In depth

Flashing lights and the buzz of speakers ( thoughts on the effect of televison.)

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I got a much better response on my last post than I expected, so I will try to do a good job on this follow up. Which I was planning anyway.

I like to ignore statistics and go for what I see as the heart of a matter. I don’t believe numbers speak to very many people, to a lucky few perhaps.

I quoted a TV show in my last post, which was ironically about staying away from screens. But for once I felt the show did a good job of making its point and I was actually apt to consider its truth after watching. There are very few such shows that I’m aware of.

For an opening quote here’s this little tidbit by Raymond Shaw (The Manchurian Candidate.) “Have you noticed that the human race is divided into two distinct, irreconcilable groups? those who walk into rooms and automatically turn television sets on, and those who walk into rooms and automatically turn them off.” I can’t say I fall into either of these groups. We no longer have a TV in my house, but when we did I fell more into the second category. I really don’t like television.

It’s one thing to think it’s bad for you, it’s another to actually dislike something. But I do. I dislike it firstly because I feel dumber after I watch it for longer than a half hour. (I blame commercial breaks.) Secondly, because it gives me a headache. Thirdly, I have a deeper reason: I don’t like what it does to conversation. I have relatives who will never turn off the TV set if they can possible help it. In fact, that is the majority of my extended family. I have cousins younger than ten who’ve seldom sat in a room with the absence of flashing lights and the buzz of speakers. Younger than ten. I wasn’t allowed to watch things everyday till I was at least eleven, or if I went through a phase my mom stopped it in time. What bothers me is how normal the magic box seems to kids, how inseparable from life. I have true concern for this; I’m not just criticizing for the sake of criticism.

I believe the format of screen time is a problem, but I am coming to think more and more that it’s also the format of what is shown. When you watch episode after episode of disconnected material, with more disconnected material in the form of commercials, and worse, if you channel surf as many of us do, what is your mind supposed to make of it all? Our minds are designed for learning. They organize information, process it in various ways, store it, or discard it if it’s unimportant. The more the info makes sense, the better out minds learn something of substance. Reinforcement is crucial. So is building off what you’ve already learned. This being the case, a TV show that is random and disintegrated is very hard for your mind to make any sense of. It doesn’t know what you’re trying to learn, or how, or why. So it goes to sleep in a sense. (I have no proof of this except my own observations and what I’ve heard about  brain memory and receptivity. I thought I should put a disclaimer.) Here’s the kicker, when you choose to fill your fun hours in this manner, all real learning becomes difficult and “work.” If it was just TV, we might recover, but now phones and ipads make this a constant part of our day.

We as adults and older teens have a choice, but kids don’t always. I don’t know if we realize that they’ve been taught to see screen time as necessary, normal, and a good way to please their parents by keeping quiet. For every adult complaining, there’s 2 or 3 kids who can’t understand why screen watching is a bad thing and not socially acceptable. In fact, I myself am guilty of sending mixed messages to kids about this. I have regrets for it.

Choice is the key. TV is not evil except in the hands of evil, whether an evil person or just an evil system that cripples kids. So, if we take TV back into our own hands, and sets some boundaries, we can redeem it.

Luckily, I have some experience in this area, so if you’re open, I can help.

Step 1: Remove yourself from temptation. “I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book.”–Groucho Marx.

I made the stupid mistake in my early days of resisting the screen: I would sit in the same room as it. I still do this, but I’ve learned that giving myself something else to do is a huge determent to giving in. Whether it’s doing a puzzle, knitting, or going in my room and reading, writing, or turning on the radio so I can’t hear what’s being watched; any other thing to focus on that gets focus off what I’m missing.

Step 2: Get educated.

It really is amazing what the absence of distraction does for the interest. I guess we just get so desperate without  a screen that we’ll go for anything. Try reading books. I find the more I read, the less important TV seems to me. Now to be fair, often books remind of a movie, but a movie is better assembled and can be wholesome, if only one is watched at a time. With long movies, intermission seems like a good idea to me now, just to get refocused. As I read, I change, as I change I care less about the culture’s opinions, so why would I watch things that were made only to spread those opinions?

Step 3: Get involved.

