Memoirs of a Babysitter.

So I just watched the Nanny Diaries. This won’t be a review so much as what my English Professor calls a “Development parallel.” That is to say, cause and effects that are similar.

I only babysat (regularly) once, it was for one family and I haven’t been employed in that way since.

I watched three children. In the beginning it was only two, but then the mom decided to pull her oldest out of school because she didn’t like her teacher, and to home-school her. So, me being home-schooled, she thought I’d be down with that. And I was. I was even willing to help the kid out. So far so good.

And trust me, if I’d seen the Nanny Diaries before that time, I would probably have thought it was exaggerated for comedic effect. I’m sure if you saw it you thought so, unless you’ve been in a long term babysitting position.

The only difference between being a babysitter and being a nanny is title and hours and you don’t live in the home.

The job was fine at first, I liked the kids, I put up with the temper of the baby, and I stayed calm.

Then I made the mistake of thinking corporal punishment was accepted in their house, the oldest told me it was, but it wasn’t. (I assume they told me the truth the second time but with them you never knew.) I know that will horrify someone, but when I grew up spanking was normal-ish and I never had a problem with it. Get over it people, not all of us had progressive parents.

Well, I realized my mistake (and I never actually spanked the kids just to clarify, I threatened it but thought better of it later.) But my fate was sealed.

Things went downhill from there. I really think my mistake had very little to do with it, but it started it. After that, I never knew what the expectations were.

I entered the employment with the understanding that housework would be appreciated but was not required, that I did not have to cook for the kids because the oldest liked doing it though of course I was to feed them. (They had stuff on hand naturally.)

I put the kids in time out when they sassed me and refused to do as I said (not corporal punishment right?) And then they told their mother on me. I’m sure claiming that it was unprovoked, but trust me, it wasn’t. I wasn’t locking them the garage for Pete’s sake, I made them sit in a comfy chair. Was that cruel? No! But their mom still wondered what my problem was.

Can you see where I’m going with this?

At fist the mom told the kids to respect me, but they continued to be disrespectful quite frequently. Especially the eldest one. The younger one never was a problem till her sister set the example.

Then it just got ridiculous. I’m going to list all the over the top things in the Nanny Diaries that actually happened to me:

  1. Getting spied on. No cameras here, no, actual people were at the house, no warning half the time. Completely strangers were just there, watching me and reporting back to the mom. Why? Because her little angels were saying I was dong such a bad job.
  2. Getting a consultant. I wasn’t told tot each the kids French. But I was subjected to a “training” to be a better babysitter. Training really meant I was being supervised and made to do the chores and cook meals. (Even though originally that wasn’t part of the deal. Something my employer conveniently forgot.) I was also put down in front of the kids constantly for not being a good enough babysitter.
  3. Having men around when I was alone with the kids. Yes, the men were relatives. But still, awkward. My dad didn’t like it either.
  4. Getting fired after I did everything my boss said but still didn’t meet some unclear standard. Of course, she didn’t call it firing, she just said she might need me later but for now someone else was taking over.

Ugh.

It drove me crazy. But honestly, I wish that was all in the movie I could relate to. Aside from my complaints, The Nanny Diaries actually shows a very real problem that caregivers like me have: Letting go.

Like Annie, I observed a lot about the kids that the parents were too busy or just chose not to notice. I noted how one of them didn’t get enough attention because the other two were louder and pushier, and how one needed to be treated with more firmness, and the eldest, though she was a pain, wasn’t a bad kid and if she’d been taught respect and shown some more gentle ways, she would have been exceptional.

Babysitters get involved because we can’t help it. If you don’t like kids to begin with you’ve got no business babysitting, and if you like kids you will learn to love them. It’s not hard, children are way more lovable then adults.

And babysitters, because we like kids, and especially if we like to mother them, will study the kids we watch and we will want to help them. It’s part of us.

And that’s why we don’t get along with the parents.

I suspect, secretly, the parents feel guilty that they even need us around, that’s why they keep firing and rehiring. but though it may sting to have your kids turn to someone other than you for comfort, if you can’t be there, then maybe the kids need that stability.

I have no wish to come down on working moms, or dads, nor do I think it can never work out being a babysitter, nanny, or Au pair, and their employer. There’s a delicate balance but it can be achieved. My grandma takes care of my cousins all week without becoming estranged from their parents.

but the truth is, it’s not easy. Often the best babysitters don’t last because the sad fact is the less involved ones make the parents a lot less uncomfortable.

