You ever talk to a Christian who thinks everything has to have some spiritual tagline?

Like a coffee shop has to be called “Holy Grounds” or “He brews” (My churches’ coffee shop is just called Cafe Vida as a nod to the Churches’ name, but, that actually sounds like a normal cafe name. Guess we dodged that bullet.)

Or Christian gum? Or Christian versions of literally everything? if you go to a Christian bookstore, you’d be surprised how many eye-rolling puns and rebranding you’ll find. (Heck, it’s like going into Hot Topic but without the punk goth style.)

I’ve grown up around this stuff and some of it always seemed a little odd. Other stuff, it seemed cheesy but harmless.

And honestly, I don’t think cheesy rebranding is really that big a problem. People make fun of Christians for it, but, in a culture where anime fans buy plushies and body pillows based on fictional characters, and write fan fics shipping themselves with real and imaginary people, and there’s a brand store for pretty much every group out there (including Satanists) I think we could all just acknowledge that it’s not a Christian thing to be cheesy, it’s a human thing.

We like to have our little groups and to make our merch for them.

Nothing really wrong with that.

However, I’ve noticed that the attitude of everything needing to be Christian can also translated into “everything needs to be spiritual.” Everything needs to be rebranded into a certain interpretation.

I’m guessing you clicked don this post for one of three reasons.

1. You’re a Christian who is already set to be offended by anything I say to criticize Christians–or you may secrets agree with me about it and don’t have an outlet at your church.
2. You’re a non-Christian who wants to read about how nuts Christians are (very popular now I know)
3. You actually follow me and read it because I haven’t posted in a month or so. (In which case, thank you so much for your support.)

I’m probably going to annoy you if you’re group 1, I don’t know about the other two.

Now to be clear, I’m not hating on my fellow believers. By and large they are the nicest people I meet, no matter where I go. Sure, there’s some bad apples, but, if I took the bulk of non-believer I met, and the bulk of believers, the believers would win out as to who has been the most kind, helpful, supportive, and positive influence in my life.

However, my critique is more than Christians only help with some things, but often have this weird blind spot that I think is not biblical and not wise, especially in this day and age where people’ have forgotten all common sense approach to anything in life.

In fact that’s what I think we’re missing as a whole: Common sense.

Or, wisdom, if you prefer the Bible word (see what I did there?).

Some people also call it discernment, but that often gets mistaken as just being about spirtual warfare. In relay, discernment needs to be a skill evyeron uses, even if you’re not a believer.

What made me start thinking about this right now (thought not for the first time) was a conversation I had with a friend at the Bible study group last night.

This guy had shared several months ago about a problem with losing his enthusiasm for doing spiritual things. He still has his faith and still love the Lord, but doesn’t feel the same drive to pray, fast, or worship. He was worried that his closeness with God was being damaged.

Honestly, I could relate to it, as I’ve had the same feeling for a couple years now. However, in working through it in my life, I’d come to see some things about it.

My immediate reaction was to say I thought it was probably just the normal dying down of enthusiasm. This guy has been a Christian less than 4 years, and I would have expected it to happen a lot sooner. We all eventually lose the first passion and have to replace it with something deeper.

However, I was the only one who had this perspective.

They meant well, but every other person in the group jumped either to “some unknown sin” (Think of Job’s comforters in that story) or to “spiritual attack” and that we needed to pray it away and stuff.

Well, I knew that wasn’t going to work. And I wished I had a chance to talk to him more about it because I felt sure I knew the real problem. But then, I wondered if I was just being arrogant and thinking I knew best, as I usually do.

Months go by and I don’t hear any more about it, but then yesterday, he brings it up again and asks if we can talk about it (well I offered too since he was asking for prayer, but he was eager).

So me, and my sister sat down and heard the story.

I can’t lay it all out, but suffice it to say a lot of lifestyle changes, new responsibilities, and probably just the natural passage of time’s effects on our emotions seemed like the root cause. There was no sin, no religious trauma (this guy didn’t grow up in church really so it’s not an aversion to spiritual things based on past experiences) and no one in his life was really making it harder. It’s just that life changes, and our passion and energy change with it.