Why not spend more time talking to people. Some people only need a slight nudge to put down their phones and engage. Children may be harder or easier, it depends. But we all love it if someone really wants to talk to us, and if we had no texting, oh my gosh! Maybe we would want to talk to people! Join a group, take a walk, ask your neighbors over for dinner, go to church and volunteer for something, take a class. Check out your downtown areas. Go to a library.

“I thought we were gonna get television…but the truth is, television is going to get us.”–Dick Goodwin,

Please, don’t let it get you. We all need to fight it, because it is far more serious than we imagine.

Until next post– Natasha

 

Millions of flashing lights.

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I wonder what people are doing when they find this blog. Surfing through internet stuff to kill time. Or perhaps checking their own blog and then seeing what’s new on WordPress. Not that I’m ungrateful or think that’s a bad thing, I just wonder how much of it we do.

People say we are over connected nowadays, we’ve all heard it. Most of us probably agree with the statement to a degree, just not as it affects us. I have heard statistics, but I’m not going to list any about the subject at hand. There are no statistics  that can measure how connected you feel with the people around you. Can we take a moment to acknowledge that, good.

The truth of the matter is, nothing you see in front of you can make a connection with your heart of hearts if all it is is flashing lights. Why don’t we ever ask ourselves just what the substance of a text, or a post, or a picture is? It’s flashing lights, it’s not the sound of a human voice, or the touch of human affection, or a real face in front of us. It’s just an image. It serves about the same purpose as a photograph or a letter used to, conveying part of the person, as a way to remember them and get a small taste of who they were when they couldn’t be with us. The more you knew them, the more you could get out of such reminders. Pictures are good I think, and it’s fine to take them even on a phone, but can they substitute for actually seeing the person?

Three things that don’t have value in a culture of technology:

  1. Privacy.
  2. Silence.
  3. Seriousness.

For the first thing: Moments of being alone with your thoughts. Time to yourself. This is not seen as a good thing, by you or by your friends who keep texting you all the time, or who constantly post new things for you to read. Wanting time alone can only mean you’re tired and cranky, not that you want to stay SANE.

Secondly, there is almost no silence. When we’re tired we turn on the TV or whatever our preferred form of tech is, ( if you don’t do this, then you have my apologies,) but I’ve found I’m more rested after just a little quiet time outdoors or in my room. If a stay at home mom is reading this, I know it’s hard to get a break; if a working person is reading this, I know that it can be just as hard to. Frankly, if you go to school it’s even harder because half your day is taken up without your consent. But there are still hours of time that most of us have that we fill with distaction form how tired we are, instead of rest.

Thirdly, When your day is crammed full of things that seem disconnected with each other, it’s hard to give full attention to anything. Again, if you go to school it is not your choice that subjects are seperated by the hour, but an hour is too long for some things, and far too short for others. I can spend hours writing, I get frusterated if I spend one hour trying to figure out a song on the keyboard. I have to take it in little bites.  Our minds look for connection and patterns, we need them to make sense of the world. The whole world is one interworking system, nothing is independent of everything else, yet nothing is the same. Both sameness and irregularity play havoc with our ability to reason and think and feel.

Yet entertainment is becoming increasingly both same and irregular. People who play the parts in the media industry now utter lines that come out of nowhere, and whose very randomness is supposed to be funny. I laugh sometimes, but unless it is very well done, such humor shows less, not more, cleverness. And plots are cliched. Based on what sells, not on a good message. I have to give Disney and Pixar credit for sometimes being an exception to this, but only sometimes. By and large there are no exceptions beyond the least popular movies and shows.

More than movies though, is our hopping from computers to phones to tablets to ipads to computers again, in a cycle of boredom.

Let me now quote a show called “Girl meets world”I heard this on one episode and liked it a lot.

“Not until we switch off our computers, put down our phones, and look into each others eyes, will we be able to touch each other’s hearts..there is no connection you can make with any screen that compares with the moment you understand only human beings have souls.”

Note the word understand. If you’ve read this far, I must have your interest on some level, so please, attend. I cannot possibly state enough the importance of knowing human beings have souls.

