Author: toseealife

Turn: Part 6

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“A time to gain and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to throw away; a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak.” Eccl 3:6-7

I’ve talked about keeping and throwing away before. And tearing and sewing. But I’ll briefly mention them.

Let’s look at clutter. Clutter is anything with no obvious or immediate use that lies around taking up space. The trouble with clutter is that it takes up good storage space. And when we get new thing we have no where to put them and they become more clutter. Kind of a cycle. Clutter often represents old dreams. That tool we’ve always wanted to use; that dish we’ve always wanted to try; that place we’ve always wanted to go; that book we’ve always meant to read. The sheer accumulation of stuff is exhausting, till one doesn’t even want to think about it. Well, then it’s time to decide what you will keep and what needs to be thrown away. I’m naturally a pack rat, so it’s a challenge to throw away anything I ever might use. But one just has to bear down on it after procrastinating for too long. Dreams are great, aired out and re-examined as Anne of Avonlea said.

Of course, tearing out old threads and sewing things back up applies to any range of things.

But on the note of keeping let me turn to another subject–our thought lives.

I think a writer has a unique perspective on thought. Because, at least in my case; we leave our thought everywhere. Put on paper, my thoughts can get carried all over my house, left on furniture or on the kitchen counter. In my room it often looks like a tornado met a stack of paper. This, however, means my thoughts are disorganized. It’s quite a poignant metaphor for actual thinking. If our minds were a house, our thoughts would often be all over the place, and in the wrong place. Important ones might be on the floor, why secondary lists of things would be on the wall. I need better organization. Often the trouble is we don’t take the time to organize; at other times there is just no place to put stuff.

When organizing my papers, I find old ideas I don’t need anymore, plans I can’t carry out, and even nasty blowing-off-steam writings that I just threw out. Making more room for important stuff. I’ll find old dream and goal lists. I’ll find gifts from other people or I’ll find stories I wrote that I can improve upon.

If we just took a few minutes a day to examine our own thoughts in the same way, we’d be surprised at the trash–and treasure–we would find. Hint: The best way is to catch a thought as it comes and either think it through or discard it immediately. Purposely.

And readers, the time to speak is coming; or perhaps it is at hand now. I am tired of silence. Not pure silence. Peaceful silence. No I want that. I am tired of scared, or guilty, silence. The silence of people who have been thoroughly cowed. It is time to shut up about what we want and what bothers us; and instead speak about what we need and what is wrong and must be stopped.

Life: The heart of the issue of abortion.

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I have heard someone say “if your opinion is right than why do you feel the urge to get upset about someone else’s?” But as good as this sounds, I was disturbed about the example he had used: abortion.

I have to say, I was with him until then. But I can’t condone that because it is something to get upset about. In fact, anything you perceive as very wrong is okay to get upset about. That is the healthy reaction. It is not that I am in favor of knee-jerk reactions. (I’m not and I’ve thought this article out.) There are plenty of subjects this guy’s advice applies to–but never abortion. You cannot talk lightly about such an evil. Yes, I called it an evil. I don’t do that lightly. I have a reason for making abortion exempt from his advice and this is it: If this guy had said to be calm about the issue of domestic violence, homicide, or even arson, (any of the clinically insane, or wicked crimes,) there would have been no debate about whether it (the crime) was the wise choice, or the best one. No one would claim those things should be made legal, unpunishable, or considered harmless. Or helpful to society. Even the most tolerant of political persons would not say that. (Publicly anyway.) They would not advocate homicide.

How has abortion been reduced to an issue even in the minds of Christians? Just introducing it as a political issue has effectively got everyone’s minds off whether it is an evil or not, and onto simply what their individual rights are…How dare we? Since when is it okay to justify any other crime by the person’s individual rights to commit whatever felony they wish? How can you have a right to do wrong? In their heart of hearts, I believe everyone knows it’s not right; whatever they may think to the contrary. But that is beside the point.

