How to recognize a weasel–part two.

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This is not really a continuation of my Beauty and the Beast review, it’s more a commentary on films in general.

I said when I reviewed The Hunger Games that the movie was trying to make you think it was good, but it really had no strong message.

It turns out there’s a lot of that going around. I just saw La La Land and it was the same thing. It seemed good because it was trying to be like an old fashioned romance, but it totally lacked morals. I’m actually surprised that many good people thought it was great.

I get why, I wanted to like it. But I kept waiting for a moment where the characters did something I could really admire, but they didn’t.

I think my Grandmother thinks I’m just predisposed to dislike every movie that recently (in the last five years) came out.

But I liked “Hidden Figures” and “The Intern.” And heck, I like “Guardians of the Galaxy.” I liked the new Cinderella movie.

I’m not impossible to please.

I am hard to please. I missed the memo when pleasing the more difficult audience suddenly became not what movie writers were supposed to go for.

Which is not to say I should just get to say any movie is bad because I personally didn’t like it. I didn’t like Hacksaw Ridge over much, but it’s not a bad movie. Some things are just taste.

But some aren’t. Like caring what a movie is actually trying to say. And if it’s not trying to say anything, then it’s smoke and mirrors, because no one can come up with a decent creation if they don’t have a goal in mind.

My sister is a painter and drawer, she never paints a picture of nothing in particular. I know some artists do to express freedom, but even they are trying to express something. I write, I never write a story or  post about nothing. My other sibling crafts, she never makes nothing in particular.

Whether you’re a good or bad artist, you can’t be an artist without a goal or a point in mind.

And a film without a real point is just trimmings and trappings over a bare framework.

But we’ve gotten really good at those trimmings.

We have realistic looking CGI to the point where most of us have seen more vibrant landscapes on TV than we have in real life.

We have actors who can be airbrushed to perfection.

We have locations to die for, almost.

We have surroud sound. We have cool scores. We have promotional ads!

What we don’t seem to have is stories. Everyone is talking about how unoriginal Hollywood is getting. I guess the directors figure if you can’t make up a new idea, you have to dress up an old one.

But lest we be too copycat-ish, we’ll throw out all the old morals the plot used to entail. Let’s have more sex, shooting, explosions, and dumb throwaway lines that will become t-shirts and memes and be forgotten a few years hence. That’s what people want to see.

Well, unfortunately, I’m starting to wonder if that is what people want to see.

I can still remember the feeling I used to get when I finished watching a really good movie. I felt braver, better, and like life was more beautiful because of that film’s ideas. I felt like I had a glimpse into something I wouldn’t normally see or think about. Every now and then I get that feeling again.

But not form these big hits that have recently come out. They just don’t do it for me. I could look every recent superhero film I’ve seen in the eyes and tell it “The Incredibles was still better than you.” And forget the romantic comedies.

Well, I digress.

I read in one book that since the Fall we’ve gotten really good at covering up our shame with fig leaves Whether they be ordinary fig leaves or designer fig leaves.

Or as Shakespeare put it “All that glitters is not gold.”

Shakespeare tells us that if we are “young in limb, in judgement old,” we will not stake our happiness on things that are shiny and seem valuable on the surface, but inside contain dead men’s bones. (Merchant of Venice.)

The fig leaves represent the way we try to cover up our shame. And our current shame as a culture is how little we understand right and wrong. A lot of us feel confused about a lot of things, so we cover it up by making movies and other things that sound good, and sound profound, but if we were to really examine them they would be as fragile as leaves and one yank would destroy the facade.

The words of Shakespeare warn us not to value things that are dead inside just because they satisfy our senses.

I look for life in a movie. Some movies are just too foolish, others are deliberate garbage, others are the result of poor writing.

We need to be able to tell, because if we can’t, we’ll admire all the wrong things. And you can’t admire garbage on a screen, and then appreciate gold in real life.

