I usually post about positive things because I hate being depressed, but let’s face it, not everything that happens is happy.

If you’ve seen The Princess Bride you might remember two of Wesley’s lines, one being one of the most depressing in the movie. “Life is pain, highness, anyone who says differently is selling something.” The other, said to Inigo in reply to a question is “Get used to disappointments.” I don’t like either of these two lines, they reflect a view of the world that bugs me. Whether Wesley meant them or not is really beside the point. many a cynical laugh has occurred because on the first one. and even the second is rather dismal when you think about it.

Should we “get used” to being disappointed? it can’t be denied that we are often enough. Our plans don’t ever pan out the way we expect; people make promises to us that the don’t keep; we resolve to change and we stay the same.

Sometimes it takes people their whole life to come to the very obvious conclusion that we are just not smart enough to control our lives. If a person could make money by sitting at home, watching TV, not talking to anybody but the made up characters (we all do that,) then there are plenty of people who would give up on life and do it. But even if they were surrounded by plexi-glass with air conditioning and ready made meals, one earthquake, one bad storm, one disaster… and their whole world would fall apart. We’re really good at building intricate card houses. Even card castles. We’re geniuses at lining up domino bricks in our lives, each activity leading neatly into another; but the more work we go into the more fragile our homes are, and one little blow knocks the whole thing down.

Jesus once used this example: The wise man built his house upon the sand and when the rains cam and the floodwaters rose his house collapsed; but the wise man built his house upon the rock, the rains poured down, the floodwaters rose, but the house on the rock stood firm. Sand may be anything we pick that’s unstable. You can build your house out of the finest materials this world has to offer, but it’s still a house on a bad foundation. Now we seldom build with good materials anyway.

Maybe I’m alone in this but I feel like in America we’ve given up on what really matters. Family and friends are too much work, so we’ve made them a side, and who’s number one? Us and our needs. Who cares about the other guy? Let him do all the work and we’ll get by with as little as possible…and we wonder why we feel like losers who have no joy in their life.

Did we choose this because life disappointed us? As kids, so much seemed possible, we could do anything and be everything, but along the way we found out people expected us to be a certain way. We were compared to other kids and found lacking, so we tried to measure up or we rebelled, neither way seems to have helped. We’re still part of the statistic as adults or teenagers. More so than ever in fact.

Well I hate to break it to you, but you will never be safe in this life from statistics and people who put you in a box. The best thing you can do is to stop doing the same thing to yourself and others. when life disappoints you don’t accept defeat as your inevitable goal. You aren’t a percent, no one can tell you that this is how far you will go and no further. No one except you.

Life is not pain. Pain is a signal that something has gone wrong and is not as it should be. You didn’t always feel it and you don’t always have to. But facing disappointment takes courage folks. In the words of this song:

You believe in freedom, but you don’t know how to choose;

You’ve got to step out of you feelings that you’re so afraid to lose; 

And everyday, you put your feet on the floor, you’ve gotta walk through the door, it’s never gonna be easy;

But it’s all worth fighting for.

You can’t control your life. Period. So stop trying. Disappointment if often the result of false expectations. You had no right to expect your plans to work out if you made them for the wrong reasons and based them on the wrong goal. Your mind can’t figure out life, you can’t even figure out yourself for crying out loud. Your plans are a house built on sand.

The good news is Jesus is the rock. Psalms 138 states “The Lord will work out his plans for my life.” God alone can successfully plan our lives. You may not like me coming to that conclusion, but tough luck, it’s the truth. If it helps, God’s plans for us are way better than our own. “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11.) I know someone reading this may scoff, a lot of us have doubted God’s good intentions. To that person I would say this, you don’t even know yourself, you don’t know everything about you house, you car, your neighborhood, your country or anything close to you. But God does. How then can you claim to understand what He is doing? I guarantee that whatever your grief is, it is not what you think. That doesn’t mean it isn’t horrible, or painful, and you shouldn’t grieve it. It’s okay and healthy to mourn over our pain, but don’t be stuck in it, don’t think you see all of it. It takes awhile to get to the point where you can see past you hurt and disappointment, but if, for now, you can at least believe that you will get to that point, then you’ll be okay. I do speak from experience.

If it would also help, know that God feels our pain and is right there with us even when we can’t see Him. He doesn’t despise us for feeling that way, but He won’t pity us more that He should. He won’t lie and say we ought to have set our hopes on anything other than Him. He’s God people, wouldn’t you take that over a house of cards? I hope the answer is yes, but even if not keep watching for more posts, I may be more cheerful in the next one. Honestly though, I do hope this helped somebody. Have a good day–Natasha

Sorry for the long time with no post, I’ve had Author’s fever and have been busy writing other stories.

