but are something else entirely. If you destroy people’s right to choose now, by removing the laws, and protections that allow people you don’t like to defy your ideas–then when they come for you, when you’re the minority again, when you’re the outdated philosophy, and there’re no laws in place to protect you from just being shot for it, is it going to be worth it to you?

“First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—
     Because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—
     Because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
     Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”– Martin Niemöller 

You stuck to your guns at the cost of taking away all of ours, and when we are unable to defend your rights, or our own, because you sacrifice us on your alter of Progress, will you blame us still? Or will you realize it was your choice.

You see, it’s all just a little too unrealistic to me.

Even if the Left gets what they want, and they probably will, for a while. It won’t last.

Tyrants always put on the social justice thing like a hat, and they take it off as soon as it suits them.

Chairman Mao marketed himself as China’s deliverer from oppression of landlords (read: Capitalists), then once everything bought it (or didn’t buy it, as they were broke), he stripped the nation of all it’s wealth, on the grounds that it was wrong to own capital.

Think someone taking away your computer, car, fancy equipment, streaming services, all of it. Leaving you only the devices that will stream propaganda into your home.

And people bought it, but Mao was just another dictator abusing his people, and when it all came out, they were devastated. And morally bankrupt.

What I do not understand about my generation, is that even if you tel them this, they think it doesn’t matter. If you explain to the Liberals what happens if you follow their methods, they do not care. To them, their goals are all important. Even if they burn down society to achieve them. In fact, they applaud that sentiment.

If you destroy the system that gave you a choice, then what will stop someone else from destroying you?

The rioting of this and last year is all great if it’s for a cause you like–what about when it’s for a cause you don’t?

And it weill be, sooner or later.

I know it’s not apruap opion, at least on socoal mediea, to say all this, but it sem to me no one really askes thse wuiet nayore.

I mean, Conservatives aren’t helping ourselves a whole lot with our approach. We just tell them they are wrong, and everything wrong with this country.

Even if that were true, that’s not going to change anything. I’ve gotten farther asking people the real questions. Asking them what’s behind what they think.

People are honestly surprised when I do.

I’m not an expert on every political issue, and I don’t really think I need to be. People my age mostly aren’t, I don’t knew to know the facts about it all to explain the holes in their logic, I just need to know enough to know there are holes.

And in my own, no doubt.

I’m perfectly aware that Capitalism, and Conservatism are not perfect. I know the are not upheld in ideal ways.

But my real problem with the Left is that, they thing they are perfect. They think there are no flaws in their own side.

It’s not just the left, a lot of people on the Right are the same.

And we can just argue and argue until we destroy ourselves, and that will happen, no doubt, sooner or later.

So, in the meantime, what can we do?

The pride and arrogance of the world, is not rally surprising I suppose. It’s always like this.

I think God warned us not to put our stock in worldly ideas because He knows that the world changes every half century or so. New fads come in, new empires rise, and if we build our lives around the one we lived in, we’ll suffer the most when it changes.

The first Christians knew that, and they were too busy being persecuted to really have much room for worldliness in a lot of place,s but they were still warned about it.

So what do we do?

I’ve found it more helpful to my mental state, as well as my life in general, to read theology and Spiritual writings, rather than political ones.

My generation almost doesn’t know the names of the great Moralists and Theologians of the past anymore. We don’t think it matters.

But if you want my two cents, that’s where our Salvation is.

Our Salvation is in God, naturally, but it’s the older writers who had the better understanding of Him, by and large.

There’s a few modern writers who have a clue, mostly because they read the old ones.

I’m not saying we can’t know God, but the trouble is, thanks to our culture, the Desire to know God is much smaller than it used to be.

Even in the Church, we’re drowned out by the buzz of Social Justice.

Thank goodness, not everywhere.

If I were any of you, I’d be paying more attention to the stuff that’s coming out of countries where Christians are persecuted a lot more than here. They”ll be the most clear sighted, because if you might die for it, you’re going to be pretty sure God is real, and Jesus is His Son.

We in the West should remember that we don’t own Christianity. And that it is the obligation of the Church globally to support each other. What our brothers and sisters in the East and Middle East and South understand about God would change us. While we are supposed to offer them our help and protection as much as we can. God set it up that way, but we mostly forget about it.

I’m not against chilling with the internet when you need a break, but we need to find other ways to relax too.

Get our minds off the immediate flow of ideas that is this culture, and on to idea that took years to develop by a lot wiser people than us.

It’s biblical you know, to pay attention to the wisdom of the past.

We’re taught to despise the past now, but they had their good ideas. And remember, some day someone will mock you the same way you mock them. It’s the change of times. Always.

Personally, I just hope I live to see it, myself. It seems cathartic to me. But then again, there’s no guarantee the future will be less frustrating. Which is why focus on God is the most sensible thing to do.

A lot of people are depressed because they focus on how evil other people are.

Newflash: Mankind has been evil since the Fall. It’s not new. You think it’s bad now, read the story of Lot sometime.

Or any of the Prophetic books of he bible.

Or a history of the Roman Empire…

The old sages told us to focus on Heaven, on God, on the hereafter, because they knew the world changed too fast, and yet, it never changes at all. Idealists and Reformers always end up disappointed in the end if they don’t learn to accept that truth.

And we never accomplish our full goals as humans, we really don’t know what we want. We can do our best.

It seems I always end with the same thought.

But there is really no other answer. If I didn’t have God, I really thing I’d be crazy by now. I’m one of those people who’s prone to take all this stuff really seriously, and only my Faith gave me a sense of humor about it enough to put down the weight of the world, and accept that I can’t singlehandedly control things.

I suggest the attitude to anyone getting overwhelmed by all this.

Until next time, stay honest–Natasha

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What do r/tiktok men tell us about men?

/ toseealife / 1 Comment

Hello people, I’m back again.

I just wanted to write a short little post about something I’ve been watching a lot of videos about.

Since my dad moved out, I’ve begun to try to seek out other sources on men, you know, so I have a different perspective, and I try Reddit and Tiktok a lot recently.

I know these are not always reliable, but at the very least you see what people are putting out there and responding to, so it’s something.

And men are complaining about women a lot because they feel unheard.

They say that women don’t expect them to have feelings, be vulnerable, and they think they are just sex addicts who only care about women for what they can get out of them.

I find it odd to read men saying that all this is not true.

Not because I am sexist, though probably I am without realizing it, I think most single people have certain biases or misconceptions about the opposite sex, but I wouldn’t say I’m any more sexist than would be expected from someone in that position.

So I try to be fair to men.

I know at least that I don’t believe a few of those stereotypes. Like that men don’t like kids, I purposely hang out with men or boys who do like kids, I find that very attractive in a man.

And I know plenty of boys who do like kids, sometimes more than adults, and I relate to that, believe me.

In fact, kids love men who like hanging with them, they give better swinging and piggy back rides, they’re stronger. They don’t get tired as fast girls do. It’s great. I loved it when I was a kid.

That said, I have heard and assumed true a bunch of other stereotypes.

I’ll just list them here.

  1. Men don’t spend time with their kids.
  2. Men don’t care about anything with a woman but sex, even if she’s a jerk or a nut job.
  3. Men are slobs and never do housework
  4. Men don’t like to share their feelings
  5. Men are simple
  6. Men mean what they say
  7. Men don’t care about emotional attachment.

Right…

Okay…

I think that number 3 got shot down for me as soon as I talked to a few guys who admitted to being neat freaks or perfectionists.

But guess who told me all this stuff before the internet ever did?

You got it, My dad did.

The only thing my dad didn’t tell me was that men don’t care about their kids or watching them. But he demonstrated it by never watching us…at least voluntarily.

Being depressed, my dad spent most of his off time sleeping or playing video games, and he was well above the age where video games are suppose to be a normal pastime.

My dad told me, before I even asked, that men just cared about sex.

Also that all they wanted from women was to be fed, loved (sex or whatever) and left alone.

He also was kind enough to tell me that men were all pigs, ogres, or slobs, and that was just how they are.

And he gave me the idea that if I ever went out with a boy, all he’d want from me was sex.

I never have gone out, to this day…not for lack of wishing. But the idea also scares me, for obvious reasons.