Let’s just say that anyone who takes fool’s gold for the real thing will never recognize actual gold when they see it. They don’t look the same when you’ve seen both.

And can I just point out that the people who are telling us it doesn’t matter and to just enjoy the garbage are usually the ones making it… don’t you think they have a slight agenda?

I’m basically giving you all permission to dislike popular films for good reasons. And to like good films with all the enthusiasm the youth are showing for the bad ones. That’s where the “young in limb” part comes in.

Wisdom and Passion are the two great helpers of life, and they have to be forged the right way.

That’s all for now, until next time–Natasha.

How to recognize a weasel.

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I have finally watched the new “Beauty and the Beast.” I didn’t actually want to buy it or go see it in theaters but by a stroke of luck I got the opportunity to see it for free and judge if it was as bad as I thought.

It was exactly what I expected.

Now, I post unpopular opinions so often on this blog that I take it a lot of my readers must share them, but if you liked this movie, I can sort of see why.

The visuals were a lot better than the old one. The singing was better, I thought. I won’t say I didn’t feel a little moved by “Tale as old as time.” The only song of that film I’ve always liked. Nor was I too upset that “Human Again” was removed, which I never liked. (I never liked any of the other songs, for whatever reason. Just like I liked all the Lion King songs except the ever popular Hakuna Matata.)

I will say the Beast was pretty charming. /he seemd older as a beast, but it worked for him really well. I also never cared overmuch for him in the old one, so it was an imporvement.

But I will always say Emma Watson was the wrong choice for Belle, exspecially without revising Belle’s character at all. Gosh, I never could stand her anyway.

What is jusst killing is that I have a lot in commom with Belle, and yet I find her just so annoying.

That said, I was not unbiased going into this film. Nor was I unibased on the religious front. IF you know what I mean.

So it’s no surpirse I didn’t like it. I thought some moments were right, and I felt something, but other moments just took me down from the high.

Now to ge tinto my actual problems with it.

The film had a big Gay sticker stamped right across its forehead. I’ve watched lot sof films featuring gay characters simply because they seem to be  token character now. But not as many that were so clearly trying to make a statement. And to get into kids heads.

AM I exaggerating?

Well let’s explore that. When a movie has a man commenting on the proportions of another man in a creepy way, has a man dressed as a woman told to “be free,” has a freaking teapot tell a guy that he cold do better than Gaston…nope. Not exaggerating.

Can I just say that I’ve never approved of sex jokes and references in kid’s films even when they were limited to the hetero-sexual. I think kids just don’t need to hear that crud.

But it’s even worse when it’s done in this manner. Sly, sneaking; surreptitious.

This may sound weird, but I actually prefer bawdy jokes that are said in a bawdy way just because the people saying them at least are acknowledging that they’re inappropriate. But I don’t like this highly controversial subject treated as admirable and normal and romantic by a freaking remake of an old kid’s movie. Hasn’t anyone in the audience ever heard of propaganda?

Sorry, sorry, I’m getting a little carried away. I’m sure plenty of parents didn’t let their kids watch it. And I wouldn’t let my kids watch it. I was actually glad that my young cousin was out of the room for pretty much every bad moment of the movie.

It’s no secret that I’m not progressive in my views. I don’t excuse any of the film-writers who were for making this film because what they did was still wrong.

I think someone might ask me, would I mind if it had been a christian message? The truth is: it depends

Because Christian messages are mostly family friendly. Now if the christian message was about chastity or adultery or something, I would say no, don’t put that in a kids’ film, that’s sick.

And if you must promote gayness, promote it in a film that grown up people are going to watch, making their own choice.

I do have a problem with Christians bending the truth or using stereotypes to promote Christianity. I find it horrifying that anyone claiming to know the Truth would have to lie to get it across.

But the fact is, Christian movies are at least honest about being Christian. You know what you’re getting into when you watch one.