Personal story: A while back my sister and I decided to stop watching movies and youtube clips on the weekdays, we wanted to spend more time reading, and doing other stuff, and getting our studies done. At first it was hard and it still is in a way, (although I’m currently on break for a week,) but I noticed a change almost right away. I was happier, I was more interested in things. My brain was more receptive, I could enjoy reading more. I could go outside and really look at the world around me. I had more time to pursue interests, and more time to just rest without watching a screen, or to listen to music instead of watch music videos. I am more awake. That, versus yesterday, when we watched things for hours on end, and at the end of them I felt cranky with everyone, bad about myself, and confused about where I was in my personal life. I might have felt all that anyway, but it seemed so much worse than of late, and I couldn’t even think as clearly. To be honest, I’ve noticed the quality of what I’m watching plays a part, you feel clearer after good movies, and sutpider after stupid ones. It’s just the way it is.

I have found myself more paitent with people, and more at peace. Because in the absence of a screen, I have to use real substance to feed my imagination, not sicken it.

This is very long, so I’ll save the rest for a later post. I think we all have plenty to consider, myself included.

 

Moving on

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So we’ve all heard some form of the phrase “You need to move on.” People in movies and shows say it as a quip, never really expecting the person to take their advice. But what does it actually look like to move on?

I present for your consideration Ella from the 2015 Cinderella, she’s a really good person. Kind and courageous. Enduring a lot of mistreatment with never a harsh word. Her Stepmother, who hates her for no reason of her own except that she exists (the most deadly type of hatred,) keeps doing cruel things to her out of jealousy. At the end of the story Ella is finally found and rescued by her Prince. She is about to leave this house and the stepfamily who treat her worse than a dog. She could gloat, I bet a lot of us would have a hard time not doing that, but instead Ella looks back at her Stepmother who is sinking down on the stairs in defeat. Seeing her Ella seems to realize that no matter what good might happen to her the Stepmother will still be miserable because she has chosen to be. So Ella, perhaps seeing a hint of guilt in her expression, says simply “I forgive you.” Then she walks out the door.

If you forgive someone from your heart, you no longer harbor ill feelings for them. You can be glad when they do well, and sorry when they suffer. (This may sound impossible, if so you’re not there yet, but don’t give up we’re all on the journey all the time.) But until you move on, the person still holds power over you. You still may desire their approval. Or you may be overly sensitive to their words. It’s taken me ages to realize that until I move on, I will still base my self worth on what other people think of me. Think of a person who you have a rocky relationship with: When they’re around can’t you just feel what they’re thinking about you? Can’t you tell their opinion of you deep down even when they seem okay with you? Well, there’s a strong chance you’re imagining it. But sometimes it really is the case. Either way the effect on you is to measure yourself by what they think of you.

I’m not going to be silly and say that it’s stupid to measure yourself by people’s opinions. It’s quite natural actually, and sometimes it’s helpful because we tend to mirror each other’s attitudes. If that is the case we need to alter our behavior before we worry about theirs. But, there are times when we honestly have tried to be kind to the person in question. And sometimes they know it and other times they never realize it. (Like the Stepsisters.) Either way it can be discouraging. And they will name us things like Cinderella (I read once that it means “ash baby.”) People’s opinions can have value. But only as much as you give them. If you don’t trust the judgment of the person then they shouldn’t give you your name–which is your identity.

When your realize that you’re wrapping your identity in someone else’s judgment, then it’s time to move on. Forgive them as many times as necessary, but stop pondering what they say about you, stop thinking about the past except when you have to, stop wearing their label.

Likely they never meant to label you, or they thought the label was harmless; but even if they did it purposely, let it go.

At the moment all I know about Moving On is that it’s a choice like most things are. There’s a time to every purpose under heaven. We have to walk away form the pain if we would move forward into the joy. I don’t mean we should be indifferent to people. But that we should recognize that they don’t always get us right. So, moving on…

Letting it go-from another angle.

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Here’s a summary of my last two big posts.

“Be renewed in the spirit of your mind…let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification (building up,) that it may impart grace to the hearers …Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor (loud quarrelling,) and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:23-32.

Forgiving is hard. Yet, I wonder why? We all make mistakes and so why are we so hard on each other for making them? Maybe we want to see a fairness in others that we don’t possess in ourselves.

Let me be clear; by forgiving I don’t mean letting people get away with serious wrong doing. Nor do I mean living in a sort of denial that the damage other people’s words do to you, is not that bad. It is actually much worse than most of us know. Forgiveness is actually acknowledging they did wrong and letting it go. In the words of Stasi Eldredge “It was wrong, very wrong, and I release you.”

