Hope

Who you are.

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If I may, I’d like to use this song to help illustrate my point for this post.

I hope this actually plays, but if not here are the lyrics I want to highlight

You can never fall too hard, so fast, so far, that you can’t get back what you lost, where you are. 

It’s never too late, so bad, so much, that you can’t change who you are.

You can change who you are.

I like the whole song, but the chorus is the point of it, naturally.

What I really like about this song is that it acknowledges that someone might want ot change who they are.

There’s a rare movie out ether even now, and there used to be scores of them, where a main character will admit that they want to change who they are. Take Black Widow as perhaps the most famous superhero example.

Not that change isn’t discussed. Usually it’s called getting over it, or moving on, or being true to yourself.

But what of the now-rare character who doesn’t like themselves? who wants to be different?

I don’t mean they are just unconfident. I mean the character who has flaws that keep ruining their life and they want it to stop.

These don’t have to be evil people, just human.

I’ve never been overly fond of the heroes with fatal flaws, it annoys me, but I wonder if our heroes who lack human flaws are always wise.

Not because I have a problem with good examples, but because I see a missing middle ground. Either we love good examples, or inexplicably we love the bad guys, but we don’t love the ones who are in the middle and trying to decide. Well, really we don’t love the good guys who still do bad things.

Heck, if fictional heroes did as many bad things in a movie as most of us do every day, we’d hate them.

But this isn’t about fiction really. I’m just referring to the missing idea of change in our culture. The lack of accountability. The obsession with being so true to ourselves that we are true to the worst parts of ourselves. Your big mouth, for instance. Or our anger.

Our laziness how about?

You know, the non-glamours stuff no one likes to admit.

The sins.

Maybe it’s just me, but one thing that always bugged me about sitcoms and stuff is how little always like that are just played for laughs. Like we’re just supposed to accept that people will always choose to be lazy, or tell “white” lies, or whatever.

In real life, we usually don’t like that stuff about ourselves.

We’ve all done stuff we’re ashamed of. Even me. I try to forget that stuff, but I know I’ve done it. I don’t like thinking about it.

You know why I use the words “we all” a lot? Because I think that real truth applies to all of us. To all humanity.

We all suck.

But we all can change.

That’s the point of the song.

We have to want to change though. That doesn’t always mean we will, but we have to start there.

To me, one of the best hopes we have is that we can change. Most of our pain in life is because we’re messed up. Maybe someone else messed us up, maybe we messed up ourselves, whichever it is we can only get better if we change.

We can’t just decide to change of course, the song is also about how Jesus can change us. That is part of the whole point after all.

And that’s all for now, until next time–Natasha.

P. S. (I might be posting a review of Dawn of Justice soon because I’m planning to finally watch it, so all my superhero fans out there watch for that.)

 

 

Seven down, seven up.

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Down but not out, they say.

I’ve been down. I’ve had a terrible migraine for two days, I think I’m coming off it finally, but it’s awful.

It’s funny how you can question everything about your life when you’re in pain. Real pain. Physical or emotional. But I prefer emotional, as weird as that sounds. When my pain is interior, I feel I can cope with it better. I feel I know my soul better and know how to fix it.

In reality, I probably know less about my soul than I do about my body. Even though my soul is me, as it were. How well do I even know me?

I need help just to understand what’s causing a pain in the part of me that can be tested and diagnosed. What about the part of me that can’t?

I have a strong suspicion I am not alone in this. I think it’s true of all or most of us that we prefer so remedy our physical suffering before our spiritual suffering. I just read that in “Anne’s House of Dreams.” (I highly recommend reading all 8 books of the Anne of Green Gables series, they all are unique experiences.)

Physical suffering has the odd quality of making you both crosser with people in your life, and more lonely. I’ve spent the day lying around, unable to really put my mind to anything, and I started craving companionship. Just having someone in the same room was a sort of relief.

Yet it’s so easy to bite someone’s head off when you’re sick, and justify it. It’s still wrong, but we all feel that when you’re suffering, it’s harder to bear annoyances.

And if I even get started on how bodily suffering affects our faith. Aiy!

I’ve read somewhere that there never was a philosopher yet who could endure a toothache patiently.

When you’re in pain, you realize what you really cling to in life.

I’m not saying all pain has that effect. Often I think we just accept our pain as normal, and become indifferent to its effects.

I am far from adept when it comes to dealing with pain and suffering. To me it becomes an emotional struggle as well as a physical one.