But then again, the director did warn us about the “nice gay moment.”

I’d like to address Lafou actually. As I’ve said, I hate the old Beauty and the Beast. And he was one of the worst parts of it. But not because he acted gay. he doesn’t.

Lafou’s name means fool, and that’s what he’d supposed to be. He’s enamored of Gaston’s popularity and strength and hangs around him because it makes him somehow cooler by associations…and it sort of works. He does get the whole town to join him in singing Gaston’s praises.

I mean, doesn’t anyone get what a kiss-up looks like anymore? That’s what Lafou is, he’s a brown nosing little weasel, who does whatever Gaston tells him to because he’s intimidated by him. We see Gaston threaten him during their first scene.

And everyone is singing about Gaston, so you’d have to convince me that every single married man in that town is gay before it proved anything. But why it should even be a cartoon character in a kid’s movie promoting homosexuality, I don’t know.

There is such a thing as guys admiring other guys for bad reasons. It’s called peer influence. It causes a lot of problems.

And frankly, I think turning that into something else takes away  he actual lesson we’re supposed to learn from those characters. Lafou and Gaston represent loser who judge by appearance. Lafou is the follower, Gaston is the self absorbed jerk. And by the way, Lafou does despicable things in the original without feeling a bit sorry for them, he’s just as rotten as Gaston, only less liked, because he’s not buff and handsome. Is this really so hard to understand?

Yet everywhere I look people are interpreting it as infatuation. Ugh.

This does make me mad because no one is going to remember the actual message of not hanging around people just because they’re popular and good looking.

And the impertinence of this movie, thumbing its nose at everyone who disagrees with its message. There was nothing respectful about the way it presented any of its themes. (I might add, it didn’t do such a good job of following up its other messages. It was too busy being progressive.)

Now, you didn’t hear me say that I hate gay people. I don’t. My complaint is against what this film and its writers are trying to do.

There are worse movies, but if this is the new road Disney is taking, I might have to jump off the train. But I have higher hopes for other movies coming out.

Until next time–Natasha.

What does the song say?

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Today I want to talk to you all about respect.

A particular kind of respect.

First, however, I have a short anecdote to explain why I feel this is important.

A while ago I was stuck with a group of millennials who were listening to some pop music. I’m not against pop, but I am against pot, which I’m pretty sure got referenced once or twice. The real problem came when some songs featuring guys talking about getting…you know…with girls, came on. More than once a song that I considered highly inappropriate played.

I promise I was not listening by choice, I was stuck. With that clarification, I’m going to be kind of vulnerable with you all.

Deep breath: Those songs, sung by both girls and boys who were right by me, made me feel embarrassed.

It was humiliating as a woman to hear young men singing about that sort of thing with me right there.

I’m aware that guys will talk about it a lot to each other, but usually guys who will talk about it openly in front of girls are perceived as rather jerk-ish, to put it mildly.

These weren’t even bad kids I was hanging around. That was the worst of it, they were totally unaware that anything they were saying might bother someone. At least to the point of embarrassment.

That’s why I’m posting this, because in the moment, I couldn’t say how I felt properly, but now I think this is worth discussing.

I wish I didn’t have to explain but here goes:

Young men (and old) whether or not a girl shows it, she is going to notice how you treat her and other girls. How you talk about them; how you think about them. And she may not care, even if she should. That’s because a lot of girls are treated like crud by the other men in their lives and there’s nothing you could do to fail her worse than that, so she may think you’re okay.

But that doesn’t make it okay.

You may be a great guy, but if you even so much as joke about certain things, it will send a certain message. That’s all I’m going to say about it.

It’s not my place to tell men or boys what to do, but they should know that any healthy girl will have standards to measure by, and no girl wants a guy to take her purity lightly.

Please don’t think I’m overreacting. I fully understand that often teens just don’t think about songs or jokes as indicating their character, but they do.