The reason I’m telling this story is because, I think men don’t always realize that women don’t necessarily get these ideas from other women.

I’ve never had a woman tell me this about men in my memory. The most I’ve heard women say, and not to my face, was that men are emotionally challenged. Which can be true, because they aren’t taught to be otherwise.

But I’ve never noticed any major difference between men and women’s emotions.

Ironically, that’s the one myth I never could bring myself to buy into.

My life might have been easier if my dad was not as emotional as a woman. But my dad acts like most men say women act, and they aren’t allowed to.

He’d unload all his emotional load onto my mom, who never talks about her feelings. He talks more, and he rages out more. My mom hardly ever shows her feelings.

Personally I am the most openly emotional of my siblings, and yet I am reserved in a lot of people’s eyes who don’t know me that well, not like my dad.

(We’re all girls by the way.)

I’ve seen a few women act like my dad, but I’ve seen way more men act that way, and it’s scary.

I don’t normally do this, but, I’m just wondering, to any guys who might be reading this:

Why do you always think it’s women who give ourselves this idea?

Maybe you should consider from time to time that it’s the jerkwad men out there who tell women this so as to avoid responsibility?

In the same way it’s not actual men who often decry women to each other, in my experience. I hear other women telling men that we’re the way we are, and giving them that example, so it screws men up for life to expect that from women.

I mean, it makes sense doesn’t it? It’s the worst examples of each gender that would want to use gender as an excuse to be a pig, or a nag, or a control freak, or whatever you happen to be making excuses for.

I’m not going to blame all men for what my dad told me, my dad is a unique brand of unstable for sure.

I’m just trying to say, you can’t blame my mom or my other female role models for this and if I expect men to act like my dad, it’s my dad’s own fault. If you tell a little girl that, what is she going to think?

I knew even at the time that it was weird for my dad to say it, but it stayed with me. I couldn’t help that.

It was sad, I mostly only saw my dad and his friends as examples of manhood, since I wasn’t around too many other men, and if I happened to like a different man, just as a person I looked up to, my dad was sure to criticize him or undermine it by telling me it’s not how the man really was at home.

Come to think of it, my male relatives didn’t tend to act like my dad did, even at home, not to that extent, but as a kdi you never thing of that.

Sadly families can have a type, so even if all my relative were not shining examples of manhood, it could be totally different for someone else, and that’s a good thing.

I could be jealous of it…but at this point, I’m just glad some girls had better examples, good for you, men who raise the bar.

The bar is really low though, and I don’t think it’s because girls just naturally expect less. It’s that men who aren’t honorable will target girls while they are still young, and jack them up for life, and then when they’re old enough for decent men to actually be interested in them, they already have these misconceptions about them.

Something we all need to realize if we want to be fair to each other.

While I do feel bad for the men expressing their frustration, and I do want to learn from it, I think they are missing a huge point.

Women got these expectations from somewhere, usually from a negative male role model in her life, and just being frustrated with that, without trying to understand it, is being part of the problem.

In her mind a man is not going to try to understand her, so she cannot hope to understand him.

And I think that goes the other way. A lot of bitter men have been jaded either by their moms or someone else, and assume all women are like that.

Women get mad, and forget that the man probably thinks that for a reason.

My dad’s mom was quite a nut job. And though my mom could not be more different from her, my dad never gave up his habit of talking about all women like they were crazy, resentful, and spiteful.

I never could understand how he could say that when my mom was none of those things, in my observation, at least not to him. But he refused to let go of his old image.

If I judged all men by my dad, I’d never get married or date. The idea disgusts me.

But for the record, if I judge all women by my mom, I would never have a close female friend. I have my issues with both my parents, and I have to work that out with them. But I can’t assume all people are like them.

I’m not writing this post to dump on men for expressing frustration.

But here is one thing I think you need to do, if you wish to talk about women assuming things:

I usually write with a disclaimer so that men can see I know they are not all like this. I will say that. I will even give examples of guys who were better than that who I know, sometimes.

I don’t think its right to just dump on men as a gender at all.

I would love it if these men gave us women the same courtesy.

Complain if you want, you probably have earned it, but don’t just say all women think this, acknowledge that some of us don’t, and if we’re taking the time to read your complaints, we probably are at least open minded enough to try.

I guess that goes both ways, if you are reading this, you’re probably an open-minded man. I salute you for that, I wish my dad was.

I just like it to be respectful. I hate being put in a box as much as the next women, I’m starting to think these gender based questions are just a trap for generalizations. We have enough of those already.

One more thing:

Keep in mind that as soon as there’s a stereotype, people will try to pull away from it.

#notlikeothergirls and #notlikeotherguys exist for that reason.

The pick me girl and pick me guy are both based on eschewing stereotypes, so they become their own.

I’ve never really thought I was unlike other girls, by much, and it’s funny, in thinking that I seem to have become “not like other girls” in the eyes of many people. Or at least, a stronger, more confident girl.

I don’t know if I am or am not, but here’s the thing, it just doesn’t matter.

If most women were decent, living individuals, then being like other women would be a good thing. And I’d feel good about it.

If most women are hags, then I don’t want to be like other women.

And if most men are honorable, heroes who try to treat women and each other right, then by all means, make that a stereotype so people will attain to it.

But if most men are pigs, after all, then I want the uncommon man.

But a man can be uncommonly boorish, and a woman uncommonly psychotic, or vice versa, so unusual is not always better.

The point its, my dad tried to be neither uncommonly good, nor stereotypically good, really, so it doesn’t matter, if the intention behind it is the same, what you’re trying to say you are.

Remember friends, the stereotype will always be what you make of it. If you want to be a jackass you’ll make that what the stereotype for men means, if you want to be the protectors, you’ll make that the model. Society doesn’t control you, your values do.

And women are exactly the same. No difference there.

I just want us to try to understand that about each other instead of blaming each other. We’ve all been burned, and often it’s not even something we realize influences us till later.

It is so unfair to hold everyone up to that standard you were set by the people who hurt you though. We all need a chance to be better than that.

I’m talking to myself here too, i till wonder how I’ll treat my first boyfriend if and when I have one. I plan to be upfront with him about my trauma so that he will know if I do react out of it, it’s not about him, but that’s not a magical cure for any problems, it will still take work.

But I’m not so jaded yet that I’m not willing to try to work it out with another human being, instead of on my own, we all have to play the hand we’re dealt or trade up for a better, but not playing at all is just being a lump.

I think that’s about all I got on this, I’m not pretending to be an expert here, but I hop some of it made sense or was thought provoking. All the rage we have now, we need to try to keep our heads.

One very good question to ask your SO if you are having problems with expections, is to say

“Honey, when did you first get the idea that mn/women were liket hat?”

Chances are he/she will look at you blankly at first and not understand, but if you give thema while, even a few days, to think about it, the memeory will

Until next time, stay honest–Natasha

I went to my first College party and it was fricked up!

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

Hello fahm, it’s been a hot minute.

Boy do I have a story to tell all of you though.

Last week this Christian went to her first college party (at least it was basically a college party) with my dance classmates.

Wow…

Yeah…

When I arrived on the scene, all 3 of the guys I knew were already high or slightly inebreiated.

The one girl I knew came high, apparently, but she’s they type you can’t really notice it with, so she was acting pretty normal, just tired and lethargic.

On top of that, the guys were all flirting with us big time.

Well, two of hem are pretty socially awkward, so they didn’t have the best game, the other really has player, f—-boy vives, if you kow what I mean.

You maybe be wondering why I bothered to do to this thing at all, if you’re read my posts at all, you know it’s not really my scene.

I definely wourld recomemen that any Christain who can’t hande peer pressure does not go to one ofthese.

I was asked when I would start drinking at least 4 or 5 times by the same three people, because they apparently had short memories while under the influence…or they were just being annoying.

I’ve never been one to cave into peer pressure, and I wasn’t going to start at a party of total strangers, and people I barely knew, just because I’m legal, thanks. I also drove myself there, which I told them.

I decided to go only to be polite and to not step on the olive branch with people. I’ve been given the sheltered Christian is a snob treatment before in highschool and middle-school and even at college, and I’m sick of people thinking I can’t handle this kind of crap, and that’s why I don’t go.