I think a lot of how people with cancer or other more long lasting disorders or diseases bear them so patiently, and continue to live life as much as they can. What have they got that I haven’t got?

Maybe know their time is short makes it more precious for them, and they fight harder for the good moments in life.

We squander a lot because we can.

I notice that feelings of despair, or a resolve to be a better person or to spend my time more wisely last only as long as I’m in pain. Once it passes I go back to doing as I like, because I can.

Yet I do appreciate being able to do things like make dinner and drive a bit more, simply because I can.It’s a gift to not be in constant pain.

Not that I think that should be the norm by any means. But in this world where it is so often the case, we have to count ourselves lucky when we’re healthy. Especially those of us who don’t have to work at it. (Young folks mostly.)

So, while my good feelings last, I try to be more cheerful. The Bible says the righteous man may fall seven times, but he will rise again. (Proverbs 24:16.)

Which basically means that the righteous will bounce back, that’s what makes them righteous. Goodness takes perseverance more than anything else. Which we all suck at until we’ve been put through the wringer several times and had to stick it out.

Those are my thoughts for now, until next time–Natasha.

Titanic

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Let’s take a break from my heavier topics to talk about something we all love:Titanic

Just kidding.

I know not everyone, including myself, loves this movie. But I do think it’s worth discussing even if you hate it’s guts, or if you’re one of those with an undying love for the franchise.

We have to consider why this movie was and is such a hit. Because it tells us a lot about people and what they like, and what they secretly dream about.

I really don’t think the actors or the score are what make or break a movie like titanic. That is, I don’ think good actors guarantee a hit, or a good score. But I do think they sell the plot.

It sounds weird to say you love a movie that it as least one third tragedy, and almost as frustrating as Romeo and Juliet in terms of how differently it could have gone if something had just turned in the couple’s favor.

But, even though when I saw Titanic it was on TV, with commercial breaks, and I was not completely swept up by the romance, I recognized something about the film was entrapping.

I escaped the craze by a few years or many more, so I didn’t have that bias stacked against me when I watched. By the time I saw it there were plenty of haters, but I’d talked to some girls around my age who liked it anyway. But didn’t rave over it.

Titanic was basically the Frozen of adult movies, from what I can gather from those who witnessed the craziness. The difference being adults didn’t have to be as embarrassed about liking it. (Until people turned against it.)

And I’m not going to say it was right or wrong to love Titanic. I will reiterate that I don’t love it personally, but that’s taste on my part. I could easily see how it would hook folks. I do enjoy it in some ways, and I do, still, like the song. (Sue me.) I think it was a well made film.

But the part I found impossible to get out of my head for days was the sinking. It wasn’t actually Rose and Jack’s part in it that moved me (though that’s sad in of itself,) it was the actual tragedy they showed. Stuff that probably really happened. I think the Musicians playing is a recorded fact. So is the line that :God himself couldn’t sink that ship” Someone did say that.

Titanic may be a good romance, depending on your taste, but it’s lasting impression is because it depicts the folly of arrogance and pride. And how they lead people to destroy themselves by being incautious. Titanic, the queen of the fleet, as it were, was brought down by an iceberg just like any common ship could be.

Never reckon without the force of Nature folks. It is God’s territory, and whether God sank the Titanic  personally or not it doesn’t matter. What really sank it was the idiocy of the people aboard. Speeding when they should have slowed. Leaving half the life boats at home when they could have saved hundreds more people. Not letting the poor leave the ship, locking them in steerage.

And the movie makes us feel this, which is important, because you often can’t get that feeling just from reading an emotionless account of the story. We need to learn from our mistakes.

Titanic may not be a great loss of life compared to a War. But it springs from the same source. Neglect, arrogance, leaders misleading people.

Which in the movie is personified by Rose’s ex. Who is a bully and almost a murderer. And a coward.

It’s sad to me when the Captain goes down with the ship in utter despair and shame for what he let happen. And heart rending when the minister is reciting Psalms 23 and desperate people are listening as they wait for death.

By contrast, the fact that Rose and Jack don’t freeze to death after twenty minute in the lower levels of the ship makes me feel less sympathy for them. Because it’s unreal.

But I get it, not everyone cares.

The real point isn’t how real or unreal it is, but what we carry away from it. Thought the romance is nice, I think it’s a mistake to act like that was the only thing in the movie that made people cry. And I doubt it was what made them remember it either.