I was no saint, but I cared. I expected that to mean something, it turns out it meant trouble. And it broke my heart to leave those kids. It’s something I haven’t really gotten over even now. To tell you the truth, like Annie, I’m kind of asking why. What was the point of loving them if I had to leave them? And is this kind of love even what kids need? Or do parents just need to be the ones who are there?

Again, not to come down on working parents, but I have to ask the honest question, what does my experience show?

I doubt I’ll ever get the letter from my former boss telling me I showed her something about her kids. I don’t think she wanted me to show her anything.

And I’m left hoping I changed something, just like Annie, but not knowing if I did. Not knowing if my love will mean anything to those kids once their older.

I never had a babysitter like me. I liked mine, but they only watched me a few times, and only once in a while. Not four days a week for two months or more.

I liked the job, but it costs you.

Those are my thoughts one that, sorry this ran so long but it was a memoir.

Until next time–Natasha.

 

Collegiate.

I started college this week, yay!

I can’t tell you how its’ going yet, it’s too early, but let me say i don’t recommend trying to take your car to campus unless you’re ready to be two hours early to your classes.

I’m taking twelve units and I have to be on campus for a good 8 hours, twice a week.

Which is 32 (more or less) hours a month, times four and a half months… some of you know already but I have to think about it… 254 hours I think. Well maybe it’s less than some more ambitious students, but it seems like a good amount to me.

If I complete all those hours that’s a sizable investment of my time.

So far I’m loving it. It’s exhausting but my classes are all in my element. Speech, English, and of course ASL.

I feel sorry for people who can’t afford to go to college, but I recommend community college unless you absolutely have to go to a university for your field of study.

It’s a fourth of the cost if you’re smart.

I didn’t plan on becoming a collegiate. I thought I could get by without it.

And I don’t think you have to go to college, but I realized what I wanted to pursue required it, so the joke is on me.

But I wouldn’t even be doing it if it weren’t for God, and I really mean that.

I’m not being glib here, if I didn’t have my faith to fall back on I don’t think I would have worked up the nerve to go.

I’ve been having stress headaches since November. Right when I started working actually, technically since October.

The doctors diagnosed it a tension from anxiety, but all they could tell me was to take medication for it. And to try to manage my stress.

I think the medical business has to be the most depressing stuff in the world, I never feel anything but discouraged when I visit the doctor. Unless they have that reassuring air about them, not all of them do. I think doctors, as much good as they do, often just don’t know how to make you feel hopeful. Not these young ones anyway, they seem so serious.

But I am not an authority on doctors, thank goodness.

Frankly, I didn’t want to accept that I would just have to live with this problem. So I started trying to find a solution. For awhile all that happened was I ruled out stuff.

Even now I’m not sure of all the factors. But I do know that the problem was and is mostly in my head. And it had its spiritual side.

Some of my church acquaintances and I agreed that though are lives haven’t been ideal and we’re all messed up, we’d be a heck of a lot more messed up if we didn’t have Jesus.

It’s hard to explain unless you know him, it’s not that Jesus takes away all one’s problems or that problems aren’t exceedingly painful.

In fact, in some ways Christians suffer more than other folks, because we have to reconcile our pain with the life we’re supposed to lead and the hope we’re supposed to have.

It sounds like denial, but there’s a fine line between hope and denial. A line that is quite distinct for being thin.

You can hope for something without denying your problem.

How can we dare to do anything unless we hope for a favorable outcome?

So here I go, good luck on your ventures–Natasha.

This is my 300th post! That’s mind boggling.

Seven down, seven up.

Down but not out, they say.

I’ve been down. I’ve had a terrible migraine for two days, I think I’m coming off it finally, but it’s awful.

It’s funny how you can question everything about your life when you’re in pain. Real pain. Physical or emotional. But I prefer emotional, as weird as that sounds. When my pain is interior, I feel I can cope with it better. I feel I know my soul better and know how to fix it.

In reality, I probably know less about my soul than I do about my body. Even though my soul is me, as it were. How well do I even know me?

I need help just to understand what’s causing a pain in the part of me that can be tested and diagnosed. What about the part of me that can’t?