I’m teling you if I had 10 bucks for every time some idiot has found out I’m a Chrisitan and said soemting along the liens of:

“Oh I don’t think she’s ever heard cussing before.”

[You should have met my dad, girl.]

“You probably don’t know what — is…”

[I’m homeschooled and I watch YouTube, wanna bet?]

“You don’t like gay people right.”

[Personally? I don’t care. Morally, it’s a long story.]

“You should broaden your horizons.”

[Broaden yours first.]

So yeah, I’ve developed a bit of a snarky approach to this over the years.

I mean, Jesus ate with tax collectors, which would be like lawyers or drug lords in the eyes of their public, and harlots, which would be like the LGBTQ and drug community was viewed not that many years ago before Hollywood popularized it, so I think Christians are well within our rights to hang out with worldly people if we feel called to do so.

The apostlate taught us to be “in the world but not of it.”

Paul even said: “I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”’ [1 Corinthians 5:9-13]

So yeah, non Christians always give people like me crap for being exclusive, but any Christ who actually studied their bible knows better than to think that, usually. the ones I’ve been around most of my life don’t subscribe to the exclusivity line.

All that said, going to wild parties is probably not a wise practice.

If it had been too crazy, I would have left right off, but as it was mostly just people doing those things, but not pushing it on other or getting really out there (yet anyway) I decided it was okay, for a short time.

I wouldn’t be going to a rave or an orgy or something like that just to show I could.

Paul said “All things are permissible to me, but not all things are helpful.”

Everything Is Permissible But Not Everything Is Beneficial

If you can keep yourself pure as a Christians, you can do almost anything, short of blatantly forbidden sin. But not all things promote godliness.

Christian can drink alcohol, despite what many say, it’s even suggest to do so by the Bible for illnesses purposes.

But for many Christian with checkered pasts, it’s not a good idea to touch anything that reminds them of that. So they stay off of it.

That choice becomes a trend, and you get denominations that support it, like Baptists.

I have nothing against Baptists, personally, they are often very strong in the word, well founded people.

But I do have an issue with them judging Christian who do not feel it’s necessary to abstain from drinking, (usually Catholics, but some Charismatic denominations also think it’s okay), and say they are unbiblical.

It’s simply not, sorry. Jesus change water into wine.

I know I’ll get hate for saying that if someone who disagree reads it, but I think the Word also cautions us again making something into a sin if it’s not a sin, because it leads to problems like pride and dischord in the church. I’m not willing to make a huge issue out of a fellow believer getting a few drinks once in a while.

But that doesn’t mean I just think we who should all get smashed whenever we want.

I don’t know if anyone cares about my opinion as a laywoman, but assuming you click on this post because you do, he’re my hot take on the use of drugs and alcohol in Christian life.

  1. Drugs are different.

The Bible identifies drugs as a form of witchcraft, one of the greek words for sorcery include drugs and potions. Because they cause hallucinations and mood change and addiction, much more easily than wine or alcohol do. And are more damaging to your body.

People disagree about what is what. But I know that Christian who’ve gotten off even pot, which many consider hardly even a real drug, and saw spiritual effects even from that. And anything stronger then that is a no brainer really.

Drugs are supposed to be completely off the table for Christians, anything to do with witchcraft is.

2. Alcohol.

In proverbs, the writer spends a bit of time talking about drinking. Warning against being a drunkard (alcoholic) and a fool.

Later her writes that his mother cautioned him not be drunk, but to be sober, as king. That wine if for a troubled man to forget his troubles. [Proverbs 31: 4-7]

In other places, the Bible says not to be drunk with wine, or tempted by it in an unhealthy way.

But Jesus drank wine, and even commanded us to do it as part of communication. Noah drank wine. Paul tells Timothy to drink a little wine for his stomach. Maybe Timothy was having doubts about it being okay also, and Paul was reassuring him.

Throughout history, wine and other alcohol was about the only way to clean really strong bacteria, or aid in sickness as a pain reliever or cleanser. It has some nutrients that are good for you also.

It also could clean water in areas where water couldn’t be relied upon to be clean.

The Word says God gave man wine to make his heart glad. [Psalms 104:15]

All this to say, the Bible doesn’t condemn the use of wine, but it does condemn the abuse of it.

A few drinks at a party, not a huge deal.

Getting black out drunk and making unwise decisions, or realizing on alcohol to make you happy or functional, that is a huge deal.

Or, in my case, drinking when you know you’ll have to drive, and while you’re around guys who already acting kind of sus, is just idiotic.

I’m not a victim blamer, but any woman who does that and gets harassed…well, it’s wrong that they did it, but with all due respect, what did you think they were going to do if they already seemed sleezy and you left yourself wide open.

I won’t judge anyone for being taken in if a guy is really good at acting, but if he’s a dip from the start and you made yourself vulnerable…I just think you have to take some responsibility for what happens.

I know it’s taboo to say that now, but I wouldn’t hand a gun to a murderer in a rage either, guys.

I was talking to a guy at my church the following morning about being in that position, and he was telling me he’s often the same around his friends, the designated driver, and they smoke pot and drink while he’s around, but he doesn’t really mind being the odd one out, they don’t really care, I guess.

It can be awkward.

But in a way, you also can be a witness in your actions.

Some might say that you’re just condoning that behavior.

Well, in my experience, most non-Christians at least know that Christian do not condone drugs and assume that offering them to you is pointless. While I was offered alcohol, no one offered my pot, thank goodness, I hate the smell of weed.

The alcohol thing might depend on whether they know any Catholics, who are more famous for allowing alcohol. A lot of people I know assume Catholics and Protestants are the same, I’ve had to explain the difference multiple times.

So the drinking thing can be hit and miss. I usually just explain honestly that while I don’t condemn it at all times, I drive myself almost everywhere, and I need to be smart.

Also I have alcoholism and addicts on both sides of my family, and I don’t need to push my luck that I might have that gene. If I ever do try that stuff, I want it to be around people who will make sure I am safe and wouldn’t spike my drink or push more on me.

So when it comes to condoning it, most people , at least who are my age, already know we don’t. They might think you’re a hypocrite, but I was quite clear abut my standards, so I doubt it.

In fact, what did happen was my female friend who was there and knew I was sober, asked if I’d take her home, even if it meant leaving early, since her mom didn’t want to drive her.

[Her mom was an idiot to drop her off there at all with a bunch of strangers when she was already buzzed, but I guess that’s just how some parents are.]

One of the guys, probably the nicest one, heard her ask me and asked if I was gonna, and I said yes, I’d rather it be me than a stranger at the party.

He said “You’re a good person.”

I thought, “I think it’s just decent, she’s on my way anyway, and not feeling too good.”

I said “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

I’ve never taken someone home from a wild party, but I’ve driven a classmate to the doctor for an injury and taken a lot of girls home from church or picked them up. So it’s something I try to do when I can. Makes it easier for them if their parent can’t bring them and they want to participate. Id’re that them be at crush than out doing other stuff, which I know a lot of the kids who come to church but aren’t really christian spend their time doing if they aren’t at our events.

And as the girl who grew up not going out to a lot of events because my mom didn’t like going out, I feel bad for people who miss out just because no one will take them.

I know this girl too, and she’s been through a lot of crap, so I wasn’t sure leaving her with guys who were already in super clingy, and any amount of other guys who I knew nothing about, one of of whom was casually tossing a knife in the air most of the time I was there, was smart.

Yes, you read that right, a knife. 🔪

In a way, my presence might have protected her from anything worse in the first place, as one guy was putting an arm around her, but kept looking at me like “whacha gonna do about it?”

I dint say anything, but I was right there, with pepperspray in my purse, though he didn’t know that. No way was I going to this without something.

I don’t bash on men but…some guys are just…so disgusting…

Some girls are too, I’ve actually seen that behavior from plenty of girls, even at Church events, so I’m not sexist about it. I’ve know very polite men, and very skeezy ones. Who hasn’t?

But this bunch of them really were walking stereotypes, you’d almost not believe anyone could be that predictably cliche. Do frickboys think it’s cool to act like this? I don’t know.

Well, basically I had one Mansplainer, one r/nice guy, and one frick boy. It was like a show roster was filled or something.