And since the issue had not changed, despite the prayer and other “Spiritual” advice, my sister and I figured we were right. It wasn’t sin or warfare.

After we got done talking, the guy said what we said did seem to help a little. And we asked what was helpful and he said that while he’d talked to our pastor and other believers about it, no one had really given him the practical angle like we did.

Our suggestions were mostly lifestyle based.

We didn’t say to pray the problem away, to fast, or to worship.

My personal thought was he probably over did it as a new Christian, and that was why he was burned out on it. But I didn’t say it that way, I just suggested trying other things to connect with God that weren’t so spiritual, and that it was fine to use things like exercise, (my sister suggested using art, movies, and stories to find meaning that God might have for you).

I also suggested (as I always do) to read a book. The Screwtape Letters talks a lot a

bout spiritual burnout and how to deal with it. And it’s an easy read, while a lot of theology books aren’t (I love them but, they’re very dry usually.)

Whether bro will take our advice or not, he seemed relieved that we didn’t make the whole thing into even more of a spiritual crisis.

The real problem here is often that we start to feel guilt and shame for not wanting to do these things.

Personally, I’ve found it much easier to pray when I’m exercising, whether it’s just walking (what many people do), or dancing, or literally lifting weights and doing pushups. It’s easier to worship that way too.

Sometimes activating my body helps me and my soul and mind. And that’s not a new idea. Paul wrote that bodily exercise is good, but spiritual exercise is better. (1 Timothy 4:8)

C. S. Lewis addressed the loss of early enthusiasm in the Christian walk many times in his writings, like The Screwtape Letters:

“Let him assume that the first ardours of his conversion might have been expected to last, and ought to have lasted, forever, and that his present dryness is an equally permanent condition.” [Chapter 9]

He also states that we forget that we are mind, soul, and body. That if we treat our body unwisely, it will make our spiritual lives harder. We’re all united.

Also why doing the right things will make our bodies healthier. There’s scientific research to back this up, but anyone who paid attention really would notice the same thing in the people around them. My family members who lived the most sinful, undisciplined lives ended up with a myriad of health issues, while the ones who did not have even for the most part, the healthiest.

Now it’s not always true, some chronic disease are just genetics or not our choice, but, it’s true more times than it isn’t, in my opinion (And health experts agrees).

That said, do you know how many times I’ve heard any Christian go to that when someone tells them a problem.

It’s weird to me actually, how divorced we are from our everyday lives when we go to church.

I’ve heard plenty of believes give life advice that was practical when they were having our outside of church–some of them still rely solely on spiritual stuff, but many will suggest lifestyle changes outside church–but insides church, they will only say prayer, fasting, worship, whatever.

It’s like we’re ashamed to be normal human beings with normal problems.

This attitude is not remotely biblical. I’m not even sure how it got so widespread. and it’s not even just America.

I used to go to an African church (I mean they mostly were Africans who went to it, it wasn’t in Africa), and they were actually more this way. Anything could ever be cussed just by health issues, it was always the devil. Nothing could ever be irresponsibility on your part, it was la the devil attacking you.

Maybe here and there one person might suggest it was something else, but, they never really got much attention.

It was so weird for me. I mean, I wasn’t sure whether to agree or not.

But going to many different churches in my life, and listened to different problems people have, I’ve thought most of the time “You know that to could easily be resolved if you’d just mature, or make a change to your life that would be smart. You don’t need prayer, you need discipline!”

I’m not by any means saying we shouldn’t pray about everything (Philippians 4:6). But there’s another aspect of this the Bible covers, particularly in the book of James. Which makes it clear that we are not to only pray for people’s blessings. We are also supposed to bless them ourselves, if we have the means to do so’

¹⁴ What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds?…¹⁵ Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. ¹⁶ If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? ¹⁷ In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” [James 2]

And there are chapters and chapters of how Christians are supposed to live, how we are supposed to grow in self control and kindness and modesty (not the clothing kind).

So it’s not as if God doesn’t make it clear that we need to address our mind and our bodies as well as our soul.

I don’t know why this has gone out of the Church’s Sunday Sermons, Bible Studies, and general ideology so much. At most, we give lip service to it. But people often get very offended if you dare to advise them on any practical matters.