I have a strong suspicion I am not alone in this. I think it’s true of all or most of us that we prefer so remedy our physical suffering before our spiritual suffering. I just read that in “Anne’s House of Dreams.” (I highly recommend reading all 8 books of the Anne of Green Gables series, they all are unique experiences.)

Physical suffering has the odd quality of making you both crosser with people in your life, and more lonely. I’ve spent the day lying around, unable to really put my mind to anything, and I started craving companionship. Just having someone in the same room was a sort of relief.

Yet it’s so easy to bite someone’s head off when you’re sick, and justify it. It’s still wrong, but we all feel that when you’re suffering, it’s harder to bear annoyances.

And if I even get started on how bodily suffering affects our faith. Aiy!

I’ve read somewhere that there never was a philosopher yet who could endure a toothache patiently.

When you’re in pain, you realize what you really cling to in life.

I’m not saying all pain has that effect. Often I think we just accept our pain as normal, and become indifferent to its effects.

I am far from adept when it comes to dealing with pain and suffering. To me it becomes an emotional struggle as well as a physical one.

I think a lot of how people with cancer or other more long lasting disorders or diseases bear them so patiently, and continue to live life as much as they can. What have they got that I haven’t got?

Maybe know their time is short makes it more precious for them, and they fight harder for the good moments in life.

We squander a lot because we can.

I notice that feelings of despair, or a resolve to be a better person or to spend my time more wisely last only as long as I’m in pain. Once it passes I go back to doing as I like, because I can.

Yet I do appreciate being able to do things like make dinner and drive a bit more, simply because I can.It’s a gift to not be in constant pain.

Not that I think that should be the norm by any means. But in this world where it is so often the case, we have to count ourselves lucky when we’re healthy. Especially those of us who don’t have to work at it. (Young folks mostly.)

So, while my good feelings last, I try to be more cheerful. The Bible says the righteous man may fall seven times, but he will rise again. (Proverbs 24:16.)

Which basically means that the righteous will bounce back, that’s what makes them righteous. Goodness takes perseverance more than anything else. Which we all suck at until we’ve been put through the wringer several times and had to stick it out.

Those are my thoughts for now, until next time–Natasha.

What we believe-3

So what  we believe is that Sin is bad, God is good, Jesus is unique, and righteousness starts on the inside.

I might as well call this part Hard things the Bible teaches.

Let me go back now to the person claiming the Bible is too old to shape how we do things.

This person wasn’t a Christian, or even an orthodox Jew from what I could tell, but they aren’t alone. Christians have said that too.

Most specifically about how we discipline children, and view sexual immorality. Both between same sex and opposite sex couples.

They claim that the Bible’s advice to spank children is outdated and part of the mindset back then. They claim this, even though that advice comes directly from Solomon, who was the second wisest man to ever live, according to God Himself. And whose proverbs prove true in every other circumstance. No one argues that laziness leads to poverty, a nagging wife is worse than no wife, and fools can’t be cured by stripes or sound reason.

But we chafe at the idea of hitting Children.

Okay, I’m not a monster, I know it sounds sick. And if I wanted people to agree with me, I could pick almost any other point of contention to discuss and get more open minded responses.

But in true Jesus fashion, I’m going for the most problematic thing.

The reason is, if we discredit God’s view, then we are saying God can be outdated.

The complete arrogance of us, if we claim that God is real, to say that we could be more progressive than Him, is beyond belief.

But people will support gay marriage and ignore what the Bible clearly teaches on it in favor of what the world says, and they will ignore what the Bible says about children.

Now to be clear, the Bible does not say Children are wicked. Jesus encourages us to become like children, but be adults in understanding. And that is why discipline is encouraged. Because Children do not start out wicked. But if neglected, all human nature tends towards it’s worst parts, because we can’t help it. We are born into sin.

I’m going to be fair and admit that thousands of people have been physically disciplined by parents, and it made them worse off, and bitter, and left a scar.

But the only time I was ever mad at my parents truly for spanking me was when it was for something I didn’t do. Injustice is what stings.

Which is why many people do find spanking traumatizing I believe, it’s not the spanking itself. If pain itself equaled trauma we would all hate our siblings who slapped us, or even our friends or our pets.

But when trust has been broken between parent and child, physical discipline, or any discipline at all is fanning the flames.

The issue is trust.

The Bible says that God disciplines those He loves, using suffering often far worse than a spanking, to teach them not to sin, or to teach them patience. It’s not fun.