I could handle the Mansplainer and r/nice guy, just reminded me of my dad really, but the frickboy was too tall and muscular for me to feel 100% confident about taking him if he was aggressive, luckily he stopped just short of that, but let me know, like he was trying to be bad, that he was holding back.

So, I’ve told you the learning part of the experience for me, and why I was glad I came if only for the sake of my girl friend.

But just to leave you all with something funny, want to hear the cheap crap they tried on me in order to…I don’t know I think they were trying to see me flinch, but it was more amusing than scary:

So Frickboy is still trying to sound edgy, but the edgiest this guy really is is college frat playboy geek who might be a harasser if you were drunk enough, but probably is too chicken to try anything if you’re fully late.

But he thinks he’s so cool, you know.

And he starts in, I kid you not, on how bad and wild his family is, and he uses, I’m dead serious, the Disney character Maleficent as an example.

Yeah cause when I think dark and freaky I go to Disney villains, immediately…not the myriad of other crap out there that’s way worse. Though I do dislike that Malificent movie.

Basically this genius’es take on it is that Aurora’s parents were trying to keep the bad stuff out of her life, by not letting Maleficent be around her, but that just made her naive.

And ou hv t let the darkens sin to your life so you understand it.

Well, I, being my fiery, and fully over it self, wasn’t just going to take that from this wannabe edge lord.

I literally shook my finger in a sassy manner and said something like “Boy, you dont know the kind of stuff I’ve seen!”

And of course he and the other idiot were like “Tell us!”

But, you see, the kind of stuff I’d seen would probably traumatize these guys if they experience it, I know it traumatized me for years, until God healed me.

And I have a feeling they would have thought I was either crazy, or else being way too intense.

And I could destroy them either way.

So, I wasn’t going to take that bait. For their own good, I don’t mind talking about it to people who can handle it, but my bet is these posers couldn’t.

Anyone who uses a Disney villain as metaphor for evil to the “sheltered” Christian girl is not ready to face real evil, if you ask me.

And of course you may be thinking “What the heck is she talking about?”

I don’t think I should share all of it here, for the same reason. not everyone is ready to hear stuff.

But a lot of people have witnessed the supernatural up close, like I have.

I’ll try to put this in a not too weird way without mincing matters:

In a nutshell, my dad had a stepmother who was a witch for many years, she later became a Christian and one of the nicest ladies I’ve known.

My dad also was in a cult for 2 years, and suffered the after effects of it for all his life up to this point, as far as I know.

I both few up hearing stories I was not ready to hear from him, and then witnessing the effects of it firsthand.

On top of that I went to church for several years where seeing that kind of thing was literally a weekly occurrence for a long time.

My dad let plenty of bad influences into my life via movies and people who should not have been hanging around us girls, though nothing really ever happen to us, but we saw and hear things.

And outside that, I have cousins who clan to worship the devil, and do drugs, and think having a seance is something to joke about.

And I have many friends who’ve encountered the occult, in numerous ways that would shock the lucky people who have not had that experience.

I really think anyone who thinks this stuff is imaginary has not talked to enough people about it, you can’t make this crap up.

I don’t think I need to go into the details for you to get the picture.

And even if it was imaginary, the idea alone is pretty horrifying and torments many people, and I’ve talked to them about it. Been on the phone with people who are panicking because of it, and done many a prayer intervention to help with it, once with a deaf guy of all things where I did in ASL.

And that’s just my firsthand experience. I’ve read and heard plenty more.

Take all that, and picture me, a veteran in this area, listen to some 20 some twat who’s probably done drugs and voodoo or some crap like that, tell me I should understand darkness better.

Create meme "APR (APR , facepalm , face palm )" - Pictures - Meme -arsenal.com

I almost laughed in his face. I understand it, boy, you just have no idea what it does to people who aren’t just playing with it like you are.

And as a believer, I make no bones about that. Sorry if someone reading this has a problem with me calling it what it is, but the occult is a foolish thing to play with, there is always a price. Usually depression and anxiety is the fist thing you have, health problem usually follow.

I don’t want to dwell on it, just thinking about it is creepy and I dont like to give the devil too much attention.

And I’m no one of those Christian who rebukes the devil every time I have a problem, and assumes that demons are responsible for everything. Or that all magic in stories is evil. I love Narnia, and other old classics.

I care about symbolism usually. Magic can be used to depict divine things, but our culture has taken to glorifying it because it’s dark, and because it’s evil, and sexualizing it.

It’s all nonsense, People who actually are terrorized by this stuff don’t like it.

Anyway, so yeah, I got a lot of entertainment out of seeing these scrubs trying to frighten me, like they thought I wouldn’t know what they were at. Once you’ve read The Cross and the Switchblade, not a lot fazes you anymore, I can tell you.

But I also pity them.

I’m reminded of how empty the live of my generation can be. We’re expected to be like this. And many of us are foolish enough to get led astray by it.

Sadly, these three guys aren’t even I’d say all that bad for what they are. There’s worse out there. It’s also sad how much they remind me of guys at church that I know.

Wannabe edgy, but really just insecure.

I know it’s tempting to show off how edgy we can be. As a Christian woman who’s been told one too many times by more uptight believers that I shouldn’t like what I like, I don’t like to be put in that same box.

But I also know as a member of the body, I’m called on to be considerate of my brothers and sisters who have more sensitive consciences. I get it. I once did too. And I dont care if they don’t like that stuff, as long as they step off of me, if it’s not forbidden, then I’m going to have to work it out with God, not you.

If I am doing something that is forbidden, please tell me.

One problem though, before I end, I do have to admit.

Things like sexual content, and occultic content started bothering me a lot less when I read more stuff and watched more that allowed for it. It was no longer shocking.

Usually it just take reorienting myself through the Word or a good message to snap out of it, but if I go without that too long, I get dulled to it.

In some ways, I can’t avoid exposure to all that. I’d see it even if I didn’t want to.

But there are things I can’t control it’s tempting to let them slide.

It hasn’t made me engage in sexual or occultic activity, but it has made it seem less of a problem.

While it’s good that I am fazed less by people who do those things, the idea of the things themselves should still be grotesque to me.

It is if I really think about it, but the trick of media is to get you to see something in semi positive light, until you no longer feel triggered by it, and then to get you to either do it, or at least laugh at it and be too uncertain to tell anyone else the truth about it.

Again, all things are permissible, but not all things are helpful, or edifying.

I think I’ll leave it at that.

Until next time, stay honest, and don’t do drugs–Natasha

Enemies to Lovers and Crackshipping

/ toseealife / 1 Comment

Hey, it’s been awhile. I know, I’m sorry, I was writing other stuff.

I decided to do another fandom post, why not?

Let’s talk about crack ships.

I’ve been on Wattpad a lot lately (uploading fan fiction) and I discovered that peopel acutally write whole fics that are just analyzing ships…and people actually read that.

Okay, to be honest, I read it too, but I thought I was the only one who cared why people ship things. Like, I like discussing pros and cons, but from what I see in fandoms it usually is just “It’s cute and sexy so I ship.”

I never ship stuff based off that alone, usually. But I enjoy cute and sexy as much at the next girl, I suppose.

(my version of sexy is probably pretty homeschooled, though.)

Anyway, in the mha fandom there’s been a ship since last year or so that’s gotten a following for being a crack ship, and it got me thinking why do people ship crack ships?

I always thought it was sexual addiction, honestly. I mean, I’ve shipped a crack ship maybe once or twice because of a fan fic I wrote where it kind of made sense, but I don’t take it seriously outside of that. So I never got it.

And I was a little judgy about it, to be honest.

But I really don’t care if people ship Jack Frost x Elsa, or whatever, if they want to do that. The crack ships I find disturbing are the ones between adults and kids, or siblings, or other inappropriate people.

You can ship whatever you want if it’s not creepy, I think, but don’t make it creepy, guys…

So the ship that got my attention on all of this was DustBunny, or ShigarakiXMirko.

I never heard of it till I clicked on this one video on YT, and I thought “this cannot be a thing…what?”

But then I watched it and it was funny, and I thought “okay, I see why people think it’s funny, but is are they serious?

And a lot of fans think shippers are crack heads, especially crack shippers, kind of goes with the name…

I’m here to say you all should just screw off if you’re going to seriously think that shipping is weirder than the stats arguments you other nerds get into over shows and movies and books.