(Though some of us would be really glad for it.)

Despite being raised in a Christian home, where my parents both turn to the spiritual aspect more than anything else when they address issues, I’ve always rushed more to any practical explanation first.

Actually, that’s probably why. For years I’ve watched my father deal with lifestyle and behavioral issues, and he always went for prayer on them…and nothing happened.

I don’t think it’s that prayer isn’t a real help for many people. I think it’s that prayer must be followed by our actions. Unless it’s a situation that we can’t do anything about. But, if we’re honest, 80% of our problems are ones we could easily do something about, and people often use prayer as an excuse to do nothing.

They act as if God will take care of it. God will magically change your personality and life habits for you.

Yeah, well, even if God could do this, why would He?

Don’t you think God might find it demeaning to be asked to fix problems for you that you could fix yourself? Many parents and even professionals find it annoying to be asked to fix stuff for people that they could fix on their own.

And like your mom when she cleans your room, if God fixes your easy problem, He may do it by eliminating some things you don’t necessarily want gone, because it gets to that point where it’s too frustrating to deal with it anymore. (I mean that sounds like what happened to the Israelites when they wandered in the wilderness for 40 years.)

I guess the big question now is why do we do this? And how harmful is it?

I’ve spent some time describing why we need to take action in the here and now, but is thre really any reason not to say that’s also spiritual.

Well, according to James, it is spiritual. True religion is serving the people who won’t be able to pay you back for it. Often, who won’t thank you for it.

C. S. Lewis said that kind of true Christian would be someone who seems to always have a lot of time, and never talks about their problems extensively or their achievements.

I’m not there yet, certainly. But Lewis tried to practice what he preached. He tried not to think of his influence on people, as one of his friends documented. (An introduction to the the Weight of Glory tells the story.)

That said, Lewis was always wary of spiritual pride. The temptation to think that being more “in the know” about spiritual things makes you better than non-believers, or even new believers.

And we do that a lot in the modern church (I suspect it’s always been the biggest problem in any church, really).

We don’t think of it as pride.

But when we tell someone who’s opening up about a struggle that they should just pray more, or do this or that spiritual thing, but we don’t offer any other help to them, that’s pride.

It’s like saying “If you did all these spiritual things I did, you wouldn’t have problems.”

Chonda Pierce, a famous Christian comedian, told how in her struggles with depression, that was what got on her nerves the most when people told her. No one just wanted to listen to her vent and be supportive. Judgment free.

Most of us probably mean well (I’ve done it myself once or twice), thinking that’s just what we’re supposed to say–and then there are some who are just mean and dismissive because they truly don’t care.

Either way, it doesn’t help, but people generally forgive the first kind more easily.

The thing is, this or that said in prayer doesn’t always really matter. Shocking I know. But God knows our hearts. He knows what we mean, the Bible says that too. Saying magic words doesn’t make anything different.

There are things you can learn to pray for better, sure, but I never thought formulas were a good idea. Too much like the way pagans worship their false gods. Repetition. Jesus warned about that.

And he warned that over complicating things is also the work of futile religion.

The best thing to do is pray simply and honestly about what you need, thank God, and ask forgiveness. in some measure all of us should be praying those three things on a regular basis. Whether you do it daily in that order, or you do it was the need arises.

The bible also never says how long to pray, or how many days a week you should. Though it does support doing it every day, it sounds like in some place, but God never commands it in the New Testament in so many words. Jesus says “our daily bread” as the closest thing to it.

I’m not saying you should pray every day, but I’m saying that people make up all these standards. Pray for an hour, pray for half an hour, pray 5 times a day…and it’s all unnecessary.

Pray when you can, when you should, and when God leads you. Figure out the rest to fit your life, that’s what I tell people.

Reality is, especially if you’re a parent, you can’t devote hours every day to prayer. Telling people that’s the answer is ridiculous.

Telling people that more worship will fix every issue they’re having is also ridiculous.

Yes, it may help. Worship does help us relax, it does help a lot of things, but, that doesn’t mean you should be doing what you can on your end.