And people hate it, possibly more now than they ever have. Life is too easy for some of us, and too hard for others. Both types of people will find discipline form God a disheartening idea, and will likely resent it from their parents.

But, and please hear this with an open mind, that doesn’t mean it’s bad.

We need to adjust our idea of bad. To the modern mind, if it is painful; if it produces tears; if it’s upsetting; then it is bad.

But that’s a fairly new, and not an enlightened idea at all.

Because how many more people need therapy now because they think all painful things that happen to them warrant trauma. Things have come to a pretty pass when electing the wrong president is enough to throw people into an emotional tailspin.

Furthermore, spanking is one thing, but people who have a problem with corporal punishment, often (not always) were actually beaten or other wise abused. Spanking leaves no real damage. And a good rule of thumb is, if it damages, it’s too far.

But I’m no expert. To me that is what makes sense.

I’m not saying that every parents needs to spank. Some children can be ruled by other means. But some can’t.

The Bible expects parents to use their heads when it comes to that sort of thing. Jesus once said “if you, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children; how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to you.”

The point is, would God tell us to do it if it wasn’t good?

And that leads to other complaints people have about the old testament. Like why would God command entire nations to be wiped out.

And Christians would never argue that that’s okay now (I hope.)

Any why would God condemn homosexuality? (Don’t shoot the messenger. It’s in there.)

There are two options, maybe three.

Some say God has changed over time. That is, they say that things were different back then, and harsher, and it was a different world. It was, but it’s not because God changes. It’s because we change.

Others say it shows that Christianity is uncivilized in its origins, and that’ is why it can’t be taken seriously now. But they are going by a definition of civil that was ironically created by the spread of Christianity. (until the idea of brotherly love got about, the idea of killing people over religion wasn’t ever considered ridiculous, it’s why Jesus was crucified to begin with.)

The third option, aside from choosing to say some parts of the Bible aren’t real, and not many will go there (I hope;) is that God does not change, but He can change the rules.

C. S. Lewis explained it best in “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.” Certain laws have been in place since before time itself. Time itself is a law that was in place before the law of Moses was given.

And those laws supersede the laws that were given to tide us over till Christ came.

The Law itself is universal, when it comes to how we should treat each other and how we should treat God. But the part about dealing with Sin was never meant to be the way things were forever. And we know that because in the prophets, God speaks often of a time when sin will be gone forever, and forgiven forever, and we will never be separated form Him again. No more sacrifices, no more death, no more suffering.

He also says He takes no delight in animal sacrifices in of themselves. Only preferring them to destroying people. (Wouldn’t’ you?)

This may sound like a broken record, but remember, we are the guilty party here. We are the ones who deserve death. God could justly destroy the whole world, and he almost did once. But he promised never to do it again and He won’t destroy this earth till the end of time.

The only reason we see things differently now is because we’ve had Jesus’ work in place for 2000 years. And the world’s viewpoints have altered. But in the time Jesus was here, they still view all sin as worthy of death.

The point is, though God allows us to question His decisions, it is because of His mercy. Because we don’t have the capacity to understand Him.

But lest this sounds like a cop out when my whole point was to lay out what we believe, let me say that this is what we believe. That no man can understand God unless God enables Him to.

If you understood anything of what I’ve been saying, it’s the grace of God. Because let me tell you, I didn’t use to get it. Often I still don’t.

I have days when it all seems clear to me. But most days, I have the merry go round of opinions spinning through my head. I think about what the world says about God and I wonder what basis I really have for disagreeing.

And the thing is, my doubts prove nothing. Nothing except that men are easily swayed by each other’s opinions. Which is true whatever you believe.

But the fact that sometimes I can see how the pieces fit together, that gives some pause. Because it’s hard to be sure of anything in this chaotic culture of ours.

But I am sure.

And I will continue to be sure, whether or not people think it’s crazy, outdated, or even morally wrong to believe what the Bible teaches.

If a little fall of rain can drown you faith, it didn’t have deep roots to begin with.

Until next time–Natasha.

What we believe-2

Item 1 was talking about how Christianity does not teach that sin is the intended result of free will, or that it is necessary to sin first before choosing good.

“Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it?” Romans 6:1-2

Most have heard the Christmas story. Jesus was born of a virgin, in a stable, and angels announced it.

It sounds like any other religion with its prophets and visions.