I mean critisize me for shipping if you think it’s bizarre, but don’t act like it’s weirder than what the “intellectual” fans do, for crying out loud. I can’t stand hypocrisy.

Anyway, I’m not trying to start a fight, just saying people should stop acting like it’s better to be a weird fan for one thing than for another, it’s all the same, isn’t it?

Except people who consume content just to get sexual pleasure out of it…that’s weird.

Anyway, why should any of you care?

I assume you like ships if you’re reading this, so let’s ignore that part.

Is it worth it to analyze a crack ship, that’s the question I want to answer.

[I’m also going to talk about why this particular kind of Crack Ship is so popular, and why I think it matters in the second half of this post, so read to the end if you want the deep stuff.]

Firstly, I think it depends on what you mean by worth it.

Will it make it more likely to happen? No.

We all know crack ships will probably never happen, ever.

But is it worth it to ask why people like it? Sure.

There’s always people who are in it just for the sexual content, but there’s always some people who actually put real thought into it.

And if you can’t judge humanity by the person, I think you can’t judge shippers by them either.

I mean romance is something most people want, so why let the perverts out there stop you from appreciating it, that’s my attitude.

And whie you don’t have to ship Dustbunny to understand what I’m saying, I’m going to use it to illustrate what I mean:

First of all, a crack shp has to be between people who it doesn’t make a whole lot of canon sense for them to be together.

The reason is that it strongly appeals to some people to change canon.

Some are just perves, again, but for the more serious cases, I notice a trend.

Crack ships tend to pop up around characters people think are lacking something. Whether it’s that they are lonely, or perhaps morally bankrupt, or too arrogant, people use a ship as a vehicle to imagine character development within.

And whether the two halves of the ship even know each other is not really the point. The person is picked base on the trait the shipper thinks will help the other person the most.

Case in pont: In MHA, Shigakria and Mirko have never met…and may never meet, quite frankly.

But that just makes it better for a crackshipper, because there are no limitations that way.

They won’t look at facts, the look at possibilities.

I call it “what if” scenarios, (and that was before I found out that was a kind of fan fiction, btw)

And you may ask “if it’s not going to happen, then who cares?”

My answer to that is: You can’t go through life thinking of what seems like it’s possible, and expect to ever exceed very mediocre expectations.

I mean, everything looks impossible and unlikely to us until it happens. When you were a kid, driving a car, tying your shoe, or riding a bike seemed like it would never happen. It was a whole new world of rules and skills you did not have. When you didn’t know how to read, reading seemed out of reach. Books were a thing you didn’t get.

Then you learn those skills, and you can’t imagine not being able to do it anymore. When you really learn something it’s hard to forget it.

It’s called expanding our horizons.

Stranger things have happened in real life than it would take to make most crack ships happen, if you chose to take that route.

2. The second objection that might be made is that ships like this are creepy and weird, not becuase of age gaps or being related, but because they are built on nothing and are often between characters on opposite sides of the good-evil conflict.

That’s more likely because if they were on the same side, chances are they would interact, and it wouldn’t be 100% a crack ship then, there would be come canon material for it.

So a hero-vilia ship is usually a crack ship, I’ve seen a few canon ones from time to time. I actually usually enjoy them. You can’t beat stakes like that.

But mostly, it’s crack.

Sometimes they are creepy, I’ll give you that. And it’s probably always going to be weird.

But there are some objections I think miss the point.

One being: He or she is a villain.

Duh, that why people are shipping it, for the redemption arc part (more on that later)

Two: There’s a slight age gap.

An age gap of 5 years or so is not worth making a fuss over. Maybe after 8-10 years you could question it, but I think it’s only creepy if it’s between an adult than teenager/kid.

People will throw the age thing in there when it really shouldn’t mattter. Only dating people who are with 1 or 2 years of you is going to be pretty limiting, especially since people are at such different levels of maturity at any given age. I’m more mature at 22 than most of my older family members three times my age are. If I let age be the only factor I’d be in a tight spot.

Crack ships do often have bad age gaps though, but as I said those are the ones I do think are wrong.

The ones that are small, and that the only reason people are objecting…I just don’t get it. Pick a real reason, man.

Back to the moral question:

I think me and some other people wonder if it’s really okay to ship heroes and villains.

I mean, my whole objection to ship  Toga from MHA with anyone, hero or villain, is that she’s psychotic, kills whoever she likes, and shipping her with anyone is kind of like saying you want them to die. (Which makes me wonder if all the people who ship her with Bakugo have ulterior motives.)

I don’t find it cute, sorry.

I think that’s one other objection that is valid.

People contemplate that crack ships ignore very important parts of the characters. Like that they are killers, or abusive.

Sadly, canon ships also do that, as Naruto proves…but yes, fans do it more.

It’s very true. Toga is one example. But you could name a bunch more if you’ve been in any fandom for a certain length of time.

And I don’t support that. I think if to ship someone, you have to ignore part of who they are, a big part, because it’s just too repulsive otherwise, then you cannot ship them. Unless you intend to rewrite the character entirely.

But then…it’s not really them anymore.

When I was younger and less mature I used to think that approach made sense, but now I don’t. If I have to change a character to like them, I just should like them. I can be mature enough to admit that.

Like, could I like Toga if I ignored her psychotic tenacies? Sure…probably, I’m not immune to the weird cute act the author pushes with her (why doe anime do that?).

But I refuse to overlook part of character in order to like it. She may be cute-ish, but she’s psycho, and not in a joking way, in a legitimately will murder you type of way. That’s not okay with me. If I wouldn’t ship it in real life I won’t ship it in a show either.

But I don’t think Dustbunny and other ships like it are on the same playing field.

You have to look at the characters involved. Shigaraki is not like Toga. He’s crazy…ish. But we also have signs that he can be more human, self controlled, and mature than she’s ever going to be.

And then if you are caught up on his backstory, you have a reason to think he was not naturally the way he is. All For One has trained him to be sick and twisted. But if you can be trained one way, you can be trained another.

I was watching one video and some idiot commenter was saying that Shigaraki justifies his actions because of his trauma, which is just not okay, because characters who have it just as bad as him are still good.

And I thought “When has Shigaraki ever justified anything he does because of trauma?” I can’t name a time. He claims he has the right to do it, because AFO taught him that, but he never says it’s good, or that it’s okay because of what happened to him. He does not really seem to think about what happened to him as unfair, he thinks he is just made to destroy (again, thanks to AFO).

Seriously, do we even watch the same show. Dabi justifies his actions because of his past, so does Twice, so does Spinner. All a bunch of victims, really. But Shigaraki doesn’t. He is brainwashed into thinking he should destroy by his ever helpful and despicable master. Talk about blaming the victim.

Unlike Toga, who actively seeks out twisted things as part of her whole schtick about doing what she wants.

Shigaraki is always referring to AFO teaching him to be this way, like he knows he didn’t come up with it himself.

That give the redemption arc fan a hope he might be made to see it’s all a lie.

Not much of a hope, perhaps. but there is some.

(And for the record, I’m still saying it’s going to happen, though not because of this ship, but I think if I’m trope savvy, that’s what’s coming. )

I guess this is kind of a hot take on Shigaraki’s character, as well as the ship.

The reason I need to talk about both is because people object to the ship because they think he’s a schmuck who cannot be redeemed.

And that’s hypocritical, because most people who complain about that will ship other stuff if they like it, regardless of how bad the person is, but whatever.

If that was true, I’d agree, it’s useless to ship. It’s like shipping Emperor Palpatine with someone, I’m sure people do, but decent people don’t talk about it.

But I actually like ships for villains who are more victims of other villains, because the ship is sort of a vehicle to introduce the idea of happiness to them. Something they would fight for, something they might defy their programming for.

I mean if you won’t do it for love, what will you change for?

I was watching a video about the enemies to lovers trope earlier today that basically summed up how I think of it.

It’s hard to reform villains in a way that makes sense in story. Either you do what Avatar did, and humble them through hardship and the truth about their past, but that is not going to work for every villain, obviously, if they already know their past and are evil because of that.

Your other option is for the villain to start to care about something.

(We’re gong to ignore the Naturo/shonen anime standard of beating them into submission and then they somehow have a change of heart. That never works irl.)