An old saying is “Heaven helps those who help themselves.” It’s not the bible, but the Bible does say to work and to live wisely. which is pretty much the same thing. That phrase has fallen out of popularity in our entitled, spoiled generations.

Honestly, people who work hard to make what they want happen often don’t demand as much from God anyway, and are more grateful for the hlep He does give. But they often need less to begin with because they do work for themselves.

And why should we earn part of our own success? There are things only God can give you, it’s true, but you have to remember the parable of the talents. Everyone has so much and they need to do so much with what God gives them, or it goes to waste.

And all this asking God to give you more, instead of figuring out how to use what you have better, is not a good lifestyle.

And this applies to mental health issues as well. People ask for prayer for anxiety and depression all the time…if you dare to suggest that they probably should exercise more, cut down on sugar, sotp reading angsty teen novels or watching depressing movies, and stop hanging around people who only company ob t life–well then you’re part of the problem. You dared to expect something from them.

Look, I don’t know how else to say it, if something is enough of a problem for you to ask for prayer from other people about it (since most of us don’t like sharing our problems anyway) then it’s nos you need to be willing to take action to fix.

And who’s to say God does not answer prayer by simply telling you what to do to make it better? Many of my prayers have been answered that way. And many people I know have shard similar stories.

Like when Naaman asked a prophet what to do to be cured of leprosy, and he was told to bathe in the Jordan River 7 times. He refused at first, thinking it was too silly and unnecessary, and his servants asked him “if he had asked you to do a hard thing, would you have done it?”

And so, realized that it was simple to do it, he did, and he was cured.

Simple things can be the hardest, because we can do them ourselves, we just don’t want to.

And we’re afraid to tell each other that, because peopel get the most offended when you say they need to change.

But, that’s life. Most things in life only change when you yourselves change. Tough crap if you don’t like it.

One more thing…

Perhaps a lot of this sounded only like basic common sense after all, and nothing really unusual.

But what if I said I don’t even think the attending church weekly, and participating in ministry is really most of what Christianity is about.

That might shock you.

Ministry is important, but, again, most of the ministry done through church is just more church. More 6 week lesson series, studies and prayer meetings.

Which is fine, but, rarely changes anyting in your life big time.

Helping the person you sit next to in school, on the bus, at work, that’s much closer to real Christianity.

But those are the poele who often annoy us the most, aren’t they?

Or being kind to your own family, that’s not the popular topic now, is it?

But that’s what the Bible, and really, most faiths that have nay merit at all, describe as real righteousness. Personal and private life things being in order before public or professional ones.

Yes, the public ones are important, but never as much as private, though it’s counter-intuitive to most of us to think of it that way.

But a thought to keep in mind is that Jesus Himself did not often attend church, though He did go to temple when he was in town and could. Before they drove Him out.

Jesus spent the majority of his time traveling, eating, drinking, and teaching his followers. He settled disputes, provided food, and did many miracles in private, not public. He taught often about how to live with your neighbor and your brother, not with your public.

Why? Because that’s what He was really about fixing.

And how to live with God. How to honor Him truly. How to show Him your love.

Jesus didn’t have 4 worship songs, a prayer time at the end of service, and offering.

All that was a part of his life, but in a different way. He wove it into his full life, he never separated the two like we are.

And compartmentalizing it into just chruch stuff is part of our problem. We should see following God as holistic.

You can follow God while you’re working out at the gym, reading a book, babysitting, taking kids to school, doing a desk job, doing a physical labor job, teaching, sleeping, showering, whatever.

Do everything as to the Lord, the Bible says. [Colossians 3:23]

And if any area of your life is out of balance, the best way to serve the Lord is to bring it into balance, whether you need a physical, mindful, emotional, or spiritual solution. Often it’s more than one thing.

Adn yes, there’s time to use prayer and fight on another plane, but, it should usually be only one step, not the only step period.

Food for thought, and I think I’ll end there.

TLDR: We do this because we’re afraid to admit we have non-spiritual problems because it makes us sound more ordinary and we think a good Christian should be spiritual.

But, we’re all human and it’s part of life to have normal problems too, which sometimes need normal solutions as much as spiritual ones.

Thanks for reading, and until next time, stay honest–Natasha.