Even so, the pro-life campaign often lacks gusto, or is far too angry. (Not always.) I am sick at heart when I listen to other Christians or conservatives speak so “logically” and “rationally” about it. It is not that we shouldn’t be rational. It is that we are so used to the idea. What has happened to us? One word: desensitized.

I have a personal example: A couple of years back I took it upon myself to do something pro-life. To be a good Christian. And to my dismay; my first wall I had to crash through was the apathy and indifference I myself felt. Sadly, my passion had more to do with a teenager’s desire to be up and doing, and to shake things up, than because I had any real sense of the value of life. I realized I didn’t have much. Only the barest hint that  I ought to. And a disgust with the whole abortion process. Anyone can have that.

It is to my shame that I admit this, and that even today I am no expert on how valuable life is. But back then I did what I do ultimately with every problem, I took it to God and asked Him to change my heart. Whether everyone would agree that it is Him who did so, I don’t know. But it is true that I have learned some things about valuing life

The first one was this: Our lack of value for these babies’ lives actually reflects a lack of value for our own lives. Do you really think it’s coincidental that suicide rate has sky-rocketed right along with abortion rates? Not to mention the aforementioned homicide, and less obvious things like self-induced health problems, cutting, and depression have increased also. It can all be traced to an undervalue of our own lives and bodies. If you will not care properly for yourself, how can you care for someone else? As a pre-teen, I spent a lot of time wondering what I was even alive for because I was so miserable. Over a period of a few years God began to show me that I had value simply because I was loved by Him. (What else gives anything true value?) And that my life was a gift from Him; both to me and to the world. God loves every baby and every person. And He gives each of us His gift of life.

“The Thief comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy; I came that they might have life and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

Secondly. Faith of our Fathers. I like to read about the American Revolution and the prelude to it. And in reading the writings of our founding fathers, and about their actions, it was quite clear to me that they put a high value on human life. In fact, at that time, it was generally accepted that human life had immense worth. They respected their own lives and each others more than our most celebrated people of today respect theirs. Why?

It was their belief in God. I delivered a speech a couple years ago about abortion. At the end of it I concluded. “Life is what we would call ‘sacred’ something that is important to God.” Holy. King David actually prayed that God would deliver him “because I am holy.” That is such an unusual thing for someone to say in the Bible that it caught my attention. What was David onto that we are not? In the Bible it says God began human life and made Man according to His own likeness. It also refers to God’s commands as the path of life.  Finally Jesus himself declared. “I am…the life.” God takes life very seriously. In Proverbs it warns of seven things God calls an abomination. One of them is this: “Hands that shed innocent blood.” Note the word innocent. Innocent means the person has done nothing wrong. Existing is not a crime but a privilege. (A friend of mine says “there are no illegitimate children, just illegitimate parents.”) Thomas Jefferson so famously called it “a right.” Unalienable. That means you cannot negate it. You cannot take it out of context. There are no loopholes. No exceptions. The race or age or upbringing of the person does not matter. When Jefferson said all men are created equal he was referring to our three rights. Folks, there is no inequality of life. Either you are alive, or you are dead. End of discussion.

Before I give my third thing I want to share a story.

Once a long time ago, there was a girl named Mary. There was nothing notably special about her, save that she had immense faith. One day Mary was going about her business, never dreaming there was anything unusual  afoot. And then out of nowhere an angel appeared to her. Greeting her as the favored of God. To her amazement, he proceeded to tell her she would become pregnant with the Son of God. Mary of course was astounded. And asked how this would happen since she was a virgin. I’m sure she was probably thinking “Not to mention I’m engaged!” The angel told her the spirit of God would come upon her. Okay–weird. Being pregnant out of wedlock would get a woman stoned in those days, not a fun way to die. But Mary said “Let it be with me as you say.”