The reason I find The Gospels different is because they are so unpretentious. I’ve read some other gospels, and religious texts, and they are always told in a sort of sanctimonious tone. Making everything sound very holy and above our understanding.

That may seem fitting, certainly the church has done the same thing. But the Gospels themselves don’t do it. When they tell the story they state in it simple language, very matter of factly. Only getting excited when talking about glorifying God.

The whole Bible is full of stories like that. Miraculous stuff happens, and is told like it was the time of day.

Some call the Bible boring because of this. But I want to point out that it’s also very humble.

Which is astounding, since it is said to come directly from God himself.

That doesn’t prove it was true. I know that. But it’s different.

The humility of the Bible is important when considering how vital it is, if it is true.

But I digress.

According to the Bible, Jesus was God, and Jesus was man. There’s debate over what that means. But the best explanation I can give is that God, who made man in the first place. obviously could make his son into a man. HE doesn’t need help. The reason He used Mary was so that Jesus could be born into temptation, but not into sin itself. Which is handed down from the father, according to the word. Though also from the mother.

But God is sinless, so Jesus was able to choose that because He was God’s son.

It sounds crazy, but every religion sounds crazy if you look at it though what is possible to man. (That includes secular ones by the way.) If what you believe doesn’t sound nuts to someone, you don’t really have faith.

And there are those skeptics who will pick apart anything that’s a little outside their comfort zone. I trust that’s not any of you, but I’m sure you’ve met them.

So I don’t think we can discount the biblical story just because it sounds crazy. Even for human beings crazy does not equal impossible. (Did you know people have jumped down Niagara falls with no protection at all, and made it. Maybe it was just one person, but still.)

I think we should ask what makes the story of Jesus different from other faith figures.

I think there are others who were known as  humble. But none quite so shockingly unique. I’ve been reading a book called “Beautiful Outlaw” about how Jesus is a collection of contradictions.

And I’m not one who is swayed bye very book I read about God, I discount plenty if it seems wonky. But this book has a very strong biblical foundation that anyone can appreciate.

I know that fact that Jesus seems to contradict himself can make it hard to buy.

However, when Jesus seems to do something, there is always a reason for it.

I want to address something else I heard on the internet now, the idea that we should not use the bible to shape our views of parenting, or of anything I imagine, because it is old and written from a mindset of thousands of years ago.

I’ll get more into that later, but for now I want to address the Christian belief that the Bible is the very Word of God. I don’t know if the Jews beleive that, or if they believe it about every book in the Old Testament. But Christians believe it about the whole thing.

And if that is so, then there’s no way God’s ideas can be outdated. Think about it.

But also, if that is true, what do we do with the fact that Christians do not follow Old testaments Law? IF it was the word of God, aren’t we hypocrites.

And Jesus said He did not come to remove he law but to establish it.

Jesus also allowed his disciples to break the law by plucking grain on the Sabbath so that they could eat. He also healed on the Sabbath. (Which is not forbidden by the way, but at the time it was condemned by the pharisees.) Sow hat gives? And why do Christian now balk at the passages that strongly condemn sinners to death or other horrendous punishments.

Well, the interesting thing is that until Jesus came, there weren’t a whole lot of peaceful gods in any religion. I’m not sure there were any. All the old mythology I know about had blood thirsty, or temperamental gods. And God has been accused of being the same. Though the prophets tell us that He takes no delight int he death of the wicked.

Jesus changed the fad.

The reason Christians believe that we can have more mercy now, and that we don’t have to eat certain foods and not eat others, and do all these rituals to purify ourselves is because Jesus did it all for us.

Christianity differ from Judaism int hat it start the work from the inside out, instead of the outside in. If you change inside, then outside you will soon follow. But outside first never changed anyone.

Jesus fulfilled the law not in that he enforced every single command, but that he brought us the real why behind them. He showed us that The sacrifices and eating and not eating were all things meant to tide us over, to teach us what holiness is through outward examples, but that it was never meant to actually take us there on it’s own.

God says this in Isiah when he mentions how the people honor him with their lips, and go through the motions of his commands “but their hearts are far from me.”

It is not hypocrisy for Christians to no longer practice some parts of the law, but actually part of what the whole faith is about. Being righteous inside first, not outside.

I can get a little more into that later that’s all for now–Natasha.

What we believe-1

I’m starting right in with a new mini series of posts. This time around, my topic is the semantics of Christianity.