The romance is the euphoria of it. It’s the reason you watch it again. Because at the end Rose almost seems to beat the tragedy. In her dream (or her death) being reunited with Jack. Literally living the dream we have, that all bad things can be avoided, or turned into something beautiful.

The wish we all have that we could change history, whether or own or the world’s to make it devoid of tragedy.

That’s whey movies like Titanic and the Notebook are popular. It’s not just women’s wish fulfillment, (though men will pretend that it is,) it’s humanity’s wish. Our longing.

And whether you say it’s stupid or not, you’ve felt it at one point. Claim you’re older, wiser, (in reality more cynical,) but you felt it once.

There are those who think Titanic was hit because of its theme of true love conquering all. A christian them, Christians will claim.

It could be. I certainly think Frozen was a hit for that reason.

But, the Bible says the World sees and soon forgets the truth of God. If Christian truth is what makes a movie a smash it at first, it’s not what endures of it for most people.

I don’t call the fanatic obsession with either Titanic or Frozen a godly thing. I don’t think it has anything to do with God, after a certain point, though it might have started that way.

The fact is, people make idols of these stories. They chase the dream that the movie showed them a glimpse of, thinking it came from the movie itself, instead of just being portrayed by it.

Which is why in the end the world or culture turns against the art it once loved, because the art proved empty.

Of course it did, it was never the paint itself that made a portrait good but what the paint made you think of. Which could be done by a charcoal sketch just as effectively.

I am not discrediting the beauty of fine art, I love it. But it’s fine because of the ideals the people painted it with.  It’s the invisible attributes of things that make you love them. Not the visible. IT never lasts forever.

And those are my thoughts on Titanic.

–Natasha.

Not my father’s.

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First of all, my holiday was pretty good. Family; that family’s friends; gifts.

But just the day after Christmas things were back to the old pattern. I got told that I was so influenced by what my father believes it was unbeleivable.

It’s funny, my dad would probably never say that. I don’t think most people who meet me feel I am easily swayed by people’s opinion.

But what does frustrate me is that I don’t explain my own positions. I never have explained my political positions (that is, what led me to that conclusion.) IT’s nto becaue I don’t have reasons. I have lots of reasons.

I actually have too many, and I usually feel that if I laid out my whole line of thinking, no one would listen. People rarely listen when I even begin to explain my views, if they hold different ones.

I’ve learned to keep my disagreement to myself.

Which is, I figure, just what the opposition wants.

I’m not the only one who does this, I know others who do. People who are feeling that the opposing side is so bull headed that there’s no point in trying to explain why we think differently. We never get that far, we figure, so why bother?

Funny, whichever side of a given issue you’re on, you probably have felt this way.

But, no one gets wiser when we all keep in in.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another,”

Of course I’m not one to say that we can all always learn form each other’s points of view.

That’s not the reason we share points of view.

If someone’s view is false, then nothing can be learned from it, by definition. But there is a lot you can learn from the person who holds that view.

You can learn why they hold it, how it came to happen, and what effect it has on them and the people around them.

With very extreme views, often that last thing is obvious.

But I submit to you that truth itself is not something another human can teach you, just by telling you something.

We learn from each other’s character far more than from each other’s words, though those are a big part of it.

But that is the danger of looking to the popular, or widely accepted or hated opinions; also of looking to the media, or a celebrity; or a parent to guide you to truth; they aren’t always in it.

I doubt anyone has the capacity to hold all truth in their minds at one time, but it is certain that some people are on the track to discovering more of it all the time, and others to never ending deception.

That’s why we do ally ourselves with certain groups of people. I prefer Fox News not because I believe its unbiased (I don’t) but because I know the people on Fox news hold belief systems closer to my own, and therefore are more likely to point me in what I believe is the truthful direction. But I don’t completely swallow all they say, I don’t know if they really expect that actually.

The difference I do perceive between Fox and CNN is that one seems to expect people of different views to tune in occasionally, but the other really doesn’t.

But I’m not getting into that debate (and I won’t get into it in the comments, just in case there was someone reading who would try.)

My point is, human institutions are like compasses. Some aren’t accurate, some are, but at their best, all they do is point you to the right thing.

So, if I do share a lot of my father’s views on things, it is because I see him as a pretty accurate compass.

But I don’t agree with my father on plenty of subjects. I choose to keep those to myself because I don’t think it’s anyone’s business. not anyone who’s not close to my family anyway.

But the reason I agree, as far as politics goes, is that my faith is the same as my dad’s essentially. Bible-based. And I would only expect our ideas to line up most of the time because of that.