I also understand there are probably some guys out there just as uncomfortable with this as I am. Good on ya, in that case.

Young women: Guys need you to have a problem with this. I know that sounds strange. But men cannot read our minds. If we act like we’re cool with the total crud these songs are singing about, and like it’s fine to hear the guys around us spew the same things out of their mouths, then the guys are going to think we are fine with it.

Simple as that.

I don’t like to have things said in my presence that imply I’m a slut; because unless I was, why would I be okay with hearing this?

That’s not overstating the case. The fact that we don’t know this as a generation is an indictment against the kind of morals we’ve been taught, but it is not an excuse.

I’m not thanked for saying things like this to people’s faces, I doubt they would thank me for writing it either, but nonetheless, it has to be said. And by more people than me.

We need to treat each other and ourselves with respect.

By the way, my complaint was written off as just my opinion. But I assure you, there are lots of people who share it. Unfortunately, none of them were present when I objected. But they are out there. Some of them will probably read this.

I don’t really know if I can change someone’s mind about the kind of stuff they listen to, but they at least need to know how it will sound.

And it doesn’t matter whether it bugs one girl, or a million, because it’s still wrong. It’s dishonoring to any girl to make her feel that she’d being reduced to a sex object. In song, in life, or in thought.

So just…don’t do it. If you have any real respect for girls.

And girls, we need to stand up for ourselves and stop making this an okay pastime. If more of us made an issue of it, it’d be less frequent.

But I don’t want to get too preachy, so I’ll end on that note.

Thanks for reading and until next time–Natasha.

Fail me once.

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Well, to those of you who may think I’ve got my life together, today I failed the Driver’s Test for the second time. 

Oh, the humiliation, (anyone get the Mr. Peabody and Sherman reference?)

To anyone out there who has done the same, I feel your pain.

I’m not a bad driver, ladies and gents, I’m a bad test-taker.

Seriously, I don’t generally do well at tests, even though I have no problem learning things. Maybe it’s because I remember things differently than the test.

I don’t like to fail. Who does?

But at least I still have one consolation; I get one more chance.

Plus it was partly the instructor’s fault.

It’s been a couple days now, and though I was initially pretty upset, I now feel strangely un-bothered by this.

Maybe there’s something wrong with me and I don’t take criticism as seriously after the first time.

To be honest, I hate to feel like I’ve failed at something. Especially something I thought I understood okay. At least well enough to pass the test.

Fail me once, shame on me; fail me twice, shame on who? I wonder.

I’ve realized since I began house sitting that I probably have a problem taking responsibility seriously. One of the drawbacks to having a stay-at-home mom can be not having to do all that much for yourself. Which seems great when you’re a kid, but when you get older you realize how little you know.

It doesn’t help when you get people telling you how much trouble you’ll be in once you  get out into the wide world.

Is it really the best thing to tell someone on the brink of leaving the nest that they are totally ill-equipped to handle life?

And even worse, to tell their younger siblings the same thing.

It shocks me how little older folks believe in me sometimes. There’s not a lot of “You got it girl,” in my life.

And maybe I deserve it. Maybe I really am unprepared. But I have my doubts that anyone ever is truly prepared for adulthood or the world.

You may have seen the movie “Stepbrothers.” I haven’t seen it all, and I don’t recommend it, it’s a bad example. But it portrays two brothers in their forties who still haven’t moved out (or is it their late thirties?) They aren’t prepared for adulthood yet and their lives are half over, most likely.

I love movies like The devil wears Prada; The Intern; Raising Helen; and other such films in which the protagonist has to deal with high pressure situations and ends up rising above and beyond. Were they prepared gong in? No.

I feel like that’s a pretty accurate portrayal of everyone when they first start being independent. We don’t know what we’re doing, but we know we have to do it.

That’s how this whole country got started for crying out loud. The founding fathers didn’t really know what they were doing. They had knowledge of how government works, but it took them quite awhile to figure out the practical application of those principals.