What would the villain carea bout?

Maybe there’s a vague good concept you could try, but most often, it has to be another person. What else can get past our defenses?

It can be their son or father, like in Star Wars, but family is always a gamble at the motivation for reforming. It might work, but then, if they cared about their family at all, why would they be evil?

MHA did this with Endeavor, but Endeavor also change because he realized getting what he wanted was not really what he wanted, and he didn’t get it the way he had wanted it anyway. That humbles him, and he starts looking to be a good dad as an alternative goal to outdoing All Might.

Very well done, but rare in real life. I would know.

So, what many authors do is use a romantic love interest. The reasons are simple.

A: Romantic feelings are some of the most powerful ones we experience, they can make people do both good and bad things, crazy things, or beautiful things, depending on what kind of person you are.

B: A Love interest is usually someone new, someone the villain cannot already resent the same way they would old friends or family. Someone who can surprise them and defy expectations.

Most redemption arcs turn on the idea of “new”

I mean, it’s biblical isn’t it? A new life, a new heart, a new spirit, that’s what we’re told. A new beginning.

You need the “new” Much more than the old to redeem someone, both in real life and in fiction.

Because it’s “new” You always run the risk of people rejecting it, but if they can accept it, that’s where real change comes in.

And that is why Enemies to Lovers is so popular. It allows both people to become new, and do new things, have new feelings. But still be themselves.

And, what no one talks about, but I think we should, it’s also most of the Bible, if not all of it.

God’s dialogues with the people of Israel, Judah, and then the Church, all read like they’re describing an enemies to lovers ship between a hero and villain.

God leaments the poor decisions His people make, and gets angry at them, but then He promises they will become new, and He would love them and heal them if they just come back to him.

We all crave that in the enemies to lovers story, and any other romance story.

Gd compares his relationship with us to a marriage for a reason.

Marriage captures something about God and us that no other relationshp can.

Friendship relies on the idea of being equal to each other.

Parent/child, relies on the idea of being unequal but still loving and giving to each other, even knowing it will never be an equivalent exchange.

But the idea of lovers is more than that.

Romance doesn’t even ask if you are equals (unless you want to kill it), it doesn’t ask who’s giving more. At the peak of romantic feelings, both people only care about seeing and drinking in the other person.

And so, it makes sense that for God, the absolute climax and epitome of closeness to us is where we’ve forgotten who’s more powerful, and who’s able to give more. We give all of ourselves, and God gives all Of Himself, and who cares which is more, none of us will think of it anymore. God never seems to think of it at all except to teach us humility.

The pinnacle of Love is to stop caring about measuring or defining it by anything, and to just do it, be it, really.

I now, a lot of us can’t imagine that. I’ts pretty much a forgotten idea, but I still find traces of it sometimes even in modern stories.

Now, a fiction trope can not begin to encomapps taht, but I would defend the Enemies to Lovers trope at one of the few that can even get a taste of it.

Relating all this back to Dustbunny, I won’t claim it’s quite what I’m talking about.

But my goal was to defend the legitimacy of shipping these kinds of ships. Even if it’s mostly for fun, we need the idea that people an be redeemed, especially by love, to stay alive.

I’m actually kind of concerned by how hard people find it to understand this simple idea, we want redemption.

We’re made to want it, and people who hate on fans who vie for it are…well, kind of pathetic. And it’s almost inhuman.

Hate on a ship for any other reason, but hating it because it requires redemption to work…I mean, do you know any healthy couples in real life?

The truth is, peeps, there is going to be an element of enemies to lovers in every real relationship you ever have. We are all the villain sometimes, and we can hope, we are all also the hero. I’ve been both, you have too.

And if we cannot, even in concept, agree with the idea that we will need redemption, and that it will come because of love, I don’t think we should be in a relationship at all.

If you cannot admit your’e the villain sometimes, but also rise up to being the hero, you are not ready for love. Even the more family affection type of love has elements like that in it. And deeper friendships do too, but superficial ones don’t.

That’s where it is people.

My opinion is, if you hate on enemies to lovers for the sole reason it’s that, you have issues, and are probably a narcissist. We all have to change, we all have to transform. Especially in marriage.

Someone else said that the beauty of Enemies to Lovers is that is is someone seeing all the worse parts of you first, and still being able to fall in love with you. We all hope to have enough good in s for someone to love us even if they see our bad.

I think that is so true.

And hot…just saying.

But even for me, who’s never dated (not for lack of wishing), I can see why it appeals to us.

We’re all insecure. It’s been popularized to just own it and like that you have flaws, but that’s bullcrap. If you like your flaw, it’s not a flaw, is it?

But the more honest among us now that, and we just want someone to look past it.

I was taught from birth on upward that my flaws were too big of an obstacle to love me. That my pain would make it impossible for me to be cared for, and that my boldness would drive everyone away.

I still struggle with believing anything different than that. I’ve met a lot of weak people who refuse to get close to me because of my edges.

I’m not a mean person, no one would tell you that, I just have a lot of fire and at times I may be harsh without knowing it. Working on that. But never with any real intent to be cruel. Some people get that about me, and others refuse to.

I have learned though, that people will back off from whoever they think is tougher than them.

So maybe I like that Enemies to Lovers trope for that reason. It happens in real life, people have attested to it, and I hope that there is someone who will treat me that way.

I like the idea that what repels some people about me would attract someone else, the right person. I just have to find them.

I think also, the loneliness factor is thing. Villains are lonely, so when the trope is hero-villain specifically, we can relate. Heroes can be lonely too.

As Shakespeare pointed out, we are the most like God when we show mercy, and that is what Enemies to Lover is about. having mercy, maybe on ourselves as well as the other person, since often there is a moment where one or both halves of the ship realize they were wrong and did some bad stuff.

It’s about hope, too.

Basically, it’s like God towards us, and I find that beautiful.

the Bible says “love covers a multitude of sins.”

It better, right? Or what would all of us do?

So with that really in depth take on this, I think I’ll end, and I’ll see you all next time–Natasha.

A Narcissistic Culture

/ toseealife / 1 Comment

I’m back!

Sorry for the absence.

I do have a lot of subjects to write about right now.

I tend to avoid politics on this blog unless something catches my attention, but I’m always thinking about culture.

Something I’ve been thinking about it lately is how in Church, we often go with the flow. We address issues that the world thinks are important, but we neglect the ones they don’t think about.

Not that it’s wrong to address things the world thinks about, I think we have to, in a way.

But also, looking at The Gospels, I find it odd that Jesus didn’t spend all that much time talking about what the world thought was important.

Under Roman Occupation, he didn’t talk much about the Romans. He addressed it from time to time as people asked him, but His long sermons are not about that.

He didn’t talk about te libeiton of the Jews from Romans, but from sin.

And looking around nowadays, I wonder if he’d be any different.

It’s so easy to get distracted by what’s gong on around us.

Things about race, gender, and nationality, it’s all anyone wants to talk about now.

And people are demanding respect and taking pride in these things.

Even christians, too many Christians.

My church, which is one of the better ones I think, still has a little group of LGBT people who attend. I don’t care if they attend, but their attitude about it makes me wonder if they come only because the church does not call out the world on that not being biblical.

I was talking to my cousin and his friend about the Bible’s stance on homosexuality, and why it’s consider wrong, just an open conversion, no hate, and explain it well,

And they didn’t really disagree with my points, or that I don’t like how kids are encouraged to vote on sexual topics they do not really understand yet.

But they admitted that they are afraid to express and negative views of it because the have friends or family who subscribes to it all, and are going to be livid if they disagree.

I acknowledged it’s hard in this culture to think for yourself…it’s always is hard in any culture to go against the flow.

But I told them as a Christian, I can’ just ignore it. I can’t blend in. It’s not allowed.

And that’s how I see it.

Sure, it’d be easier to walk around my liberal campus wearing some pro LGBTQ badge, and deck out my car and say that God loves gay people (which He does, but people use that phrase to mean something totally different, that God loves their lifestyle, and that is just no biblical), and play that game.

People claim it’s so hard to support the community. Are you kidding me? It’s so flipping easy. It’s easier to do that than to have an original thought, that’s for sure.

Instant approval, instant clicks, people commending you for sticking up for it. As well as BLM, and Feminism, and everything else.