Forgiveness is actually more for us than the offenders. I did a little research on this (all credit for my scientific facts goes to Dr. Caroline Leaf and her discoveries)and I found out that when you don’t forgive there is a link between you and that person. Every negative thought they have about you, even from 10,000 miles away, affects you as much as if they were sitting right in front of you. This is science. I’m not making this up. Emotionally most of us have probably heard about the necessity of forgiveness. When you hold on to the actions of another, you build them into your brain. I don’t mean in a mind control sense. But when you hate someone you obsess over them, you think of them and the things they’ve said and done to you; if it’s someone close to you then you struggle with not having their approval on your life even as you despise their opinion. You feel indifferent to their pain and even glad when they suffer. You say you’ll forget them but you can’t, because you can’t let what they’ve done go. If you don’t remember who will? It won’t matter to anyone. And that is what scares us, that our pain won’t make a difference in anything. That we ourselves don’t matter. These people who hurt us were right about us then. The emotional and mental damage this does to us couldn’t be fully disclosed if we took hours and hours to talk about it. To not forgive is to agree with the people who hurt us and to sink to their level at the same time.

That is why the first step toward forgiving is admitting it was wrong and you were damaged. A lot of people don’t get this far. They won’t admit their weakness. Or in some cases they will only admit their weakness but never that they can overcome it. They wallow in their pain all their lives. I mentioned Elsa of Frozen in my last article. I want to quote one of her lines in her infamous song: “Don’t let them in, don’t let them see; be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don’t feel. Don’t let them know.” And we all have said this to ourselves. Keep it together. Don’t let them get to  you. Show them. But it doesn’t work does it? We continue to get angry whenever someone hits a sore place in our hearts. Reread my opening quote. Doesn’t un-forgiveness cause all those things?

So, if you are willing to take step one and admit you have been hurt–bad (And someone may be thinking “I can so do that.” Well hold on.) What is step two? It varies. It may involve crying your heart out. Grieving the wound the Eldredges call it. (I highly recommend their books Wild at Heart or Captivating for more detail on this very important part.) In my own journey of forgiving, I cried several times; I shared my pain with trusted people–but don’t do it with the person who hurt you, that was always a disaster–I prayed about it. To which I attribute all progress I made. Pain can be scary because it is so deep. Sometimes we wish we’d left it alone in apathy and numbness. But really that’s even more frightening.

After sadness, or sometimes before it, will come anger. More anger. And fear. Here we face yet another choice, we can press on, releasing the anger and fear, or we can let it drive us back. At this point you will not feel like forgiving, nor will you feel like the person deserves it, it will be purely a choice. I suggest writing it down. Saying it. “I choose to forgive (insert their name)”

Let me return to science. If you begin to do this, you will get this person out of your head. You’ll be able to live your life without them being a weight on you psyche. It won’t happen all at once, but it’ll gradually lift off. Well, it depends. If it is merely an injustice, then one stroke or two might take care of it. If it is an emotional scar, then you will need to repeatedly make the choice until it is finished because the parts of your brain it has damaged will take time to heal. One thought at a time.

Jesus warned us that if we do not forgive our brother ( which means our fellow man) from our heart, our heavenly father will not forgive us, but blessed are the merciful for they will receive mercy. George MacDonald speculated that the act of unforgiveness does not make God stop being merciful, but rather makes us unable to receive mercy. I think the idea has merit. You see, you tend to reciprocate the behavior of people you dislike, and if you can’t forgive them when they do something hurtful, then you can’t forgive yourself or believe God will if you make the same mistake. Because we demand justice, we force it upon ourselves. Jesus also warned us of this saying “judge not lest you be judged” and by the same measure we use it will be measured back to us. You may say “If God cared He would not have let it happen.” But look at what you are saying. If you demand justice from God it is only fair He judge you by the same standard as the other person. You may even protest that you have the right to act this way because they hurt you, but depend upon it, someone hurt them too. So you have put both yourself and them in the dock. Wouldn’t a fair God tell you not to accuse them when you have done the same thing? Or other things just as bad.