So, do I understand how hard this is going to be? No.

Is it something anyone could have taught me? I doubt it. No one can teach you how to mature, they can only help you to do so.

And guess what, the naysayers are never the ones doing the most to help you out. It’s the people who give you the right to learn and step out that are the most willing to help you do so. It’s the people who spend less time worrying about your future and more time investing in your development.

I’ve had people put faith in me and though sometimes it never came to fruition, I still remember that they believed in me.

You see, the Driving Instructors, they don’t really believe you are capable. As soon as you make one mistake they lose most of their confidence in you, and if you’re like me and make major mistakes because of miscommunication (or lack of knowledge) they have nothing further to offer you except “Try again next time.”

Well they’re just doing their job, they’re supposed to keep bad drivers off the streets. (I would say this, it’s not working.)

You can’t expect people who don’t know you to really care about your success…or can you?

We all tend to be business-like wit people we don’t know, but those are also the people we don’t usually remember. And what do they remember us for? Not really as people. I’m not against business, or making impersonal decisions, but I am against looking at other people as only a means to an end. This business-like attitude ca spread to all of our interactions.

The regulation you have to got through now to do anything, it’s not only unfair, it’s ridiculous, and the regulators enforce it because they have detached themselves from the fact that these are real people who need real livelihoods.

Even if I’m not ready to drive yet, I do need to do it. People used to learn by experience.

I’ve been told “I guess you’ll just have to experience it for yourself” like it’s the worst thing that could happen to me. But until I experience something for myself, often I can’t understand it.

(Social graces were like that, I could never get outside my own head enough to comprehend them until I interacted with more people I didn’t know very well. Then it finally started to make sense.)

I get one more try at this test before I have to renew my permit, I guess. I hope I pass.

My nugget of wisdom for this post is to be one of the people who helps others mature, and not one of the ones who tells them all the ways they aren’t ready. because I have yet to meet one person who seems to be ready for the trials of life.

No one is. We all need to grow, and we all will fail, so in my book, it matters more whether you let that intimidate you and decide to stop trying.

I’m getting back behind that wheel first chance I get.

Until next time–Natasha.

Don’t quench it.

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 I don’t want to sound like I’m tooting my own horn, but sometimes it’s not easy to publish these posts.

I firmly believe that fear should never stop you from saying what you believe, but it is still tempting to back off and not go there. If you get my drift.

Maybe I’ve mentioned this before, but the word belief is getting to be a misnomer these days. So often “I believe” turns out to really be “I think. I hope. I suspect. It might be true.

To believe something means to be past just thinking it, it means you’ve thought it out till you’re sure it’s true.

That doesn’t automatically make it actually true. But it does make it a lot harder to convince you otherwise.

I find, as an opinionated young person, that people rarely try to convince me I’m wrong, more often they just try to convince me I’m not the only one who’s right. Or that my rightness is no different than their opposing opinion, even if they’re opposites.

I can tell you this, our modern mindset of putting  stigma on absolute truth has made it harder to speak the truth boldly.

I’ve met so few people who even will, and those I have met often go too far in the other way and speak the truth without the grace to see how and when they should say it.

And often there’s a great disgust in the hearts of people who have strong beliefs, because they find people who don’t to be repulsive in their weak wills.

This is just what I have observed.

And I won’t say I don’t face that temptation too. I often think many don’t realize that those of us with strong faith and conviction have our own struggles. They think we enjoy being the way we are and that it gives us a kick to look down on the rest of the world.

But not all of us look down on others, and all of us struggle with the pride problem that conviction can present.

Pride really sneaks up on you. That’s part of the reason a lot of folks started backing down from their positions. They didn’t want to be too proud and judgmental and miss the heart of the whole thing, which is to love you fellow man. At least if you’re Christian.

Actually, the very heart of Christianity is to love God, totally and without rival. Loving people comes next.