Today I want to write about something I want to learn personally. Which is to never quit.

A little known (or little practiced) secret to success in any area of life is to never give up trying.

I’ve sure felt like giving up. On myself, on other people, even on my faith. I think some people never realize that being a Christian is not just an opinion, it’s a fight. Anyone who thinks it’s easy isn’t one. To be fair, in some ways it’s easier in America, but in other ways it’s harder. I’m not writing this to complain though, I’m glad to live in a country where I won’t be killed for believing in God and Jesus.

But there are many who aren’t so fortunate. (At least what we would call fortunate.) If I may be so frank, I’d like to say this article isn’t about persevering at a job or in a class. If I may just speak from the heart…last year was a difficult year for me in my faith. I suppose a non-Christian won’t understand this, but I felt distant from God for around six months, straight. I’ve never been through anything quite as painful as that experience. But what it proved to me was that my faith is about way more than feeling good, because I didn’t. I felt depressed most of the time, last September was the worst of it. I would get up and just feel this weight on my soul, and I couldn’t understand it, I’m supposed to have the answer for getting rid of weights and sadness. Right?

Actually Jesus never promised us a painless life, He didn’t promise us an easy one; He promised us an abundant life. Abundant means to have plenty and not be lacking. Even to have more than enough for just us, enough to share. sometimes you have to hurt to know how alive you are, and you have to face death to realize how precious life is. Or you won’t want more of it. Ever meet someone who’s life is no bigger than their job and their TV and cellphone? Or whose life is so choked with activity that it’s more of a slide show than a life? one thing I learned is that nothing in this world can possibly take the place of God in my life; it’s a joke to think it can.

Even knowing that, it is still hard to resist those feelings of worry and discouragement that come when a fight is not being won as fast as I want. But I have a reason for not quitting, if I quit on this, I quit on everything.

There’s a song by the band Superchic called “Go One More,” and the lyrics pretty much sum up what I’m talking about:

It feels like I have lost this fight, they think that I am staying down, but I’m not giving up tonight, tonight the wall is coming down. I am stronger than my fears, this is the mountain that I climb. Got 100 steps to go, tonight I’ll make it 99.

I have everything to lose by not getting up to fight. I might get used to giving up, so I am showing up tonight. I am my own enemy, the battle fought within my mind. If I can overcome step 1, I can face the 99.

A lot of things cause us to give up, folks; fears, failures, injuries; I’ve had them all. But what keeps me going is knowing this: It is so worth it. The Bible actually says that Jesus, for the joy set before him, endured the cross. That joy was us. If He endured all that for us, then we can live through this life for him. That’s my take on it anyway. And one year later I can definitely say that I have joy in my faith now. I wouldn’t change what I went through. And I believe God never left me, actually my problem was I stopped trying to see Him and was only trying to feel Him. When I write about things like never giving up, on this blog, I mean it. Even if there seems to be no reason to keep going, don’t stop trying; because often we don’t know the reason for continuing until we’re on the other side of it.

We are stronger than we think, giving up in a choice every time, not something we’re forced to do. Being stubborn can be a really good quality.

One more thing, giving up on some things is okay, if it’s not going to affect most of your life. But when it’s important, you have to decide just how much it really matters to you. Some things are worth dying for rather than losing, others just don’t matter that much. Which is obvious sounding, but we don’t live like it. We live as if things that will break in four or five years, or four or five months, or even will be gone in four or five days, are so important. And the things that may be here the rest of our lives, we neglect in the name of not having enough time. Prioritize, Persevere, and keep Perspective. That’s my advice for the day.

My mirror is literally on the wall. I guess this is a problem every girl in America and all over the globe has: Our appearance.

You know, it’s not even about thinking we’re ugly at this point. Deep down, I think we just don’t like our body because we don’t like ourselves. You can be a beauty queen and feel ugly. Because you want to have true beauty on the inside. One of my grandmothers was a model in her day, another one was a stewardess; now, even in their seventies, they still hang on to the memories of that, they still want to be beautiful.

And the reason the mirror is our enemy is because we’ve put a curse on it. Whenever we look into it we are looking for the flaws in our outfit or our make-up. It’s gotten so bad I think even the guys have caught it now.

It’s really captured pretty well in this song “Mirror, mirror, on the wall; have I got it? ‘Cause mirror you’ve always told me…who I am. I’m finding it’s not easy to be perfect. So sorry, you won’t define me.”

How is it that we can hear we are beautiful, pretty, smart, nice, and talented; again and again, and we still don’t believe it?