But if we show Mercy, God will forget our own sins, and we will be blessed for rising above our troubles. Jesus gave us one more piece of advice on this subject. Pray for those who mistreat you. If you do this, you will not only get them out of you head, but you will change the atmosphere around you, and prevent them from harming you anymore. In Elsa’s words “I don’t care, what they’re going to say. Let the storm rage on.” In my next article I will talk about recovery and healing, the next step.

Until then, I hope you found this helpful–Natasha.

Go word watching

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I’m using a song to take a message from:

“You can be amazing; you can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug.”

This is the song Brave. So as you can guess this article is about words. (The title’s a bit of a giveaway.) Ever feel like words are mostly empty these days? They used to mean so much; now we call them cliché. Well, it’s not that words have lost their power, but that we have lost our hearing.

Listening well takes a good deal of practice, and a lot of people prefer not to take time to do it.

In frustrated moments I have blurted out things plainly (I thought) that I would much rather have only hinted at, but no one heeded the hints. Sadly, people have seldom (I won’t say never) heeded plain speaking either.

Hysteria: An uncontrollable emotional outburst, as from fear or grief, often characterized by irrationality, laughter, weeping etc.

I think hysteria is born of frustrated silence. From unbalanced people. Like Miss Amelia in “A little princess.” Let’s hope we won’t get to that point or if we do that we won’t park there. Even if you have, there’s a way out.

Words are weapons, and like any weapon they can be handled with reserve and control and skill, or maniacally by an ill-trained  or cruel person. Watch you words. This is told to us from a young age. By our parents, our teachers, our extended family, even our pastors. But they don’t always tell us why. Or how. So we end up confused and unsure what situations call for words and what ones call for silence.

I sometimes suffer from allergies that affect my sinuses. When this happens my ears can get plugged or drain uncomfortably. I can still hear, but the funny feeling distracts me and makes me fall out of it. How many of us have this with our mental hearing? We hear, but it’s like we aren’t fully present or something is plugging our understanding. We’re easily distracted.

But I am tired of only hearing about problems, and I’m sure you are too; let’s move on.

The thing is, no one tells us what to watch our words for. As an early adolescent I was constantly told I was rude and disrespectful. Often I had no idea. People would then tell me they were trying to help, but they wouldn’t really help. They explained my problem but were short of any solution other than for me to change my attitude. That was one thing I needed to do, but even after that I continued to blunder my words. I wrote stuff back then, and my writing suffered from lack of tact, taste, and detail. I realized this eventually. But while everyone could explain–over explain–my problem, no one could tell me a good way to resolve it. It’s looking back at this that makes me so glad there’s a God who cares about us. No better Therapist. Thanks to a lot of good reading–and that includes my Bible–I finally started to have a clue. It’s been slow; I’m not naturally a person considerate of the effect of my careless words. But a few simple rules would help.

Firstly. Something someone should’ve told me years ago (and I should’ve listened if they did) is to consider how I would like that said to me. This is fairly easy. If you’ve any imagination, picture yourself in the other person’s position both emotionally and physically. Reading a lot of books by various authors is helpful; one that’s helped me a lot is the Ever After High series by Shannon Hale. Because it covers two people from opposite perspectives yet though one is shown to be more clear-thinking, both have flaws and good qualities that make you respect them both even when you don’t agree. The web series the books are based on is also a great study of diverse characters. Another good read is “Till we have faces” by C. S. Lewis. But virtually any decent book provides multiple perspectives if you only look. Another good idea is to practice sympathizing even with people you like and understand.

This rule is often given as the best and greatest key to communication, but actually it is only the first step. As Stephen R. Covey put it, “Seek first to understand then to be understood.”

Secondly. Explain yourself. ( I must put a disclaimer here; this next step only works in certain situations. I would not try it in a high stress environment. Been there, and it never works. Unless with extremely mature people–apply step one in these circumstances. People often don’t mean what they say when they’re upset.) I have had to use trial and error in learning to do this. You probably will too. But I have a tip: be concise. The best trick I know for that is to think out your idea or complaint 2 or 3 times privately or with a third party, before bringing it to the person in question. I journal it. Also never explain something when you’re angry. It’s okay to be emotional. But as soon as anger comes in, reason weakens. I know–it feels so good to rant, but that is better done in private.