Imagine if Mary had lived nowadays. What would her friends have encouraged her to do? Quite possibly to have an abortion. Can’t you just see it? “Oh Mary, yeah, you screwed up, but hey, no one has to know. Having a baby will ruin your life right now. Think of what your man will say? Your parents will kill you. Literally.” And so on. Am I the only one the idea of aborting the Son of God is freaky to? It’s absolutely horrible to think of doing that. But every life is God given. That horridness is just as poignant with every other human child.

Thirdly. Life is beautiful.  Books and nature mostly are what helped me to realize this. Reading The Enchanted April or The Secret Garden reawakened my imagination to what a fine thing it is to be living. Living things are beautiful and human life is beautiful. The things we experience, the obstacles we overcome, the joy we spread in each others lives. Life is not a convenience. It is the second most valuable thing we have. (The first being the love of God which gave us life.)

My reason for writing this is to inspire people to discover life’s value for themselves, and then to protect it. And fight for it–everywhere. We need those who will speak up and stop treating abortion like a mere issue. It is not. It is literally a matter of life and death. If you are a Christian, I implore you to take a few moments to pray about this, asking God to open your heart. Lastly, be thankful for this most precious of gifts–life.

Natasha.

Turn: Part 4

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“A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.” Ecclesiastes 3:5

The idea of casting away stones in the bible seems akin to the practice of stoning (no not on drugs.) One of the worst forms of punishment for sin in the Old Testament. And gathering stone could refer to that as well. however The Preacher’s (Solomon) father King David used a sling in his early days to defend himself from threats. He would gather stones and then of course sling them away. Interestingly stones were also used to build altars to sacrifice to the Most High on. But laying aside biblical application for the moment, let’s think about what the action of gathering and casting away actually symbolizes: Preparation and action.

There is a time to prepare for meting out justice, defending you home, and purifying yourself; and then there is the time to stop preparing and actually do it. That goes for just about everything. Work, relationships, studying.

And upon mentioning relationships I come to the second half of the verse. Honestly. Being the homeschooled Christian that I am, I’ve mostly heard this verse used in context with Purity. Which is most certainly one application. But in my limited experienced embracing means much more than hormones. It requires trust to let someone touch you and to touch them. Even if it’s no more than a shoulder pat or a hand squeeze or the notorious side-hug. If you touch someone before they are ready you create unpleasantness in the relationship. And mistrust, if you persist long enough. But then again, sometimes people don’t know how much they need it. I’m serious, at my church hugging is the thing, and at first I felt awkward with it, but then I began to appreciate it. At least people thought of me enough for that even if they couldn’t say much by way of greeting. It’s not too hard to tell when someone is just uncomfortable and when they’re flat out disturbed.

And embracing is more than physical. There’s a time to open up inside, and a time to refrain from doing so because the other person is just not ready or able to return it. There’s a time to pull someone close, and a time to give them their space. There’s preparation for this too, Like courting or dating before getting engaged.

I’ve read that in the time of Christ, engagement consisted of a year of abstinence before official marriage, during that time the man would build a house and court the young woman; building her trust we can hope. I’ve read similar things about some tribes of native Americans. That the families would observe the couple individually to see if they were good workers and would make good companions for each other. It seems like a wise idea to me, preparing for commitment is kind of like standing on the edge of a diving board. You want to get into the right position and jump from the right place on the board and launch a perfect dive.

There are seasons in and of preparation and they are different for everyone. The important thing is to remember to exercise restraint and allow for time. And to give other people time as well. Don’t use the phrase “You’re holding out on me.” Preparation is the time to learn patience because like it or not, every season of life is preparing you for another. I like to think of it as going from glory to glory.

Be prepared for part 5, until then–Natasha

Turn: Part 3

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“A time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;” Ecclesiastes 3:4

Of course I’m excited about this post. This is right up my alley. But I’m not always laughing or dancing for all that.

Last week was Thanksgiving week, and that brought some things to mind for my family. We have a lot to be grateful for; business has picked up, and we have our friends and of course our faith has grown this year. I loved spending the Wednesday before with my two cousins who I only get to see every so often and that next month I’ll get to see my other cousins who I only see twice a year.