Sheesh, to get approval just for saying words, whether you ever act on it or not, is so stupid.

“26 For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.

28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, 30 backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; 32 who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.” (Romans 1)

I find it disgusting to cater to this. I’d like to get the clicks, view, and likes that the people who do this get, but I’m not willing to bend myself in order to get it. There’s more important things than likes out there, people.

Someday no doubt that’s going to get me cancelled if I’m every popular enough for anyone to care what I think…but oh well, they cancelled all the Apostles too…to the extreme.

It’s getting extreme here too. People are attacking churches more and more. What’s funny is the church’es stance isn’t even that strongly put in the West, but they attack us anyway.

Sheesh.

Islam is actually harsher on homosexuality than Christian is, but I never hear of the LGBTQ community attacking mosques…you know, because Muslims actually might fight back…at least, I assume that’s the reason.

Yeah, so brave. Attack the people who won’t retaliate. But that’s always the way isn’t it.

I’m not here to hate on gay people, I’m just trying to be honest about it all.

And it’s not just gay people, it’s all groups now.

I don’t voice my opinions too loudly at my college because I’m pretty sure I’d lose my grades over it, so I mostly only discuss it out of class. And starting a fight in the middle of a lecture does seem rude.

But I don’t cater to it either.

And it’s all good to preach and teach about how we need to love ourselves and respect ourselves, and not be too harsh…

But when is it time to talk about going against the flow? When do we talk about what no one wants to hear?

Cause I can tell you, the problem with our culture isn’t really all the Pride stuff, that’s just a symptom.

It’s how prideful we are in our personal lives, self seeking, comfort seeking.

We do give lipservice to this in church, but we don’t actually enforce it. We don’t ask people to do more than they feel like doing. We don’t reward people for being strong in their convictions. Instead we think they are too worked up.

Even I think that.

Of course, it is true sometimes. But I’ve gotten reprimanded for protesting that a Youth Leader played songs that talked about sex and making out with the same gender on the way home from a mission trip…yeah….

Am I really the problem in this scenario?

Her excuse? “This is what those kids listen to.”

My thoughts? “This is what you listen to. What’s your point? It was still wrong.”

I can’t tell people what to listen to at home, but on a public trip? With the church?

That was yeas ago now, I don’t think i would happen with our current youth leaders, but that it happened at all was boring, because I knew it wasn’t just this one person, I’ve met so many people like his.

I’ve always gotten a rep for being more vigilant about this stuff, and I’ve had people tell me they were sorry for no having a better attitude about it, but they have never acted like my friends.

And, I’m not a super conservative person. I mean, I watch anime, I read fan fiction, and I listen to songs with cuss words in them…now.

And I don’t like that part, but I decided that I’m not going to be able to avoid cuss words in life, and it doesn’t make the whole song bad if the song is about a good thing, and they use saltier language. But I don’t listen to songs about sex, drugs, and hooking up. I want the message to be good.

I won’t throw out Evanescence because of a few swears, but I won’t listen to “shape of you” just because it has no swearing, sine it’s just about hooking up for a night. You get my point?

And I can’t force that standard on anyone, but I do have it for a reason, and I don’t have an issue telling people that.

This is not even the biggest problem, but my thought is that people would not give up anything they happen to like in the world, even if it was the right thing to do. God may tell me to stop listening to and reading and watching his fault I have prayed about it, and I am careful, though I do need to reevaluate somethings from time to time.

But I do think about it, I don’t get the feeling other people often do, I’ve talked to a few who mentioned it, but don’t mention every dropping something because of it.

I’m trying to be less judgmental than I used to be.

Like when it comes to smut, I believe it’s wrong to read it, but I dont think someone is horrible if they are tempted to. I’m not immune to this stuff either, I have hormones, I’m not dead.

But I have to seriously think about what I want my idea of sex and love to be when I do get married. Do I want to think it’s all about the body? Or do I want it to be about what’s inside, the soul, the mind, the heart?

And I’ll admit, sex can be more than just a physical experience, the Bible is clear about that, but I think smut (porn, you now) kind of makes that worse, not better. People with a porn addiction usually admit that real life sex gets less satisfying if you’ve fed yourself this fake image of it.

Porn and smut are all about making something so flawless it’s no longer real.

And in real life, emotional moment can be awkward even at their most heartfelt, people are damaged, and that gets in the way.

And our bodies are not flawless, even a model has blemishes somewhere.

And we have hygiene and weight issues at different times, or we can get sick. Women have periods, you get my drift? No one is sexy all the time.

If you grow up expecting that, then you aren’t going to be disappointed by sex, because you’ll expect it to be like everything else in life, a thing you do that improve with time, but is not perfect.

But if you grow with the porn version of this, you think sex is somehow unlike other human experiences, it can be flawless.

In the end it sets you up for less, not more pleasure. And that is one reason the Church has never endorsed it.

People think the church discourages sex, and while some churches do, the faith itself doesn’t.

In fact, it encourages it. A lot. Sex with responsibility.

And on that note, I don’t see how recreational sex is a great foundation for a really mature relationship. You treat sex cavalierly, and it’s the only thing that makes marriage different from other relationships. So what make it special to be married then? Might as well just be friends with benefits.

And that about all marriage amounts to now with a lot of couples. I think they are puzzled as to why it’s so unfulfilling.

I’m not saying it never woks out, some people just know how to make it work, but the thing is, marriage used to be something people were expected to figure out, whether it came naturally to them or not, and not it’s seen as a matter of finding the right match to perfectly balance you out.

I think you should date with that in mind, but if you end up marrying someone who doesn’t suit you perfectly, that’ s no reason to throw it out. If you’re not married to a psycho or a pig, you can probably find a way to work stuff out. People just don’t want to be inconvenienced.

And I say that because I’ve had the same experience in friendship. People cannot handle the smallest bit of friction and they bail as soon as conflict happens. I’ve had that happen to me so many times. Because, I’m replaceable, in a world of shallow friendships, and online friendships, if someone annoys you or disagrees with you, why not just dump them?

And if I’m not replaceable, you would never know, because you didn’t get that close to me.

I get it though, I’ve felt the pain for being ditched so many times because I don’t view people that way, and it stings to lose them. I’m working on being okay with that.

But therapy wasn’t the most helpful here because the attitude in therapy is that people are not worth your time if they piss you off.

And that’s kind of a shallow way to look at it.

Someone may piss me off because I have a problem, not them. Or we both do.

Maybe people are worth keeping around.

But you won’t hear that idea anymore in mainstream culture.

It’s not wonder we’re all dying of loneliness, we’re okay with supporting people as long as they are needy, lost lambs, with a victim mentality.

But if someone has a really different perspective, and is just hard to deal with, ditch them.

Perhaps I am annoyed because it doesn’t end well for me, and okay, that’s a fair point.

But I also don’t shut people out of my life just for disagreeing with me, so….

The double standard annoys me, if I was to do that as a Christian I’d be judgmental. But if they are just not “comfortable” round me, that’s their right, they don’t need to get over it.

I have gotten more attention from people when I was upset in front of them, and treated more nicely, than when I’m just my regular, more confident self.

I don’t mind if they comfort me, I just wonder why it goes away after that. I kind of learned the hard way that sympathy doesn’t equal a real bond.

(Something Naruto really needed to learn in Shippunden.)

This is why I think we really have too much attention on ourselves now.

We are narcissistic.

I can be too, but I am aware of it and trying to get better. The point is, the culture encourages me to be self centered, and often the church does too.

We have to be aware of these influences, if we’re going to be better, and set apart.

Or we’ll be like ships on the ocean, “infants tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine.” (Ephesians 4:14)

Doctrine could just mean any popular teaching now.

I think a good question to ask ourselves right now is: How far am I wiling to go to have self-actualization (or whatever you call it)

Am I?…

Willing to sacrifice the happiness of other people?

Willing to cut people out of my life who do not agree with my plan and decision making

Willing to promote it with violence, anger, and verbal attacks?

Willing to make others suffer if it gets me what I “need”

Willing to enforce laws about these things.

Willing to teach others to do the same, and support them even if their lifestyle is no good in other ways.

Willing to listen only to people who support me in this, and never fact check what they are saying.

