I try not to complain too much, but I have the usual things. Traffic, weather.

I have cut down on complaining by listening to stuff during traffic, so I don’t get as impatient. Sometimes when I’m in the groove, I’m almost sorry it’s over.

I think though, that my biggest complaints have been about people treating me in a belittling way, or like I’m wrong.

I have fairly good judgment (with some exceptions) and it annoys me to no end when people act like I’m not informed on something or not thinking about it the right way.

The car incident being the latest example of this.

Everybody said I was overthinking the problem. That it was fine. That it was just the car’s quirks.

Even the mechanic said that.

But they were wrong. And I almost listened to them.

Taking people’s advice is nothing I have a problem with. I ask for it all the time. But I always weigh the different advice I get against my own judgment and what sounds right. What feels right. Or what matches my faith.

I’m not really the type of Christian who takes the “It will all work out in the end even if we do nothing” approach to life. I don’t really think it’s a biblical approach, in most cases. Religion is not an excuse to be inactive.

I do recognize some things are out of my control.

But here’s one hard truth that not everyone is ready to hear:

Sometimes, you assume things are outside your control because you’ve grown up around people who just accept problems and never change them.

I realized the difference between myself and my parents over the last 6 years. Ever since my dad moved out.

I don’t complain about anything unless I intend to find a solution for it. If I accept it the way it is, there’s no point to complaining.

Grwoing up, neither o f my parents modeld that.

My dad complains about everything. Money, church, weather, his friends, his family.

Other than weather, all of those things are ones you can affect directly.

And I got real sick of hearing it even as an 11 year old, about when I realized it was kind of on him.

It was like, if you don’t like your relationship with your family so much, do something about it. Do something else to earn money.

He did eventually, but he complained for years before he finally came to that conclusion. I would have done it immediately. I know because I do it now as soon as I have a problem.

Churches can be changed (he did that too, still complains though, and he’s done it again even since he moved out, though he told us the church he was going to when he left was the best one).

And then all the either, little, petty things that he would get mad about.

The house being messy, but he never cleaned it, his areas were some of the most messy.

That type of thing.

Still, my dad is more proactive than my mom, and f I had to guess I get that trait from his side of the family more than hers.

With her, while she’s a nice lady, she doesn’t really fix problems. She just tries to work around them.

With my dad for one thing.

And with a lot of other stuff, she just takes the L.

Stressful work sitations.

Health issues.

I mean not always. We’re not totally out of touch. But it’s more often than not, basically.

If she talks about a problem, and I have a solution, she won’t usually do it unless I’m basically doing it myself.

I’m not sure if my compulsion to fix issues is because both my parents are inactive. I do know that it got on my nerves from when I was a pre-teen up till now.

I don’t want to be unfair to them. Mostly they are smart people who avoid getting into problems as it is, so they don’t usually need to get out of them.

It’s just that life can knock you down sometimes. And you have to find a way to get back up.

And with you can do it slow, or you can try to find a way to speed it up.

Many people are never taught to think that way, and they accept problems very passively, or with anger, but no real approach to solving them. Both my parents were taught that by their parents.

It’s a cycle.

I’ve noticed it in my sisters often too. The willingness not to change anything, even if they don’t like it.

Granted, I’ve gotten in trouble for jumping the gun and trying to change stuff. People don’t like to be told they’re wrong.

I’ve realized since this car issue started, that people also don’t like being told that you don’t need their help to fix it anymore.

See, when I help someone, I try to make sure they need it first. I don’t push them towards my solution past that point, usually. Im’ not perfect, I have don that.

But since I’ve been told off for it, I think I learned to think more careful about it.

I don’t like to bite people’s head off or tell them they aren’t really helping me. But sometimes I wish they’d pick up on my hints that I don’t really want them to tell me what to do.

I asked my middle sister if she was annoyed when people told her that, and she said it just doesn’t bother her the same way as me.

So I said. “That’s because I tell you what to do all the time, so you’re inoculated to it.”

And she said “yeah” without one second’s hesitation.

I guess the joke is on me there.

To be fair, my sister is the kind of person who forgets simple things so often you have to remind them a lot and procrastinator on taking action. She’s very good at working hard and she can do a job well, but that initiative that I have isn’t her thing.

Basically, I’ll try to improve any work environment I’m in in some way, whether I’m asked to or not. Been doing that since my first job–which makes a lot of people think I’m arrogant.

And maybe, sometimes, I can be. I suppose anyone can be who likes to put their own spin on things.

When I write, I often do it to improve on ideas I got from someone else.

There are whole careers you can make out of doing that, though. So I guess I’m not the only one.

Maybe I should become a life coach (lol).

Look, the point I’m making it sno tlen to brag on myself, though I think it praon sounds that way.

I never thought I was good at this stuff. It’s only because I’ve noticed that my decisions work out better consistently that I’ve learned I might be.

I didn’t always expect them to.

What I’m trying to say is that if you’re the type of person who is like that, who doubts yourself because other people seem to doubt you, you might want to consider if you have a good track record. Maybe you’re doing better than you think.

And then we won’t need to complain so much. Better to fix it than complain about it, I say.