 Today I also found out a girl with a YouTube channel I watch was in a bus crash last week. (Her channel is called Katie Gregiore) She seemed okay but a little emotional about it. It’s true life is short. Morbid as this sounds, a few years ago I didn’t even know if I’d make it to 2015. People thought the world would end in 2012. Well of course here we all are. But life is not less precious because we have more of it. Life does not equal time. Perhaps you already know that, maybe you’ve spent the holidays without people close to you. Maybe you’ve had a rough year. It’s not a sin to cry on a holiday or use it as a day to remember people who made a difference in your life.

There is a time to mourn and a time to weep:

Actually it can be quite a relief to hear that it’s okay to feel sad and to grieve loss. The way I see it this verse is speaking three different ways.

  1. To all the people who do nothing but mope about their troubles: stop it! There is a time for that, but it’s a season, and depending on the loss a few weeks or a few years, and it’s time to move on. Not to be unsympathetic or anything, losing something you can’t replace will always hurt, but hurt doesn’t have to be the center of your life and it shouldn’t be. Cry, be angry, talk it out; but do not pitch your tent on the hill of sorrow.
  2. To the people who never face their troubles. Or who drown them in merriment and parties and busyness, until you go numb: This is almost worse than burying yourself in sadness because it means losing a part of you that is the key to you health in soul and body. It’s okay to “crash and break down” and be human, so long as you don’t switch to blaming other people for it.
  3. To the people who haven’t faced sorrow or trouble yet: There is a balance to maintain between you negative and positive thoughts and emotions. better to know it now then find it out after trouble comes and mishandle it badly.

There is a time to laugh and a time to dance:

I have heard that we should celebrate things in our lives, ourselves, other people, personal and public victories. Whether celebrating means throwing a party, dancing around your house with the blinds shut, or just giving yourself a much needed or wanted break; I think it sounds wonderful. Or celebrate other people by telling them you care about them. If you’re like me and words are awkward try gifts or doing little things for them or spending time with them even if it’s something you don’t enjoy. It is perfectly okay to do this, and with the holidays coming up what better time to start making a practice of it. You may not have relatives you look forward to seeing but let’s face it the holidays are not about you, they are always about doing things for other people.

THANKS + GIVING= A holiday . Holidays are celebrated for the purpose of being glad for good things. To give thanks means to think, speak ,and act grateful for our blessings. However many or however few we have.

So with the good things and the bad, the happy and the sad, I hope you enjoy the holidays this year.

Have a great time!–Natasha

Turn: Part Two

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“A time to be born, and a time to die. A time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up.” Ecclesiastes 3:2-3

Birth-death, planting-plucking, kill-heal, break down-build up. I notice a theme. Beginning and ending, making and destroying.

I’m not going to use this terminology too literally for my points, that might get weird, but I’ll try and be more analogical.

Birth-Death

You had a time to be born, and you have a time to die (probably). You couldn’t choose to be born, and you should not choose to die either. Until we can make our own bodies work we can’t say we have full power over them. So the attitude people view living with nowadays bugs me a lot. This life is not a long one to begin with. Why throw it away? According to the Bible, God Himself is the source of life, and sin is the source of death. All throughout history wicked men have this in common: not a single one of them valued human life, or any life really. In this age, death is everywhere you look, and movies treat it like it’s a thing to be toyed with and life a thing to be experimented on. What?!!! There is a time to die, but the danger of focusing on it so much is that, quite soon, it ceases to be real to you. I know people who will tell you that the plots of horrid movies are not real to them, so they have no affect on their minds. Never mind the psychos who’ve used such movies as inspiration and the actors who’ve committed suicide over them. Losing value for your life is far worse than losing value for your death. Most people think their death might matter to a couple people, but their life seems to matter to no one. This is wrong because whether you know it or not, every life touches so many others. The movie It’s a Wonderful Life gets it about right. My conclusion is that birth and death are out of our hands and YOLO  and YODO aside, it’s best not to focus on them.