I won’t pretend that my parents haven’t influenced my beliefs, of course they have, and I’m glad they did. They are good, honest people, and I have no reason to be ashamed to agree with them.

But they do not define my beliefs. The older I get, the more I realize this. That even though my beliefs have not really changed since I was a child, they have become more my own, not less.

Actually, whether you like it or not, after a certain age, your beliefs are your own. No matter if you’ve ever questioned them or not.

To all of us there comes a choice to question, or to accept what we’ve been taught. All of us decide, for a myriad of reasons, which we will do. All of us, no one gets left out of that. Once you decide, it’s your belief.

Some folks might whine that their parents ruined their lives, but after a certain age, you ruin your own life.

Depending on where you live and what your family is like, that could be a different age for all of us, but we hit it sooner or later.

I know our parents shape us, but they don’t define us.

And one last thing:

Like everyone, I have doubts. I never reassure myself by telling myself that “my parents are sure, so it must be true.” I can’t imagine that actually being comforting.

No. I have to go back to what I have experienced, and heard, to remind myself why I believe.

And that’s all I have to say about that, until next time–Natasha.

Meh.

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I recently reached 500 likes on this blog, so here’s a thank you to all of you who click the like button when you are done reading.

Seriously, when I get views but no likes, I don’t know what to think. Maybe the person just felt “meh” about it.

Meh, I never use that word. I guess it’s an emoji now, I ‘m sure I ‘m not the only one who can’t keep up with them. I wouldn’t even know that one if not for that horrible movie that just came out. (I didn’t watch it by the way.)

You  know, that meh thing is really pretty sad. If you did make the mistake of watching that movie, I’m sure the only emotion you felt was frustration that the two meh parent emojis couldn’t express any… emotion– it was just wrong.

Deadpan characters can be funny, but this was deader and more pan. (What does that term even mean?)

Personally I thought it was sad, the idea of two people never be able to express their feelings with their tones or expressions. It’s like most of communication is gone.

And that’s all the emotion that movie got out of me, except disgust, if you want a review, look on YouTube.

Anyway, meh is kind of like the new “whatever.” You know how people hate it when you tell them that word? “Whatever…” Like you’re just too bored with the conversation.

The truth is , you probably are and just want to get away, but that hurts their feelings. Sometimes with good reason, we can’t always get away from uncomfortable conversations.

I realized today that I have a lot of moments myself where I want to go “whatever” and just back out. I don’t’ want to sort it out. I don’t have the energy or the willpower, just leave me alone, or let me do what I want.

That sounds like both a bratty teenager and a grumpy elderly person.

You know I think elderly people are grumpy because they don’t have to worry about getting ahead in life anymore.

Not that they are all grumpy, but the ones who are.

Maybe we just slip into that when we feel we don’t have anyone to impress. Like how I’m more tempted to just use my authority with kids to settle things and not actually what’s fair; because I don’t have to.

I hate that when I see it in myself, but I realize it’s al too common in humans to be that way. It’s not just me, all of us do that. We let ourselves go when we think we can get away with it.

The reason presumably is that we don’t really like being good all the time, it’s tiring, it feels like a duty we owe God, our family, and ourselves. But when our family isn’t there, we can be okay with shortchanging ourselves and therefore God.

Normally it’s nothing big, not for generally moral people, it’s that little sin yo might not even feel bad about, but you knew it was wrong.

It’s scary when you add it all up and realize how much you do this.

I am not one to say that if you sin in this way a lot, you are going to hell. (If you’re a Christian that is.) I don’t think these sins are always pure evil in of themselves. But in that they are sin for you, they are.

See, personal morality has been twisted around nowadays. It actually means knowing what will be sin for you because it pricks your conscience. Not getting to choose what is right and wrong period.

Sins of unfairness, or inconsistency, or gluttony may not seem that bad, and maybe aren’t bad for others (that is, what you are being unfair, inconsistent, or gluttonous about is not a problem for others) but you struggle with them.

I think we get sick of the struggle partly because we hate that it is a struggle. Why can’t it be easy to be good? Why did we ever make the mistake of letting this become a problem?

Deep down, every human being yearns for perfection. We chase what we once had, wishing we could get it back.

But we also yearn to sin. We don’t like it, but it’s there. Sometimes we give way to it because sin has a way of making it seem more painful to resist, even though it’s actually more painful not to.

We are lazy, I’ll grant you, but my questing is why? Why do we decide it’s not worth an effort?