The reason I wanted to do this is not purely to convert anyone, it’s actually because I keep seeing people on the internet describe what Christianity, only they don’t describe it. They think I believe something totally different.

This is getting on my nerves, so in order to feel better,  I’m gong to explain what I believe and why.

(A quick warning, Christians don’t agree on everything, I’ll try to stick to the basics, but there’s always going to be some debate between sects. Most of it is over minor stuff so I hope no one will start an argument in the comment section over it. Thanks.)

Okay, topic number one: What is Christianity?

Better yet, why does it claim to be different from every other religion?

The skeptic will always doubt that there really is any difference, and might not care what the difference is because it still involves God.

But as far as theists are concerned the difference is important.

All religions, (even the godless ones) try to answer life’s fundamental questions about our identity, purpose, and who is in charge over everything. Christianity is no different here. But Christianity goes a step further. It not only answers all this, but it answers the question of why these things are the way they are.

We are made in God’s image. The reason is, God wanted to make independent beings who could love Him of their own free will. (That’s the semantics part.) Because, love is a choice.

Now the mistaken internet person I was watching yesterday made an error after this point. I won’t tell you who it was, though I doubt any of you watch her. (It would be uncanny if you all knew the same people as me.)

What she said was that we can’t attain heaven, until we’ve been given free will. Being born into it makes it boring. And that Christianity shows this by having man first choose to leave paradise, and then to regain it by sacrificing his life, thereby earning it.

I could see how, if you view Christianity as just another myth, you might think that Adam and Christ are both meant to represent mankind. Therefore making the whole thing a metaphor for how we have to earn our stripes, as it were.

But the real thing we believe is that we earned the stripes, and Christ took the beating for us.

It is true that Adam and Christ both represent Man. As do all of use individually at some point in our lives. We all constantly reenact Adam’s choice to sin, and hopefully we reenact Christ’s choice to put ourselves aside, sometimes.

But the Bible never claims that this is a metaphor. It’s quite literal. Christ was able to pay the price for Adam’s sin, and all Adam’s children (us and also himself) because he never sinned. Because he was also God in the flesh. (More on that later.)

The idea that man needed free will in order to sin so that heaven could be a choice is flat out ludicrous.

It seems to make sense in this world, where the idea of never sinning seems impossible.

But that’s because we’v lived here all our lives and never seen an example of anyone who doesn’t sin, except for a young baby.

But that’s what Adam was, compared to us. A baby in terms of sin. As indeed, Christian are admonished to be by the Bible. (1 Corinthians 14:20)

It doesn’t mean however, that sin will make you grow up. We all know immature people who do things that are wrong and won’t listen to reason, they aren’t more grown up than us. They are less.

The reason sin is associated with adulthood is because the older we get, the more of it we know about. Which is a tragedy, not an asset. I wish there was no sin to know about, but because there is, I have no choice but to deal with that fact.

But how is it good for me? The idea that sin is good for man, in that in enables him to choose heaven, is against everything the Bible teaches.

Whether you disagree or not is irrelevant to the topic, since I am merely laying out what the Bible actually says. (Not saying as of now that you have to accept it.)

This is just what’s actually in there. Sin brought death (see Romans.) Man brought sin into the world. Sin leads to death, which leads to hell, unless it is redeemed through Christ.

Hell is not good. Also, God cannot live with what is not good. So, if sin was the key to getting into heaven, how would that work?

I think the real idea this YouTuber had was that sin enables you to truly become good. But that’s also not true.

Goodness is linked to purity. The Bible says God desires a pure heart. Pure means not mixed. A heart that’s mixed with sin is not pure.

And pure goodness is preferable to partial goodness.

Romans also says no one in righteous, no not one.

So, it doesn’t matter if we choose good in the end. We aren’t righteous because we choose to do good, since we’ve all chosen evil before.

Jesus himself taught that if you break one of the commandments, you break all of them.

What this means is, only one sin is enough. Sins aren’t cancelled out by good deeds. Not in Christianity anyway. It is because to sin is to cast yourself infinitely away from God.

The idea is to be without any sin, ever, that was how man was created.

If we were all good, we wouldn’t be bored. It’s only because we sin that it becomes pleasurable to us. I think we all know this deep down, if we look back to when we were kids and still felt guilty over thing we take for granted now.

That’s all for this post, till next time–Natasha.