Planting-Plucking

We do have control over what we plant and what we reap. We can literally plant food, or we can plant ideas, words, money, gifts, talents, and so on. But we’re human; it would be silly to suppose everything we plant is good. We’ve all said dumb things and acted badly. We’ve given people false information, and we make mistakes with our money. Sometimes you have to try to undo what you did.

But the idea of reaping really deals with good crops. You can take the wheat and sort out the weeds, but if you plant well there will always be more wheat. It is okay to profit in some way by the work you do. There is a time to give and give (sowing), and there is a time to receive it back. But be sure to share your wealth because the more you sow the more you reap. In one way or another.

But a seed is quite different from the fruit. You could sow money into a charity; you won’t get money back, but the reward of having helped another person. You could sow effort into a project and you will get a finished project, not more effort. This does seem to be a statement of the obvious, but it’s surprising how often we expect to get the same thing back as we gave. (Like in relationships. “I did __  for you so you should do it for me.”) In all honesty, sometimes you sow more seed than you get back. No one says it’s fair or that it isn’t often exhausting. The only thing to do then is conclude the crop was more valuable than the seed anyway. This especially applies to relationships; as well as education and charity work.

[Never be afraid to examine your work for “weeds”; it’ll improve your field in the long run.]

Killing-Healing

This is trickiest of all because killing anything, even an inanimate object or feeling, is a serious thing. I will not suggest ever killing innocent things, (like the daydreams of a child.) Nor do I suggest killing deep things (like love and a sense of justice.) Those are better redirected. But there is a time to kill. For example, there are dreams that never will come true, and if they are not really important to our psyche, it’s better to let them go. There are ideas that are not good for us and should be killed as soon as possible. (Lies about ourselves and about other people, envy, greed, pettiness, are all such ideas.) You can kill a thought by immediately calling it what it is (bad, wrong, a lie) and rejecting it. Imagine you’ve shut your mind to it. Or, even more ceremoniously, writing out your goodbye to a dream that isn’t good for you or a memory that haunts you. (Something I wish soap opera screen writers would do.) Then heal. It’s okay to cry, but healing truly comes by replacing the old things with new. Replanting so to speak. It’s great when one can heal other people, but seeking healing for yourself comes first. And you have to believe it’s possible. Kill the lie that you are stuck with your hang-ups and faults; there really is a cure for all of them. Though it probably won’t be the same for each. (Not that I really have to state that, but there’s always one who’ll try the one-size-fits-all method.)

Break Down-Build Up

We cant pluck away some of the parasites in our lives, but a lot of problems have to be broken down bit by bit. My dad works with bricks quite a lot. In masonry, it’s one brick at a time, each cemented to the next; until, hopefully,  you’ve built a sturdy wall. (If you know what you’re doing.) Tearing down a brick wall isn’t a matter of wrecking balls or other such tools. Bricks are valuable because they’re re-usable, and you don’t want to damage them if they’re still any good. So again, step by step. It’s hard work.

Some things we build in our lives are too crumbly to be useful and tearing them down is all we can do. But most ideas, activities, and relationships have good stuff in them somewhere. Then is the time to be careful about tearing down. It’s okay to have a break down (emotional ones included) if you can pick up the pieces and rebuild something stronger. Sometimes the brick wall can become a brick road if you go about it the right way. But know the people you’re with, know how to perform your activities, and know the truth of your ideas, or I guarantee it’ll be built all wrong crooked and unstable.

Take, for instance, the play “Much Ado About Nothing.” Claudio and Don Pedro do not really know Don Jon’s character nor Hero’s, and trust Don Jon’s word over hers, causing much trouble over something that never happened. It takes very extreme methods to rebuild after that. Of course their trust wasn’t built on the right thing in the first place.