We do deceive ourselves. Maybe because the truth hurts.

The good news is, you can start again. And you can be your better self and remember that sin isn’t something you enjoy. As always, it’s a choice.

And if worst comes to worst, you can forgive and be forgiven.

But it starts with not saying “whatever.”

Until next time–Natasha.

Christmas and Carols.

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I’m not the only one who’s been doing their Christmas shopping this week. Ideally, I would do it at the beginning of the month, but I tend to forget about it till Christmas is one week away.

Anyway, just thought I’d mention that.

I wonder if people really think about the true meaning of Christmas anymore. I’m supposed to read “The Man who Invented Christmas” for my book group, it’s about how Dickens wrote a Christmas Carol.

I don’t think I really think about the Christmas story. I’ve heard it so many time, it goes over my head.

It takes the Charlie Brown special, or a ghostly little book to remind me that the Christmas story has power.

Also those old carols.

If you have ever learned more than the first two verses of old hymns, you know the standards versions are totally ripping us off. Jesus Loves Me has two more awesome verses. And all the Carols are way cooler if you get further in.

I love O come Emmanuel, O Holy Night, and We Three Kings.

And I love the extra verses.

“O come thou wisdom from on high, and order all things far and nigh; to us the path of knowledge show, and cause us in her ways to go.

O come desire of nations bind, in one the hearts of all mankind; bid thou our sad divisions cease, and be thyself our king of peace.”

Isn’t that great?

One other song that improves upon more verse is Little Town of Bethlehem.

That song used to bore me, but when I learned it had three more verses that were very cool, I started to love it.

For example:

How silently, how silently, this wondrous gift is given, as God imparts to human hearts the blessings of his heaven; no ear may hear His coming, but in this World of Sin, where meek souls will receive Him still, the dear Christ enters in.”

What I like about that last line is how it being the song to us, in our modern day. Even though the Christmas story id definitely more celebrated than the Crucifixion, Christians tend to turn to the Cross more for symbolism than for…any other story.

I mean, if you turn on Christian Radio, you’ll hear the cross and death mentioned in jsut aobut every single song.

That’s not wrong of course. But I think the Christmas story had importance as more than just nostalgia.

I wish I kept this in mind more, but it’s like the songs says.

“O holy Child of Bethlehem, descend on us, we pray, cast out our sin, and enter in, be born in us today; we hear the Christmas Angels the great glad tidings tell, o come to us, abide with us, Our Lord Emmanuel.”

If you are not a Christian, or even if you are one and are sick to death of hearing these songs, then maybe it’s sounds like mumbo jumbo.

And for the record, some of it is poetic license. I don’t actually think that we now hear Christmas Angels (unless you’ve had a more face to face experience than I have.)

I doubt there are angels specifically for Christmas, because Christmas, as Dickens pointed out, is not a day, it’s a way of life.

Christmas just means Christ Mass, or Christ Day.

As the song says, “Be born in us today.”

The true meaning of that refers to how Jesus told us that to enter the kingdom of heaven we must be born again.

Jesus Himself was born again, in a way, since he already lived before becoming a baby.

It may sound whacked out, I won’t argue. I don’t think God always intends to sound sane to mere mortals. I don’t think God much cares if we understand how He does things. We don’t understand ourselves.

That it sounds crazy is actually the point. Most people don’t have a problem believing a Man in the brutal times of Roman Occupation in Israel could have been crucified as a heretic. It happened frequently.

But people do have a hard time swallowing that A virgin could supernaturally conceive and give birth to the son of God, made flesh.

Though, when I consider that I’m questioning how the Person who made DNA could make up for the other 23 chromosomes….I feel stupid.

Believing that Jesus was born in a miraculous way is the first step to believing you ca be reborn.

When I was little the idea of Jesus living inside of me wasn’t weird to me at all, now I realize it could sound crazy to some…a lot… of people.

Of course, I don’t actually mean that a man is moving inside of m body. That’s not what it means at all.

But that God puts His own Spirit in us, and it becomes one with our spirit.

Which is actually how it was meant to be in original creation. The reason we say sin is spiritual death is because it severs us from God’s spirit, which is life.

God cannot dwell with unholiness, which is why Christ’s work clear us of our guilt and makes us holy.

Which all started with him being born, not into sin, but blameless.

The miracle of Christmas is that rebirth is even possible. That we all have a chance at being made new.

That’s worth living out every day.

Until Next Time–Natasha (Christ’s Birthday)