Choose your words carefully. Watching your words is about watching not what you mean (intend), but what you convey. too often I’ve meant to compliment and conveyed an insult. People have also hurt my feelings when they meant to be playful. Also, you can mean strength and convey anger. Or mean caution and convey fear. People read words, and read into words, differently. Sometimes it is not your fault. But a little extra thought might go along way in explaining. Know who you’re talking to. My dad appreciates clever humor with sincerity, my mom likes straight but gentle talk. I like energetic but affectionate communication. Each of us can easily misunderstand the other if we don’t consider.

Thirdly. But watching you words goes even beyond that. Sometimes you will have to say what nobody, not even yourself, wants to hear. You’ll be under peer pressure, and it’s so easy to frame our words into the most tolerant phrasing we can. Or, if you’re on the other end of the spectrum, you might overstate everything. Looking back, I rarely like that. I prefer grace seasoned with salt. a grace-filled word is like an apple of gold in a setting of silver. A valuable commodity in a rare situation. And the richer your words are the more of such situations you have. “If a situation is tarnished from ill-treatment in the past, that calls for even more care in the present. A family situation is a good example. You can hit a sore spot, but if you keep your head you just might smooth it out. “A gentle word can break a bone,” is another proverb. That sounds bad, but you’ve likely heard about necessary breaks, or that broken bones can heal back stronger than before.

A note on this: Playing off people’s emotions can be a low trick. Especially in America with our constant advertising. But some emotions are appropriate to big things. And it’s more scary or sad if you can’t evoke any than if you can. A good rule of thumb might be if you haven’t felt what you’re evoking, then it’s probably manipulation and hypocrisy.

In summary, watch you words for inconsiderateness; watch your words for clarity; and watch  your words for sincerity. (Which means to be without guile, without cover up of a blemish.) But the Bible puts it this way: guard your mouth. A guard keeps out threats and keeps in threats. It also makes threats if necessary. Tone can be everything as we all know. I hope these three rules help you. I know I need them myself–Natasha.

Life: The heart of the issue of abortion.

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I have heard someone say “if your opinion is right than why do you feel the urge to get upset about someone else’s?” But as good as this sounds, I was disturbed about the example he had used: abortion.

I have to say, I was with him until then. But I can’t condone that because it is something to get upset about. In fact, anything you perceive as very wrong is okay to get upset about. That is the healthy reaction. It is not that I am in favor of knee-jerk reactions. (I’m not and I’ve thought this article out.) There are plenty of subjects this guy’s advice applies to–but never abortion. You cannot talk lightly about such an evil. Yes, I called it an evil. I don’t do that lightly. I have a reason for making abortion exempt from his advice and this is it: If this guy had said to be calm about the issue of domestic violence, homicide, or even arson, (any of the clinically insane, or wicked crimes,) there would have been no debate about whether it (the crime) was the wise choice, or the best one. No one would claim those things should be made legal, unpunishable, or considered harmless. Or helpful to society. Even the most tolerant of political persons would not say that. (Publicly anyway.) They would not advocate homicide.

How has abortion been reduced to an issue even in the minds of Christians? Just introducing it as a political issue has effectively got everyone’s minds off whether it is an evil or not, and onto simply what their individual rights are…How dare we? Since when is it okay to justify any other crime by the person’s individual rights to commit whatever felony they wish? How can you have a right to do wrong? In their heart of hearts, I believe everyone knows it’s not right; whatever they may think to the contrary. But that is beside the point.

Even so, the pro-life campaign often lacks gusto, or is far too angry. (Not always.) I am sick at heart when I listen to other Christians or conservatives speak so “logically” and “rationally” about it. It is not that we shouldn’t be rational. It is that we are so used to the idea. What has happened to us? One word: desensitized.

I have a personal example: A couple of years back I took it upon myself to do something pro-life. To be a good Christian. And to my dismay; my first wall I had to crash through was the apathy and indifference I myself felt. Sadly, my passion had more to do with a teenager’s desire to be up and doing, and to shake things up, than because I had any real sense of the value of life. I realized I didn’t have much. Only the barest hint that  I ought to. And a disgust with the whole abortion process. Anyone can have that.