If you answered yes to any of the above about anything, religion, race, gender, sexual orientation, ethnic background, etc.

Then you are elevating that thing not only to your primary focus, (and that thing is yourself, in some form or another)

Also going to an extremist extent that many Believers would not even go to. I question sources within my religion, and I don’t condone violence done in the name of Jesus. My faith has checks and balances.

But the faith of Self Identity has no checks and balances, because you (Or I) are/am the final word on everything.

But if we all are, then none of us are, you see how that works?

Anyway, most people won’t admit that they are worshiping themselves?

How can I be a narcissist? I’m too smart for that. I’m too self aware. All my complaints are valid, all my actions are justified, all I want is reasonable, all I am is perfect. So I can not be a narcissistic.

And the scary thing is that sound like the lyrics to a popular song or a TED Talk.

Ugh.

Well, anyway, the first step is admitting you have a problem. literally. To stop being a narcissist, you have t admit you’re a narcissist, that’s when you begin to stop being one.

That said, I think I’ll end this for now. more posts coming soon.

Until next time, stay honest–Natasha

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Does Christianity work on me?

/ toseealife / Leave a comment

Hey fahm.

You know, I never talked like that before I liked Camie’s character in mha, it’s funny how you can change how you talk based on things like that.

Well, I think it’s fun to have more of an accent anyway.

How’s everyone doing? I know I haven’t updated this blog a whole lot lately. I’ve been writing a lot on Wattpad.

But hey, I’m up to 2.3k views on one story, if y’all want to go check that out.

[ https://www.wattpad.com/user/worldwalkerdj ]

I’ve also not had a lot to blog about, other than getting a new kitten (who’s doing great still btw, I wrote more about her here: New Kitten)

But an important milestone happened last month, it’s officially been 2 years since my dad moved out.

WOOOOO!

I cannot believe it’s been that long. Still feels like a few months ago he was here.

And I still can’t believe it was mostly my efforts that made it happen, with some help from my siblings.

It’s so weird. That’s a part I rarely tell people who actually know me, I feel like it would shock them. People already don’t get why I was happy about the whole thing.

In hindsight, I could have been more tactful about it, but I am an open book…

People have to get used to that about me, it’s a shock at first.

To this day, we do still feel bad about it at times. My dad didn’t hesitate to lay the guilt trip on thick when I did talk to him for the first time.

And it bothered me.

I still get dreams about it all too. They tend to make me doubt myself, my worth, my decisions. My sisters gets them too.

But the difference now is, he’s not here. We can replay all his words in our heads, but he’s not here to say them. At some point, either you embrace that or you don’t, I think.

Something that bugged me a lot about it all too is this:

Does Christianity really work?

If my mom and dad really believe, how can they act the way they do? Why are they not kinder?

But recently, I’ve realized I could ask myself the same questions.

Christianity ought to make me happy all the time, if it’s true. It’s truly an amazing belief. Puts everything in the right place, mean that life has a meaning beyond what we can imagine.

I think the very reason it doesn’t make me feel that way all the time is because humans cannot hold the whole truth in our heads for very long. You grow into it…

But really even a piece of Christianity is enough food for thought to last you your whole life, so the whole things is even harder.

Other religions usually just have piece of Christianity in them, and the make more of one thing than another. Then add their own stuff to it.

If we could fully realize it at all times, I think we would live completely differently always.

But our focus shifts from one element to another.

In my life, I’ve accepted that God highlights certain aspects of it for me when I need them. That I can’t try to focus on it all at once, I grow in one thing at one time, and another thing at another time. And hat is the only way I think we really can live.

If that’s not your life, you’re probably not grown at all.

And why would I want to exclude certain parts of it anyway? I want the whole picture.

All the immature Christians I know tend to end up stuck on one thing, and they refuse to leave it, ever.

You’ve met the type no doubt, if you life in the West. They harp on about judgment, or holiness, or grace, till you’re sick to death of it.

And you wonder “what about all the other elements of it?”

Yeah, being a well rounded Christian is kind of like being the avatar. You can’t rely too much on one element, you need all of them together, or you’re off balance.

God is a consuming fire, you have to know him as such–but he’s also the living water, and you need to know Him as that.

And really, that’s what make God interesting, isn’t it? As well as people, if you really get to know them.

We spend too much time in our niches now. It used to be you had a friend you learned different stuff about that friend.

But now I can have online friends for each interest i my life, and never need to go beyond that, ever. And it’s no wonder I feel like I don’t really know any of them that well.

That said, I can’t always know why some Christians don’t live the way I want.

But there’s two point to be made here.

  1. Christians are never promised to be 100% perfect while on earth. We’re told that will not happen, n fact–and we wouldn’t’ be able to relate to anyone else if it did.
  2. It’s entirely possible my idea of what everyone should live like is shallow and narrow minded. Do I know everything? No.

And those who criticize Christians for that reason are actually kind of arrogant. Like, you think you can judge us for still having issues? Do you have a better way of life? Are you doing so much better?

Christianity does not promise to fix all you problems overnight. It promises to save your soul.

What you do with that, is going to be a journey.

But whats the alternative?

I’m convinced that there is no way of life we can take as human that it will turn us into angels.

But Christianity is the only thing that will make anything close to it.

The idea is how close are we getting?

Christian re not always good peopel, but mor chirsitn are good people than people who have no God, and no faith. Or who have iath ina ahrshed God.

Not all charitiyes are chirsitn, but most of them are.

Not all world chagner have ben chirsitnst–but mst of the ones we still revere to this day were.

Not all really good books and sotreis are christiant, but many of the ones we still like after so many centureis were.

One has to look at the tendancies of man, not isioated indivuaile, sometiems.

While my dad was a jerk, and still is. I can’t being to guess how much worse it would have been if he did not at atle thav eto rpetend to be Christiatn. If it spared me one bad moment out of two, then it was something.

And he at least taught me to trun to God, even if he did not practice it himself the way I think he shoudl ahve.

My dad, while the most destructive force in my life next to my own human nature, also ushered in a lot of moments of truth for me.

Do I like him? No.

Can I ignore that? No.

God brings good out of bad, that’s what He does. He doesn’t just keep all bad away from us.

I find that view of life escapist.

I know that people often see this explanation as a christian cliche, and bitter, angry people do not want to hear it anyway.

But I’m to the point where I think: Well, sure, it’s cliche…but what else could you conclude based on the world around us?

God has to be good, I know, because if God was evil why would anything good still exist?

An Evil God would not bother giving us free will, would He?

You can’t reconcile the presence of Good and Evil in the world without a good God giving his creations free will, it’s just not possible.

If God was evil, we all literally wouldn’t have a prayer. If God didn’t care, then we would all be dead already from our own stupidly.

If God is Good, but does not force us to be, then we have our answer. Evil has consequences. To stop them is to render it meaningless to choose at all.

You can’t give your kids keys to the car, and then put it on autopilot, and say that they drove it. It’s just not how choice works. If they crash it, that was a a risk you took.

But it’s more of a risk to not let a kid learn how to do things for themselves, is it not? If you cannot coddle them through life, what will they do?

And God could do that for us, but he seems more interesting having adults, or at least kids with some sense of self.

Every child understands the idea of choice, it’s us older people who try to say we don’t have one.

It’s an old answer, but maybe let’s old because it’s true.

We should consider that, you know.

Some things are just true, so they are eternal.

I know that people who have been hurt do not want to hear that it had to happen.

And maybe it didn’t, I’m not sure sin ever “had” to happen.

But it does.

We all do it.

I’m inclined now, at 22, to think it’s a better use of my time to let God heal and teach me to live better, than to whine about how it all sucked.

Jesus suffered too, after all.

I still have lots of memories of self pity, but God willing, they are getting less.

And I do have some things I still need to work through, but I’m leaning also that it is not the most important thing in the world.

I guess, I’m saying, we can complain about our lives…or we can take the offer to have them made new.

But guess what, whether you take Gods’ offer or not, you’re life is still going to have bad things in it.

It’s just a matter or whether you ever want there to be more to it than that.

That has always been what Christianity offers. Not an escape from the world, but from yourself, and your pain.

With that thought, I think I’ll just end this here, this is short for me, but I think that’s okay.

Until next time, stay honest–Natasha.