I’ll tell you one reason, we’re afraid. The song “Let it go!” was an instant hit. I have listened to it probably hundreds of times. And it’s not the music, which is nice, but not really my style. (Though I love the piano portion in the beginning.) It’s not even the cool animation or catchy tune. What grabbed me about the song was the mingling of beauty and being fearless. In the book of 1 Peter in the new testament, verses 3-6, Peter gives women some beauty advice, not to rely on gold, hairstyles, and fancy clothes; but on the inner person of the heart, on having a gentle and quiet spirit; which is precious to God. Later he says not to give way to fear. To give way means to let fear run its course in you life and not resist it, to give in. You can like jewelry (I do) and nice clothes, but the trap is liking them for the wrong reason. (Like because they’re popular.) Not that popularity makes something bad, but is it popular with people you respect? Looking like a fashion model is fine if you respect fashion models, but do you? It’s not wrong to imitate how someone else looks, a little bit, but it is wrong to try to become that person. The mirror tells you anything unique to you has to be ugly or boring because it’s you. The mirror always tells you to change what it’s hardest to help. (Like the shape of your face, what else is contouring for?) The mirror tells you you’re not thin enough. (Define thin enough, different weights are appropriate for different people.) But it’s never enough change to make you feel pretty, or hot, or stylish.

Often true beauty is something people talk about but don’t believe in enough to risk trying it. And it is risky. I fell like no one tells us the price. The price is that no one may notice, no one may commend you for trying to be more natural and to be yourself. The price is that you have to choose to lay aside the standards of the world, all of them. The price is that people may think you’re weird for being confident. The price also is that if you don’t meet the regular standards of beauty not everyone will think you’re pretty. But it is so worth it to know that you are beautiful.

I think we need to get a little attitude with the mirror and tell it off when we’re feeling ugly. But I truly believe only God can fix the thing in our hearts that makes us doubt. I’ve never been able to cure myself of it, only God ever breaks through. Though self talk is important. So, beauty is inward, and it is a belief and an attitude. Not a look or a number on the scale.

I’m still going over The Hiding Place. The principles I want to cover in this article are perhaps the hardest to live. I want to open with a thought. The Ten Booms were ordinary people, but they involved their faith in everything, and it made them extraordinary. Greatness comes with faith, but it comes when you’re not looking. You’ll be the last to see it. Corrie never thought she was super special.

Now for the most remarkable thing about their story:

In the second prison Corrie learned the name of the man who’d betrayed them. She says, “Flames of fire seemed to leap around that name in my heart. I thought of Father’s final hours, alone and confused, in a hospital corridor. Of the underground work so abruptly halted. I thought of Mary Itallie arrested while walking down the street. And I knew that if Jan Vogel stood in front of me now I could kill him.” The life dropped out of her spiritual existence. She worked herself into “a sickness of body and spirit.” She told a prison friend about it all, was only too happy to. She was puzzled by Betsie’s seemingly unchanged attitude. Finally one night she asked, “Betsie, don’t you feel anything about Jan Vogel? Doesn’t it bother you?” “Oh, yes, Corrie! Terribly! I’ve felt for him ever since I knew–and pray for him whenever his name comes into my mind. How dreadfully he must be suffering!” Corrie goes on to say, “For a long time I lay silent in the huge shadowy barracks restless with the sighs, snores, and stirrings of hundreds of women. Once again I had the feeling that this sister with whom I had spent all my life belonged somehow to another order of beings. Wasn’t she telling me in her gentle way that I was as guilty as Jan Vogel? Didn’t he and I stand together before an all-seeing God convicted of the same sin of murder? For I had murdered him with my heart and with my tongue. ‘Lord Jesus,” I whispered into the lumpy ticking of the bed, ‘I forgive Jon Vogel as I pray that you will forgive me. I have done him great damage. Bless him now, and his family…’ That night for the first time since our betrayer had a name I slept deep and dreamlessly until the whistle summoned us to roll call.”

How do you forgive on such a scale? Later, out of prison and speaking in Germany,  Corrie met one of the guards from her prison. “And suddenly it was all there–the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsie’s pain-blanched face. He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. ‘How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein,’ he said. ‘To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!’ His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side. Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me. I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more? Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him. I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I couldn’t. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me your forgiveness. As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him. While into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me. And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His.”

I wonder if I could be so humble, or forgive so thoroughly. I know that we are made ready for any trial that we need to face. We are fully equipped. Though the choice of whether or not to “train” is ours. Corrie and Betsie trained all their lives. They were raised on the Bible and church and they did things out of faith all their lives. Whether you agree with such a life style or not, it clearly does something. But the sisters would never want us to give them credit so it’s only fair to them that I say it really wasn’t them.