I’m not asking you to feel sorry for people of conviction, Christian or no, most of us envy them.

But I notice that had not stopped anyone from telling me to back down a little whenever I get too close to home.

I probably have the tenancy to overdo it, I think most people like me do. But I strongly resist the idea that I should stop.

Here’s the thing; I may very well get carried away, but at least I get carried somewhere.

The Bible says people who don’t have strong conviction are like ships on the water, tossed to and fro by every wind of doctrine. Doctrine can also mean ideology, philosophy, or mindset. It’s not just Christian doctrine.

People who have  strong beliefs will go somewhere. It could be the wrong place, but at least if you’re gong somewhere, you can also change course. A ship tossed on the waves has no course, it’s at the mercy of the storm. And storms aren’t known for being merciful.

I would rather go too far in boldness than not far enough.

It is true that no one may listen. But that doesn’t make it right to shut up. Check out the book of Jeremiah for that subject. The poor guy never seemed to have any luck with people hearing his prophecies. But he couldn’t’ stop, because the word of God was like a fire in his bones.

Jeremiah was young when he started prophesying. I bet he never had much of a normal life. He probably never got married or had children. He probably never really lived in peace. It was hard for him, but he had to keep speaking God’s word.

That’s the thing about the word of God. Once it’s in you, you can’t keep it to yourself. If you try, the same thing will happen to you that Jeremiah experienced.  It’s stifling.

The Bible says “Do not quench the Spirit of God.”

You don’t even have to be Christian for God to speak through you. Anyone who speaks the truth is, in essence, speaking for God. Which is why the evil in the world hates them; it hates those who claim to have the answer even more.

If I ever get more well known than I am now, I’m pretty sure I’ll be hated, mocked, slandered; and if I wasn’t, I would take that as a bad sign.

If the world loves you, then you probably are too much like it. And that’s never a good thing in my book.

There’s a little anecdote I want to share before I end this:

I just posted about Friendship, and how it’s been confused with homosexuality, to the detriment of us all.

What I didn’t share was how often I struggle with wondering it that’s right. It’s not from any real conviction that it is, it’s because I hear it constantly. Just like you all do, I’m sure.

And when you hear something more than seven times, you start to believe it. Unless you really put up a fight not to.

But just writing out what I actually believed in that post cleared my head. I felt more sure of myself.

You see, it’s stripping me of my identity to keep questioning something when I already know what’s true and what’s a lie. And I know that I know that I know.

It’s not just people who don’t express themselves who forget who they are, it’s mostly people who stand for nothing and so fall for everything.

You will never hear me say certain things are okay when I know they aren’t. And you will never hear me say some things are wrong when I know they aren’t.

Standing up for what you believe in is more than posting it on social media, or blogging it even, it’s being able to look someone in the face and say “No.”

And you will get in trouble for it, at least 5 out of 10 times, if not more often; but it’s worth it to have a clear conscience.

That’s all for now, until next time–Natasha.

In defense of friendship.

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So, I’ve been reading The Lord of the Rings, finally, I’m almost done with “The Fellowship of the Ring.”

And so far my favorite character is without a doubt, Samwise Gamgee.

Though Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli would all be close behind.

They were my favorites in the movie, along with Eowyn, but I’m definitely not alone in that.

But Sam is the best, he’s the comic relief as well as the heat of the group. Kind of like The Flash. you ever notice how often those heart characters are also the funny ones, it’s like the heart has to make sure people don’t get too sad or discouraged along the way. This is another reason I like Spiderman.

Anyway, there’s some controversy with Sam and Frodo that’s pretty messed up.

I’ m bringing this up not to have a political axe to grind, but to address another problem with this mindset of our culture.

People interpret certain words and actions as pertaining to certain feelings. You know what I mean. A kiss means one thing, holding hands means another.

To my astonishment, I’ve discovered that something as simple as expressing a great wish for your friend to come back alive, or to survive, can be perceived as sexual.