It is to my shame that I admit this, and that even today I am no expert on how valuable life is. But back then I did what I do ultimately with every problem, I took it to God and asked Him to change my heart. Whether everyone would agree that it is Him who did so, I don’t know. But it is true that I have learned some things about valuing life

The first one was this: Our lack of value for these babies’ lives actually reflects a lack of value for our own lives. Do you really think it’s coincidental that suicide rate has sky-rocketed right along with abortion rates? Not to mention the aforementioned homicide, and less obvious things like self-induced health problems, cutting, and depression have increased also. It can all be traced to an undervalue of our own lives and bodies. If you will not care properly for yourself, how can you care for someone else? As a pre-teen, I spent a lot of time wondering what I was even alive for because I was so miserable. Over a period of a few years God began to show me that I had value simply because I was loved by Him. (What else gives anything true value?) And that my life was a gift from Him; both to me and to the world. God loves every baby and every person. And He gives each of us His gift of life.

“The Thief comes to steal, to kill, and to destroy; I came that they might have life and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

Secondly. Faith of our Fathers. I like to read about the American Revolution and the prelude to it. And in reading the writings of our founding fathers, and about their actions, it was quite clear to me that they put a high value on human life. In fact, at that time, it was generally accepted that human life had immense worth. They respected their own lives and each others more than our most celebrated people of today respect theirs. Why?

It was their belief in God. I delivered a speech a couple years ago about abortion. At the end of it I concluded. “Life is what we would call ‘sacred’ something that is important to God.” Holy. King David actually prayed that God would deliver him “because I am holy.” That is such an unusual thing for someone to say in the Bible that it caught my attention. What was David onto that we are not? In the Bible it says God began human life and made Man according to His own likeness. It also refers to God’s commands as the path of life.  Finally Jesus himself declared. “I am…the life.” God takes life very seriously. In Proverbs it warns of seven things God calls an abomination. One of them is this: “Hands that shed innocent blood.” Note the word innocent. Innocent means the person has done nothing wrong. Existing is not a crime but a privilege. (A friend of mine says “there are no illegitimate children, just illegitimate parents.”) Thomas Jefferson so famously called it “a right.” Unalienable. That means you cannot negate it. You cannot take it out of context. There are no loopholes. No exceptions. The race or age or upbringing of the person does not matter. When Jefferson said all men are created equal he was referring to our three rights. Folks, there is no inequality of life. Either you are alive, or you are dead. End of discussion.

Before I give my third thing I want to share a story.

Once a long time ago, there was a girl named Mary. There was nothing notably special about her, save that she had immense faith. One day Mary was going about her business, never dreaming there was anything unusual  afoot. And then out of nowhere an angel appeared to her. Greeting her as the favored of God. To her amazement, he proceeded to tell her she would become pregnant with the Son of God. Mary of course was astounded. And asked how this would happen since she was a virgin. I’m sure she was probably thinking “Not to mention I’m engaged!” The angel told her the spirit of God would come upon her. Okay–weird. Being pregnant out of wedlock would get a woman stoned in those days, not a fun way to die. But Mary said “Let it be with me as you say.”

Imagine if Mary had lived nowadays. What would her friends have encouraged her to do? Quite possibly to have an abortion. Can’t you just see it? “Oh Mary, yeah, you screwed up, but hey, no one has to know. Having a baby will ruin your life right now. Think of what your man will say? Your parents will kill you. Literally.” And so on. Am I the only one the idea of aborting the Son of God is freaky to? It’s absolutely horrible to think of doing that. But every life is God given. That horridness is just as poignant with every other human child.

Thirdly. Life is beautiful.  Books and nature mostly are what helped me to realize this. Reading The Enchanted April or The Secret Garden reawakened my imagination to what a fine thing it is to be living. Living things are beautiful and human life is beautiful. The things we experience, the obstacles we overcome, the joy we spread in each others lives. Life is not a convenience. It is the second most valuable thing we have. (The first being the love of God which gave us life.)

My reason for writing this is to inspire people to discover life’s value for themselves, and then to protect it. And fight for it–everywhere. We need those who will speak up and stop treating abortion like a mere issue. It is not. It is literally a matter of life and death. If you are a Christian, I implore you to take a few moments to pray about this, asking God to open your heart. Lastly, be thankful for this most precious of gifts–life.

Natasha.