This is already so long it seems unfair to keep going. I hope my examples made sense. I’m looking forward to writing part three. Until then–Natasha

 

Turn: Part one

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“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven:”

I’m finally doing another multiple part-er because I’m writing about a topic I can’t do justice to in one stretch; and that is timing.

Time itself is the most elusive thing in our lives; we can’t stop or start it; we can’t save it or hold it still; we can’t see it. Because we control it so little, it is the most precious of our commodities and though people say that few of them understand it. I don’t myself. I can’t possibly fit all the time in the world into my head. I find myself time-bound and not by choice, and perhaps the reason we try to ignore it is simply because of that very fact. As Fern’s mother says in Charlotte’s Web, “I don’t like what I can’t understand.”

Nonetheless some understanding of time is necessary, and I don’t mean the physics of it. The beginning quote is from Ecclesiastes 3, and that’s what I’ll be using to launch my discussion of time.

I’d like to note the verses says “…every purpose under heaven.” Not in heaven. According to what I’ve read, there is a succession of events in heaven but no limitation. Eternity is literally time without limit. God is not bound to our time. This is important to know because I don’t want to imply things have to happen by deadlines and rigid schedules to be organized and valuable. That is utterly silly and not a faith based viewpoint at all. No, I mean what I’m going to call seasonal timing.

Ever work a seasonal job position? I have; it lasted not even two full months that I recall. It wasn’t that I was a bad worker or the boss was mean. I simply was no longer needed. Things in our lives that are seasonal are the ones we need for a while, but then the time comes when we no longer need it, and just like a plant, it dies away.

A job, a car, a book, an organization, a hobby, even a church; these are all things that can be temporarily the right thing for us, but then we outgrow them. Not every time. Some jobs are your life’s work, some organizations are your job, and you can find the church you should stay in forever. But if that is the case, you can be sure those things will change with time, otherwise we would get too comfortable. C. S. Lewis explains in more detail in The Screwtape Letters about the parallel of change and consistencies, his own example(s) include that we have four seasons every year, but each season is different. And serves a different purpose I might add. Which will neatly bring me to my next point.

“A time for every purpose…”

Every season has a purpose in teaching us life lessons. Having this blog is a seasonal thing, and I recognize that it teaches me to be a better writer; I can hope my articles will help someone else out in their seasons, but at least I know it is doing one person good. Therefore, it has a purpose. Purpose is one of the most important words in the English language. We can’t do a thing without it. (Try thinking that over for a few minutes.) It can also change the way we thing of our seasons. I have often heard preachers say that the bad times are only for a season, and suffering is but a season. And for awhile, this satisfied me. But naturally I began to wonder why the season had to come in the first place. This subject is far too complicated to cover in one post (or even a whole book) but one way to at least retain sanity through suffering is to see it as serving a purpose. Maybe it makes our character stronger, or it teaches us not to take good things for granted, or it shows us how frail we are and how limited. Turning us back to God. (Some it turns away from God, but that is another story.) Suffering also teaches us not to make the same stupid mistakes over and over again, because honestly some of it is our fault. Suffering gives us more compassion for other people’s problems and pain.

The other half of purpose is, of course, in the good times. Remember even good times have something to show us. We aren’t supposed to drift through them and get lazy. No way! Our brains need to keep learning to stay sharp and stay happy; stupid people usually aren’t happy. (If they are, I dare say they’re not as stupid as they seem.) So if you don’t learn when you’re not in school and don’t work when you’re not at your job, your life probably feels meaningless, like you’re going nowhere, and who really needs you around anyway? No, I’m not reading your diary, this is not-so-common sense folks. Use every season as a tool and a stepping stone into the next.

[Teenagers!: Read the book “Do Hard Things” by Alex and Brett Harris or visit their website http://www.therebelution.com, for more about this subject.]

Integrate seasons and purpose into your way of thinking and see what a difference it will make, until part two readers–Natasha.