First of all, even if this is between a man and a woman, I’d still say it was messed up to look at it that way.

Things are pretty desperate when a man can’t want a woman to come back alive without being in love with her. I. e. Sexually attracted to her.

Is that all we’re good for to each other? Meeting some sexual need? Is that the only goo reason to care about each other’s well being. Because it seems thoroughly selfish to me.

I know some kinds of love can be selfish like that. No doubt you’ve experienced that kind of love, either in yourself, or in someone else, and it’s not always the romantic kind anyway. Familial love can be just as selfish. And so can friendship love.

My concern is that we don’t know what friendship is anymore.

I’ve had friends of both genders whom I’d be very upset about if something happened to them. I’d take steps to prevent that too. That doesn’t mean I want to be with either of them. It just means that I (shock) happen to care about other human beings besides myself.

And my guess is I don’t need to explain this to you folks who are reading this, but it sure as heck seems like it needs to be explained to a lot of folks who are spouting off their opinions every where I turn.

There’s nothing wrong with having an opinion of course, just so long as it’s a healthy one.

But if you can’t even believe in affectionate relationships out side of romantic ones, that’s not healthy.

Because the amount of people any one person can have romantic feelings for is limited, but the amount of people they can have affection for is almost limitless. You can get fond of almost anyone if you know them long enough and they don’t drive you crazy, in some cases even if they do drive you crazy.

And there’s a big difference between Sam wanting to protect Frodo and save his life, and Sam not being able to go on without Frodo. (I do think Frodo could not have gone on without Sam, but for a very different reason, the Ring would certainly have possessed him if he had been left alone with it.)

It’s a very natural thing to protect your friends. If you don’t, you aren’t much of a friend, that’s why gossiping about your friends is the best way to lose them. You exposed them instead of defending them.

In fact, friendship starts from a willingness to help another person not be lonely, a lot of the best friendships come from two people who had only each other, and were hated by everyone else, or just ignored. My own parents started out in such a relationship.

And between a man and woman, that often turns into love. But it’s not because friendship is inherently romantic, just immaturely so; it’s because companionship is the best foundation for a romantic relationship to grow on. But it doesn’t happen that way every time. And it doesn’t have to happen that way for it to be a healthy relationship. I think men and women can be lifelong friends and never need to take it further than that.

In a perfect world, we could all be like that and no one would be suspicious of it.

In the Bible, King David, a man with over seven wives if I remember right, had a friend named Jonathan, and they had a bond of souls.

David said at a later time that Johnathan’s love to him was better than women’s love.

This does not mean it was homosexual at all. There’s actually a distinction David is making between friendship and sexual love. He found the one with women, but he never seemed to have a wife he really was friends with.

David is simply recognizing here that friendship love is more sweet and loyal than romantic love often is, romantic love is famously fickle and inconsistent. And a guy with seven or more wives would certainly know that.

C. S. Lewis wrote that he’d rather have friendship with his wife, forever, than be romantically attracted to her forever. Because friendship was a better thing to have.

Now, just to be clear, friendship does not mean a feeling in this case. It means a certain unselfish way of acting, putting your friend first before you. Like Johnathan did for David. It also means having someone else who is passionate about the same things as you are. As Lewis says in “The Four Loves.” IT also means willingness even to lay down your life for someone else, as Jesus himself says is the greatest love of all.

All this can be in a romantic relationship, but it does not make it one.

In fact, this kind of friendship is really the kind of love we should have toward all people.

I think stigmatizing it is a huge mistake, and part of the reason people find it difficult now to make connections with each other in any way that’s not over a screen, where misinterpretation is a lot harder.

And until we let go of this stereotype, we can’t really be inspired by characters like Sam to be noble, loyal, and self-sacrificing; which is certainly what Tolkien intended when he wrote the story.

That’s my food for thought, until next time–Natasha.